Chapter Fourteen

"Mister Jeon, I don't have a problem with your attitude inside my class, you're actually giving me a favor for being too silent, I don't even know if you're listening but that's not the case. Nahihirapan ka bang intindihin ang mga idini-discuss ko? Ikaw na naman ang pinaka-mababa sa long quiz niyo."

I couldn't help but casually roll my eyes in my seat while taking in all our English teacher was saying to Jungkook. Hindi naman ito ang unang beses na napagsabihan siya ng ganyan. Alam ng lahat kung gaano siya kakulelat sa English subject, magaling naman sanang magsalita ng Ingles, ang kaso ay malay ko ba kung bakit parating mababa ang mga scores niya. Simpleng subject-verb agreement lang naman kasi ay hindi pa niya ma-perfect.

Para saan pa iyong mga pagba-bakasyon nila sa States tuwing summer kung ganyan siya? Ang akala niya yata ay walang rule na sinusunod ang linggwaheng Ingles. Tsk, tsk.

"I answered your questions very honestly, but it seems like you didn't like it." Narinig ko ang mahina ngunit matigas na boses ni Jungkook mula sa likod na bahagi ng room na para bang kasalanan pa ng teacher namin ang lahat.

I silently scoffed hearing his nonsense answer as I looked down at my paper resting on top of my desk. Hindi ko naman na kailangan pang aralin ang naganap na long quiz dahil grade school pa lang ay pinag-aaralan na ang subject-verb agreement. Grade 10 na kami, it was actually too sucking up to study the topic all over again but what could I do? Kasama iyon sa subject syllabus.

I got the perfect score again, together with Arianne Lacerna and other outstanding students in the class. I wasn't even surprised to know that Jackson Wesley also got a perfect score. At mas lalo namang hindi na ako nagtaka nang si Jungkook na naman ang pinaka-mababa.

"I don't want to offend you, Mister Jeon but I really think, you need to get a tutor. Hindi na kita pangungunahan kung saan ka hahanap pero gusto kong sa final exam ay mangalahati ka man lang. I'm afraid I'd have to use a red pen in filling up your report card and I believe, you don't want that."

Matapos iyong sabihin ng aming English teacher sa banayad na paraan na tipong iniiwasan ngang ma-offend si Jungkook ay nag-announce na siya ng dismissal bago inayos ang mga gamit at lumabas ng room. While I was left still staring at my paper and thinking about what our teacher said.

Sa apat na taon kong kaklase si Jungkook, ngayon ko lang talaga pinagdudahan kung bakit siya nandito sa highest section gayong lugmok siya isa sa mga major subjects. Hindi siya ma-isasalba ng galing niya sa ibang subject dahil mahalaga ang English subject.

Now, that was absurd and suspicious.

Kilala ko si Jungkook na hindi gagamitim ang estado ng pagkatao niya para maka-angat sa iba. I woudn't believe if he would say, he used his family's name to get to our section but I wouldn't also believe if he would say, he worked hard for it.

Wala dapat siya sa highest section, sa totoo lang.

"I feel bad for Kookie. Okay naman siya sa ibang subject."

Mula sa pagmamasid sa papel ko ay nag-angat ako ng tingin dahil sa narinig. I saw my seatmate already fixing her stuff inside her bag while looking sadly at our back. Sinundan ko ng tingin ang tinitingnan niya para lang makita si Jungkook na mukhang walang balak gumalaw sa kinauupuan at matamang nakatitig lang sa labas ng bintana.

He looked like someone who didn't care about failing at all.

"I'm sure, he can hire a good tutor. I hope, he gets the better."

Ibinalik ko ang tingin ko sa seatmate ko na ngayon ay patayo na at mukhang hindi napapansin na nag-mo-monologue siya sa harap ako at naririnig ko ang mga sinasabi niya. I didn't think she was talking to me. Hindi naman kami close.

Napansin niya ako dahil halos lumuwa ang mga mata sa panlalaki nang malaman niyang nasa harap niya ako. She quickly covered her mouth with her palms as she hastily turned to leave.

Napahiya yata.

Seriously, I didn't get people. Paanong hindi niya ako napansin e magkatabi lang naman kami? O baka naman sinasadya niya talagang iparinig sa akin? What? She liked the jerk?

Tsk, such a waste.

Iniligpit ko na lang ang mga gamit ko dahil sa library ang sunod naming subject, ito na ang pangalawang subject bago ang uwian at may presentation pa pala kami ni Jackson mamaya sa huling subject. Speaking of who, I hoped I was not offending him 'cause I didn't go near him anymore ever since Jimin warned me not to hang out with him again.

I didn't want a second part of that punishment he gave me. Baka mamaya ay hindi na lang sa locker room, damn, I was even lucky that it was at the locker room!

"H-Hannan."

"Shocking news!" Napatalon ako sa gulat at mahigpit na napahawak sa chain ng sling bag ko nang may mahina ngunit malalim na boses ang sumalubong sa akin paglabas ko ng room.

"I'm so-sorry for s-startling you. I didn't m-mean to," Jackson said in a stuttering voice beside me. Napapayukong inayos niya ang suot niyang salamin na para bang bubugahan ko siya ng apoy kung magtatama man ang mga mata namin.

Well, kung ibang tao siya ay baka nga ganoon ang gawin ko pero si Jackson siya. We might not be friends but I knew that he was a nice guy. Ibang-iba sa mga lalaking madalas magpalipad-hangin sa akin na hindi naman magawang lumapit at kausapin ako ng matino.

Puro mga yabang lang.

"You should at least have let me know that you'll be waiting for me. Isa pa, just a piece of advice. I really like your company Jackson. Honestly, you're such a nice guy but you see, we both wouldn't want what would Jimin do if he sees us both hanging out together again. Kaya good luck na lang sa atin mamaya, huling araw na ito, 'di ba?" I told him in manner that he would fully understand and he wouldn't get offended.

I felt bad when I saw how his jaw dropped and his eyes fell.

Unti-unti siyang umatras mula sa akin saka dahan-dahang tumango na tipong naiintindihan niya ang ibig kong sabihin. He should be, dahil ayaw ko rin namang siya ang pagbuntunan ni Jimin. I just didn't like Jimin to get into fights, though it was too obvious that Jackson would not even pick a fight too.

Tipid na ko na lang siyang nginitian saka siya tinalikuran na para magtungo na sa library. Nakakasabay ko pa ang ilan sa mga kaklase ko pero dahil wala naman akong close sa kanila ay diri-diretso lang ako. I could hear guys whispering when I passed by them and some other girls giggling. Ang iba ay dedma, maybe too lazy to give a damn.

I saluted them. They didn't mind other people's lives.

Nang marating ko ang entrada ng gusaling kinaroroonan ng library at mga administration offices ay nakasalubong ko si Taehyung na mukhang nagmamadali. Kung hindi ko pa hinila ang sleeves ng blazer niya ay hindi siya hihinto para pansinin ako.

"What's with the rush?" kunot-noong tanong ko sa kaniya. Mas lalo akong nagtaka dahil matapos niya akong bigyan ng isang mabilis na sulyap ay agad din niyang ibinalik sa harap ang atensyon niya saka nagpalinga-linga na parang may hinahanap. "Hey, wala kayong klase?" untag kong muli sa kaniya.

Bakit siya nasa building na ito gayong may klase sila? Kung magka-cutting man siya ay alam kong tatambay lang siya sa leisure room at magpapakaburo roon.

"Believe me or not Hannan, this is not the right time to ask me questions. Mali-late ka na sa library period niyo at ako naman ay may kailangang habulin. So sorry, but I need to go now!" Marahan niya lang na binawi sa akin ang braso niya dahil hindi naman mahigpit ang pagkakahawak ko sa kaniya.

"Aish, I lost him!" He silently hissed under his breath that reached my ear before he ran to somewhere the school grounds. Sino naman kaya ang hinahabol niya? Sa gitna ng mga klase?

I didn't know Taehyung's personal escapades in life but I was sure, it was not bad, I hoped it didn't. Knowing that man, he wouldn't do something bad inside the school premises, unless flirting and making out with girls were bad things.

Baka naman inutusan lang siya ng teacher nila kaya siya nasa labas. Though he seemed to be really in a rush. Well, I was concerned 'cause he was my friend.

Naging maayos naman ang lahat hanggang sa mag-uwian. Maayos naming na-escalate ni Jackson ang huling topic at nakapagbigay pa kami ng overall quiz. We both got a 'good work' praise from our teacher and told the class if they could all imitate the way we presented. Siyempre, kaya naman ng lahat iyon. Nasa teamwork lang talaga.

"Where's Cielo Severino?" kunot-noong tanong ko kay Jimin nang lumitaw siya sa labas ng room matapos ang klase nang nag-iisa. I didn't want to stress how he was in a mess again 'cause it was a natural for him.

Minsan nga gusto kong i-orient muna ang magiging mga girlfriend niya na sana ay huwag nilang kalilimutang ayusin ang necktie niya every after lunch para naman hindi siya ganito ka-messy tuwing dismissal. Though I was fine with his missing blazer, mukha naman siyang ni-rape sa gulo ng pagkakasabit ng necktie niya. Para bang kinatamaran talagang ayusin pa.

Only if I knew how to do it.

He exasperatedly let out a sigh as he gently took my hand, his fingers quickly finding their way in between my fingers. "We had a fight. Ayaw niya akong kausapin," he said in a tired voice.

My heart felt heavy at the sound of his husky tired voice, the joy I was feeling earlier from the successful presentation was thrown out of the window and the only thing that mattered to me now was Jimin Park and his exhausted form. Para bang pagod na pagod siya sa kung anumang problema—away, I might had say, na kinaharap niya.

I just wanted to raise my hand and gently caress his smooth face to make him feel better, to at least make him feel that I was here and that I wouldn't ever leave him. That I didn't want to see him in this state.

Ngayon pa lang ay pinapakulo na ng Cielo Severino na iyon ang dugo ko. How dared she make Jimin feel this way?

"Inaway ka? What did she do?" I asked him in gritted teeth, though I couldn't hide the softness in my eyes for him. Ibinalik ko ang higpit ng hawak niya sa kamay ko para pagaanin kahit papaano ang nararamdaman niya. His calloused yet warm hand holding back to my grip, letting our fingers pass each other.

"No, no east, we just had a little misunderstanding and she wanted to be away from me first. Don't worry, I'll fix this." His hot and menthol breath on my face, making me slowly nod in agreement.

Hinila na niya ang kamay ko para igiya ako sa paglalakad. Mabagal na sinabayan niya ang maliliit kong hakbang habang nakayuko siya at tipong hinihintay ang bawat pagtapak ng mga paa ko sa sahig. He had large steps so he was having a hard time following my small steps.

Hindi ko tuloy napigilang tumawa nang muntik na niyang matapakan ang isang paa niya, bahagya pa siyang na-out of balance dahil sa pagiging oh-so-ever clumsy niya kaya hinampas ko ang balikat niya gamit ang isa kong kamay.

"Stop it, west," natatawang saway ko sa kaniya.

"This. I can't understand. What are those long legs for? Ang hahaba ng biyas mo pero ang liliit ng mga hakbang mo," sabi niya sa tonong kumakalkula ng isang mahirap na problem solving saka nag-angat ng tingin sa akin. He used his other hand to coolly brush his blonde hair up since they were covering his forehead but they just came back since he had a soft hair.

That was a mannerism of him. Hindi lang isang babae ang nabaliw sa kaniya dahil sa mannerism niya na iyon. Alam na alam yata niyang napakaguwapo niya sa tuwing ginagawa niya iyon. And any normal guy wouldn't bother thinking about what he was thinking about girls' legs. Fine, a lot would be thinking about legs, but not how he thought about it.

"It's natural for girls to have small steps, west. Babae kami," sabi ko na sinusubukan naman ngayong habulin ang malalaki niyang hakbang. His one step was corresponding with my three small steps since I was wearing heels so I had to jump and jump and jump as he held me tighter so I wouldn't stumble like he did.

"So it's not possible for guys to have small steps?" he asked, confused.

"Depends. Bakit ba natin ito pinag-uusapan? Sabihin mo na lang sa akin kung bakit kayo nag-away ng Cielo Severino na iyon?" Tinigilan ko na ang paghahabol sa malalaki niyang hakbang dahil narating na namin ang hagdan. There were people at the staircase that started clearing the way upon seeing us, others gawking obviously at us while the others trying so hard not to stare.

Ngumuso ako nang makitang ang iba ay nakatitig sa magkahugpong naming kamay. Wala naman sanang malisya e, kung hindi lang dahil sa pagsibol ng panibago at kakaibang pakiramdam na iyon sa dibdib ko. I used to just ignore those people before, but with the way my heart was responding now, I couldn't help but make a big deal out of our simple holding hands.

"It's just nothing, east. Kaya ko namang ayusin. Nag-iinarte lang iyon panigurado," he said, obviously wanting to dismiss the topic.

Hindi ko tuloy mapigilang lalong maghinala dahil sa ikinikilos niya. Dati naman ay siya pa ang mag-o-open ng topic sa akin, he would tell me everything that was happening between him and the girl. And now that I thought of it, wala nga masyado akong alam sa relasiyon nila ngayon ni Cielo Severino.

He didn't give me information about their relationship anymore. Noon ay madalas niyang sabihin sa akin lahat, from their schedule dates to every details of what was happening in between them.

Was this again a first time for Cielo Severino? What was so special and different about her anyway?

"You'll tell me." I spat at him in a hard and firm voice, demanding for an answer. Nang nilingon niya ako ay nakita ko siyang napalunok bago magpakawala ng buntong-hiningang kasing-lalim ng kanina.

Was I making it hard for him? Pero gusto ko lang namang malaman.

I just didn't want him keeping secrets from me. I just didn't want him to make me feel that he was slowly getting loose from my grasp. I was used to a Jimin Park who was so submissive to Hannan Urduja. The one who would always submit to me even without me saying anything.

Was it bad to make it stay that way? I just wanted him to submit to me like before.

Huminto kami nang makarating kami sa baba ng hagdan matapos ang ilang segundong katahimikan, both from us and from the people watching us. I needed to hold my ground so strongly when I felt him gently cup my face and drag me to look at him.

Kung may ibibilis pa ang tibok ng puso ko, iyon ay sa tuwing nilulunod ako ng mga malalambot niyang mga titig.

I wanted to clutch my chest with my hands but at the same time, his soft eyes were paralyzing me. I couldn't do anything but to just stare back at his small mesmerising eyes and hear the loud beats of my heart only I could hear. I only I could hear, I wished 'cause I didn't want him to hear it, or to even notice it.

"Ikaw… ikaw ang pinag-awayan namin, Hannan. She wanted me to stay away from you…" He softly told me, voice slightly wavering before he firmly closed his eyes in frustration.

Napanganga ako habang iniisip kung anong mararamdaman ko kung sakali mang gawin nga ni Jimin ang gustong mangyaring iyon ni Cielo Severino, pakiramdam ko ay saglit na tumigil ang operasiyon sa loob ng dibdib ko ngunit damang-dama ko ang pag-iinit ng ulo ko.

And just as he opened his eyes, he spilled me the words that could take all of my worries away. "And you know, Hannan, you know you'll always come first before anything or anyone else. I couldn't go on to this mission if I'll just lose you."

It was funny how I could damn see myself also reasoning the same thing if I would ever lose him. Na kaya ko ring i-abort ang misyon namin kung sakali mang manganib ang relasyon naming pareho. I couldn't also afford to lose him, damn, I wouldn't ever lose him. I wouldn't even do anything that would compromise our relationship!

Unti-unting gumapang ang inis sa sistema ko habang naaalala ko ang pagmumukha ng Cielo Severino na iyon at umigting ang mga bagang ko. Ang kapal din pala ng mukha ng babaeng iyon! Akala mo kung sinong mahinhin at santa, e napaka-ipokrita rin naman pala.

Did she even ask her place before even asking Jimin to do that crap? Damn, mas malala pa siya kay Arianne! At least ang geek na iyon, hindi pina-init ang ulo ko ng ganito! Hindi rin naisipan ni Arianne Lacerna na may mas hahalaga pa sa akin para kay Jimin!

That two-faced bitch!

"She did that? That bitch?" untag ko sa mariing tinig habang nararamdaman ko ang mahigpit na pagsasara ng mga kamay ko at ang mabilis na pagtataas-baba ng dibdib ko.

Huwag na huwag lang talagang magpapakita sa akin ang Cielo Severino na iyon dahil talagang malalagot siya sa akin, I would freaking pull her hair till she got bald and I would claw her face till she got ugly!

How dared she?! Parehong-pareho sila ng kambal niyang buwisit!

"Ssh, you don't have to get furious, east. I already made sure that she wouldn't do that again. Maayos ko ito, okay?" Ang malumanay na boses ni Jimin na para bang nagpapa-amo ng bata ang nagpagaan ng loob ko at nang tumingin ako sa kaniya ay tila inalis ng malalambot niyang mga mata ang lahat ng galit ko.

Of course, it wasn't just his soft eyes but all of him that could make me feel fine at all. He would just call my name and I would be fine. He would just stare at me and I would be fine. He would just hold my hand and I would be fine. He would just exist and I would be all fine.

Just, when since did I really let myself be this damned over my best friend?

"You'll never do that, right?" tanong ko sa kaniya sa malambot at mahinang tinig. Gusto kong sumubsob sa dibdib niya at yakapin siya para iparamdam niya sa aking hindi niya gagawin iyon. Alam kong hindi niya gagawin, pero gusto kong marinig muli sa kaniya ang mga salitang iyon.

I wanted his assurance all over again.

His hands that cupped my face went caressing my jaws so gently as he smiled at me with so much assurance, eyes missing with how they way his lips pulled up for a sweet genuine smile. I couldn't help but get dragged again, I smiled back.

Like, I was sorry, but until I lived, Jimin was mine. Jimin Park was only for Hannan Urduja.

"Not possible, Hannan. Not ever. Not happening. I would rather die than lose you, hm…" He assured me.

Hinayaan ko siya nang dumuko siya sa akin at patakan ng mariing halik ang noo. Gusto kong magbunyi kasi ginawa niya iyon sa harap ng maraming estudyante. At hindi na ako makapaghintay na umabot ang mga nangyari ngayon kay Cielo Severino para malaman niyang ang lugar niya sa buhay ni Jimin ay hindi dapat ikinukumpara sa lugar ko sa buhay ni Jimin.

I couldn't wait for her to know how far the difference was. That there was even no competition at all.

"Aww, you're so sweet together but I've decided, ngayong araw ay isasabay ko pauwi ang kapatid ko."

Hindi ko napigilang magpa-ikot ng mga mata matapos lumayo sa akin ni Jimin dahil sa boses ni Ate Milan na biglang dumagundong sa tahimik na paligid. I didn't even notice how the surrounding fell silent while I was too engulfed of what Jimin and I had been talking earlier, and I didn't care if they heard it 'cause they didn't matter.

Naramdaman ko ang marahang pagdausdos ng isang matigas na braso ni Jimin sa baywang ko at ang paghila niya sa akin palapit sa katawan niya katulad ng madalas niyang gawin nang hinarap namin si Ate Milan na hindi pala nag-iisa.

Of course, kung nasaan si Ate Milan ay naroon din si Hoseok Jung. Inseparable din ang drama nilang dalawa, sa totoo lang.

"Kasama naman ni Hannan si Jimin, she'll be safe. Let them be and let's date, love," ani kuya Hoseok saka marahang hinaplos ang braso ni Ate Milan, umaasang magbabago pa ang desisyon ni Ate Milan.

Though, I knew better.

Sa mga nangyari kagabi, alam kong hindi na magbabago pa ang desisyon ni Ate Milan. Hindi ngayong tinakot ko siya at kung gusto kong hindi siya magsumbong kay Daddy, dapat akong makinig sa kaniya ngayon.

"I'm afraid that's not possible for now, Hobi. I'm sorry, but my sister needs me, hm. Naiintindihan mo naman, 'di ba?" Ate Milan sweet talked to Kuya Hoseok. Pinigilan ko talagang hindi maubo dahil sa pagpapa-cute niya sa boyfriend niya na mukhang tumalab naman.

Walang nagawa si Kuya Hoseok kung hindi ang tumango. Hindi na rin naman kami pumalag pa ni Jimin para hindi na humaba pa ang usapan. Puwede naman kasi kaming magsabay pa rin umuwi, magkaiba nga lang ng sasakyan.

"Drive safely, Ate Milan. We'll just be behind your car," ani Jimin nang makasakay na kami ng sasakyan ni Ate Milan at nakasilip siya sa nakabukas na bintana ng passenger's seat kung nasaan ako naka-upo. Sa bintana ng driver's seat ay si Kuya Hoseok naman kung nasaan si Ate Milan.

We dismissed the two guys saying we would be safe. Pareho kaming natawa ni Ate Milan nang matagumpay naming na-itaboy ang dalawa.

I just watched as she started the engine and drove our way out of the school's parking lot, holding lamely at the belt that safely hugged my body.

"I can now see how I'll have a hard time matching you and Jungkook, pakiramdam ko, si Jimin ang unang magiging hadlang." Ate Milan suddenly broke to me.

And here she came again with her love-matching games. Of all people, why it had to be Jungkook Jeon though?