Zayn

With a cold, metallic stethoscope pressed to my bare skin, I woke up. Goosebumps appeared on the place were my sleep blouse wasn't covering my skin and when I slowly turned my head, I could see the doctor and Rose sitting at the sides of my bed. They were discussing something I couldn't really hear- my mind was hazy, I couldn't focus on anything.

My eyelids slipped closed and I felt like dozing off, but the cold stethoscope kept moving around, which caused me to wake up every time I thought I would fall asleep fully. Eventually, it came to my notice that someone was shaking me gently, calling my name several times.

"Zayn, are you awake? Can you hear me?" The voice was deep and low, I figured it wasn't Rose.

Pushing myself to open my eyes, I blinked a few times, realising I stared right in the eyes of the doctor. "Oh, look at that. I'm just going to move the upper part of your bed up, that alright?"

Before I could even answer, I felt the bed moving. The covers fell off me, making me shiver at the sudden lose of warmth. Weakly, my arm fell beside my body, but I had no strength to put it back onto my cold stomach. I felt like sleeping, but the doctor had other plans.

"Can you open your mouth?" I did what he asked me to. I slowly opened my mouth and felt a cold and thin glass on my tongue. The doctor took it out moments later, "Thirty nine and a half. Still pretty warm." He mumbled.

"It's been the same for days now.. doesn't he need some antibiotics like last time?" Rose's soft voice made me open my eyes and I tried to smile, but my tiredness didn't allow my muscles to do so. It was the fact that she was always thoughtful, helpful. Considerate. It did something to my feelings. It was something I had craved for, especially in these times. I knew her words could have been said by any nurse, but..

"We can give him that.. but he's also drugged with painkillers and his normal pills. It will be too much and besides, his state is not as risky as it was last time." The doctor replied, rummaging. through his bag with tools.

Moments later, I felt a cold, but soft hand pressed to my warm cheek. The warmth spread throughout my body, craving to do the same to her. I tried to open my eyes, and my hazy gaze fell onto her face after a moment of trying to focus. I saw her genuine smile.

I failed when I tried to return it. I hoped she'd understand that I loved her presence.

"What can I do for him?" Rose questioned, making my cheek feel cold when her hand left my skin. I wanted to feel it again, but had no idea how to make that clear now I was in such state.

The doctor's dark voice said something I couldn't quite understand and not much later I heard my room door close. For a moment I thought Rose had left as well, but when I heard her cough, she proved my thoughts wrong.

My subconscious mind dreamed of making jokes, dreamed of walking through the garden full of flowers, dreamed of spending more time, but my body didn't want to give in.

I was startled when I heard her voice near my ear, making me shiver as her breath warmed my skin "Zayn? I'm going to take off the band aid on your face because your skin has started to irritate."

Opening my eyes, I looked at her in confusion.

She gave me a smile, "The band aid which keeps your tube in place. Your skin is all red and.. isn't it itchy?"

I wanted to chuckle at how chatty she was being, but nothing came out. I brought my hand up to my face, which took a while, and I felt the warm, red spot. The moment my fingers came in contact with it, it started to itch, growing me uncomfortable. "Yeah." I whispered. Nonetheless, it made me cough, my throat feeling dry and my voice hoarse.

"Wow, careful there." Rose removed my hand from the itchy spot, brought a glass of water up to my lips.

Carefully drinking the water, the moment the first drops wetted my mouth, I realised how thirsty I had been. Within no time, the glass of water was empty and Rose got me some more. She repeated the action, wiped my mouth on a napkin when I had finished the second glass.

"Thanks." I half- whispered. I felt more awake than dozing off, and finally, I managed to bring a smile to my face.

Her lips returned the gesture and my eyes tried to follow her hand when she reached for something in her pocket. I could not see what it was, but when she scooped a bit out of it with her finger and came near my lips she looked at me, "Your lips are slightly dry, do you mind if I bring some lip balm on them? Don't worry, it's transparent. You won't have pink lips."

I hummed as I tried to laugh, gave my head a nod. I watched her as she applied some with her finger on my lips, the softness of her finger making me feel warm, and stare at her face. Again, her natural beautiful features caught my eyes. Most people would find her dark brown hair and eyes plain, but I thought they were the exact thing that made her this beautiful.

There was a slight frown on her face as she was focusing on applying the balm to my lips and slowly, I could feel my eyes drifting down to her lips. If my strength had allowed me to, I would have had kissed her. Maybe it was for the better that my strength had left me- I couldn't kiss her. It's not what she would've wanted and I really did not want to disrespect her in any way.

When she was done applying the balm to my lips she stared at it for a while, a thoughtful look spread over her face. She slightly tilted her head to the left, causing her loose hair to fall onto my face.

"Oh, sorry about that." She mumbled out, chuckling quietly, collecting all the strands of hair and tidying it in a high ponytail.

"S' okay." I replied slowly, but genuinely, taking a deep breath, my gaze never leaving her.

"I already took care of your wound. Does it hurt?" Rose reached for the band aid, which was on my cheek and slowly removed it. When she had taken a fresh one out of the first-aid kit, she applied it to my tube and cheek.

"I took painkillers, Rose." My voice was barely above a whisper, and when I looked up at her, I squinted my eyes when the sun started shining brightly onto my face.

Rose chewed the inside of her cheek and nodded, "I know." She said softly and stuffed away the first-aid kit, while I was watching her. When she returned, her slim fingers buttoned up my sleep blouse. It made me shiver, but I tried to hide it, telling myself it wasn't something intimate. I took a deep breath and broke my attention, staring at the opposite direction.

With my gaze onto the wall, slowly but surely faces started to appear onto the white painting. Without having the chance to do anything about it, the dark faces gazed at me with a cold expression, coming closer and closer. Anxiety caught up in my throat, I let out a strangled sound when I blinked rapidly and they didn't leave. It only caused them to come closer each time I opened my eyes again. "Leave me alone.." I whimpered, tried to move my arms but they were too heavy, causing them to fall onto my face instead.

"Do you want me to leave you alone?" Rose's eyebrows furrowed, her eyes narrowed as she gazed at my face.

Sweat coated my body, I tried to swallow when a hazy feeling fell over me. "No, no, stay. Look over there, Rose. It's.. faces, everywhere." I moved to the edge of my bed, my breathing becoming erratic. With the haze fogging up my mind, I tried to reach for Rose's hand. I stared at the dark faces in front of me, feeling my heart beating extremely fast as they came even closer to my bed, spreading all around the ceiling like the clouds on a rainy day, "Rose.. Rose, get away from here!"

"Zayn, stop it. What are you doing?" Rose sounded nervous. She didn't understand me because she didn't see it. I wanted to protect her, I needed to protect her.

"Look at it Rose, they're coming. Oh no.." I gulped, "It's death.. I'm going to die, I'm going to die, I'm going to die." I kept repeating, moving back and forth with my upper body while covering my eyes.

Rose reached for my other hand, placed her fingers underneath my chin as she gently pushed my face towards her, "Listen to me. You're hallucinating. You have a fever, it's not true. You're not going to die, those faces aren't real, okay?"

"Rose.. they're coming, it's okay I promise. I'm going to die, I'm going to die, I'm-"

Rose cut me off, "Zayn.." And just now I noticed that she had tears in her eyes. One slipped and rolled down her cheek.

I felt hurt and confused. "Rose.." I breathed out. "Don't cry.. you're too beautiful to cry." I said without thinking straight. I brought my shaky finger up to her cheek and brushed her tear off, looking at her in concern. "Hey.. what's wrong?"

Rose sat down on my bed and covered her face with her hands, "You shouldn't say things like that."

I blinked in confusion. I didn't know what I said. I rubbed my eyes and sat closer to her. "I slept Rose.. I didn't say anything."

She looked at me in confusion, "You just said.. don't you remember what you just did?"

I frowned, then felt extremely nervous, "What did I do? Did I hurt you?"

Rose shook her head, "Look at that wall." She pointed to the wall behind us and I looked at it. "What do you see?"

"It's back to.. to being white."

She frowned then shook her head, sighing deeply and looking away from me.

"Sorry.." I whispered, not sure why as I wasn't sure what I had done.

The same old exhaustion came over to me and without thinking straight, I laid down on Rose's lap with my head and fell asleep a few seconds later.