Chapter Twelve

Mint Drewford, Jimin's asshole of a cousin. He was not a very close friend of mine but I could at least safely say that he was a childhood friend, aside from he was my ex-boyfriend.

Hindi man kami madalas magkita pero dahil sa buwanang wedding celebration nina Tita Janna at Tito Nigel ay hindi talaga maiiwasang makasalamuha ko siya. Ever since time immemorial, hindi nawawala ang pamilya namin at ang Drewfords sa selebrasyong ito. Well, kahit naman nawala na si Mommy ay hindi naputol ang nakagisnang iyon. Hindi man nakakapunta si Daddy at Ate Milan ay palagi kong sinisiguradong hindi ako mawawala.

It really became just a normal usual thing for me.

The relationship we had with the Parks and Drewfords was a treasure my mother left me so I wouldn't want to get passed a single moment with their happy events. Plus, I couldn't afford to fail Jimin. Ang monthly wedding celebration ng mga magulang niya ang isa sa pinakamahalagang okasyon sa buhay niya.

It might be just a simple dinner but it meant a lot for us. Lalo na sa tuwing naaalala ko kung gaano kasaya ang tatlong pamilya noong nabubuhay pa si Mommy. But then, masaya pa rin naman hanggang ngayon, only if Mint hadn't stained a part of me.

The celebration last month had gone as smooth and as perfect as it used to be for me 'cause he wasn't there. Masaya iyon kasi hindi ko siya nakita and that I didn't have to deal with his demonic face. I just really wanted to punch his face, to be honest.

Kung hindi lang talaga sila magkahawig ni Jimin.

"Hey, east, hindi mo pa ginagalaw ang pagkain mo."

From staring across me at where Mint sat, silently eating his food and seemed to be very unaffected of my obvious disgust of his presence, I slowly turned to my right side. Sinalubong ako ng malalambot na titig ni Jimin gamit ang pares ng malalambot na singkit niyang mga mata.

There was no doubt that his small eyes were always my comfort edge. Kumbaga titingin lang ako sa mga mata niya ay lulunurin na ng mga ito ang kung anumang hindi magandang nararamdaman ko.

He sweetly smiled at me, his full crimson plump lips stretching upward, showing me his perfect whites. Nagbaba siya ng tingin sa plato ko bago dinampot ang kutsara ko. I silently watched as he spooned a little amount of yellow rice from my plate and slowly dragged the spoon near my mouth.

"Say ah," he softly told me.

Natatawang binuksan ko ang bibig ko para tanggapin ang pagkaing isinusubo niya sa akin. Hindi naman sa wala akong ganang kumain, hindi ko lang talagang masikmurang kumain na kaharap si Mint. Just, I just couldn't understand why he seemed so unaffected about all this.

Pero si Jimin, katabi ko si Jimin. Iyon lang naman talaga ang kailangan ko e. That I could sit in a table full of Mint for as long as there was one Jimin beside me, making things all perfect for me.

"Oh you're so cute!" Naagaw ng matinis at tila hindi mapakaling tili ni Tita Janna ang atensyon namin. She gracefully sat just beside Tito Nigel who was on the other edge of the table and we lined up with them, Jaye, Jimin and I respectively. Si Tito Von naman ang nasa kabilang kabisera at katabi si Tita Sammie, sa hilera nila ay sina Mint at Mira.

Mira and Mint were identical twins. And no, I didn't hold grudges against Mira just because she was Mint's twin sister. We were actually close friends, pareho namin siyang childhood friend ni Ate Milan. May mga times kasi na nag-o-overnight siya rito para lang makasama kami since na labas ng syudad sila nakatira.

"Tell me, kids, what's the status between the two of you already?" Tita Janna giddily asked us while slowly raising a glass with red wine to her lips.

I knew what she was doing, she knew what had been going in between Jimin and I, no, not the secret going on in between us but our real score. She just wanted to tease Tita Sammie since they had been competing for me.

Nilingon ko si Jimin habang mabagal na nginunguya ang pagkain sa bibig ko para siya ang sumagot sa Mommy niya dahil ayaw kong biguin ang pag-asang sumasalamin sa mga mata ni Tita Janna. I saw Jimin casually gulp the food in his mouth as he playfully winked at me. Napansin iyon ni Tita Janna dahil narinig ko siyang humagikhik.

Oh no, who could ruin her fantasies about us? Probably, not me.

"Mom, I'm sorry to break this to you but Hannan and I are just friends. I mean, we're close, yes, but that's only what we are." Jimin softly told his mother. At hindi ko alam, seriously, I didn't know. Kasabay kasi ng pagkakawala ng kislap mula sa mga mata ni Tita Janna ay ang biglaang pitik sa dibdib ko dahil sa sinabi ni Jimin.

He made it sound like we would never happen and honestly, though very strangely, it hurt. Ina-amin ko naman talagang attracted ako kay Jimin. He was very important and special to me, not only because of his looks, like duh, I was not that shallow. He was almost the half of me, he had been there with me since time immemorial. My world would probably go in vain and nothingness without him because he was my best friend.

Just because.

Pero natural ba na masaktan ako sa katotohanang hanggang doon lang kami? That I was confused about.

"Jimin, hindi na kayo mga bata. What about you, hija?" Tumikhim si Tito Nigel bago niya kami balingan ni Jimin. He lightly wiped his lips with the table napkin while staring at us, at me in the end.

"Me…? What about me, Tito Nigel?" I asked in confusion. I heard a loud scoff from across the table so I dragged my sight towards the asshole. Ang pinaka-ayaw ko talaga sa lahat ay iyong kinukutya ako kapag nagsasalita ako, at sa kaniya pa talaga galing.

My heart twitched in annoyance as I saw Mint staring blandly at me with those black glassy circles, catering no emotions at all, as if he was just staring at the air. Kung hindi ko lang siya kilala, baka kinilabutan na ako sa walang emosyon niyang mga titig. But I knew better and I knew him.

He was mad for I didn't know why.

"Hannan, ang ibig sabihin ng Tito Nigel mo, bakit hindi ka mamili kung sino sa dalawa ang gusto mo? Choose and make it work, 'cause either way, isa lang naman sa kanila ang babagsakan mo." Malambot at marahan ang tono ng boses ni Tita Sammie pero hindi noon naiwasang pabigatin ang pressure na nararamdaman ko sa dibdib ko.

Yumuko ako habang humihigpit ang kapit ko sa table napkin na nasa mga hita ko. It was not like I didn't want them to pursue what they had planned together with my mother for us, their children, but it had been very pressuring to get reminded always about that.

Mahal ko si Mommy, na kung sasabihin nila sa aking iyon lang ang tanging hinangad ni Mommy bago ito mawala ay pikit-mata akong susunod, pero hindi ganoon kadali iyon. It was not so easy like they said, choose and make it work, 'cause I did once, but it only brought me pain and disappointments.

"Auntie, please, don't do this to her." Narinig ko ang malambot at nagmamaka-awang boses ni Jimin sa tabi ko.

"Jimin, it's not that hard. Tatanggapin namin kung hindi si Mint ang pipilii—"

"Excuse me, I don't know but this dinner is making me sick all of a sudden. Please don't mind my rude behavior." Pinutol ni Mint ang sinasabi ni Tita Sammie sa marahas na pagtayo pero pormal at magalang na tono. His chair screeched backward as he forcefully put his silverware down.

"Mint, don't do this. Maupo ka nga, you're not yet done eating," Mira said in her natural lulling soft voice, so opposite of her twin's brother deep voice. Mukhang hindi siya pinakinggan ni Mint dahil narinig ko pa rin ang pag-alis niya sa upuan niya.

I refused to raise my head even though I heard him walk out of the dining hall. Tumamihik ang hapagkainan dahil doon. I suddenly felt sick in my stomach as I could only hear heavy breathes in the agonizingly silent air. I felt too guilty for I ruined this special occasion.

"Tita, I'm sorry for ruining—"

"Tss, don't. Just don't, east. It's not your fault that you're too good for a daughter-in-law position that they all want you, hm?" Pinutol ni Jimin ang sinasabi ko bago ko maramdamang hinawakan niya ang baba ko para i-angat paharap sa kaniya.

Once again, his soft small eyes drowned all the pressure I was feeling.

Dinampot niya ang table napkin na nasa mga hita ko na mahigpit ko pa rin pa lang hawak. He softly smiled at me so I let it go just as he gently wiped the sides of my mouth with it. Damn it, sanay akong ganito siya ka-sweet pero hindi ako sanay sa biglaang pagbabago ng tibok ng puso ko ngayon!

It was beating so fast, as if running for a marathon and I hated it, I hated where it was leading. Only if I could just name whatever it was.

"Excuse us then," Jimin blandly said as he pushed his chair backwards before standing up.

"Jimin, son, I'm sorry," Tita Janna apologetically said.

Nang nilingon ko siya ay sa akin siya nakatingin gamit ang mga malalalamlam na mga mata, also her eyes glazed with guilt. I smiled sadly at her before I turned to look at Tita Sammie na mas mukhang guilty ang mukha. She bit her lower lip after mouthing 'sorry' to me too.

"Yah, why are ya'll so melodramatic? It's not as if you're all getting married immediately." Hindi na ata napigilan ni Jaye ang sumabat. Kanina pa siya tahimik na hindi naman normal sa kaniya, pero naintindihan ko naman dahil hindi niya gawain ang makisali sa usapang hindi naman siya kasali.

Except this time, maybe.

"Kung wala kang magandang sasabihin, Jaye, why don't you just shut that useless mouth of yours instead of blabbering bullshit? Save the air atmosphere," Mira hissed at him. Kahit na naiinis na siya ay malambot pa rin ang boses at tila idinuduyan ang mga nakakarinig.

"Ssh, Miranda, not in the dining table," matigas na saway naman Tito Von kay Mira dahil siguro sa pagmumura niya.

"East, come on. Let's go to my room," ani Jimin sa gilid ko saka ko naramdaman ang presensya niya sa likod ko.

I first gave the people in the table an apologetic look before pushing my chair backward and standing up. Bago pa man namin tuluyang lisanin ni Jimin ang hapag ay narinig ko ang boses ni Tita Sammie.

"But I really hope, she finds my son worth a try."

Patalon akong nahiga sa blue King-sized bed na nasa gitnang bahagi ng kuwarto ni Jimin, sa lambot nito ay medyo tumalbog pa ako. I spread my arms sideways occupying almost the whole space of the bed, feeling so comfortable back in his bed that I missed a slight bit as I stared up the plain sky-blue ceiling. The bed having his natural scent that I just wanted to close my eyes and sink deeper into the safety of its softness.

Ramdam na ramdam ko pa rin ang mabilis na tibok ng puso ko na pakiramdam ko, magkaka-heart attack ako kung magpapatuloy ito. Pakiramdam ko rin, kung tatayo ako ay hindi kakayanin ng mga binti ko ang bigat ko dahil sa panghihina ng mga ito.

What was this? This fluttering yet painful beats in my heart? Also this overwhelming and confusing force within my system, it was making me want to just shut down and surrender?

Nawala sa paningin ko ang mataas na ceiling at naputol ang pinag-iisip ko nang matabunan ang mukha ko ng kung anong malambot at mabangong bagay. Kinuha ko ang mga ito para lang makita ang isang pares ko ng kulay itim na pajamas, may disensyo iyong mga pulang lips.

"Magbihis ka na, susunod ako," ani Jimin.

Bumangon ako at nakita ko siyang nakapameywang sa pinto ng walk-in closet niya habang nakatingin sa akin. Mas magulo na ngayon ang blonde niyang buhok na para bang pinagbuntunan niya ng inis kaya ganoon. I hardly bit my lower lip with how hot he looked right now. Hindi pa nakatulong na hindi pa rin siya nagpapalit ng damit, ang hindi maayos na pagkakasampay ng necktie niya at ang paglitaw ng puti niyang sando dahil bukas ang puting polo niya.

I tightly pressed my legs together because of the sudden pulling sensation in my stomach he was making me feel even without doing anything. I couldn't believe this! He was becoming so toxic for me as time passed by!

Baka humantong na sa puntong na talagang hindi ko na kakayanin pa kung matatapos na lang bigla ang kung anumang mayroon kami. Baka umabot ako sa point na ikababaliw ko kung mawawala siya sa akin, o kung malalayo man siya sa akin.

I couldn't see it happening so soon but the possibility was terrifying.

"D-Dito ba?" tanong ko saka mahigpit na hinawakan ang pares ng pajama ko, pinapatay ang init na nagsisimulang mamuo sa sistema ko dahil hindi ito ang tamang oras para roon.

Drewfords were here… Mint was here.

"Oh, I would want to see you dress in front of me but you see, that will lead me to fvcking the hell out of you so no, sa banyo ka." Umiling siya at itinuro ang pinto ng banyo.

"Jimin!" inis kong sigaw dahil sa bulgar ng pagkakasabi niya pero nginisihan lang ako ng walanghiya bago pumihit patalikod para pumasok sa loob ng walk-in closet niya.

"But if it's fine for you, then the door's open, pumasok ka lang." Narinig kong sabi niya mula sa loob na binuntutan niya ng malakas na halakhak.

I felt my cheeks heat up with that. "Shut up!" sigaw kong muli saka marahas na bumaba ng kama at nagmartsa na patungo sa banyo para magbihis dahil baka totohanin ko ang sinabi niya.

Damn it, he couldn't go seducing me like that!

Nang matapos akong maligo at magbihis ay lumabas na ako ng banyo habang tinutuyo ang basa kong buhok gamit ang mint kong tuwalya na naka-stock sa banyo niya dahil sa dalas ko rito. Ganoon din sa bahay, may mga gamit siya sa kuwarto ko. Nahinto ako sa ginagawa at napatigil sa paglalakad nang makita ang lalaking nakasandal sa likod ng nakasarang pinto habang nakahalukipkip at matamang nakatitig sa akin na para bang inaasahan na niya ang paglabas ko.

His red hair was a little bit dark now in my sight because of the dim lights around the room. Suot pa rin niya ang itim na t-shirt na suot niya kanina at ang faded jeans, only that he was now wearing a pair of black house slippers.

"So still the same," he deadpanned at me, in ironically, dark eyes. Noon pa man ay kinulang na talaga sa emosyon ang mga mata ng isang Mint Drewford, noon pa man ay wala na talagang kabuhay-buhay ang mga salitang lumalabas sa bibig niya. But it changed somehow when we were still together.

I had actually thought we were already working things out but I had come out wrong. Kasi pala, laro lang pala talaga para sa kaniya ang lahat. Yes, I was just testing what we had before, we were just testing. Hindi ko naman alam na literal niyang nilalaro ang lahat.

"Anong ginagawa mo rito?" I spat at him so silently as I slowly hugged myself, realizing the pathetic situation I just put myself into. Wala akong suot na kahit na anong panloob at masyado lang manipis ang pares ng pantulog ko kaya sigurado akong madali niyang makikita ang nasa loob.

I didn't ask Jimin to give me undergarments to wear and I didn't know that Mint would be here. Hindi ako nagpapa-conservative pero kung hindi lang din si Jimin, itatago ko ito sa iba.

Mint and I didn't go as far from kissing, we hugged, we held hands and we kissed but we had never really gotten so far from those.

It was only Jimin, it had only been him.

Kinilabutan ako nang ngumisi siya sa akin. And no, a grin or smile wasn't really a thing of Mint. Ipapakita niyang masaya siya sa mga malalambing na kilos such as hugs and kisses, but a grin? I had only seen him grin once.

"Iba rin kayo, 'no? Tell me Hannan, what did Jimin fvcking do to fvcking deserve all of you?" His eyes turned more darkly as I saw his jaw harden.

Nanigas ako sa kinatatayuan ko habang pinapanood ang mas pagdidilim pa ng anyo niya. My eyes bridged down the veins starting to show in his neck, all down to his biceps till his closed fist. Gusto kong umatras, tumakbo pabalik sa banyo at mag-lock dahil sa galit na ipinapakita niya ay natatakot akong saktan niya ako. But damn it, I couldn't move my feet! Ni hindi ko mahanap ang boses ko para magsalita man lang!

I wanted to at least ask him what he meant by that but I was afraid the answers he had was already what it already was.

"What the hell did he fvcking do for you to spread that fvcking legs of yours for him?! H-Hindi ko maintindihan, Hannan! Were you cheating on me with him while I was busy fvcking loving you and fvcking trying to work things out?!" he shouted through gritted teeth that made me jump in fear and shocked over his sudden outrage. His strong and hard profanities were adding up to the messed up situation we were suddenly both locked up into.

Mint Drewford never raised a voice at me and most importantly, I had never heard him cuss this way. He did sometimes but not this hard and intense. Hindi ko pa siya nakikitang magalit at ngayong ganito siya, hindi ko maisipang ihalintulad siya kay Jimin.

Ganito magalit si Jimin. Mouth no filter and very scary, that was why I didn't really anger Jimin and it was not like he could really afford to get mad at me.

Hannan, you're in a very dangerous and terrifying situation with a raging man, and you can still think about Jimin?

Because I needed him now before his asshole of a cousin could pull something dangerous to me!

Mabilis na kumabog ang dibdib ko sa pinaghalong pagtataka, takot, sakit at galit nang mapagtanto ko ang sinabi ni Mint. I didn't know what to feel first, to be honest. Mahigpit na nagsara ang mga kamay ko sa magkabilang gilid ko. I wanted to walk to him, punch him straight on the face and cry but I couldn't do any of those because I felt paralyzed. I felt so confused, messed up and scared all at once that I couldn't move.

My lips quivered for a forced words until I succeeded. "W-What are you s-saying? I-Ikaw ang naglaro—"

"Oh yeah? Of course, you'd believe that crap! Shit, Hannan! You broke my fvcking ego! I would've never confronted you, of course! Pero nakaka-g*go lang, hanggang ngayon ginagawa niyo pa rin? Who the hell are you trying to fool here?!"

My eyes fell open. He knew!

"Y-You… you k-knew…" I uttered stuttering, very lost of words to say. Nanginginig ang mga kalamnan ko dahil sa mga biglaang kaganapang nangyayari ngayon.

I expected a confrontation with Mint, a clarification for our unfinished business but it never occurred to me that it… it was like this. That he knew all along. That the secret Jimin and I had been trying to keep and protect was not so secret anymore.

"What? Your dirty and nasty little secret with my damn fvcking rascal of a cousin?" He mocked me, still raging. I was surprised he could still hold himself from hurting me.

I gritted my teeth 'cause despite the whole messed up situation, I still managed to take note of what he just called Jimin. No, no, I didn't let anyone, whoever that was, to call Jimin names.

"Bawiin mo ang s-sinabi mo, Mint," utos ko sa kaniya sa nanginginig na tinig dahil nakakaramdam pa rin ako ng takot sa sitwasyon naming ito.

"Wala akong babawiin, Hannan. And why would I fvcking follow a good for nothing whore like—"

Nahulaan ko na ang mga salitang lalabas sa bibig niya kaya pinilit kong i-hakbang ang mga paa ko para putulin ang distansiya namin. I quickly raised my hand and strongly slapped him on the face just before he could finish what he was saying. His face thrashed sideward as my palm stung hardly and painfully.

"You don't have the damn right to call Jimin names and I don't give you the damn rights to call me insulting names, Mint!" galit kong sigaw at akmang pagsasapakin ko siyang muli nang marahas niyang sinalo ang mga kamay ko at buong lakas akong isinandal sa pintong kanina lang ay sinasandalan niya.

I winced at the harsh and hard contact of my back with the hard wooden door, my shoulder blades stung hard. Nagpumiglas ako sa mahigpit niyang hawak ngunit masyado siyang malakas. Anong laban ko sa lalaking may malaking pangangatawan at matangkad pa? I didn't stand a damn chance!

"Really? Then let me show how big of a fvcking whore you are!" He growled angrily just as I felt him effortlessly pin my arms against the door and push his body against my little squirming frame.

I panicked when I felt his lips harshly crash down my unprepared soft ones, immediately sliding across mine and kissing me hard. Nalasahan ko pa ang pamilyar niyang mouthwash. Ibang-iba ito sa iniisip kong gagawin niya!

"Mint—!" My scream for protest got drowned when his tongue harshly glided its way inside my mouth because of the opening. Sinusubukan kong pumiglas pa rin sa hawak niya. I prompted my knees only to find it lock with his long and strong legs, my body squirming nonstop and my face trying to get away from his kisses.

Mas nag-panic pa ako nang bigla niya akong bitbitin ng walang kahirap-hirap at marahas na inihagis sa kama. Sa sobrang takot sa binabalak niyang gawin sa akin ay napaluha ako. Nagkaroon ako ng pagkakataong lumayo sa kaniya pero hanggang sa dulo lang ng headboard ang inabot ko, nagsumiksik ako roon habang niyayakap ang sarili ko.

Mint was naturally a cold guy but he wasn't this evil.

Tumitig ako sa mga mata niya para humanap ng pag-asa ngunit ang talim ng mga mata niya ang nagpakita sa aking… hindi na si Mint ang lalaking kaharap ko, he wasn't the old Mint anymore.

"No, no, M-Mint. Please, no…" I begged him while watching him crawling on the bed towards me, an evil grin plastered on his lips and a dark lust reflected through his eyes.

Inabot niya ang paa ko saka malakas akong hinila para mapahiga ako sa ilalim niya. His hands instantly found my legs, he spread them apart as he settled in between while holding my arms down the bed so strongly. Hindi na ako makagalaw dahil sa bigat niyang nakadagan sa akin at sa mga kamay niyang malakas na hawak ang mga braso ko.

I felt so helpless now that I could only hope for someone…

"Mint, it's my name. It's the only name you're allowed to scream while I'm fvcking and stretching all of you, Hannan."

Jimin, please, save me. I need you, Jimin.