We were in this really neat restaurant eating burgers for breakfast. Mark had just asked me what it's like to have the "disease" I told him exactly what it's like.
"What made get the development?" Mark asked.
"Oh you know. Stuff." I responded.
"What kind of stuff?"
"Stuff with my dad and friends."
"Well what happened with your dad?"
"Well. He forgot that my brother and I existed, he lied to me multiple times, and he told me that people shouldn't care about me unless I tell them to. When he told me that I told him that I need him to love me and to care about me. So in response he told me that you have to earn people's love. But like, what have not done to deserve his love. Being borne should be enough, but no I have to walk across the Atlantic Ocean for his love."
"That doesn't make sense. I've only actually talked to you for one night and I can see easily that you deserve everyone to love you."
"Really?"
"Yeah."
"Thanks
"You're welcome. So what happened with your friend?"
"He lied to me too. Him and I both had crushes on each other so we became friends. But he kept lying to me. Every time I needed to talk to him because people were saying really mean things to me or if something bad happened, he would literally dance away leaving me in the school hallways. So I just quit talking to him much after a while. Then I bought a stuffed animal. And suddenly that's all he cared about because I took the animal to the school dance. But it never mattered how I was doing it only mattered how the animal was doing. Then he complained that I never opened up to him. We had some disagreements and he had his mom call me and tell me why I'm not a real friend and what I needed to do regarding our friendship. So I did what I thought best and decided that we are no longer friends."
"Wow. I don't get people. Your absolutely amazing. Your beautiful, smart, creative, and the kindest person I've ever met. So why would people do that to you?"
"Do you know why I'm so nice?"
"Why?"
"Because I don't want anyone to ever feel the way I feel all the time. Because trust me it's awful. It can all be caused by just one word. That's all it takes. I don't want to be the person that says that one word."
"What do you mean that one word can do it?"
"Well I've experienced first hand that one word, at the right moment, on the right day, to the right person can change the entire world to them. Just one of the many things that I've learned."
"Many?"
"Yeah. Like big things happen in small amounts of time. Actions speak louder than words. Looks can be deceiving, and that the people who really should care about you, won't always even care in the slightest."
It was all true. That all happened. I wish it didn't, but it did.