83.

(Video she is presenting is referred to chapter 52)

Rose

My heart was pounding. There was only one thing I hated about university, and that were the presentations. I hated to be the center of attention, I hated that everyone was looking at me, especially because I didn't really have a connection with most of my classmates.

What was probably even worse was that my presentation was the video with Zayn and I didn't know if I could handle that at the moment. I knew he was still his old self in the video. He still wasn't diagnosed with the term terminally ill. There was still a chance he'd survive around that time, but now everything had changed. It would be hard to watch.

"Alright, thanks Charlotte. Very interesting to see how this woman got postnatal depressed after giving birth. You'll get your marks soon." My teacher spoke, "Next, Rose West."

I took a deep breath and slowly stood up, taking as much time as possible because I didn't want to do this.

I walked over to his laptop and plugged in the USB with the video on it. I had edited it, so no one heard my voice and the questions were texts on the screen. It needed to be like that, because I sometimes just said something that wasn't relevant for class.

Once it was plugged in, I pressed on the video and paused it before looking at my classmates and teachers while fiddling with my fingers.

"Okay, you can start. Remember not to say the patient's real name for privacy." The teacher spoke.

I frowned, "Oh uhm.. but he said his real name himself in the video."

"In that case, he probably didn't mind. You can still use a nickname if you'd like. Go ahead Rose, and good luck." He smiled briefly and wrote something down on a paper, making me feel even more nervous.

"Alright, well my presentation, or video, is about a guy from twenty two.. uh twenty one, he was twenty one around that time, he's twenty two now.." I stammered, gulping for being so extremely awkward. "Anyway, he has had Leukemia when he was five until the age of seven but was clean and had stayed clean for years. But after years, he got it again."

I pressed on the button and the video started to play. I sat down on a chair nearby and bit my lip as it already hit me the way he was looking around that time. Of course he was sick, but compared to now he still looked so healthy.

"Hi, I'm Zayn, twenty one years old and I'm diagnosed with Leukemia for the second time in my life." I stared at him on the big screen and blinked rapidly as I heard his happy, enthusiastic and deep voice. I wasn't going to cry, they couldn't know that I had a personal relationship with him. Even more than a personal relationship.

I got goosebumps when I heard the beautiful sound of his laugh and at that moment- I wished I could turn back the time, where he was still much healthier than he was right now. Where he would tease me, joke around and laugh most of the times.

The video was so precious, yet it hurt me so much because I knew times like that were never going to come back. He wasn't going to be here anymore any time soon and the thought of that was heartbreaking. I kept asking myself.. how can I live without him?

The last question came and I once again heard his laugh as he didn't understand the question and said something that didn't even make sense. I laughed, but at the same time a sudden sob left my mouth.

I hid my face behind my hair and bit my lip extremely hard so I wouldn't start sobbing even more, but it was just so hard to hold it back. A few tears had already slipped from my eyes but I quickly wiped them away and took a deep breath, getting myself together as the video had stopped and I had to face my class again.

I took a deep breath and stared at the floor as I turned back around.

"That was.. very beautiful. He seems like a good guy. I'm sure he lights up the whole department around there, doesn't he?" My teacher laughed. I just forced a smile.

"Does anyone have any questions?" He looked around, his eyebrows raised and I mentally sighed when I saw a few people raising their hands.

I pointed to one of my classmates so he could ask me something. "Is he still alive?"

I stared at him for a while before answering. "Yes." I said shortly, quickly moving on to the next person.

After answering everyone without bursting out into tears, I sighed in relief and went back to my spot. "Very touching, Rose. You'll also get your marks soon."

I couldn't care less about my marks at the moment. I wasn't feeling well at all and I just wanted to go home. Sitting down in my seat, I suddenly couldn't hold it any longer and tears started to stream down my face. Luckily I didn't have any sobs, so nobody noticed.

I stood up, collected all of my stuff and rushed my way over to the door, hearing some classmates say that I was leaving and was crying, but I didn't care. I just wanted to go home, so that's what I did.

Once in the car, I sat still for a while to calm myself down and stop crying. It took me a while as I had only started to cry even more in the car because no one saw me, and I then started the car and left.

The drive wasn't far luckily, so about fifteen minutes later I arrived back home. Parking my car, I locked it when I got out and quickly got inside the house. I sighed when I saw my brothers sitting on the couch.

I dumped my bag on the floor, threw off my shoes and hung up my coat. Stepping inside the living room, my brother's and mum's eyes were on me right away.

I didn't bother to say hi, I just wanted to go upstairs but of course my mother stopped me. "Wait up, Rose. Didn't you have classes until six?" She raised her eyebrow and I just shrugged, turning my face away from her.

"What's wrong, love?" She asked, her voice sweetly because she probably noticed something off.

I again shrugged as I felt tears pricking behind my eyes, like at university.

"What's gotten you into a mood today?" Lucas chuckled, making me turn my head towards him and giving him a glare.

"What do you think, Lucas?" I choked out, not even trying to hold back my tears anymore because I was tired of it and it hurt my head too much.

Lucas obviously didn't expect my answer and his eyes widened as he stood up, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that."

He stretched his arm out to me but I turned away from him, wanting to stamp upstairs. My mum pulled me back, towards the couch and sat me down on it while she sat down beside me. "What happened, Rose?"

Thomas frowned worriedly when he looked down at me and I just wanted to scream. I had too many emotions and I didn't know how to express them. So many things had happened in the past few weeks and I hadn't had time to process any of it. It was starting to bottle up and Zayn's condition at the moment didn't help at all.

"Just leave me alone," I cried, trying to get out of my mother's grip but she, of course, didn't let go.

"Rose, talk to me. You're not okay. What happened? What's wrong?" Mum said, making me cry even harder.

"Stop asking, stop talking, stop everything." I sobbed, "You know what's wrong. I can't take it anymore. It's all too much at the moment, just leave me alone." I managed to get out of her grip and stood up but Thomas held me up.

He looked down at me and stared right into my eyes, "Rose, calm down. Don't get yourself worked up. Calm down, okay? It's going to be alright."

"But it's not! Don't you understand? He's going to die! Do you know what that means? He won't be anymore. Never. He won't be here to make me laugh, he won't be here to cuddle with me, to just be my boyfriend, my friend, my best friend. I won't have him to take care of and look after anymore. He will be gone. Gone. For good. Forever. I'll lose the person I loved the most. Did you ever go through that? No you didn't. How can you expect me to calm down?" I blurted out while the tears were rolling down my cheeks uncontrollably.

"Do you know how much it hurts to see the guy you love the most losing strength more and more every single day? How he has to go through things I know he hates? That he has had and still has days full of unbearable pain? That he didn't even notice he wet the bed five times in two days because he had too much pain? Because he was too weak? That he had to get a catheter because of that and that it hurts?" My cheeks and head hurt from all of the emotions, but I really couldn't stop it anymore. I was tired, so tired.

"Just leave me alone," I said, trying to catch my breath through the sobs and the shaking of my body.

My brother took a step back to give me space and I quickly walked away, ran up the stairs and threw myself on my bed, my face buried in my pillow.

I stared at the wall as I laid down on my belly, quietly crying as I still felt the tears slip out and roll down my cheeks. I was going to visit him in a few hours but I didn't know if I was ready for it this time. I had been so emotional all day long, I had never felt like this before.

I wiped my face and kept staring at the walls until I felt my eyelids starting to get heavy. Not many minutes later, I fell asleep and didn't wake up until I felt my phone vibrating.

Rubbing my eyes, I saw that Caroline was calling. My heart was beating so extremely hard, that I wondered why it didn't already burst out of my chest. I quickly picked up, being prepared for the worst,

"Rose, you need to come to the hospital right now."

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Tell me your opinions?

Also, the next chapter will be the official last one..

Do you think he will die? Or do you think a miracle happens and thats why she has to come to the hospital right now?

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