Edited and republished.
041419

- Hannan ♥

🔥🔥🔥

Special Chapter

♪ Soundtrack: Starving by Hailee Steinfield ♪

I was sixteen and he was seventeen when Jimin and I first found both of our comfort zones in each other's body. Noon pa lang naman ay komportable na ako sa kaniya. He was my best friend, he was my shoulder to lean on every time I was feeling so down with myself and every time it felt like I didn't have anyone I could seek affection from.

Not Daddy, not him when he seemed to forget what he was to us and what we were to him. It could be Ate Milan, I could always run to her and she would always welcome me with open arms but my sweet sister was also having her own problems and adding up to it would be out of my choices.

I never wanted to be a bother to them so I let myself be a bother to Jimin because I knew he would handle me with so much care and wouldn't ever make me feel that I was a bother. He always treated me like half of his world was all of me, he had always proved me how he could freaking set aside everything because I was more important.

He was no different when in my world. Kagaya niya, ipinaparamdam ko rin sa kaniya na siya iyong kalahati ng mundo ko. It would be too much to say that he was my world when I had both Daddy and Ate Milan, also he couldn't say that I was his world when he also had his family.

So we were the other halves of each other's world. That was more than enough for us.

Also, we both knew that for whatever happened, we both had each other's back. He was my own personal Superman, and I was feeling to be his own Supergirl, minus the costumes, of course.

It was our parents to be honest, pinalaki nila kaming pareho na sobrang malapit sa isa't isa. He would cry with me when I cried, I would do the same for him too. He would hate people I hated, I would do the same for him too. And he would step on the fire of hell for me, and I would do the same too.

Iyon siguro iyong dahilan kaya humantong kami sa pangyayaring iyon.

It could be just because we were both a hormonal teenagers but I knew, we both had been waiting for it. We both wanted it, without the hormones because our hearts were seriously rooting for it. We were just too young and stupid to realize it back then.

Hugging my knees at the deeper corner of my bed's headboard, tears from my eyes flowing nonstop and my throat had been hurting for crying so hard and loud, I again heard a knock from the door.

Manang Percy along with the other maids had been knocking on my door, they had been asking me if I was okay since I arrived home crying.

Mas nanginig pa ang mga labi ko dahil sa sobrang galit saka ako nagpakawala ng mas malalakas na hikbi, mariing ipinipikit ang mga mata para bigyang laya ang mga panibagong luha ko habang umiliing.

"Miss Hannan, tatawagan na po namin ang Daddy niyo o kahit na si Miss Mil—" Hindi na natapos ni Manang Percy ang sinasabi niya nang marinig ko ang pamilyar na boses na hindi kailanman nabigo para patahanin ako.

"Manang, where's she?"

Pero para naman iyong trigger na mas nagpahikbi at nagpaluha pang lalo sa akin na para bang boses pa lang niya ay sapat na para malaman kong nandiyan lang siya na puwede kong pagsumbungan.

Umayos ako ng upo, ibinaba ko sa kama ang mga tuhod ko saka nagpunas ng mga luha habang nakatitig sa nakapinid na pinto ng kuwarto ko.

Jimin was behind that door.

"Sir Jimin, nasa loob siya. Naka-lock ang pinto kaya hindi kami makapasok, mabuti naman at dumating ka…" Boses ulit ni Manang Percy. She sounded relieved. "Pasukin mo, kanina pa siya umiiyak."

"She won't open the door with all of you here. Ako na pong bahala sa kaniya, ihanda niyo na lang po siya ng makakain tapos bababa ako para kunin iyon mamaya."

I hardly bit my lower lip as it quivered when I heard his soft voice again. Dahan-dahan akong bumaba ng kama ko saka marahang naglakad patungo sa pinto. I held the doorknob and waited till the maids were gone. I sniffed so loud I was sure he heard it.

Banayad na mga katok niya ang nagpabilis ng tibok ng puso ko.

"East, c'mon, open the door. I'm here…" Came next was his pampering voice that instantly pampered my upset heart.

Unti-unti kong inikot ang doorknob saka marahang hinila pabukas. It was painfully slow so when his handsome and very comforting figure finally came to my sight, my eyes once again watered as my lips quivered once more. Bago pa man ako muling umiyak ay humakbang na siya papasok saka ako marahang ikinulong sa mga bisig niya.

The sound of the door closing behind him didn't overpower my loud sobs against his chest. Malakas na kumapit sa suot niyang dilaw na sweater ang mga daliri ko habang mas isinusubsob ko pa ang mukha ko sa dibdib niya, ang pamilyar niyang bango na kilalang-kilala ko na ay bahagyang pinagaan ang nararamdaman ko.

His pair of strong arms was quick to lift me up as he walked us towards my bed. "Ssh, he doesn't deserve your tears, east. That fvcking faggot doesn't…" he softly whispered after he had settled us both on top of my bed.

Magkaharap kami habang nakapatong ang mga hita ko sa mga hita niya at nakapalibot sa baywang niya ang mga binti ko. He helped my hands wipe my tears off my face as he chuckled softly when I hiccupped loudly.

"I… I'm n-not crying because of that s-scumbag!" I annoyingly screamed at him in between hiccups that seemed so funny for him because he chuckled again. Natigil na ang mga kamay ko sa pagpupunas ng mga luha ko dahil pumalit na ang mga kamay niya.

"You clearly told me that you broke up with him because he cheated on you, why would you cry then?" Sobrang lambot ng boses niya kaya parang gusto ko na namang umiyak ng malakas.

I wanted him to know how upset I felt, how angry I was and that I wanted to hurt that scumbag for even trying to hurt me when everyone around me couldn't even afford to hurt me.

I was my mother's precious! I was everyone's precious! I… I was Jimin's precious.

Hindi ko rin mapigilang isipin kung ilang beses niyang di-ni-scourage sa akin ang lalaking iyon, hindi naman siya gumagawa ng paraan para hadlangan ako sa mga nakaka-date ko pero madalas niyang sabihin sa aking wala pang lalaking kayang ibigay sa akin ang lahat.

Wala pa…

"I'm u-upset, Jimin. He made me feel like I'm not beautiful e-enough because he found someone to cheat with on me. Jimin, he m-made me feel ugly!" Hinila ko ang parte ng damit niya sa dibdib saka umurong pa palapit sa kaniya. Hinayaan niyang isubsob ko ang mukha ko sa leeg niya at tuluyan na akong puma-ibabaw sa kandungan niya.

"Ay, don't think that." He smoothly caressed my back, slightly pinching my nape also. "No one can make the most beautiful girl in my eyes feel ugly, okay? He's just too blind to see that you're just not a girl who should be cheated on. You're someone who should be kept… you're so precious, Hannan." I felt him kiss my head.

"Y-You know Josephine Romeo? She's not even that beautiful! Her boobs are just a cup bigger than mine and she's just an inch taller than me! I couldn't believe I was being traded with her! I hate it, Jimin!"

Hindi ko kailanman iniyakan ang mga failed relationships na pinasok ko. They were all immature and for-fun only. Kahit itong huli, hindi rin ako umiiyak dahil nasasaktan ako. Umiiyak ako kasi hindi ako makapaniwalang ang lakas lang talaga ng loob ng lalaking iyon na lokohin ako gayong halos sambahin niya ako noon mapansin ko lang siya, at higit sa lahat, niloko niya ako kasama ang hindi naman kagandahang babae!

I wanted my justice! I felt so insulted!

Palaging ako ang tumatapos sa mga relasyong pinapasok ko, kapag ayaw ko na ay tinatapos ko na. Naunahan lang talaga ako ng lalaking iyon dahil gusto ko na rin namang tapusin ang sa amin, bagot na bagot na ako sa kaniya.

Damn, he didn't know how many men who were willing to kill just to freaking slip on his shoes! That scumbag!

"Tell me, what can I do? You want me to fvcking pull his eyeballs out and feed it to him? Tutal hindi naman niya ginagamit ng tama…" He again chuckled but the firmness in his voice was dripping, I knew he wasn't joking.

I arched my head back, my tears were already dried in my face and I intently stared at his handsome face that stared so softly at me too. My girl classmates were all crushing on him, they always gawked at him every time he was coming to get me. They were all admiring and fantasizing of him, they weren't even trying to hide it from me.

Hindi talaga ako malapit sa mga kaklase ko dahil may sarili kaming circle of friends ni Jimin, isa pa, ayaw kong makisalamuha sa kanila dahil pakiramdam ko, gagamitin lang nila ako para mapalapit kay Jimin at sa mga kaibigan niya. Some of my boys classmates were sometimes trying to converse with me but most of them were so afraid to even get near me.

I always got love letters, both for me and for Jimin. Seriously, those girls were trying to use me for their own gain.

Hindi ko rin naman sila masisisi dahil napakaguwapo naman talaga ng best friend ko. He had sleek black hair that always parted in between, revealing his smooth forehead. His pair of small and chinky eyes that housed dark circles was so alluring, everyone would be willing to get drowned, his nose so pointed my fingers were always tempted to bridge it down and his plump cherry lips that looked so soft… they were really soft, I would attest.

Noong mga bata pa kami ay madalas niya akong bigyan ng mabilis na halik sa tuwing magkakahiwalay kami. Every time I slept over their house, he wouldn't forget to climb up of my bed just to kiss me good night, and every time he just wanted me to feel okay, he would occasionally kiss me.

"Okay, Jimin, kiss Hannan now. Her father arrived, they're going home already."

Ginagawa namin iyon noon kasi sinanay kami ng mga magulang namin. What they didn't know though was we carried that habit even until now. Nagkaroon lang kami pareho ng limitations, we both knew that we shouldn't do kissing anymore since we weren't kids anymore so we just decided to do it secretly.

Kaya ngayong nakatitig ako sa guwapo niyang mukha, napagtanto kong hindi ko rin nakikita ang mga sarili naming hindi ganito. I meant, this was us, this was what we were… we were both playful and we both loved it.

"You know, he had only kissed me once. Mouth is the dirtiest part of the human body…" Umiling ako saka nahulog sa pagtatagilid ang ulo ko, ang mga mata ay bumaba na sa mga labi niya. "So I couldn't let him kiss me again but, could you kiss me now so I would feel better?"

Nag-beautiful eyes pa ako sa kaniya para lang pumayag siya. Nang gumuhit ang malaking ngisi sa mga labi niya na naging dahilan ng pagkakawala ng mga mata niya ay bumilis ang tibok ng puso ko.

The brute was too handsome to be true, he might look like Joker, but damn it, he was the handsome version of Joker!

"You said mouth is the dirtiest—"

"I want your mouth!" Bumusangot ako saka binitawan ang damit niya para humalukipkip.

He raised a brow at me, cherry plump lips were stretched in a smile as if he was so amused with me. Ngumuso ako saka sinamaan siya ng tingin kaya wala siyang nagawa kung hindi ang ilapit sa akin ang mukha niya at patakan ng mabilis na halik ang mga labi ko.

"More!" Ungot ko.

"Hannan, I didn't lock the door—"

"He touched my boob." Pinutol ko ang sinasabi niya at inilahad sa kaniya ang isa pa sa pinaka-ipinagngingitngit ko.

The scumbag had only kissed me once, it wasn't a peck. It was a sensual kiss until he arrived at the point where I couldn't let him anymore.

Hindi totoong dahil sa katotohanang ang bibig ang pinakamaruming bahagi ng katawan kaya hindi na ako pumayag muli na magpahalik. The scumbag had got so much from me already, he dared to touch my boob and that was more than enough. Pasalamat nga siya at hindi ko siya kinasuhan ng harassment.

"What the actual fvck, Hannan?!" galit na sigaw ni Jimin na ngayon ay burado na ang ngisi sa mga labi at salubong na salubong ang mga kilay. Lumalabas na rin ang mga buto sa panga niya dahil sa pag-iigting ng bagang niya.

Alam kong hindi niya iyon ikatutuwa kaya hindi ko kaagad sinabi sa kaniya. Baka kung anong gawin niya roon sa lalaking iyon. He let me date guys, but I didn't have a say to whatever he wanted to do to them plus he had so many 'don'ts' for me.

"I didn't like it! It was him, he dared—" Hindi ko na natapos ang sinasabi ko dahil matapos niyang magpakawala ng marahas na mura ay mabilis na niyang inabot ang mukha ko at siniil ako ng mariing halik. It wasn't a peck like what he would always give me every time, it was more than that, it was a sensual deep kiss, better than all the kisses I had ever had.

I smiled in the middle of the kiss as I felt his soft lips move so slowly as if he wanted to teach my steady ones of the rhythm he was doing. My hands once again found the chest part of his chest, instantly clutching as I neared my body to him even more, letting him know that he owned me, all of me.

I wouldn't let any other men have the privilege on my body because it was just him, it would always be just him who I would give access.

"I want that bitch…" I breathlessly tried to speak when his lips were still too busy licking and sucking my lips. "I want that bitch to get cheated on too…"

Napasinghap ako nang maramdaman ko ang mariing paglandas ng hinlalaking daliri niya sa tuktok ng dibdib ko habang nasa gilid ng katawan ko ang kamay niya, nakakapit para ilapit pa ako sa kaniya. He did it again, deeper and more sensual. I could feel my nip getting insensitively hard against my cloth. His lips then started trailing wet and soft kisses on my jaws down to my neck, I had to arch my head back to give him better access.

"Which boob? Left or right?" he dangerously asked me when he shortly latched his lips off my skin. His hot breaths were a tease on my suddenly sensitive skin.

"What… shit…" I cursed loudly when he again dipped down and nipped on a certain part of my neck.

"Tell me which boob he fvcking touched so that I can fvcking trade his fvcking touch with my kisses…" He growled against my skin that made me arch my body, my chest caressing his chest.

"L-Left, but I don't mind you kissing both…" Hinuli ko ang mukha niya para patigilan siya sa paninipsip sa leeg ko, nagdudulot kasi iyon ng kakaibang sensasyon sa katawan ko na hindi ko kailanman naisip na puwede pala.

This was actually the very first time we went up to this point.

Hinalikan ko siya habang nararamdaman kong unti-unti niya akong hinihiga, ang mga binti kong nasa baywang niya kanina ay nalaglag na sa kama habang pumupuwesto siya sa pagitan ng mga ito. He gently lay me down before hovering on top of me, his plump lips were quick to meet my lips again. Hinalikan na naman niya ako kung paano niya ako hinalikan kanina.

No tongue involved but it was very intimate and sweet, I couldn't get enough.

"Why could you be so careless…" he said in a ragged breathe while leaving pecks on my lips, his hands were anchored on both of my sides so he wouldn't put his weight on me. "I allow you to let them kiss you, east but no touching, no fvcking touching. I will fvcking kill that ugly faggot."

Hinayaan ko siya nang gamit ang isa niyang kamay ay i-angat niya ang dulo ng damit ko hanggang sa leeg ko para malantad ang mga dibdib ko. They were covered with black brassiere and were something worth a praise.

I didn't have big boobs but they weren't flat, they were actually just in size for my age.

"Please, don't forget to include the bitch," I said while watching him slowly yet lovingly caress my underboob beneath my bra. I flinched when his fingers finally had contact with it. We didn't often do experiments and explorations into each other's body so it felt so new and very foreign having him on top of me as I just waited for what he would do to me.

I could feel my heart beating so loudly and hardly within my chest, I wouldn't be surprised if he could hear it too.

"It… it feels so new and arousing, Jimin." I honestly told him.

"I feel the same. I don't have any idea they're these beautiful," he answered. Tuluyan na niyang ibinaba ang cups ng bra kong humaharap sa mga dibdib ko saka mabilis na sumubsob sa kaliwang dibdib ko.

The sudden feel of his hot mouth covering my bud instantly awakened millions of hormones I never thought was possible to feel. The daring twirls of his tongue on my sensitive bud brought my legs to close—he was in between so I failed—for the sudden dripping I felt downtown. I even arched my back to willingly give him more of me when he lightly sucked on it, it was continuous I swore, it made me drip.

Hindi pa nakatulong sa init na nagsisimulang mabuhay sa sistema ko nang mahanap ng isang kamay niya ang isa pang dibdib ko, ang mga daliri ay kaagad na pinaglaruan ang tuktok noon.

I was already a panting mess the moment his teeth groped my bud as he pulled, not letting it go right away. Naiyakap ko na lang sa baywang niya ang mga hita ko dahil sa kakaibang pakiramdam na iyon sa pagitan ng mga hita ko saka niya ibinuhos sa akin ang buong bigat niya.

My hands, that I found clutching hardly on the sheets, went up to his hair and grip a handful. Hindi naman siya nagreklamo kaya mas humigpit ang kapit ng mga daliri ko sa mga hibla ng buhok niyang hawak ko habang wala pa rin siyang tigil sa pagpaparamdam sa akin ng kakaibang pakiramdam na iyon.

I knew back then that for wherever our explorations and impulsiveness would reach, I knew I was all ready for it because I was with him. I knew that if we would ever come to that point, I would willingly give myself to him because it was him, it was Jimin Park.

"It hurts… it's painful, J-Jimin…"

I remembered how we almost didn't get to it just because I wasn't prepared for the pain, I remembered painfully taking him whole that I almost cried and almost instantly wanted him out of me, I remembered how he showered me sweet nothings and pampering kisses just so I got myself diverted from the pain.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, east…"

I then remembered feeling pleasure and heaven upon that pain, that it brought us into committing the same thing, all over again.

It was where it started, our secret might have started there but we both knew that our hearts had long ago submitted to each other, longer than we could remember.