I did it. I asked Max to marry me. I'm pretty certain that twenty is to young of an age for me to get married, but I would only live to be twenty one anyway. Besides I don't have the worst of it, Max is going to be a widow when at age twenty. Since it's October 29th, I do get to take Am trick-or-treating, and I get to celebrate thanksgiving with a family. Plus I get to spend Christmas with them. I'll see Am turn fourteen and I'll live long enough to celebrate Max's 20th birthday. I would just have to do it all from the hospital.
I was putting the cream stuff on my stitches when Max walked in.
"I called the minister. He can come tomorrow." She said.
"Cool. He's ok with doing it in the hospital right?" I asked.
"Yes, I checked."
"Good." I stood up and walked over to her. She was reading a patients medical records. I walked up and hugged her from behind. If there was an afterlife I knew I would miss this. I loved her.
I read the medical records over her shoulder. Don't worry I was still a doctor so I was aloud to. Everything on the paper looked very familiar. When I looked at the name at the top, I realized why. She was reading about Am. Her most recent doctors visit showed that she had anxiety and schizophrenia. I knew about that already however I didn't know that the doctors say that mentally she matures at a faster rate than normal. She was approximately as mature as a 30 year old female.
"Guess our little girl isn't so little." I said.
"Guess not. This means that by time she's 20 she'll feel like she's 100." Max responded. She was so smart. It killed me to think she would have to raise my baby girl without me. I was just glad to live a year.
I started playing with her hair. She let it grow when I was asleep. It was down to her shoulders and she looked beautiful. I could tell that she honestly didn't care. At first I was just braiding her hair, but it escalated to the point where I was combing her hair with the comb I kept by my bed. She was asking me why I had a comb.
"Because when I do have my hair I want to comb it." I responded.
"Makes sense." She said.
"And Am let me do her hair. Before she shaved it off."
"I'm willing to bet she didn't shave it off to upset you. You know she loves you. She can't cure your cancer so she wants to make sure you know that you're loved."
"I know." She wasn't always considering the fact that I was sure I would get better. That even against all odds I was certain that I would live.
I laid back down on my bed and drifted off to sleep. I was exhausted. Fighting cancer really takes a lot out of you.
That night I dreamt about Rick. About how he was so kind to me when no one els was. I saw myself as a middle aged man. Holding Rick's hand as he took his last breath. Max came over and laughed when she saw that he died. Am was a teenager and she was trying to comfort me. I watched in horror as the paramedics wheeled Rick away on a stretcher. Next thing I saw was me looking into his coffin. His body was lifeless and he had a stone cold expression on his face. Am cried with me and even said a few words to show her respect. All the while Max was laughing. That was all I heard. Every possible sound was maxed by Max's historical laughs. She thought it was funny that he died. When she looked at me and saw my pain and suffering, she fell on the floor with uncontrollable laughter.
I snapped awake to the sound of silence. It was dark. I got scared. I popped up in a frantic manor. I didn't know what it was but something felt wrong. I ran down the hall to find a doctor.
"Excuse me can you tell me if there's an elderly man named Rick in one of these rooms?" I asked when I finally found a doctor.
"No. No Rick. Why?" The doctor asked.
"What about Max is she ok?"
"Max is fine."
"Did something show up in my medical records?" I was getting confused now. I didn't want to face the only possibility left.
"No?" She was getting suspicious.
"Oh gosh! What room is she in!?"
"Who?"
"Amber Joe May! What room is she in!?"
"104." I ran down the hall and, slid across the floor when I had to make an emergency stop. I looked threw the window on the door to room 104. I saw Am lying in bed. She had tubes up her nose, was hooked up to an IV, hooked up to a heart monitor, and asleep. I pushed the door open with tears welling up in my eyes.
When I reached Am's bed, I was able to hear the heart monitor beating. It was a steady beat and under any other conditions I would have been happy about how healthy the heart beat sounded. Unfortunately I was listening to the heart of my daughter. I was glad she had a steady heart beat. However I didn't like seeing my daughter like this. This was my little girl. She was my child before I even started dating Max.
I don't like seeing anyone like this. It reminds me that I will be in that situation soon. Honestly, if I had to choose between Max and Am, I would choose to see Max like this. It's not that I don't love her. I just need Am more than anything in the world. She is the most important person to me. Right next to Rick. I love Max with my life. Am has just been there longer.
She was asleep. Not moving and barley living. She didn't need this. Her heart rate picked up and she started squirming. She was frantically moving everywhere. She was having a nightmare. I sat her up and held her in my arms. She didn't wake up. She was in a deep sleep. She calmed down a bit when she realized that I was keeping her safe. I sat on the bed a laid her in my arms. I slowly drifted off to sleep with her.