Thank you, utterflop, for writing this whole chapter. I appreciate you

Josh gets lost in his thoughts as he stands in front of the stove, hot steam rising up to the ceiling as his hand lightly moves the pan back and forth without any expression. His glazed chicken roasting there with potatoes because Josh couldn't find another pan in Tyler's kitchen. The boy didn't want to bother the man, his heart jumps with fear just thinking about talking to him. He manages to scavenge some chicken from the freezer, thank god the man has a cabinet full of spices. For a man who doesn't cook, Tyler has an impressive collection of various spices. Josh prays that the meal turns out good, he doesn't have a recipe right in front of his nose, he cooks the chicken as he remembers. He does everything carefully, making sure not to overload the spices. The curly-headed boy is sure that it turns out great. If not, he can add more spices later.

The plates clatter quietly as Josh takes them out of the cupboards. He washes them carefully, not wanting to break them since that would be highly unfortunate. The boy has a wrinkle carving his forehead as he carefully arranges the food in the small white platter. Josh doesn't want any oil dripping down the edge or a piece of potato falling out. Finally, when the chicken and the potatoes are done, he carefully plops a spoonful of his favourite salad.  The boy isn't sure if Tyler likes salad. Usually, this wouldn't be that big of a deal, Tyler could just not eat the veggies but Josh knows how the older man reacts to a minor inconvenience. It is like a game with only two outcomes. Tyler's gonna snap or not react at all. Josh doesn't want to risk it.

The kitchen fills with cooking fumes and smells from the various spices. Josh tries opening the kitchen window a bit but the handle wouldn't budge. He twists it and pulls it, finally, he gives up. The window is open just a bit, Josh stands close to it to breathe fresh air. He watches the clouds pass by in the dark sky, it's hypnotic. The boy senses a presence enter the kitchen and before he could react, two strong arms wrap around his waist. Josh's nostrils inhale the sweet smell, the older man smells of lavender and cigarette smoke. Not a very pleasant combination.

"I'm hungry," Tyler rumbles, his face pressing up against Josh's sensitive neck

"I was just about to call you," the boy answers quietly "It's ready."

"Good," the older man lets out a breathy sigh before letting go of the boy. Josh moves away thinking that it's over when Tyler spins him around and presses him against the wall. Josh's legs shake but he tries not to show that he's afraid of the man. Tyler's eyelids lower, the boy knows that the man is about to lean in for a kiss. Joshua doesn't resist when Tyler's lips press against his. There's a spark of protest in his body language but it's soon smothered to extinction as Tyler's lips continue moving against Josh's. There's nothing normal about it, there's nothing normal about them, kissing in the kitchen. And yet, Josh doesn't let out a squeak, his palms rest calmly against Tyler's chest. Josh's cheeks are rosy and warm, his eyelashes flutter open once the kiss is over and he feels something strange. He's not sure of it yet.

"Let's go eat," Tyler whispers pulling away

Joshua nods silently and grabs the two plates. He quickly sets them down on the small, circular dining table. Tyler helps him out with the cutlery and drinks. The older man sets a bottle of white chardonnay wine on the table and two glasses. Josh eyes the bottle down before sitting down.

"I don't drink," Josh says softly, not wanting to upset the man

"It's a special occasion," Tyler slides his chair closer

"Oh?" Josh is intrigued "How so?"

"Every occasion with you is special," Tyler states, clearing his throat awkwardly after saying that.  The older man's eyes dart away like he's embarrassed. Josh doesn't know if he should smile like an idiot or keep himself poised. It's too late anyway, the younger boy feels his lips twitch upwards. Josh sees Tyler's reddened face, it feels like one of their first dates although is so far from that. It's technically a date, it's just that Josh is kidnapped and Tyler is a borderline psycho.

Josh doesn't know what to answer to Tyler so he stays silent, he waits for the man to pick up his fork and knife. Tyler pours the wine into Josh's glass first, filling his almost to the top. Josh digs into the food at the same time as Tyler does, not wanting to appear rude. Tyler inspects the chicken before putting it into his mouth. Josh tries not to stare at how the man eats. He just stuffs his face with potatoes, barely touching the chicken.

"It's good," Tyler nods with content "Try it, it's good."

"I don't like meat that much," Josh murmurs before picking up a piece of chicken and putting it into his mouth "It's a... A bit dry."

"The sauce saves it," Tyler shugs as he dips his piece into the sauce

"But then you need a lot of it," Josh sighs

"Well, it's good that you made plenty then," Tyler smiles "It's good, don't worry about it."

Josh breathes irregularly, he tries to chew carefully and not choke. Tyler's glass is almost empty while Josh had barely touched his. He takes a sip not wanting to be rude. Tyler pours some more into his glass, The younger boy watches the glass quickly empty.

"Tyler-" Josh's soft hand grips the man's wrist as he's about to pour himself the third glass "Enough."

The man's jaw tenses a bit, he sets the bottle down and nods, his mood changing drastically. He's not enraged or pissed off. Tyler's just... Sad. A gloomy cloud hangs above the man, he eyes down the almost empty bottle with pained eyes and softly pushes it aside.

"Okay," he nods "Thank you for the meal."

The older man quickly rises up, grabbing his plate in the process. Joshua stands up as well, worry in his eyes.

"You didn't finish it," Josh states, eyeing down the chicken drowned in the sauce "It's bad, isn't it?"

"No, it's not," Tyler's head shake vigorously "It's really good I just can't be around you anymore."

"Oh," Josh takes a small step backward, he feels his chest is pressed down by an invisible force. He tries controlling the tremor that's taken over his body.

"I'm sorry," Tyler slowly steps forward, bringing his plate to the sink. Josh watches the man clean up with tears almost spilling down his eyes.

The man comes back to the kitchen almost immediately after exiting it, Joshua is prepared for whatever Tyler's about to do to him. The man strides forward, cupping the boy's cheeks and kissing him immediately.

"I'm sorry," he whispers in between the kisses "I'm sorry, I don't want to hurt you anymore."

The man squeezes the boy tightly but not too tight. Just tight enough for him to feel secure in Tyler's arms. Josh doesn't resist this time either, he gladly accepts Tyler's kisses and even leans in himself when the man pulls away.

"I just-" Tyler shakes, his hands tremble as he grips Josh's waist "I can't be around you, I can't- I'll hurt you, I know I will and I don't want to but I just can't fucking help it."

"Tyler it's okay," Joshua wipes the man's tears away with his sleeve "You won't hurt me."

"You don't know that," the man shakes his head vigorously yet again "Please just take the keys..."

Tyler digs his hand into his pocket for his keys. Josh's breath gets caught in his throat seeing the metal bundle.

"Take the keys, take my car and go-" the man's breaths are ragged "Please-"

"Tyler, you're ill," Josh states, his shaking hands coming up to cradle the man's heavy head in his palms

The older man blinks rapidly, a few more tears escape his eyes and roll down his sunken cheeks.

"If I left you would just find me again," Josh smiles weakly

The boy leans in for a kiss, the man shakes his head at first but then finally gives in. He picks the boy up and easily carries him to the living room where they both settle on the couch. Josh's fingers ease through the man's short dark hair, Tyler's hand roam freely on Josh's waist, fingers carefully dipping under his shirt. Joshua doesn't mind it, as long as the man doesn't cross the line. Josh doesn't know where the line is.

When the man pins him down below him, Josh still doesn't know where the line should be, maybe he doesn't want the line to exist in the first place. Tyler sinks down, pressing the boy down with his weight. The curly-haired boy chuckles into the kiss, bringing a smile to the man's face as well.

"I have to go," Tyler moves his lips away from Josh's

"Where?" The boy questions

"Work," Tyler rises from the couch "Come on,"

The boy slowly stands up, Tyler grabs his hand and proceeds to lead him back to his room. Josh has the courage to protest. He tugs at the man's sleeve in order to stop, Tyler's eyes shift for a second but there are not enough flames for him to snap.

"What?" Tyler yaps, almost pissed off

"I don't want to be in my room all day," Joshua whines

"I have to lock you up,"

"Please," Joshua tugs at Tyler's sleeve more "Please, I won't run away, I promise."

"What are you gonna do then?"

Joshua looks around the room, noticing a few cobwebs in the dusty corner.

"I can clean," he suggests "Please, TyTy, don't lock me in my room."

The man's breathing shallows as the pet name slip from the boy's lips. He places a tender kiss on the boy's pale forehead and smiles.

"Alright," Tyler gives in easily "The supplies are in the hall, in the closet next to the kitchen."

Joshua nods, pecking Tyler's nose afterward to soften him even more. Tyler kisses the curly-haired boy back, not able to resist the temptation.

"I'm gonna be late," Tyler finally manages to move his lips away from Josh's

"But you drank," Joshua suddenly remembers how he had to take the wine away from the man "Are you gonna drive?"

"I'll be alright,"

"No, you can't-"

"I said-" Tyler's voice lowers "I'm gonna be fine."

Joshua steps away not wanting to anger the man anymore. Tyler gives him one last peck before heading to his bedroom to change. When Tyler steps through the front door Josh is already gathering the items he'll use to clean. He has a small rainbow duster in hands and a cute little apron he had found in his room. He's on his knees, scrubbing a weird reddish spot on the floor in the hallway. Tyler bites his lip as he walks past, his gaze lingering on Josh's rear. Joshua playfully tosses a sponge the man's way, Tyler dodges it smiling.

"I'm heading out," Tyler announces "I'll be back at nine."

Josh hears the front door click, Tyler twists the key two times. Joshua grabs his duster and heads out to the living room. Tyler's house is huge and he has about six hours to clean it. Joshua quickly sets up a small radio in the living room to keep his company and begins to clean.