Rose

The days after we had the good conversation up on the eighth floor, he had started to become weaker. It had gotten to the point where he was almost sleeping all day long, only waking up once or twice in my full eight hour shift. He would use the toilet- chair- which costed him a lot of energy- and would go back to sleep.

We had no choice but feeding him while he was asleep. We knew that if he was awake, he wouldn't want it. And no matter how much I hated to say it, we all knew he was close to losing the battle he had once won.

Caroline dragged me out of thoughts when she tapped on my shoulder, "Zayn's awake. Do you want to help me and put him on the toilet- chair?" She asked.

At first I didn't know what do to. To me, it was kinda intimate, something I didn't want until I was married. But I knew this was different. He was sick, he needed care, and I was going to take care of him no matter what I had to do. So I nodded, "Yeah.. if he doesn't mind."

"No, love. I have asked him about this before. He told me that if he needed the care like this- he'd want you to be the first one to help him." Caroline smiled as she rolled the chair over to Zayn's bed.

I smiled at that and felt the warmth glow inside of me, a feeling only Zayn could and had ever given me. "Okay, let's do it then."

Walking over to Zayn's bed, I noticed he was already staring at me with sleepy eyes, a very small smile on his face. He stretched his arm out to me, but it fell down rather quickly again. He couldn't hold it up like he used to do, he didn't have enough strength for that at the moment. But his eyes said more than his physical actions.

His eyes followed me all the way over to the bed as I sat down on it. "I'm going to help you, yeah?" I pointed at the chair and Zayn nodded, his small smile never leaving his face.

"My Rose," He whispered as I removed the duvets off his body. I looked at him and smiled. For some reasons, I loved those words so much. I wanted to hear him say it all the time.

Caroline and I helped him sit up and it took him a few seconds to gain his balance and stay like that on his own. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes and his smile grew a little wider, and I knew a joke was coming because he always did that. It made me happy. We all needed his humor.

"I only have to pee, so you're lucky." He said, his voice hoarse from the hours of sleep.

I pretended to wipe my forehead in relief, "Well, pfew." I chuckled, stroking his bald head and making him smile even more.

"We're going to help you up, Zayn." Caroline said. We both placed our arm underneath one his armpits and we held him up as his arms were around our shoulders.

His face fell and an expression full of pain replaced his smile. It broke my heart, but we had to do this. He tried to hide it, but failed as Caroline noticed it too. She gave me a sympathetic smile and as she pulled down his pants, I sat him down on the chair.

We closed the curtain to give him privacy and after we heard a small 'done' coming from behind the curtains, we opened them again and walked over to him.

Zayn stretched his arms out to me and as he wrapped them around my neck, I pulled him up so Caroline could pull up his underwear and pajama bottoms again.

I felt him breathing in my ear as she did so as his face was really close to mine. I could hear how much standing up already took him much energy. His breath hitched when Caroline softly tugged at his pajama pants to bow the small ropes that were on his waistband, because he was pulled from his place and it took him energy to stand up straight again.

I could bet that if I gave him a small push with my pinky, he'd be on the floor. That's how weak he was and that made me so sad. His birthday would be soon and it would be so good if he could enjoy it. I didn't want him to get any weaker.

A soft yawn escaped from his lips, right into my ear and it made me smile. I loved the sound of it and it had the same effect as his breathing in my ear. It was still a sign that he was alive, but it always made me think of how there would come a day where I wouldn't hear it anymore.

"Tired, babe?" I asked him and he nodded, resting his chin on my head as he was still taller than me. Almost all of his weight was on me and I had to gain my balance as well, or I'd fall with Zayn on top of me.

"Let's get back to bed." I whispered and softly kissed his cheek as he removed his chin from my head.

Caroline helped to put him back down in bed and we both tucked him in, just because we liked the feeling of taking good care of him. Another yawn escaped from his lips and it didn't take him long before he was gone.

We quietly started to clean up everything and after about twenty minutes, Trisha came into the room with Doniya and Waliyha. I smiled instantly by seeing them, knowing they were actually sisters and mother in 'law'.

"Hello beautiful, how are you?" Trisha smiled brightly when she saw me, placing a kiss on my forehead after giving me a hug.

I smiled, "Fine, Trisha, thank you." I turned my attention to Doniya and Waliyha and gave both of them a big hug. It was wonderful how connected we felt after the few days at their house, and maybe even more connected because we shared the same emotions through this hard time.

"Can you believe my baby will turn 22 tomorrow?" Trisha said as she kissed Zayn's face, Zayn not feeling it as he was in a deep sleep.

Waliyha chuckled, "Mum, 22? That definitely means he's not a baby anymore. You should've stopped calling him that when he got into puberty."

Doniya and me laughed at his sister's comment but Caroline looked at Trisha like she understood it, a small smile playing on her lips.

"Can you blame me when he's looking like that? All sleepy and cuddly." She pressed another kiss to his face, "And besides, he still likes it."

Waliyha pulled a face and shook her head, "Okay, I guess." She chuckled, watcher her mother as she sat down.

"Alright, so for tomorrow I wanted his family to come by for his birthday. I baked cakes and stuff and I will bring some decorations if that's okay?" Trisha asked Caroline, who nodded right away.

"Yeah, of course. There's usually not so many people allowed in the visiting hours, but we obviously made an exception as.. well.. you know." Caroline smiled sadly.

Trisha nodded, "Yeah, I understood. Thank you so much, Caroline. Everything you do is so wonderful.. really." She teared up and I bit my cheek, knowing it was already starting to get emotional.

"Of course, Trisha. You know how fond I am of him." Caroline grabbed her hand and held it for a while. That's everything it took for Trisha to start crying. Waliyha immediately looked down and Doniya played with her fingers as she stared at her sleeping brother.

"I'm sorry," She said, wiping her eyes. "He told me he wanted the cheapest coffin, not wanting us to spend so much money on him. How is he still so selfless?" She slowly shook her head.

Caroline smiled a little, "That's how he's always been, isn't it? He's a wonderful person, Trisha. You've raised an amazing guy."

I noticed that Waliyha had started crying and I placed my chair next to her, wrapping my arms around her neck as I tried to comfort her. She immediately leaned into me and buried her face in the crook of my neck.

"The world needs more people like him, yet they take him away." Trisha wiped her face and smiled slightly. "Sorry, maybe that's a wrong thing to say."

"It's okay, mum. It's not a wrong thing." Doniya said quietly, smiling and proving how strong she was through everything.

"It's my child." Trisha said so quietly, that we could barely hear it. That comment made me tear up but I quickly blinked it away as I didn't want to cry. I had cried so much these days- it gave me headaches.

Waliyha laid her head on my shoulder as she stared at her mother. "I can't miss him either, mum. Nobody can." She said, her voice slightly cracking. "But we'll be here for each other, always."

"Definitely." Trisha took a deep breath and dried her face completely, staying quiet for a while. "So.. what has he been up to?" She gave me and Caroline a small smile after a few minutes of sniffles and silence.

Caroline looked at me, "He sleeps a lot and.. yeah. He doesn't have the strength to do much more." Trisha nodded understandably and stared at Zayn.

"Is he still in pain?" She pointed to the confusion which Caroline had attached to him again and we both nodded.

"Sadly, yeah. He doesn't tell us, but his face shows it all. It's in all of his bones, and very deep in the bones." Caroline replied.

Waliyha spoke up, "How can he have pain? It's a blood sickness right?"

I smiled at Waliyha because she was genuinely interested and spoke up. "It is, but the bone marrow produces stem cells and platelets that are essential for healthy blood. However, his bone marrow is overcrowded with cancer cells and that's the cause of his pain." I explained.

"I didn't know. Thanks, Rose." She smiled, looking up at the ceiling as she proceeded what I just told her.

"She's a clever girl." Trisha smiled, nudging Caroline's arm as she pointed at me. I blushed and slowly shrugged my shoulders, not really knowing how to handle a compliment.

We had chatted for a long time after that, about his funeral, more of his sickness, Caroline's son, my study out of nowhere, his birthday.. I had a nice afternoon, even if it was a bit emotional sometimes.

I couldn't wait for Zayn's birthday tomorrow, although I still had to get him something. Luckily I already knew what I was going to give him.

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Zayns condition?

Today it's been a month that my beautiful aunt passed away.. can you believe how fast the time goes?