Rose

I took my laptop out of my bag and placed my bag on the floor while I listened to Caroline.

"I'm not sure if he's in the mood for the interview. If I were you, I'd ask him again.." Caroline said carefully, making me feel slightly worried.

I placed my laptop on the table and looked at her, "Oh, why? Is he alright?"

Caroline sighed softly and slowly shrugged. "I have no idea. He couldn't sleep last night. I think he pressed on the help button for about five times."

Caroline had a night shift last night and so she could know that he didn't slept well.

"I'm sorry to hear that.. wasn't he feeling well?" I asked her, feeling concerned about Zayn and hoping nothing was actually wrong with him.

"I have no idea. I guess he was just seeking for company. I think he felt alone. The last time when he pressed on the help button I came into his room and asked what was wrong. He just stared at me, not saying anything." She sighed softly, running her fingers through her black hair and giving me a sad smile.

I felt sad to hear that. I wished that his mother would've slept around. He wouldn't have been alone all night.

"Oh alright.. I'll ask him. If he doesn't want to, then that's totally fine."

"Sure, love. Good luck." I thanked her and walked over to Zayn's room with my bag and laptop.

I also brought a camera and wondered if I had told him that I had to film it. If he didn't want to be filmed, I could always film myself, which would be extremely awkward, but you know. Anything for him.

I opened his door and saw he was half asleep, lying down on his belly with his arms spread out. The fact that he had slept on his belly worried me a little as I thought it would hurt his wound. "Good morning." I said softly.

He sleepily looked up, then widened his eyes and sat down on his bum, "Oh Rose I'm sorry! I forgot." He got out of bed and rushed his way over to his wardrobe.

He seemed to be in a good mood..

"There's no rush, Zayn." I smiled at him and placed my stuff on the floor. "I was just going to ask if you still wanted to do it.. Caroline said you didn't sleep well."

Zayn glanced at me and gave me a small smile, "I want to do it." He didn't say anything to my comment about Caroline, but I also didn't want to dwell on it. I knew he was being genuine right now. He seemed okay, so he probably was.

"Okay." I smiled happily. "Uhm, I forgot to ask you but they asked to film the patient. If you don't want it it's okay too, I'll film myself." I said quickly, not wanting to push him into anything.

Zayn took off his shirt and pulled a red hoodie over his head, "Wow so I'll be famous too? That's quite cool. I want to be filmed." He laughed with his tongue pressed against his teeth.

I thought it was adorable and I couldn't help but feel warm from the inside. The warm feeling turned into blushes appearing on my cheeks as he took off his pajama pants, changing into regular denim pants in front of me without giving one single thing about it. I quickly looked away.

He sprayed some deodorant, grabbed his black beanie and pulled it over his head after washing his face. "I'm ready."

I set up the camera, adjusted the camera to it and switched it on. "There can be heavy questions though.. you just woke up."

"I'm not tired." He replied, sitting down on his bed and watching me set up everything. I looked at him and he smiled, "I promise. So where do I have to sit?"

"You can just sit on your bed if you want. And if you don't understand anything you can just ask because I will cut things out." I gave him a smile and sat down on a chair myself with my hand near the button, "You ready? You can start with introducing yourself."

Zayn smiled excitedly. I didn't know why he was so excited about this, but it made me happy.

The camera started filming and I gave Zayn a nod, letting him know that he could start. "Hi I'm Zayn, twenty one years old and I'm diagnosed with Leukemia for the second time in my life."

He looked at me and I smiled to let him know it was a good introduction. I went to sit down near the camera as I would edit the video with the questions typed instead of me saying it as I absolutely hated my voice on camera. There wasn't a reason for me to be filmed.

"Alright the next question would be, what was your first reaction when the doctor told you you had Leukemia?" I read the question from my notebook and looked at him.

He looked thoughtful, "Well, I didn't really say anything, I guess. I was slightly shocked obviously, but I didn't cry or something. I just kept repeating it in my head like 'I've got Leukemia'. Okay, I need to learn how to live with it." He chuckled carefully, not sure if it was the right time to chuckle.

I smiled anyway. "After you got the results, what happened?"

"Uhm, well I had to go to the hospital for a lot of times for scans, tests, and then they sent me to here, in London, so I could get the right treatments." Zayn replied, looking at me and giving me a smile when he noticed me smiling at him.

"How long have you been staying at the hospital and for how long do you still have to stay?" I crossed the questions I had asked and stared at him as he was staring at me, a thoughtful look on his face.

Zayn thoughtfully breathed out as he looked up at the ceiling, then back at me, "Good question. I've been in here for like.. seven months maybe? And I don't know when I can go home. Probably not soon."

I nodded slowly. I didn't really have to react to his questions as again, I would cut myself asking the questions out. "What do you dislike the most about staying in the hospital?"

"Well it's quite boring. There's not much to do and I'm sometimes not even allowed to do things as I sometimes need rest. I dislike that you make friends and end up losing them.." He glanced at his lap but looked back at me again because he knew he was being filmed,

"I don't know if this dislike is the right word for it, but I also find it hard when I'm really sick and I can't do anything else than lying in bed that I'm so dependent on everyone. They have to wash me and help me urinate and with defection, it's just slightly uncomfortable." He chuckled again, hoping he said the right things.

"I totally get that." I said quietly. "What do you like the most about your stay in the hospital?" I asked.

Zayn stared into my eyes and smiled instantly. I wasn't sure why he did that, but it made me blush a little. "I like that I don't have to wake up at a specific time, or to my alarm clock. And I like when there are nice nurses around."

I blushed again while I didn't even know if he meant me with that too, but the way he looked at me said enough. He was smiling way too sweetly and he then slightly wiggled his eyebrow, making me roll my eyes.

"You're on camera, Zayn." I chuckled.

He slightly widened his eyes and sat up straight, "Right, right. Next question."

"You said you've had Leukemia before, do you remember anything about that as you were little back then?"

Zayn stuffed his hands in the pockets of his jeans, "Uhm well, I don't remember much. There's just one thing that I remember very well. It was in the evening, I wasn't doing well at all and my family members were all around me. I remember my mum and aunts crying and holding me, saying goodbye to me and stuff. I was confused.."

"I woke up the next morning in my mother's arms and when she saw I was awake she started crying again and I asked her what was wrong and why everybody was crying that night before as well. She never told me until a few years ago. I was apparently doing really bad and the doctors had told my family I was going to pass away in the night. They had said their final goodbyes to me but I somehow still found some strength to fight and I survived."

I was quiet because of his story. Those words hit me so deep for some reasons. Just imagine losing your son with the age of seven. I mean, losing your child was never going to hurt less, but he was still so young and innocent back then.

It hurt me imagining what it would have been like for his family members and mother, saying goodbye to a little sick boy thinking he wasn't ever going to wake up once he fell asleep.

Then the shock his mother must've felt when she saw her son waking up again, stronger than ever and surviving the sickness with still a lot of questions in his head because of that night.

Confused as if why everybody was crying around him, kissing his small hand and saying their goodbyes.

It must've been so hard for all of them, even Zayn.

"Rosie," He said, dragging me out of my thoughts. "I asked what the next question was."

I bit my lip, "I'm sorry. It's 'what treatments did you have and did it harm you a lot?'"

He nodded slowly, "So I've had immunotherapy, which were only pills so that wasn't as bad. I did get a few side effects like nausea and glowing but.. then I had chemotherapy. I got nauseous and diarrhea but other than that I just got bald." He took off his beanie and showed it to the camera.

"Zayn.." I stopped him. "You really dont have to do it if you don't feel comfortable with it." I sighed sadly. I never meant to push him into things he didn't want to do.

He smiled, "It's okay, Rose. I want to show them. I'm fine with it."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes." He smiled again, placing his beanie back over his head and sitting back down on his bed. "I've had chemotherapy twice. I then got surgery and radiation. It just gave me an ugly scar and wound and a few fevers." He lifted up his shirt and showed the camera his exposed upper body with the scar and wound, with the bandage attached to it.

"How did it influence your life?" I asked after he was done showing it to the camera.

Zayn smiled by himself, "It just helped me to remember how precious life is. How it can be so short and it helped me to enjoy every single thing there is to enjoy on earth. I appreciate everything so much more now knowing there's a chance it all can stop soon."

I sighed sadly. Please don't stop soon. Let him live.

"Any advice you'd like to give to people?" I asked.

He quickly nodded his head, "Don't you ever trust tomato juice out of a box.. it's disgusting. Don't drink it."

I couldn't help but started laughing embarrassingly loud. I covered my mouth and shook my head, looking up at Zayn as he was looking at me in confusion. "Not like that, Zayn. I meant advice for maybe other people with the same sickness."

"Ohhh." He blushed a little, but quickly hid it. "Sorry, I got the question wrong. Anyway, advice? Buy a comfortable toilet seat after you got chemotherapy because trust me, you will not leave the toilet for the next following days." He raised his thumbs in the air and smiled widely, showing his beautiful teeth.

It was so beautiful.

He made my day.

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This chapter was to let you all a bit know how zayn feels about all of it

Vote and comment if you want ❤️