Guilt
A/N. Hey guys! New update. Hope you guys enjoy this update. Just a warning, there is mention of blood in this chapter, but only brief. And just look at that face! You can't help but feel for him. Okay, I'm done. Read on! -Anna
Y/n- Your name
N/n- Nickname
E/c- Eye color
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The crew cheered (made fart cheer in Mr. Snuff's situation) up at Captain Amelia, who stood proudly at the wheel. Morph turned back to his blobby self, but soon after turned into a pink puddle on the ground.
"Captain! That-oh, my goodness. That was-that was absolutely-that was the most-" Delbert stuttered as he untangled himself from a heap of ropes.
"Oh, tish-tosh," Amelia said as she looked through a astronomical instrument. "Actually, Doctor, your astronomical advice was most helpful."
"Well, uh, uh-thank you. Thank you very much," Delbert replied with a shocked expression. "Well, I have a lot of help to offer anatomically-amanamonically-astronomically." He facepalmed.
"Well, I must congratulate you, Mr. Silver," Amelia said as she went down to where the crew was. "It seems your cabin boy and girl did a bang-up job with those lifelines and sails."
Silver, Jim, and you shoved each other back and forth playfully, chuckling.
"All hands accounted for, Mr. Arrow?" Amelia asked her first officer.
His voice didn't reply. You and everyone else looked around for the rock-like being, but nobody could see him.
"Mr. Arrow?" Amelia called again.
A familiar hissing reached your ears as Scroop strode towards the captain with a sorrowful look. "I'm afraid Mr. Arrow has been lost." He handed Amelia Arrow's hat. "His lifeline was not secured."
Everyone looked at Jim.
"No, I checked them all." Jim pushed past some crew members to get to the lifelines, but stopped in his tracks once he saw the lone handle without a rope tied to it. "I-I did. I checked them all. They were secure. I swear."
You frowned and furrowed your eyebrows. Jim didn't like taking orders, but when it came to lives, he would take them seriously. You knew that he was being serious, and nobody believed him but you. He would never intentionally let someone die. Arrow wasn't even one of the people Jim disliked.
With a somber look, Amelia began to speak. "Mr. Arrow was a..." She cleared her throat. "Fine spacer...finer than most of us could ever hope to be. But he knew the risks, as do well all. Resume your posts. We carry on."
Amelia retreated-most likely to her stateroom-and the crew did as she ordered. Jim looked around, almost with a scared look. As you reached out to him, he ran off. Everything finally started to set in, and everything started to hurt. Physically and emotionally. You looked down at your leg where the physical pain was coming from, and saw a line of blood slowly flowing down. You remembered the rock that scrapped you during the supernova.
You knew Jim would need some time to calm down and gather himself. You also knew that he was blaming himself for Arrow's death. But it couldn't have been his fault. You found out that your emotional pain came from Arrow's death. He was a good man.
Maybe a rock cut the rope? you thought.
As you wrapped up your wound (luckily, it wasn't too deep of a cut), you tried to think of any other possibilities for why Arrow's lifeline didn't support him. You couldn't come up with anything, but you still didn't blame Jim. Speaking of him, you found Jim sitting on the rigging as the Legacy slowly drifted through some kind of blue cosmos. As quietly as you could, you climbed up the rigging and sat down next to him. Jim didn't look your way as he fidgeted with a small piece of rope.
Taking your spyglass off of your belt, you held it out for Jim. He glanced at it in the corner of his eye, and slowly took it. You managed to smile a bit as Jim put his eye up to the spyglass.
You let him play around with it for a bit before asking, "What do you see?"
Jim was silent for a bit as he looked through the spyglass, and then answered, "I see exactly what I'm supposed to. The blue cosmos we're floating through."
"It's still doing that?" you muttered to yourself. "Let me see."
Jim handed you back your spyglass, and you looked through it. Just like Jim said, you could see the starry blue space the Legacy was traveling through. You expanded the spyglass, and you suddenly saw a small trading ship drifting somewhere in the blue.
Deciding to deal with it later, you put your spyglass on your belt and started to talk to Jim. "I don't blame you. It wasn't your fault, Jim."
Jim scoffed. "Yeah right. I was in charge of the lifelines. Who else's fault could it be?"
"Jim, I know you checked the lines. You saved me from falling into the black hole," you told him.
"Even so, I wasn't able to save Arrow," Jim said with a frown.
You moved closer to him, but winced as your injured leg brushed against the rough rope.
Jim looked down at your leg. "What happened?"
You shifted in your spot. "During one of the fiery blasts, a rock scraped me."
Jim groaned, and ran a hand through his hair. "I-I'm sorry, Y/n. I must have really been off during the supernova."
You frowned. "You couldn't have done anything."
"Yes, I could have," Jim said seriously, staring intently into your e/c eyes. "Y/n, you're my...my best friend. I could have-should have-protected you."
Your heart sank a bit at the best friend title. If only he knew. "You can't blame yourself for everything, Jim."
"I can blame myself for everything I've done, and you know I've done a lot," Jim said, playing with the rope again.
You were quiet. He wouldn't listen to you. His self guilt was eating him up. He would have made sure that everyone's lifeline was secured in that situation. You still had no explanation for how Arrow's lifeline didn't support him. Silver soon came onto the deck, and went over to the rigging you and Jim were sitting on.
Leaning against the rail with a pipe in his hand, Silver said, "It weren't your fault, you know."
"That's what I keep telling him," you said to Silver.
Jim just let out a sigh, not looking at him.
"Why, half the crew would be spinning in that black abyss-" Silver tried.
Jim angrily threw the piece of rope he was holding out into space, and jumped down onto the rail with you following. "Look, don't you get it?" He got up into Silver's space. "I screwed up! For two seconds, I thought that maybe I could do something right, but-" Jim ran his hands through his hair, and let out a frustrated shout. He leaned against the mast, looking away from you and Silver, and let out another sigh. "I just...Just forget it. Forget it."
Silver softly grabbed Jim's shoulder, and turned him to face you and Silver. Tears were brimming Jim's eyes. He looked so hopeless and vulnerable. You hadn't seen him cry, or even look like that since his dad left.
You couldn't help but bring Jim into a tight hug. "You don't always do everything wrong, Jim, and you have done something right."
You made your way into my heart, you thought, but didn't say that out loud.
"Now, you listen to me, James Hawkins," Silver said sternly, but in a kind manner. "You got the makings of greatness in you, but you gotta take the helm and chart your own course. Stick to it, no matter the squalls. And when the time comes, you get the chance to really test the cut of your sails and show what you're made of, well, I hope I'm there catching some of the light coming off you that day."
Silver looked at you then. "And, Y/n, there's no doubt that you'll be with him, sharing that light. With you keeping this lad in check and your trusty spyglass with you, you two are going to travel the universe, and achieve great things. I have no doubt about it."
That alone made tears come to your eyes. Sniffing, Jim plonked his head onto Silver's stomach. You formed a watery smile on your lips, as Silver stood stiff for a moment before patting Jim on the back.
"There, there. Lad, it's alright, Jimbo," Silver said and hugged Jim back. "It's alright."
You smiled a real smile at the sight of the two boys having their moment. You could tell Jim took what Silver said to heart. Jim probably saw Silver as a surrogate father, and you wouldn't blame him for that. Silver was becoming like that for you as well. His skill teachings weren't so bad anymore. As quietly as you could, you limped away from the two to go below deck.
Meanwhile, Silver softly pushed Jim away from the hug. "Now, Jim, I, um...I best be getting about my watch, and you best be getting some shut-eye."
Silver gently pushed Jim towards the stairs.
Before Jim went down the stairs, Silver called out to him. "And Jimbo, you might want to tell N/n about your feelings."
"What? What feelings?" Jim asked with a shocked face, but not because of Silver's statement.
Silver let out a small chuckle. "Ah, don't be acting like I haven't noticed how the two of you act together. You're practically a couple already!"
"I don't know what you're talking about," Jim said with a stubborn frown.
Morph turned into a red heart, and made it look like he was beating above Jim's head. Jim scoffed and swatted at Morph, but Silver could see a ghost of a smile on the boy's face.
"I think I do, Jimbo," Silver said with a kind smile. "You might want to tell her before it's too late. I've know too many men who were too late to tell the girl."
Jim was quiet as his eyes were stuck on the floor. Morph shapeshifted into a mini version of you, and leaned down to kiss Jim on his cheek. A light blush appeared on his cheek.
"...I don't know...Maybe," Jim said as he rubbed the back of his neck. "I'll think about it."
Jim held a meaningful smile at Silver, and the cyborg lifted his hand up in a goodbye. Jim descended down the stairs, and went to where the crew and you were sleeping in the hammocks. You were already asleep in your hammock that was next to Jim's, a hand hanging out of your hammock as you softly snored.
Once Jim got into his hammock, he gently took your hand that was hanging out and gently rubbed his thumb over the top of your hand. "Maybe one day..."
A/N. Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! This was actually supposed to be published yesterday, but it was my birthday so that took up all my time. But it's finally out now! Sorry if the little part with Jim and Silver talking about Jim's feelings was weird and or cheesy. I am trying my best to write fluffy slash romantic stuff. Not used to writing that kind of stuff, but I'm trying! Anyway, hope you all enjoyed. Comment and vote! Bye -Anna
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