Chapter Thirty-two

I knew that what I was going through right now was just too simple and very light compared to what a lot of people had been going through everyday, most importantly at this very moment, compared to what my sister had been going through since she found out about her unexpected pregnancy.

And I wasn't there with her 'cause I was busy spoiling my own heart.

It was a necessity in my case 'cause my heart had been ignored for a longest time, my stupidity and unawareness brought it to just spilling all its content all for the only man it had always desired—as ever.

Jimin was right, a baby was a blessing but only if it was expected.

Napakabata pa ng Ate ko, anong alam niya sa pagiging ina? She was still studying and still too unknowledgeable about what was entailed of being a mother, of all this, how could she handle everything? Isa pa, hindi ko rin magawang imagine-in si Ate na may anak na.

Letting my pink tinted lips lightly pull up for a small smile, I lovingly caressed my sister's soft and smooth wrist as my shaking fingers softly touched the hard but smooth metallic bangle around, its coldness immediately creeping within my skin.

Parang hinahaplos ang puso ko dahil sa mga letrang naka-ukit doon, masaya para sa Ate ko.

'My Milan'

I could afford my father ignoring me, I could afford him disregarding me already and making me feel how he couldn't be a father to me anymore for as long as he made my sister happy. Kahit na wala ako noong araw na ibinigay ni Daddy kay Ate Milan ang bangle na ito bilang graduation gift ay nai-imagine ko na ang masayang mukha ni Ate. And it was enough, it was all enough for me to forgive my father all over again for what he did to me and for what he still planned to do.

Buong gabi akong umiyak kagabi, paggising ko kaninang umaga ay halos hindi ko na makilala ang sarili ko dahil sa pamumugto ng mga mata ko. They were swollen, red and puffy. At hindi pa ako natapos doon dahil buong araw kong ka-text si Jimin, I had been crying all day desperately wanting him to get me and take me away but he wasn't having any of it.

From: Get Lost
it'll be just a simple dinner, Hannan

kailangan kong magpa-goodshot kay Tito Feb

lets follow him for now hm

just until the dinner is over

To Get Lost:
WJY ARE YOU SO CVALM?!

you know I cant disobey him

what if it won't be just a simple dinner?

Sinabi niyang huwag akong mag-alala at magtiwala lang sa kaniya. Sinabi rin niya sa aking handa siyang sunduin ako kung gusto ko nang umalis sa dinner na magaganap ngayong gabi, sinabi niyang handa siyang ilayo ako kahit na si Daddy pa ang makalaban niya.

Handa siya, kaya kailangan ko rin maging handa.

Get Lost:
Jungkook might like you

hell, who wouldnt like you?

its still very clear to me all the assholes at school obviously having an eye for you

but Im still hoping Jungkook will nvr do anythng that will ruin us

dont worry, Ill try to talk to him before the dinner

At sana, sana tama siya na mas mahalaga kay Jungkook ang pagkakaibigan nila kaysa sa kung anumang nararamdaman nito sa akin.

He couldn't love me that fast! Hindi puwedeng matapos ang mga pagbabangayan namin at hindi maayos na pakikitungo namin sa isa't isa ay bigla na lang siyang mahuhulog sa akin at sa hindi pa kagandahang timing.

Just how could he really fall for me easily?

"He only wants what's best for you, S." Ang malambot na boses ni Ate Milan ang nagpatigil sa takbo ng isipan ko at sa mga daliri ko sa paghaplos sa bangle na suot niya saka ako dahan-dahang nag-angat ng tingin para lang makita ang maliit ngunit napakagandang ngiti niya.

People would seriously have second thoughts about us being sisters. Kuhang-kuha kasi ni Ate Milan ang foreign features ng Mommy niya, the eyes, the nose, the lips even the beautiful freckles! Mas maputi ako sa kaniya, ako nga iyong mabilis mamula sa aming dalawa pero dahil siguro Greek ang Mommy niya kaya may natural freckles siya. Isa iyon sa mga bagay na kinaiinggitan ko kay Ate Milan, gustong-gusto ko kasi talagang magka-freckles.

She was wearing a maroon sweetheart top jumpsuit as her brown wavy hair was in a bigger curls than the usual, too casual for the dinner we would be attending. She was very beautiful but her makeup wouldn't hide from me how her eyes were also swollen, just like mine, 'cause like me, she had also been crying. She must have also been crying in her room while I was crying in my room.

Magkaiba kami ng dahilan pero pareho kaming nasasaktan at wala kami sa tabi ng isa't isa.

"He doesn't know what's best for us, Ate M." 'Cause if he did, then he wouldn't even think of trying to sell me off the Jeon Family, hindi niya ipipilit sa akin ang gusto niya at iisipin niya ang nararamdaman ko. He wouldn't force me to date Jungkook all for business 'cause even if he didn't say it, I knew it was about business.

Wala na akong ibang maisip na reason para ipilit niya sa akin si Jungkook kung hindi ang negosyo lang, at halata namang mas malaking pangalan ang JJG kaysa sa U-Co.

Our banking company was nothing compare to the ground of companies under the Jeon surname. They were known in different fields of business, magiging advantage nga naman ng U-Co. kung sakali mang maididikit ito sa JJG.

Umiling ako saka itinuon na ang atensyon ko pabalik sa salamin ng dressing table ko, pinagmamasdan ang kabuuan ko para sa dinner—simple dinner na magaganap ngayong gabi.

A simple ruby one-piece off-shoulder dress for a simple dinner, I just let my long hair hanging behind my back and my bare neck was prettily decorated with a white gold necklace with a ruby stone pendant, also a pair of ruby earrings were sparkling in my earlobes.

Simple dinner, imbis na umiyak nang umiyak para sa mga mangyayari ngayong gabi sa dinner na dadaluhan namin ay itinatak ko na lang sa isipan ko ang sinabi ni Jimin. Simple dinner, it wouldn't kill me. Kakain lang kami, siguro may kaunting usapan pero iyon lang. Iyon lang ang dapat na mangyari.

"I've always known how you hate Kookie, S, but I've never expected you to ever like Jimin as a love interest. You're his best friend, you know what kind of a man he is…" Bumuntong-hininga si Ate Milan nang magtama ang mga mata namin sa salamin kaya napatigil siya. Nakita niya malamang mula sa mga mata ko na hindi ko gustong marinig pa ang mga sasabihin niya tungkol kay Jimin.

Ayaw kong marinig mula mismo sa bibig niya na katulad ni Daddy, hindi niya rin gusto si Jimin para sa akin. Kilala ko si Jimin, at alam kong kailanman, hindi niya ako magagawang saktan. That the loyal man could always hurt me but I was damn sure, he would always choose not to.

"Yes, I know, Ate M. You also know how he treasures me so much. You know how he can always set aside everything just for me. Sana hindi mo iyon nakakalimutan dahil lang si Jungkook ang gusto mo para sa akin," sabi ko, pinipilit na hindi pumiyok kahit na nagbabara na ang lalamunan ko.

Alam niya, kilala niya si Jimin. She might have known the bad side of him, but she also knew his soft side for me. Alam ni Ate na higit sa lahat, si Jimin ang pinakahuling taong maiisipan akong saktan.

Alam niya at masakit na mas pinipinili niyang magbulag-bulagan dahil lang sa bad side ni Jimin. She chose to forget the good and only acknowledged the bad side, and it hurt, my heart was hurting for the love of my life.

Just why they didn't like him for me? He was my precious.

"S, don't make me c-cry…"

Mabilis akong humarap sa kaniya at ngumuso, matalim ko siyang tinitigan para hindi niya hayaang malaglag ang mga luhang mabilis na namuo sa mga mata niya. She was naturally soft but she wasn't a crybaby, dulot ito ng pagbubuntis niya!

"That wasn't supposed to make you cry, Ate! Your makeup, think about it!" saway ko sa kaniya, mabilis akong dumampot ng tissue sa tissue box na nasa dressing table ko saka ko hinawakan ang mukha niya.

"J-Just make sure Jimin won't ever hurt you. Only if you'd somehow consider Kook—"

"Then cry, cry all you want! Cry till you stop pushing me to Jungkook," inis kong sabi saka marahang pinunasan ang mga pisngi niya gamit ang tissue.

"Masisira ang m-makeup ko…" She sniffed but she managed to hold back her tears.

"Your baby Daddy will be there later, Ate M. Kapag umiyak ka ay mahahalata ni Kuya Hoseok at pagagalitan ako."

And I believed, that guy still owed me a punch on his face.

Pinag-retouch na lang niya ako ng makeup niya at nang matapos kami ay saktong may kumatok sa pinto ng kuwarto ko, hindi na namin pa kailangang sumagot dahil bumukas na ito at iniluwa ang imahe ni yaya Mia.

The pretty maid shyly stood by the door, staring at us in awe with her painted lips that I smiled about. I was happy that she was using pretty good the lip tint I gave her. She really looked pretty!

"Miss Hannan at Miss Milan, hinihintay na po kayo ng Daddy niyo. Aalis na raw po kayo."

Truthfully, Daddy was already waiting for us inside the car that would bring us to the Jeon Household, he handsomely sat at the corner end of the front seat while staring intently at us. Kaswal lang din ang suot niya, malayo sa nakaka-intimidate niyang suot kapag pumapasok siya sa office.

A pair of white shirt and blue jeans down his comfortable loaf shoes. Maayos na nakasabit sa neckline ang rayban niya at tanging isang itim na relo ang palamuti sa kamay. Ang buhok ay maayos ding nasuklay, ipinapakita ang guwapo ngunit suplado niyang mukha.

Hinayaan kong mauna si Ate Milan sa loob saka ako sumunod, bumuntong-hininga ako nang maisara na ni Manong Selmon ang pinto dahil siya ang magmamaneho sa amin. He was my driver since ako lang naman ang nangangailangan ng driver but he also drove for all of us if needed.

It was a silent, awkward and agonizing ride all the way, walang umiimik sa amin at ang tanging maririnig lang ay ang banayad na ugong ng sasakyan.

Daddy and Ate Milan were both occupied by their phones while I just busied myself looking out of the window, watching the busy road as structure by structure passed my vision and people in the street ridiculously impressed me. They walked and walked, all caught up with their own lives as I also struggled with mine.

Minsan kapag nagkakaroon ako ng mga ganitong pagkakataon para mag-isip, madalas kong naiisip kung paanong iba-iba ang buhay ng mga tao.

Why I was here and why were they there? Why was I me and why were they them? Why I was like this and why were they like that? Most importantly, what were they feeling? So many questions but if contemplated deeply, I was actually very lucky compared to those people who didn't have home, foods and clothes to wear.

Sa isiping iyon, kahit papaano ay gumaan ang loob. Well, just until our car drove in a gateway of a private property named 'Jeon Estate'.

Saglit akong pinalubag ng magagandang tanawing nadadaanan namin, Jeon Estate had a beautiful and refreshing greenery fields, sa magkabilang gilid ay may mga matatayog at nagkakapalang grupo ng mga puno na nagsisilbing munting kagubatan sa loob ng lupain ng mga Jeon. Every one hundred meters ay may mga road signs na nagsasabi kung ilang metro na lang ang layo namin sa mismong Jeon Mansion.

Jeon's land property was undeniably very big, parehong nasa The Park Villages ang Urduja Mansion at Park Mansion at may mga sariling lupain rin pero hindi biro ang kinalulugaran ng Jeon Mansion.

This property must be just one of the lands owned by the Jeons.

'500 meters to Jeon Mansion'

Hinabol ko ng tingin ang road sign na iyon hanggang sa mawala ito sa paningin ko at nang humarap ako ay nakita ko ang tinutukoy na Jeon Mansion.

It stood elegantly and very welcoming for any visitors inside the Jeon Estate, our service car seemed too small as I gawked at its high and very classy structure. Purong puti ang kulay nito at nai-imagine ko na ang dami ng mga silid na mayroon ito dahil sa mga bintanang tanaw mula rito sa labas.

No doubt why Daddy preferred Jeon Family over Park Family, no doubt why he was very eager to match me with one of the Jeon heirs, because they were undeniably very rich, this mansion was one strong evidence how this family was living such a luxurious life.

JJG was a group of many subsidiaries in different industries while Park Realty Corporation was a company only known in lands and properties.

Car quickly attended by men in all white suit, our entrance greeted by three neat looking ladies in all white clothes and two formal looking old men ushered us towards the main living room. Si Daddy ang nasa unahan habang tahimik at pormal na nakasunod sa dalawang lalaki at kami naman ni Ate Milan ang nasa likod.

Kung hindi ko lang kilala si Jungkook, baka nagsisi na ako sa mga pang-aaway ko sa kaniya dahil hindi ko inaakalang sa ganitong lugar siya lumaki. I might be a young mistress at our mansion, but he surely was a Prince in this manor. At hindi ko alam kung nababagay ba ako para sa kaniya.

"Never knew Kookie really live in this kind of house, S. He looks too normal at school, napaka-humble…" I heard Ate Milan's whisper voice from behind me as I felt her gently hook her arm around mine.

"Humble? He's a jerk, Ate. Palibhasa kasi maayos siya makitungo sa'yo. Don't forget how he always gets under my skin, inaaway niya ako at madalas inisin," pabalya kong sabi dahil nahihimigan ko na namang inirereto niya sa akin si Jungkook.

Fine, I would damn admit that he was handsome. Hindi naman siya mahirap mahalin… siguro. Sa tingin ko nga ay may pag-asa sana kaming maging magkaibigan pero hindi na ngayong may nararamdaman siya sa akin at hindi siya ang gusto ko.

He was not so bad, he was actually a good catch… well, for any other girls out there 'cause for me, I already got my own good catch.

"Because he likes you! Nagpapapansin sa'yo iyong tao and you're too dense and stupid to realize it!" Muli siyang bumulong pero sa puntong ito ay medyo malakas na kaya bahagya kaming nilingon ni Daddy. His eyes immediately rolling to hold mine, but I quickly looked away.

I deeply sighed and just shut my mouth. Ibinalik din agad niya ang atensyon sa harap nang lumiko na kami sa isang pasilyo.

Masyadong tahimik ang buong bahay, tanging ang mga yapak lang namin ang maririnig. Ang disenyo ng loob ay purong puti katulad ng kulay nito sa labas, may mga nagagagandahang kuwadrado sa bawat dingding at mga nagkikintabang muwebles sa iba't ibang bahagi ng bahay.

The floor was of a soft magenta carpet all from the main door, and the ceiling was filled with small chandeliers bringing bright light around the whole house.

I thought I was just trying to entertain myself with the house's over all appearance, taking myself to forget what we came here for 'cause as much as I thought that it would be just a simple dinner, my heart had been beating so fast and loud, wanting me to acknowledge every bit of what was ahead.

Hindi mapalagay ang puso ko, lalo na at alam ko kung anong mangyayari ngayon.

Jimin was wrong! I couldn't be well assured! I couldn't act like what was going to happen was just a simple dinner like what he said! I couldn't trust myself! I trusted him so much, that if only he was here, I knew to myself that I would never fvck up but he was not here!

Walang akong tiwala sa sarili ko, mahina ako pagdating kay Daddy. I might hate him but I was still, no doubt, that same old submissive girl that would always follow everything he said. Hindi ko maipapangakong magagawa kong suwayin si Daddy sa mga gusto niyang mangyari ngayon. And if whatever it was would regard my relationship with Jimin, I couldn't guarantee that I could be able to stand for it and to fight for it.

I was scared!

"This way to the main living room, Sir and Madame," said by one of the men, the older one wearing spectacles and very cold looking.

I knew that the moment the formal usher led us to the direction of the living room, it was already too late for my cowardice. It was either a dead end for the long lost love I just found or a getaway to its weaknesses and into its rise.

I hoped it was the latter though, I hoped, only I could hope.

A lot of people, mostly unfamiliar, met us when we finally turned to the last corner. It revealed a wide and vast hall, somewhere was the setup of long couches surrounding a center table where glasses with wines were settled. Mabilis naming nakuha ang atensyon ng mga taong iyon, lahat ay halos nasa kani-kanilang mga kaswal na kasuotan at ayos na para bang ang ipinunta nila rito ay hindi tungkol sa negosyo kaya bahagya kong pinakalmang muli ang kanina pang hindi mapalagay kong kalooban.

Idagdag pa nang makita ko ang pamilyar na mga mukha nina Kuya Jin, Kuya Namjoon, Kuya Hoseok at Taehyung. The first two older men just gawked at us while Kuya Hoseok instantly stood up to meet us and Taehyung just pouted, staring sleepily at me.

They were all here…

Sino na lang ang puwedeng maka-usap ni Jimin ngayon sa kanila? Si Kuya Yoongi?

The cold guy was too lazy for dramas, I didn't know if he could still store time for Jimin after all the he found out about us but I hoped, I really hoped, he wouldn't deprive Jimin the comfort and the support when most of them were here for Jungkook.

My heart choked me again for that fact, they were all here for Jungkook when in fact, Jimin was also their friend.

Pinigilan ko ang lumingon kay Ate Milan nang agad na nagtungo si Kuya Hoseok sa kaniya, nakarinig na lang ako ng hagikgik na nakapagpa-ikot ng mga mata ko.

Sure, good for you, lovelies.

Daddy was immediately swarmed by those unfamiliar people, they were fast as they managed to drag my father toward their own crowd and God knew what they were talking about now. Si Tito Rolly at ang parents ni Kuya Hoseok lang yata ang nakilala ko sa mga taong iyon.

Everything was too casual as if we had been doing this ever since. Ni hindi ko alam kung kilala na ba ni Daddy ang mga taong iyon, kung na-meet na ba niya ang mga ito sa ilang business ventures or conventions kaya parang komportable na agad ang mga ito.

I actually expected a very formal and awkward introduction 'cause I hadn't personally met those people yet! Ni hindi ko pa formally na-mi-meet ang parents ng kahit na sino sa BTS maliban kay Jimin at Kuya Hoseok. I didn't even know who were the hosts of this dinner from the crowd of those older people, even Jungkook was not in sight. Hindi ko rin alam kung pinagaan ba noon ang loob ko o mas pinabigat lang, kinakabahan talaga ako sa mga mangyayari ngayong gabi.

"Hey, S! Go to Taetae first, we'll just try to stride around the beautiful house." Tinapik ni Ate Milan ang balikat ko at bilang sagot ay tumango na lang ako saka naglakad patungo kay Taehyung.

The frowning man just silently sat at the corner of the black leather couch while his deep hooded eyes dug deeper my eyes as if he was trying to read what was in my mind, Kuya Namjoon and Kuya Jin now talking to each other. Kusa rin siyang umusog nang umupo ako sa tabi niya at nagpakawala ng malalim na buntong-hininga, naamoy ko tuloy ang tsokolateng amoy ng pabango niya.

Bahagya kong naririnig ang pinag-uusapan nina Kuya Namjoon at Kuya Jin pero malabo ang ilang detalye.

"She's not beautiful…"

"That's not what matters, she cooks so well."

"You piggy! Stop dating girls for food!"

"I don't date them, I just hang out with them."

Everything was suddenly taking a crazy toll on me, I didn't even know what was happening anymore, what was going to happen to Jimin and I? What about Jungkook and Jimin? What about Jungkook and his feelings?

Seemed like nothing was going to be fine even after all this.

"You're so dangerous, Hannan. You don't know how many people are hurting now because of you…" Taehyung's deep and baritone didn't even help me one bit.

Nilingon ko siya saka sarkastikong nginitian. "Do you think I'm not hurting? You're so cruel, why choose to only see the cause and not see the effect? Hindi ko sinabing magustuhan niya ako, Taehyung…" I whispered to him in a deep hurting voice, seeing that he was blaming me for all that was happening now, to his friends the most.

"Because you started the wrong way. Kung noon pa lang sinabi niyo na ni Jimin sa lahat kung anong mayroon kayo, then you couldn't have lured Jungkook into having such serious feelings for you. Oh, on the second thought…" He shortly stopped to smirk annoyingly as he spilled the words that made my gut clench in pain and anger. "Kayo? Wala nga pa lang kayo ng best friend ko, you're just his most favorite among his girls."

And for as much as I wanted to raise my hand to slap his smug and annoying face, I couldn't 'cause he was right. Walang kami ni Jimin, wala kaming commitment at label. Kahit pa sinabi niya sa aking mahal niya ako, I couldn't hold on to it 'cause people would seriously need label from us.

Hindi nila maiintindihan, lalo na at hindi pa naman namin sinasabi sa kanila na kami na. Na boyfriend ko na siya at girlfriend na niya ako. It wasn't also like it would save us all from all these… because it was already too late for that.

I gritted my teeth, bringing my eyes to stare anywhere but his mocking eyes as I felt my nails dig on my palms. Mahigpit na nagsara ang mga kamay ko sa ibabaw ng hita ko habang damang-dama ko ang galit sa dibdib ko. Also, I needed to understand Taehyung, Jimin and Jungkook were his friends. He was probably upset with me for hurting his two precious friends plus my pain was something he couldn't care about 'cause for him, it was still me the reason for all this.

Maybe, this was my karma. This was my karma for hurting those girls using the love of my life, and in behalf of those poor girls, karma still wasn't done getting even on me.

At ang pinakamasakit pa rito, damay sina Jungkook at Jimin.