Zayn

I felt someone shaking me and when her loud voice spoke into my ear I woke up with my heart beating extremely fast.

"How many times do I still have to tell you? You're not allowed here, Zayn." Caroline sighed deeply.

I rubbed my eyes tiredly and looked at her confusion. Only then I realized I was in the bed on the eighth floor and besides the fact that I still felt drowsy from my just disturbed slumber, the thoughts of last night flooded back into my mind.

I sat up straight, scared that Rose was still here and that we had been caught but she was nowhere to be seen. Was it a dream? But I knew it wasn't. I could still smell the faint scent of her apple shampoo and I could still taste her lips on mine as I licked them.

I started to smile. I couldn't describe what I was feeling right now. Rose had kissed me back and took all of my insecure thoughts about her away in one second. The feeling she had given me was again, indescribable and I honestly couldn't believe that it had happened.

I felt warm at the thought of our kiss and my hands were once again clammy. I lied back down on the pillow and all I could see when I was staring at the skylight was Rose.

The sun was shining and I was sure that my face was doing the same thing.

I kissed Rose last night. And it was even better than I had expected it to be. I was so satisfied at this very moment that I forgot Caroline was basically telling me things about me being on the eighth floor.

"Zayn, are you even listening to what I'm saying?" She tugged at my arm and I sleepily rubbed my eyes again.

"Caroline, I just woke up." I yawned tiredly.

Caroline sighed and shook her head, "I don't care, Zayn. You know you're not allowed to be here, yet you make yourself extremely cozy and fall asleep?" She tugged at the fuzzy blanket that was covering my body and I frowned.

It was my fuzzy blanket and I didn't even take it with me.

Rose.

She did that for me. I smiled, causing Caroline to frown once again. "What's up with you?"

"Nothing." I said quickly. I stretched my arms, grabbed the blanket and my beanie as it had gone off my head in my sleep and walked over to the door. "I'm sorry, Caroline, I'll never do it again."

She gave me look but decided not to say anything about my apology. "Why did you come to here?"

"The bed is more comfortable." I lied and she knew. She gave me another look and shook her head, focusing on the elevator as we stepped inside and she pressed on the fourth button.

"Why are you wearing your sweatpants and shirt instead of your pajamas?" She now asked.

I bit my lip. Of course she was going to find out about Rose. Maybe she knew and she wanted to hear me say it myself. "I didn't feel like walking around in my pajamas." I lied again.

She bit her lip and stared at me with the expression of disbelief.

"Caroline," I whined.

"What? I'm not saying anything." She replied, holding her hands up in defense.

I sighed softly, "You're looking at me like that. I just felt like being up there because my head was full, okay? Nothing happened I just fell asleep there, I'm sorry and I'll never ever go back there."

"Why are you explaining it again?" Caroline now smiled cheekily.

I squeezed my eyes closed and turned away from her, not wanting her to find out I was lying all the time although I was pretty sure she knew it. I didn't answer her and we stepped out in silence, walking over to my room after that.

Caroline asked me to lie down on my bed after taking off my shirt so that's what I did. I took off my shirt and lied down in bed, wondering what she wanted now.

She walked over to me and took off the bandage. "Look, Zayn. It's almost healed completely." She smiled and applied some cream on the now almost healed wound.

I smiled, "Yeah." I felt thankful for the fact that it was going so well. Caroline then handed me the cream and as she held a mirror up in front of my face I started applying the cream to my cheeks.

I suddenly felt a little insecure as I stared at myself. Wasn't Rose grossed out by my irritated cheeks? Wasn't she grossed out by my completely bald head? I frowned a little and stared at my face a little longer until Caroline laid the mirror down on my bed.

"What did you see?" She asked me.

I looked down and wiped my hands with the leftover cream on the duvets. "Oh, nothing." I quickly grabbed my beanie and pulled it over my head, covering the sight I didn't really like.

"Alright, then eat your breakfast." She pointed at the plate with sandwiches and I nodded. I placed the plate on my lap and took a bite of my sandwich while I watched Caroline grabbing an outfit for me to wear.

I had goosebumps on my skin as my chest was bare, but also because I started thinking about Rose again. I was craving for another kiss, just to feel and taste her soft lips. Just to touch her hair once again.

I hated that she wasn't here right now, because I didn't know what she felt like. I didn't know how she had experienced last night, if she liked it or regretted it.

"Here, now if you're done eating and got dressed tell me what you'd like to do today. I feel like we haven't done something fun in a while and I think you need it." Caroline suggested.

I smiled. We always used to play one or two games a day when I first came here, but later when I got a bit sicker she only came for the care. I was glad she noticed it herself.

"Okay. I want to call my mum first and then we can play a game." I said, remembering what Rose asked me yesterday.

If I discussed it with my mum at first, I could discuss it with Caroline after that. I needed to know it now. I just hoped my mother would say yes.

"Sure, Zayn. Don't forget to take your pills." She waved me goodbye and I sighed in relief. She didn't mention anything about Rose, so she probably didn't know.

I ate my sandwiches quickly, gulped my pills down with a glass of water and grabbed my phone to call my mum. I saw that I had a lot of messages, but I decided to ignore them all. I barely did anything with my phone, only if I needed my mum.

I dialed her number and not much later she picked up. "Good morning, darling! How are you? Is everything alright?"

"Hi mum. Yes, I am. I just had a question." I said, going straight to the point.

"Oh, okay, sure. What's up sweetheart?" She replied sweetly. I heard my little sister yelling my name in the background and I smiled.

I sat down on my bed and played with my still folded clothes as I didn't dress myself yet. "Uhm.. well, you know I'll spend Christmas and New Years at home, right? And since Rose's parents are on holiday and she can't come for some reasons I was wondering if she could spend those days with me- with us I mean.. at our house."

It stayed quiet for a little while and I was afraid to hear her answer, "Oh, I mean she's always welcome here, but love, is she allowed to? I don't think they'll like the idea of a nurse-"

I groaned, knowing this was about to happen, "Mummy, please? I'll discuss this with Caroline too but I just need your permission first. If Caroline approves, then it's not a problem that she's a nurse and blah blah." I mumbled.

"Alright. If Caroline says yes then of course. Your sisters want to meet her as well. She's welcome here and I'm doing this for you." I could hear that she was smiling and that made me smile as well.

"Thanks, mama. I'll ask Caroline. I gotta hang now, I miss and love you."

"Miss and love you more, sonshine. Take care of yourself, yeah? Kisses from your dad and sisters too. Bye, Zayn." After smiling and saying my goodbyes as well I hung up and I started undressing myself, then dressed up with the outfit Caroline picked for me.

It was only a few minutes later when Caroline came back into my room. I sat at the table and grabbed Rummikub, that was weirdly enough one of my favorite games to play.

I grabbed fourteen tiles and waited for Caroline to do the same thing. When I saw I had thirty in total and I could put them down I already cheered as I hated it when I couldn't do that in the first turn.

"How was your mum doing?" Caroline asked as she grabbed fourteen tiles and placed them on her rack.

"Good, I think." I replied, placing my tiles on the table and trying to match some of them. "Actually.. I wanted to discuss something with you."

Caroline's eyes slightly widened, "Oh no, that's never a good thing with you."

I chuckled, "Hey! Give me a chance at least."

"Fine. What's up, Zayn? What would you like to discuss with me?" She now placed her tiles on the table and I tried to puzzle my tiles together with hers.

"Uhm.." I started. I didn't really know how to bring this. "Rose.. she has to spend Christmas and stuff alone because her parents are going on holiday and she can't go with them because she has to work the day before and.." I glanced at her and saw she already had a slight frown on her face.

"Uhm, I was wondering if she could spend her holidays at my house. I didn't think I needed permission but she wanted it because I am still her patient." I sighed at the last sentence. I hated it.

Caroline looked at me and didn't say anything for a while. "Who am I to stop you? If that's what you want, then do it."

"Yeah but it's not that easy, Caroline. If people find out, they'll fire her.." I hesitated, fumbling with my fingers as I felt slightly nervous.

"Zayn, I'm your first contact person. No one else will get in touch with you whilst you're at home. I am the one your parents need to call when you're not feeling well."

I carefully looked up at her, "So you're saying..?"

"I am saying that I'm allowing Rose to spend her time with you. I'm saying that no one is going to find out because I would be the only one to. I'm saying that I'm doing this for you because I think you deserve all the happiness and love someone else can give you." Caroline said.

"I'm also saying it's extremely risky, but then again- it's for you. But, Zayn, I don't know about this, okay?" She smiled cheekily and and I breathed out in relief.

"O-okay, Caroline." I didn't exactly know why I stuttered, but that was probably because Rose was allowed.. well, sort of allowed to spend her time at my house and I'd be with her almost twenty four- seven.

"Thank you." I smiled brightly.

"For you, Zayn. For you."

----------------------

Update because I promised not to leave you all hanging ❤️

Thanks for all the kind words on my Note. I appreciate all of them so, so much. Just in case you were wondering, we got the news that she isn't going to get better. We're getting into the process to say our final goodbyes to her.

Please pray for me and my family, and most importantly for my uncle and my cousins