Zayn

After my mother had spent her weekend with me, she went back home to take care of my sisters and dad and I was alone again.

I knew Rose was working today but I hadn't seen her yet as I was still asleep when she gave me my pills. I hoped she'd come back in a bit, because I wanted to know how she'd act around me after yesterday's hug.

Like she could read my mind, she stepped into my room. A smile grew on my face almost automatically but it disappeared when I saw her face. She wasn't looking that happy. Her eyes were red and puffy and her expression was rather sad.

Though, she still smiled at me when our eyes met. I shoved my sandwich on my plate, placing it on my nightstand as I stared at her walking over to me.

"Hey. Are you okay?" I didn't want to ask if she had cried, knowing my sisters hated that if I asked them and they were girls.

Rose gave me a smile, "I'm fine. Why?"

I watched her as she sat down on my bed and rubbed her face. "You look a little.. sad." I said carefully.

She bit her lip and sighed softly. "Yeah, I know. Just something that happened this morning and since I'm extremely emotional when I'm on my monthly problem I couldn't help and cry."

I smiled a little. She felt confident enough to share things like that with me, just what I did with her. It made me feel better because it made me feel like she trusted me.

"What happened? Was it bad?" I asked, feeling slightly worried.

Rose chuckled. "Not really. Dad and mum decided to book a holiday around Christmas time, but they forgot I still have to work the day before Christmas so I can't go with them. I was mad."

"Oh really?" I frowned, "That sucks a lot. Can't they go a day later? Or can't you come to there?"

She shook her head, "No. They need my car and they don't want to cancel it because my dad said it will cost too much money. So it's whatever." She shrugged.

"I'm sorry, Rose. That sucks.." I said softly. I could understand that her dad didn't want to cancel it. I knew it costed a lot of money but I also felt bad for Rose. "So you need to spend Christmas and New Years alone?"

"Seems like it. Or with my family, but they live across the country so I have no idea how I'll be able to come over. I don't have my car." Rose grabbed the ointment for me and squeezed some on her finger.

I bit my lip thoughtfully and suddenly an idea popped up into my mind, "So what if you spend Christmas and New Years at my house? I'm sure mum wouldn't mind. You'll be my personal nurse and you'll have company." I suggested.

"Really?" Rose's eyes literally lit up and that made me feel so.. strange, in a positive way. But then her slight smile faded, "I mean.. that'd be so nice but they'll never allow me."

I grinned, "But they don't have to know."

"How are they not going to know, Zayn? We can't hide it.. Caroline will definitely find out and I don't want it to be a secret, lose my internship and get negative study results." Rose bit her lip, "It sounds like I care more about my study than about you but my study just costs a lot of money, you know.." She gulped.

I knew why. She basically said that she cared more about me than her study, and I knew her study meant a lot to her. I couldn't help and blush like a little boy but I tried to hide it really hard.

"I can discuss it with my mum and Caroline? Then it won't be a secret and you'll have company with those days." I smiled warmly at her and she returned it.

"Thanks Zayn. Let's hope for it." She said quietly then stood up and applied the cream to my still irritated cheeks. "Do you want to do anything? Caroline said I could spend some time with you."

Caroline. I thought. She did this on purpose because of my feelings.

"Oh uhm.. maybe we can go outside? I haven't been in the garden since a while." I replied, feeling my hands starting to get clammy already.

Rose nodded then smiled, "Sure. Let's go." She walked out of my room as I knew her coat was in the wardrobe.

I smiled by myself but hid it by biting my cheek on the inside. I stepped into my sneakers, shrugged on my coat and pulled my beanie further over my head to cover my ears.

I met her in the hallway again and we stepped into the elevator. "I hate elevators." Rose pouted.

I chuckled, "Oh why so? Are you claustrophobic?"

She shook her head, "Just this feeling in your stomach." We went down and I knew what she was talking about because I felt it too.

I stared at her through the mirror, which was basically one side of the elevator and I stared at her as she was staring in the distance. Her long loose hair fell perfectly over her coat- hugged chest and her face looked thoughtful, which made her look attractive, in a beautiful way.

"Oh! We're here." She dragged the both of us back to reality when the door opened and I quickly followed her out.

"I don't really like elevators too." I knew it was a late reaction but I still felt the need to react.

Rose smiled when she looked at me, "Really, why?"

I chuckled thinking of my own memory. "I got stuck in it one time."

Her eyes widened, "No way!" She exclaimed. "What happened?"

"My mum and sisters were shopping and I hated it so I started being annoying, going up and down the elevator all the time and then it suddenly became stuck." I laughed, shaking my head at my old little self.

Rose laughed as well and let me tell you- that was a sound you'd want to hear every single day of your life. They always say that it can cure cancer, now that is a bit unrealistic but I was sure she could make me feel so much better.

"Poor boy. How old were you? You must've been so scared." Rose opened the door and we both stepped outside, into the garden.

"I was like 8 or something." I chuckled, "I don't think I've ever cried that much in my whole life. I was all alone in that elevator, man."

Rose laughed again, "Aw, so sad. I'd have liked to see it, though. Little Zayn stuck and crying in an elevator. Sounds cute to me."

"Whatevs," I laughed and sat down on a wooden bench, Rose sitting down beside me.

I closed my eyes and felt the sun warming up my face. The sounds of nature like the birds and the slight breeze through the trees were so relaxing, I could fall asleep on the wooden bench I was sitting on in the hospital garden.

"I missed being outside." I said, opening my eyes and looking at Rose who was already staring at me with a smile on her face.

She was playing with a blade of grass and smiled while she looked down at it. "I can imagine. The weather is so beautiful right now, even though it's still cold."

"Yeah," I breathed out, seeing a damp cloud of my breath leaving my mouth. "Doesn't matter. The sun is shining."

"Definitely." Rose closed her eyes, her smile never leaving her face and I stared at her, smiling almost automatically as I looked at her beautiful features.

I scooted a little closer to her, my hips touching hers. "Do you like being outside?"

Rose opened her eyes and looked at me. "Yeah, I love it. I wish the weather would always be like this, though I even love the rain."

"You do?" I asked, "Why?"

"I don't know actually.. because I hate getting wet and my hair becomes straight which I also hate quite a lot but.. I don't know. It's satisfying in some ways. I absolutely love the smell of rain and I always stare out of the window when it's raining. It's cozy, I guess." Rose shrugged slowly with a small frown on her face but it disappeared when she looked at me.

I smiled at her and thought about her words for a while. She was special, that's for sure. "You're amusing, Rose."

Rose laughed softly, showing me her slight dimples and crinkles around her eyes. Another thing I adored. "Oh, why so? I wouldn't think so."

"You just are." I wiggled my eyebrow then slightly bent down to pluck a small daisy flower. I carefully shoved it into my pocket.

"Well so are you. With your mysterious flower project. What is it for?" She said curiously.

I smiled amusingly, "I told you before. Curiosity doesn't flatter you, Rose." I teased, making her smack my arm and shaking her head.

"Rude." She pouted, then stood up and stretched her legs.

I shrugged playfully, "That's what you get for being so curious." I stood up as well and pulled my beanie further over my head, covering my cold ears.

"Blah, blah, blah." Rose chuckled, hugging herself as the cold breeze hit her. I stood in front of her, to catch the wind for her but she didn't really understand. "Oh and now you're blocking me? Excuse me."

I laughed in amusement as she pushed me aside and walked away. I quickly followed her and stood close to her.

I could only imagine what it would be like if she was my girlfriend right now. I'd hold hands with her, stop her so now and then so I could kiss her soft lips. I would tell her everything about the small flower project and I would've put her on my lap instead of the hard wooden bench. I'd wrap my arms around her and hold her close to me so we could enjoy the weather and each other.

But I had to be realistic here. It would only bring her messed up feelings and emotions. She didn't deserve that.

She deserved a guy who could be with her for all of her days. Somebody who could give her kids and a loving home. She didn't deserve a guy who only costed a huge amount of money because of all the medication and care he needed. She didn't deserve someone who loved her but couldn't be there for her as he was always stuck in the hospital.

She didn't deserve a guy who could soon leave the earth because the sickness was too much for him.

I had to put my thoughts aside and act like I would around Caroline. I didn't feel like hurting myself with the thought of her not liking me back.

"Where are you going, Rose?" I asked when I noticed her walking away.

"Curiosity doesn't flatter you, Zayn!" She exclaimed, smiling cheekily and raising her eyebrow when I rushed my way over to her.

I walked over to her and poked the side of her belly, "What did you just say?" I murmured playfully.

She just laughed and shook her head, "My shift is almost over. I have to go to Caroline to report and talk about the day."

"Oh." I said disappointingly. I really didn't want her to leave. I liked the mood we were in right now. "Okay.."

Rose's laugh died but the smile never left her face. "Night shift, tomorrow night. Eighth floor around 1 am?"

"I'll be there." I nodded my head, already feeling way more excited than I should be.

"Good, because I'll be there too."

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