Chapter Eleven

Maybe, the right question wasn't 'who is she?', 'cause even if he told me who the other girl was, it wouldn't make me calm my insides. Hindi ako makokontento na lang kapag nalaman ko kung sino ang isa pang babae sa buhay niya ngayon. I would have to know everything, as to why… why did he have to keep it from me?

Hindi ko pinakiki-alaman ang mga babae sa buhay niya, ang mga babaeng nakakarelasyon niya, unless, they were our prospect. And now, I was afraid to ask him. I was afraid he would tell me that he was just protecting whoever that girl was and that I was out of it. Dahil ang isang Jimin Park, malihim siya sa mga bagay, tao rather, na sobrang pinapahalagahan niya. He kept them from the public so that he could protect them.

That was what he had been doing to our best-kept secret… and to our missions.

And I didn't think I was ready. I didn't think I was ready to accept that he was already having something else to protect that— someone rather, who was not me.

Mabilis akong nag-iwas ng tingin sa kaniya nang maramdaman ko ang paninikip ng kung anumang bagay na nasa dibdib ko. It ached that if I wasn't just holding the seatbelt, I could have clutched my chest to stop it from hurting. Namataan ko sa labas ang matayog na tarangkahan ng bahay namin ngunit nilagpasan lang namin iyon habang hinahabol ko ng tingin ang puting bar gates ng Urduja Residence mula sa side mirror ng sasakyan.

"You don't have to answer i-it. I mean, the issues about you at LSAC Papers sort of bothering me a bit, but it's fine." Nagkibit-balikat ako para ipakita sa kaniyang hindi naman big deal para sa akin iyon kahit na sa loob ko, nasasaktan ako.

I couldn't believe this. I couldn't believe I would be this stupidly hurt over someone who was unknown. Hindi ako makapaniwalang sa dami ng mga magagandang babaeng na-i-date na ni Jimin ay nagseselos ako sa isang babaeng hindi ko naman kilala!

Damn it!

I didn't know if he was just being too submissive to me or he just didn't want to answer my question so he really didn't answer. Pero ramdam ko, ramdam kong may pinoprotektahan siya. Ramdam kong may inililihim siya sa akin. So new and bizarre dahil kailanman, walang inilihim sa akin ang isang Jimin Park. 'Cause he had always been an open book to me.

Napabuntong-hininga na lang ako nang huminto na ang sasakyan niya sa harap ng matayog at puting tarangkahan na nagkukubli sa mga ari-arian at lupain ng mga Park sa loob. Katulad ng landscape ng Urduja Residence ay may mahaba at halos isang kilometrong driveway bago marating ang mansiyon ng mga Park.

The guard that I spotted at the guardhouse was already talking to someone through his radio phone before the gate slowly parted in two.

"Hannan, I want you to trust me all through this. Could you do that?" Bago tuluyang pumasok ang sasakyan niya ay narinig ko siyang nagsalita sa pinakabanayad ngunit mariing tono na nagpalingon sa akin.

Wala sa akin ang atensyon niya kung hindi nasa daan kaya hindi na ako sumagot. He was driving so seriously with his stern and stoic face as if the road had done something to him. Lumilitaw ang mga buto sa panga niya at mahigpit ang pagkakahawak sa manibela.

How can you even ask me that when I've already poured all my trust in you? Nasa iyo na lahat. I didn't even have anything left in me… and I hope, you don't find way to betray me.

His car stopped in front of the Park Mansion that stood elegantly and very tall for us to marvel at. Noong bata pa ako ay madalas akong mamangha sa laki nito dahil sa mga Disney movies ko lang nakikita ang mga tulad ng Park Mansion. Malaki ang Urduja Mansion but Park Mansion was undeniably and inexplicably tall plus it had classic style that you could only imagine contemporary things inside.

Tita Janna was a half-Filipino and half-French, I heard, this mansion was dedicated to her grandparents' living memories, built here at The Park Villages as a family heirloom, also a gift.

Ang mga magulang ni Tita Janna ang nagpagawa ng bahay na ito, ngunit ipinangalan kay Tito Nigel bilang regalo sa kanila ni Tita Janna. This was just one of the houses owned by Jimin's parents, they had other manors outside the city, at different provinces.

I also heard that they had other land properties in Korea, all came from Tito Nigel's family since his father came from a rich household in Korea. Also, Parks businesses had also been reestablished here in the Philippines, merged with Drewfords businesses. Parks business was in the land and real estates field. They owned this village and many other villages around the country.

Nagtaka ako nang makakita ng isang hindi pamilyar na sasakyan sa unahan ng sasakyan ni Jimin. Bukod sa hindi ito pamilyar sa akin ay hindi ito naka-park sa parking lot ng Park Mansion kaya nasisiguro kong hindi iyon isa sa mga sasakyan ng mga Park.

Nilingon ko si Jimin na ina-alis na ang seatbelt niya. I was even surprised to see him looking confusedly at me while removing his seatbelt. Sa mismong katawan ko siya nakatingin.

"Seems like you have other visitors…" I told him as I pursed my lips when his pair of small eyes went upward to meet my eyes. As always, they were soft though they were now shaded with confusion and amazement.

"I think, Uncle Von and his family are already here, that must be one of their vans," aniya saka ngumisi sa akin. My heart thumped a little bit loudly and quickly with how his face easily changed expression, my mind failing to escalate what he just told me. His eyes were now shaded with playfulness and malice, something that was very usual for someone like Jimin Park.

I rolled my eyes at him and just as he was about to lean on me, I quickly took my seatbelt off me and opened the door to hop out the car. Ang ganoong tingin at ngisi niya ay hindi ko puwedeng pagkatiwalaan. He was just too perverted, seriously.

Nauna akong pumasok sa loob ng bahay habang nakasunod siya sa akin at naririnig ko ang mumunti niyang halakhak na talaga namang nakakarindi. If only I could hit him so he would stop but I knew better than regret it afterwards.

Damn, why was I like this toward that perverted brute?!

Tahimik at malawak na bulwagan ang bumungad sa amin pagpasok ng mansiyon na masyadong nakakapagtaka dahil pakalat-kalat lang naman madalas ang mga kasambahay ng mga Park.

The receiving area was located at the left part of the vast hall near the main door, may set of couches doon na pumapalibot sa isang pabilog at mababang babasaging mesa, a flat screen TV was pasted on the wall to keep the visitors entertained while waiting.

Well, Parks were very particular with visitors.

Naalala ko nga noon, sa tuwing papasok ako rito ay iba't ibang tao ang nakikita ko rito dahil hindi basta-basta nakakatuloy ang kung sinuman sa main living room ng mansiyon. Maids would always let me in the house since I had long given the privilege in this mansion.

From meters ahead at where we were, slanted upwards was an elegant and wide staircase connecting the first and the second floors. May teresa sa itaas ngunit hindi ipinapakita ang kung anumang nasa ikalawang palapag mula sa kinaroroonan namin, though I knew there were series of rooms upstairs, including Jimin's room plus a living room. There was also an alternative route going upstairs from the main living room.

May mga kanto naman sa magkabilang gilid ng lobby na magdadala sa amin sa iba pang bahagi ng mansyon.

I had been here, isa ang lugar na ito sa kinalakihan ko. Jimin and I had used to play in this wide hall, madalas kaming maghabulan dito noon habang nasa main living room ang mga magulang namin.

Madalas din kami ritong mag-fake camping, our mothers were providing us tents and other needs before they left us to sleep. Naalala kong si Ate Milan ang kasama ko sa tent at mag-isa naman si Jimin sa tent niya dahil hindi nakikisali sa amin iyong kapatid niyang si Jaye pero paggising kinabukasan, magkatabi na kami sa loob ng tent niya.

Turned out, I was sleepwalking to his tent.

This hall had used to be our playground and well, maybe, it still was.

"Hey, east! Don't get surprised. I think, Uncle Von is already here." Narinig kong sabi ni Jimin mula sa likod ko nang lumiko ako sa kaliwang kanto ng bulwagan patungo sa main living room ng bahay kung saan ko makikita sina Tita Janna.

A long narrow hallway met us, sa magkabilang dingding ay puno ng mga kuwadrado ng Park Family at ilang paintings.

"Why would I be surprised? It's just Tito Von." Umirap ako kahit na hindi naman niya makikita.

"What's the occasion today again, babe?" he asked in a teasing tone.

"Your parents' monthly wedding celebration," sagot kong pinapasadahan ng tingin ang mga kuwadrado sa dingding. I stopped for a while when I saw that one big framed picture pasted just near the other frames.

"Of course, east. Uncle Von is here, you're not expecting him to go here alone, are you?"

Natigil ako sa pagmamasid sa larawang tinititigan ko nang mapagtanto ko ang gusto niyang sabihin sa akin. Mabilis na nagsalubong ang mga kilay ko nang makita ko ang pang-asar niyang ngisi. I really had to stop myself from both hitting him because of his smug smirk and from pulling him to me and kissing him because of his full pink lips that were stretching for me.

I hardly closed my fists as I contemplated about all this. Tutuloy pa ba ako? Surely, it was months ago since it happened. At isang monthsary na nina Tita Janna at Tito Nigel ang lumipas pero kahit na ganoon, hindi ko pa rin iyon nakakalimutan, lalo na ang tarantadong iyon.

Damn it, sorry for the word.

"He-hey, east, don't tell me—fvck! You can't!" Nanlalaki ang mga matang sabi niya sa akin na tipong hindi inaasahan ang nakikita niya sa mukha ko.

"Of course not, Jimin! Of course not! Like what the hell?! I just don't wanna see the asshole!" sigaw ko sa kaniya, agad na nahulaan ang ibig niyang sabihin.

Lumambot ang mga mata niya saka siya humakbang palapit sa akin. His soft stares cradled all of my stigmas and triggered emotions I thought had long ago buried, at nakaka-inis lang kasi nararamdan ko na naman.

Dalawang buwan na ang nakakalipas simula nang mangyari iyon at siyempre, nakalimot na ako! I meant, I no longer got affected by him or anything that involved him! That asshole!

Iba ang galit sa hindi pa nakaka-move on. And it was not as if we had something so deep and serious. What we had was just all our immature adventure and experiments!

Nag-iwas ako ng tingin sa kaniya at ibinalik ang atensiyon sa larawang tinititigan ko kanina para iwaglit sa isipan ko ang tungkol sa lalaking iyon.

A portrait of Jimin and I during his fifteenth birthday, it was captured at the end of the staircase and we were both wearing clothes suited the occasion. I was wearing a silver silky long gown that was halter-top and a pair of silver lacy gloves. He was wearing a silver tuxedo and pants with a black bowtie. His arms was resting around my waist and we were both smiling sweetly.

At that time, I was fourteen years old and was very immature, too insecure that he had to drag me for a picture taking since I was very upset because of his girl visitors but despite of, I didn't deprive our first portrait my sweet smile.

"I won't let him near you, hm."

Hinayaan ko nang hilahin niya ako palapit sa kaniya at marahang niyakap. He pulled me into his safe embrace as he whispered me sweet nothings. Ang mainit niyang hininga ay banayad na dumadampi sa balat ng punong tainga ko. But then, the effect he was giving me again was igniting heat within me… and that wasn't good.

We still had a little and simple celebration to attend.

"You better make sure of that." Kinagat ko ang pang-ibabang labi ko bago ako nag-angat ng tingin sa kaniya. Muli akong sinalubong ng malalamlam niyang mga mata kaya hindi ko napigilan ang pagtitingkayad para maabot ng mga labi ko ang mga labi niya, nawala na ng tuluyan sa isip ko kung nasaan kami dahil gusto kong halikan siya.

He smiled through the contact of our lips as he held my waist and lifted me a bit to deepen the kiss. Ngumiti rin ako nang humiwalay ako sa kaniya.

"I'll beat his ass up, you bet. Gusto mo, palayasin ko na lang siya?" He playfully offered me, wriggling his eyebrows.

"Oh no, I don't wanna ruin the occasion." Umiling ako, nalalasahan pa rin ang natural na lasa ng mga labi niya.

Nagkibit-balikat na lang siya at hinawakan na ang kamay ko para magpatuloy na kami sa paglalakad. Paglabas namin ng hallway ay bumungad sa amin ang malawak na main living room ng Park Mansion.

Tulad ng inaasahan ay naroon nga ang mga bisitang iniisip kong narito ngayon. All heads turned to us as we got their attention.

Agad kong namukhaan si Tito Von katabi si Tita Sammie sa mahabang couch. Mukhang galing sila sa nakakatawang pag-uusap dahil nakangiti silang lahat at mas lumapad pa ang mga ngiti nang makita kami.

"Hannan baby girl! Come here, give me a kiss~" Tumayo si Tita Janna mula sa pagkaka-upo sa isa pang long couch na kaharap lang ng couch na inuupuan nila Tito Von para lumapit sa akin. From behind her, I saw Tita Sammie stand up too. Their spouses remained sitting but both were smiling.

"Hey big man, come here! You should get your cousins in the kitchen, they're trying to cook." I heard Tito Von say to Jimin as I let Tita Janna ambush me with her gentle hug.

"Jaye is with them." Boses naman ni Tito Nigel ang narinig ko nang niyakap ko pabalik si Tita Janna kasabay ng paghalik ni Tita sa pisngi ko.

"How's my baby girl?" she asked me sweetly. Mabilis lang niya akong niyakap dahil sumunod si Tita Sammie. She really used to call me 'baby girl' while Jimin is the 'baby boy'. Madalas siyang pagalitan ni Jimin dahil malalaki na kami pero bata pa rin kung ituring niya kami minsan.

From the side of my eyes, I saw Jimin with his hands dipped inside his pockets silently walk past us to the direction of the kitchen. Hindi ko mapigilang mag-alala dahil nandoon sa kusina ang lalaking iyon. I knew Jimin, he wouldn't think twice to throw a fist to that asshole if something got out of hand.

Nag-aalala ako para kay Jimin. Throwing a fist was fine, hell, I would be glad but not if he got hurt, it was an entirely different thing.

I would freaking raise hell, for real.

"I'm fine, Tita. Happy monthsary po. Hi Tita Sammie!" magkasunod na bati ko sa dalawang ginang. Napansin kong bukod sa nakasuot si Tita Janna ng puting body-hugging dress na pinatungan ng pulang apron ay naka-french bun ang Brazilian hair niya samantalang si Tita Sammie ay nakasimpleng beige raffled-top at black slacks, naka-bun din ang buhok.

Tita Janna a sweetly smiled at me as she held my hand and dragged me to the couch. The wives immediately went beside their husband.

Nilapitan ko si Tito Nigel para halikan sa pisngi at batiin ng happy monthsary kahit na para sa akin, masyadong clingy ang monthsaries. Kasunod ay kay Tito Von naman ako lumapit para humalik din sa pisngi niya.

"How's my beautiful daughter-in-law to be?" Tito Von asked me knowingly, grinning from ear to ear.

Nawala ang ngiti ko dahil doon at napatitig na lang sa nakangiting mukha ni Tito Von, kamukhang-kamukha ang lalaking ayaw na ayaw ko na sanang makaharap pa. Kung hindi ko lang talaga siya kilala ay baka iba na ang naging interpretasyon ko sa sinabi niya ngunit naalala kong wala nga pa lang alam sina Tita at Tito sa mga nangyayari sa amin noon.

And up until now, they were all still up with that.

"Tsk, don't pressure her, Von. You know how difficult she is, hindi nga siya makuha ng anak mo. Isa pa, let them bond. Sa kaniya pa rin naman ang bagsak ni Hannan," saway ni Tita Sammie sa asawa niya bago niya marahang hinawakan ang kamay ko at bahagya akong hinila para paupuin sa tabi niya.

Sa harap namin ay ang parisukat na babasaging mesang pinaglalagyan ng isang bowl ng frozen strawberries at ilang saucers at knives. Napatitig lang ako sa mga prutas na iyon habang unti-unti kong nararamdaman ang paglamig ng sikmura ko dahil sa mga sinabi ni Tita Sammie.

I couldn't believe this. Sinaktan na ako't lahat-lahat ng anak nilang iyon ay wala pa rin silang alam. I could have told Tita Sammie and Tito Von about everything so that they could scold him but I knew more than that.

Wala na akong paki-alam sa lalaking iyon. Not that I would let him near me again. Hahayaan ko na talagang bugbugin siya ni Jimin kapag nagkataon.

"I don't know, hon. Kilala mo rin naman iyang si Mint," Tito Von said in a disappointed tone.

"I don't think Mint and Hannan would work together. Not that our Jimin would let it," natatawang sabi ni Tito Nigel, siguradong-sigurado ang tono.

"Oh yes, you don't have any idea how attached they are. Hannan, how's Jimin and you?" Binalingan ako ni Tita Janna saka matamis na nginitian.

Seriously, it was too stressing. Bakit kasi ako pa ang ginawang babae rito?

Honestly, Tita Janna, Tita Sammie and my mother were all best of friends and I didn't have a say about it, except this one thing. It might sound so cliché and very old fashioned, nagkasundo silang ipagkakasundo ang mga anak nila. I had been really bitter about this, bakit kasi ako pa ang naging babae?

Hindi puwedeng si Ate Milan dahil hindi siya anak ni Mommy, at noon pa mang nabubuhay si Mommy ay labis-labis na ang pagtutulak nina Tita Janna at Tita Sammie sa mga anak nila sa akin. Though Tita Janna was in advantage since Jimin and I were very close to each other.

She didn't need to tell us to bond 'cause we… did.

Bumuntong-hininga ako saka nakangusong binalingan si Tita Janna. "Your son has been stressing me," sumbong ko sa kaniya na nakapagpahalakhak kay Tito Von at Tita Sammie.

Sumama ang timpla ng mukha ni Tita Janna samantalang napapa-iling na lang si Tito Nigel. They were always like this. Para bang parati silang nagkokompitensya sa akin sa pamamagitan ng mga anak nila. Though Mint and Jimin were cousins, since Tita Janna and Tito Von were siblings, they were not really in good terms.

Nakakasama lang naman namin sina Mint at Mira tuwing ganitong may mga okasyon.

"See? My Mint won't ever do that to you, Hannan, oh, poor sweetheart," malambing na sabi ni Tita Sammie sa akin. Dumuko siya sa mesa para dumampot ng isang strawberry at dahan-dahan dinala malapit sa bibig ko.

I opened up and gladly accepted it. "He already did. Trust me, Tita Sammie." Sumandal ako sa backrest, mabagal na nginuya ang strawberry sa bibig at ngumuso habang iniisip ang mga possibleng nangyayari na ngayon sa loob ng kusina kung nasaan sina Mint at Jimin. "Anyways, is Miranda here?"

Mukhang nakabawi na silang lahat sa mga sinabi ko dahil balik na sa pag-uusap sina Tito Von at Tito Nigel. Tita Sammie turned to me and smiled.

"Of course, nasa kusina rin ang isang iyon. You better go there, Hannan. Baka na-stress na rin siya dahil sa dalawang iyon, isama pa si Jaye," ani Tita Sammie at ibinalik nang muli ang atensyon kay Tita Janna para ipagpatuloy ang pag-uusap nila.

Tumayo ako para magtungo na sa kusina kahit na ang pinaka-ayaw kong mangyari ngayon ay ang makita ang Mint na iyon dahil hanggang ngayon ay galit pa rin ako sa kaniya pero naisip ko ring kung naroon na si Miranda sa kusina at kasama sina Mint at Jimin, then she must be having a hard time being a referee between those thugs.

I couldn't expect Jaye to get in between the two since he was a thug too. Mas magugustuhan pa niyang nakikitang nag-aangilan na naman ang dalawa. And above anything else, ayaw ko ring umabot pa na magkasakitan ang dalawang iyon.

I wouldn't take it if Jimin would be hurt.

Nakasalubong ko pa ang isa sa mga maids na may dalang tray kung nasaan ang isang wine at ilang wine glasses na paniguradong para sa kanila Tita Janna.  I turned to the hallway that would lead me to the kitchen. Hindi pa man ako nakakarating ay nakarinig na ako ng mga ingay.

"Hey! HEY! I SAID STOP IT! JIMIN, LET GO OF MY BROTHER!"

"What? Let them, Ate Mira! It's fun!"

Nagmadali ako sa paglalakad nang marinig ko ang patiling boses ni Mira bago ang boses ni Jaye at mukhang may hindi nga magandang nagaganap ngayon sa kusina. I just hoped, I just really hoped they were not killing each other… yet.

Nang makalabas ako ng hallway at marating ko ang kusina ay bumungad diretso sa harap ko ang pagbagsak ng isang lalaking may pula at mahabang buhok habang hawak-hawak ang panga niya. Nakatalikod siya sa akin kaya't hindi niya pa ako napapansin.

"Hannan."

I heard Jimin's restrained voice but my eyes remained looking at that red haired man, the last time I remembered, he had his hair dyed in silver. Unti-unting gumalaw ang ulo ng lalaki para lumingon sa akin. I stepped back as my eyes met those pair of cold dark eyes that I knew, only one guy could always make me feel caught up in my tracks.

His face was a resemblance of Jimin's… they shared the same face though the guy's eyes in front of me were hooded and big.

Mint Drewford. My recent ex-freaking-boyfriend.