Trusting someone doesn’t come with a fleeting moment. You cannot trust a soul you have just met. Trust is sacred. When you trust someone, you should do it from your instinct. Trust must not come from your heart or mind. Your heart is a fool while your mind is the expert of creating illusions. If you slip and let them have their way, you’ll only hurt yourself. Your soul might learn the lesson it seeks, but the cost will be too high. Trust doesn’t come spontaneously. Trust comes with time, with efforts, with genuine intentions. Trust develops gradually, with patience and understanding. You cannot rush it. When it comes too soon, then there is something wrong, something devious is lurking in the shadows. And it definitely holds the ability to ruin you. So, stay vigilant. 

For a few seconds, no one moved. Ritu’s heart was beating wildly. She didn’t know what came over her in that moment to take that abrupt step. Although she was standing too close to each other, there was only a slim gap between them which was making the situation even worse. Ritu’s hand was still raised and Jai’s eyes were still focused on it. Ritu suddenly felt thankful to the only sound in their surroundings. The sound of water trickling from the fountain. If it wasn’t there, Jai would probably have heard of her wildly beating heart by now. 

Ritu’s eyes were still glued to Jai’s face, observing his every breathe, every twitch of his facial muscles… waiting apprehensively of his next move. The features of his side face were interesting. He had shaved indeed and which made his jawline even more pronounced. There were twin moles near his right ear she never noticed before. One of them was slightly close to his high cheekbone. She suddenly had an urge to kiss that one exactly. She bit down the inside of her cheek to ground her into the reality. Already enough damage was done. She didn’t even know how he would react. She didn’t want to enhance the repercussions of her reckless deeds. 

After what felt like a small eternity, Jai turned his head and stared at her attentively. The soft glow from the garden light had somehow accentuated his natural eye color, and while looking at them, she felt wary of her gradual loss of control over her legs. Jai blinked softly as he raised his hand and caught her hand hanging midair and pulled it down. His eyes never strayed from her face and she felt her ears gradually turning hotter. She was cent percent sure her face had colored a deep shade of crimson by now. Good thing, it was night. Otherwise, it’d have been embarrassing situation for her. Not that it was not currently. 

Meanwhile, she was hyper aware of the way Jai was holding her wrist in his hand. Not too loose, but firm enough to make her feel the heat transmitting from his skin to hers. His eyes softened before his lips moved and his calm voice rang out without a trace of hesitation. “Ritusha, I know you’re attracted to me, but I don’t understand why. This is…not going to end up well. It’s impossible between us since the beginning. Then why do you want to cross the boundaries which might not worth it in the long run?” He paused briefly and dropped his gaze to where he was holding her wrist and continued more discerningly, “And if you’re looking for something fleeting, then I am not the right person.”

Ritu’s breathing stopped for a few seconds as Jai said those words. When the underlying meaning settled in, she felt her whole body burn with humiliation. She ripped her hand from his grasp and exclaimed, “Do you really consider me to be so promiscuous?”

Jai flinched and raised his eyes on her. “No, I didn’t mean-”

Ritu raised her hand and clutched a handful of his shirt’s collar. “Listen, Mr. Jai Basu. I don’t know what I am feeling towards you. But it’s definitely not something I have ever experienced before. I am hella confused myself, alright? And anxious. And scared! Not just because of all this crap going on in our lives, but also because of this crazy alien emotion I am having for you. It is making me feel unreasonably foolhardy and vulnerable at the same time. It is…it is…” she searched for the right word while her fist tightened around his collar as she pulled it toward her making him lean his head closer to her. Her voice suddenly lowered as she added, “messing with my… reasonableness.”

Jai didn’t say anything for a few seconds until she felt both of his hands on her waist. 

“I can be reckless with you but that might bring both of us a disastrously costly consequence.” His voice lowered to almost a whisper. “Are you really ready for that?”

Her gaze dropped to his lips and lingered there for a while until she gazed up and looked straight into his eyes. “Listen, I know I am scared and I also know that life is undeniably risky and it’s all about experiences. Isn’t it?”

Jai’s hold on her waist was although featherlike but his big hands were almost touching her bare skin where her crop top just ended. It gave her that kind of tingling sensation in her stomach which she felt while watching her favorite characters kiss on the screen. 

Her other hand moved on its own accord and rested on his chest gently. 

Jai’s mouth stretched at the corners as he leaned closer and whispered in a deep voice, “You’ll be a bad move for me, Ritusha. A risky, wild move…which can ruin my career, my reputation, and even my life. But you’re tempting me to walk on this outrageous path desperately. You’re a true troublemaker, Ms. Roy. A terrible influence.”

Ritu imitated his smirk. “I’m a pro at being reckless. It’s pretty adventurous if I might add. Do you want to experience it?”

Jai chuckled drily and blinked averted his gaze. “You don’t say. Even when I’m pretty aware of getting caught and beaten up by your people, my conscience is being swayed by your spirit of adventure. Are you sure you're not putting a spell on me?” Jai mockingly asked, his voice almost a whisper while his hands on her waist moved slightly upward. His thumbs now rested on her bare skin. The contact sent shivers down her spine.

Ritu felt a flutter in her chest at his words. Was he considering her unsaid suggestion? Her hold on his shirt tightened slightly as he turned his eyes back on her. She could tell something was holding him back by the way he looked at her. The conflict in his eyes was quite visible. As if he couldn't decide whether she was his call to comfort or his path to doom.

Meanwhile, standing this close to him made her knees weak. “So, what now?” she asked softly while pulling him closer by the collar, their bodies were now touching and the friction felt unknown and familiar at the same time.

Jai took a deep breath as if to steady himself before focusing his intense gaze on her. He tsked then added, “Ritusha. It’s not just about me. I can't only think about myself. I have to think about them too. The kids are important and are the origin of this all. I have to take care of them. Besides, what you have in mind is too…” he hesitated as if searching for the right word. “Unaligned. We have a huge difference socially and financially. You shouldn't ruin your reputation hastily, Ritusha.”

Ritu’s grip on his collar tightened, pulling him closer. Their faces were inches apart now, their breaths mingling in the summer night air. “Let me decide what I should or shouldn't do,” she whispered fiercely. “You can’t decide it for me, and I want this. Even after knowing all of those complications, I still want this.”

His jaw clenched. “You don’t understand the kind of damage this could cause. Your family will never accept me. And I value these things above my own urge!” Jai closed his eyes for a fleeting moment as his shoulders dropped. “I have many responsibilities right now, Ritusha. You know that. Additionally, if I were to take your father's offer which I'm compelled to take considering the current scenario, my life would be at risk too. I cannot bring you down with me. There's no future.” He attempted to step back. “Us… is impossible.”

Ritu pulled him closer, preventing him from succeeding in his intention. “You can’t foresee what's possible and what's not. Can you? Jai, I really want to understand my heart. Because it keeps screaming at me to…” she paused momentarily and searched his eyes before whispering, “choose you.”

Jai’s hands tightened on her waist. “You’re impossible,” he murmured, his voice heavy with both exasperation and longing. “Absolutely impossible.”

A ghost of a smile played on her lips. “I’m irresistible.”

Jai chuckled dryly without averting his eyes, Ritu's eyes briefly strayed to his lips and then returned to his eyes, and then she suddenly dragged him down and closed the distance between them with the gentlest kiss, as if testing the waters of a forbidden sea.

It was fleeting, over before a single breath. She pulled back and examined his expression. It seemed torn. “This is madness,” he whispered, his voice rough.

Ritu released his collar and wrapped her arms around his neck while her heart was beating erratically. “Maybe it is,” she said, her eyes locking onto his. “But I’d rather have one moment of madness with you than a lifetime of regret without it.”

“But sometimes, one moment of madness can bring a lifetime of regret. Be careful of what you wish for.” Jai countered rationally but didn’t pull away, which was a good sign. If she couldn’t even strengthen the foundation, how could she expect to ride against the tide?

“So?” She asked quietly.

Jai stared at her for what felt like an eternity. She could sense his resolve crumbling with every passing second. And then, with a low, frustrated groan, he leaned forward and kissed her. This time fully, deeply, as if surrendering to the chaos she brought into his life.

For the first time in his life, he let himself fall prey to his urges.

Their lips moved in sync and it was nothing like Ritu had ever experienced before. Nothing like the heated but fleeting kisses she had shared with Pihu. Yes, she might've kissed before but they lacked the depth. This was different. Jai’s lips were rougher yet firmer. He kissed her urgently but there was a sensual touch in his lips. As if he was too invested in taking care of her delicate lips, or too scared of hurting her. His way of kissing her like that made her heart race rapidly. She was well aware of the forbiddances of their action yet she couldn’t seem to have enough of it. 

And it turned worse when her heart sang its euphoric approval with an intake of air. They parted while panting slightly. Jai looked down at her with a look between that of content and worried. Ritu searched his eyes which were seducing her with an invitation to drown into their honey ocean. 

She gulped and was about to express her feelings, Jai broke the silence first. “We should get back inside.”

Ritu paused for a moment studying his expression. He was anxious. 

“Hey,” Ritu whispered. “Let’s pretend normal in front of them for now. They don’t have to know things right away.”

Jai chuckled dryly. “Do you really take me as a child who can be pacified by a false hope?” He paused momentarily as Ritu frowned at his words as he added, “It’s your father and brother we’re talking about. They could literally get through any man’s defense.”

Ritu tsked and stepped back leaving a few feet’s gap between them. “Whatever. Let’s not think about that now.” Jai’s gaze dropped to his hands, now left bereft of the warmth of her skin. Then a faint smile appeared on his lips as he slowly buried his hands into his pockets. Meanwhile, Ritu continued more somberly, “I’m more concerned about your acceptance of their offer. This might very well end in a…” She paused and shifted her gaze toward the Brahma Kamals again. “Bloody battle and I won’t even be surprised.”

~~~ 

29th May

After Jai left that night, except Abhimanyu, all the men had been giving her suspicious glances. Miraculously, no one asked what they talked about which led Jai to accept the job right away. Ritu although didn’t expect such silent acceptance from them, she was relieved nonetheless. 

Since she was grounded by Abhimanyu, she couldn’t leave Ishani for the last two weeks and stayed confined in her working room adding fine details to her dresses. They turned out satisfactorily. Even though Shreya assured her they looked extremely fabulous, Ritu wasn’t really sure of her fashion taste. Her sister-in-law was, in fact, too ordinary to understand the critical angles of fashion which were really crucial to score points. For her, every glossy fabric looks gorgeous if it’s placed on a mannequin. 

Ritu scoffed while sewing the last rhinestone on the midnight blue sash around the waist of the petite girl, Sam. Today the models had come who would run for the show for her designs. Last night she literally had to beg to Pihu for the models to over for the fits. As much as she hated it, she had no other options. If she had asked her father, he would’ve asked his PA for a full-blown recruitment drive! Of course, Ritu couldn’t afford that. Even when she had the money. But it was still her father’s money. She wouldn’t use her father’s money for her graduation show! She didn’t want to. It was about her competency and as a Roy asking for help was against her code of conduct. 

Fashion industry was all about making connections. Since Pihu was already in the industry, it wouldn’t be a big deal to ask help from her. Because it wasn’t really help, right? It was making connections! 

That was what she told herself while asking for Pihu’s help. Pihu complied nonetheless. Even though it took her a fairly good time to found the models. Most of them were newbies. But it was okay with Ritu. She was also a newbie! God! Not even a newbie. She was practically a student! She couldn’t afford to be fussy about this arrangement. It was more than enough.

Ritu eyed around the packed room where the models were fitting into the dresses. Her working room was although large enough but with 15 people inside, the room practically looked crowded. Of course, she needed extra hands. So, she asked Shreya, Dona and…Irfan to help her.

At first, Irfan looked at her with an expression between incredulous and dreadful when she asked him. It was nowhere near a bodyguard’s duties to help a fashion designing student for her show. But she had no one else. All her friends were busy with their own final runway show. Despite, she couldn’t really call them her friends. They were only for the time when she could spend thousands behind them in the clubs and parties. After her accident, not a single person showed up!

Ritu groaned inwardly before focusing on the piece of art before her. The only person who was threatening her status along with her composure. Max Xavier. The only person Pihu warned her about. The only person who wasn’t really a newbie. And the only person who had been giving her that flirtatious look since he arrived. 

Ritu threw him an annoyed look which broadened his smirk. It screamed…trouble.

Pihu shouldn’t have sent him. Ritu frowned and picked the needle and thread from the desk and walked over to him. Only he was left with the fitting. Damn it!

As she stood before him, her eyes made a quick contact with Irfan who was picking the waste fabrics from the floor and dropping them inside the box. His gaze was sharp enough to not miss anything unusual.

Ritu shifted her eyes back on Max and began examining the fit, deliberately avoiding eye contact with him. She had given him the silver-colored georgette long kurta with contemporary work of mirror and sequins, that had a deep v-cut neckline exposing half of his abs, paired with a mint green silk salwar. She had given it a futuristic finish with a separate cowl neck hoodie with the same material as the salwar. It looked unnatural but with a story of its own. He had the perfect build for that outfit.

Max was taller than her by a foot, so of course he was towering over her. As she worked with the thread and needle on his sleeve, Max leaned forward and whispered in her ear, “I’m so glad to serve the famous Ritz Roy.”

Ritu flinched as his breathe touched her ear causing goosebumps run along her skin. She shifted her eyes on him and saw that same annoying smirk playing on his lips. Well, he was good looking with a sharp jawline that could literally cut someone's confidence in half with just a glance.

Ritu inhaled sharply, choosing to ignore the smug expression he wore. Stepping back slightly, she muttered under her breath, “Hold still. I don’t want to jab you with the needle.”

Max tilted his head, his smirk widening. “I wouldn’t mind if you do. I’d rather enjoy it very much, Ms. Roy.”

Ritu didn’t acknowledge that verbally but pushed her hand on his arm slightly forcefully. 

In response to which Max chuckled and widened his stature to give her more access. 

Yep! He had a good body.

Ritu groaned internally and focused on her work. But the man was such an adamant tease. He kept on moving and brushing parts of himself unnecessarily to her. She was almost done with his sleeve when Max raised his other hand and tucked a loose strand of hair that came loose and tucked it behind her ear. He didn’t stop it there. He grazed his finger along her neck down to her collarbone and then blinked and shifted his mischievous eyes to her startled and annoyed gaze. 

“Max,” Ritu said in a hushed voice not to attract attention. “I need you to cooperate, not distract me.”

Max leaned in and responded, lowering his voice as well so only she could hear, “I didn’t realize I was creating a distraction for you with such a trifling touch.”

Ritu’s cheeks heated, but she refused to give him the satisfaction of a reaction. She clenched her jaw and slapped his hand away. If only she had any other option, she'd have shown him the door right at this moment. Only reason she was holding back from signaling Irfan was she was almost out of time for the preparation of the final show. 

She moved to the other side and focused on the other arm. “Behave or I'll have to ask my bodyguard to show you your place,” Ritu mumbled as she worked the needle on the fabric.

Max was about to say something, but thankfully got interrupted by her phone buzzing in her pocket. She hurriedly pulled it out and glanced at the screen. It was Jai. A sense of relief swept through her like a cool breeze on a hot day. Literally.

Ritu answered the call promptly, propping the phone on the desk as she turned back to the fitting. “Hey,” she greeted casually while continuing to work on Max’s sleeve.

Jai’s face appeared on the screen, his composed demeanor and calm voice made her annoyance fly out the window. “Hey,” he replied, his eyes flickering behind her to take in the bustling room and... Max.

Max, who had conveniently stayed close, leaned against the desk, his stature relaxed and that ever-present smirk still plastered on his face.

“What’s going on?” Jai asked, his tone neutral but his gaze expressed otherwise.

Ritu answered without hesitation. “Fittings of the designs on the models.” 

Jai pursed his lips before uttering a short, “Oh”.

Ritu asked, “Where are you now?”

Jai answered briefly, “Just reached the shop. I went to the bank to inquire about the case.” 

“Learned something new?” Ritu asked with genuine interest, but her focus was on her work. 

For a few seconds, Jai didn't say anything. Then when Ritu turned her gaze on the screen, he looked disgruntled. But he responded curtly, “Not too much, but your uncle was right. There's something we're overlooking.”

Ritu nodded and turned her head toward Max and then without any thought cut the thread with her teeth. Naturally she had to lean closer to Max while doing so. And that was exactly where that man of trouble took advantage of their position. He placed his hands on her hips and gave it a light squeeze. 

Ritu jumped at the intrusive attack causing herself to lose balance and she stumbled backward. She would've touched the ground with her rump unless it was the same annoying person saving her by her waist. “Careful, Ms. Roy,” he slurred sporting the same smirk. 

In the meantime, both Jai and Irfan had cried out her name. 

“Ritusha!”

“Ritu!”

Irfan was by her side in an instance and steadied her from Max’s hold. “Are you okay?”

Ritu, although slightly disorganized, nodded. “Yeah, yes. I'm fine. It was- I just slipped.” She prevented herself by saying aloud what just happened and creating a scene. 

She looked at Irfan and gave him a reassuring nod before picking up the phone and walking toward the door. “Be right back.”

“Who was he?” Jai asked curtly. His voice, although calm, there was a hint of botheration in it.

“One of the models.” Ritu honestly responded as she stepped out of the room and closed the door behind her. 

Jai’s jaw tightened, though his expression remained composed. “Oh,” he replied curtly, his tone making it clear he was not at all pleased to learn his identity.

“Just ‘Oh’?” She held the phone up, her brow furrowed. “That's all you're going to say?”

Jai exhaled, his eyes flickered as he averted them. “What else do you want to hear?”

Ritu narrowed her gaze, clearly annoyed. “Why didn't you say anything at that…” she trailed off.

Jai looked back at the screen again. “Because I'm well aware that it’s your job. You’ll meet all kinds of men, and I can’t let my jealousy get in the way of that.” 

Oh? He wasn't really denying that he was jealous. But before she could address that, Jai added on his own, “But that doesn't mean I didn't want to punch his smug face a few seconds ago.”

Ritu’s heart swelled. She leaned against the wall as a small smile broke free on her lips. “Oh really?”

Jai’s eyes darkened slightly, his voice low and steady. There was no hint of amusement or insincerity in it when he responded next. “I’d have done exactly that, if I was present there.”

Ritu’s stomach flipped at the quiet intensity in his words. She tried to suppress the grin tugging at her lips but failed. “You sound a little possessive, Mr. Basu.”

“Shouldn’t I? Ms. Roy.” He asked instead, his lips twitching into a soft smile.

Ritu grinned brightly. “Well, you don't know me yet. I can very well handle myself.”

“I know you can. But it'd be a privilege to me if I could protect you from all the harm the world might throw at you,” Jai replied, his voice steady, his gaze unwavering. There was the genuininty in his voice and gaze that squeezed her heart into an aching mess. 

She was at a loss for words. Her eyes wavered slightly as she broke eye contact and gazed down when Jai added, “Look straight at me when I talk to you. You're a leo, Ritusha. A lioness is too proud to look away. I respect your fiery grace, and I like that you've embedded it as your second nature. Keep it intact.”

Ritu's heart had never beat so loudly up until now. And it wasn't because of her PTSD. It was because of something more profound but more subtle. 

Something she never saw coming.

~~~

Author’s note: I have told y’all before, this story is difficult to write because I do not relate to Jai. Not in a single way. Not in nine hells. So, this book is the most difficult to write. Additionally, I am writing this book at such stage of my life, where I'm dealing with ptsd. In my real life, I am not really a romantic or sexual being. I’m not even religious. I’m here to pursue the soul’s call. Because, let’s be real. You can only expect betrayal and infidelity in love in current circumstances. So, writing a book with a green flag is a near death experience when I am presently dealing with my own cptsd. Still, I want to give you something that could restore your faith in love. Because ultimately, we’re all beings of light and love. When you’re the light, moths tend to fly toward you. Okay, enough philosophy! I’ll give the philosophy lessons during the chapters. For now, just enjoy the ride. They are falling, yes. Falling harder than any other Roys and this is going to get crazy sweeeet and I’m not going to stop it any way. DON’T FORGET TO VOTE ON THE CHAPTERS!