he's the one...

...who pushed her away

∞

"atsushi-kun," dazai said as he plopped down on his chair, "do you have a girlfriend?"

the weretiger looked up from his tire, a frown forming on his face. "what do you—"

"that girl you've been seeing after work," dazai said, "is she your girlfriend?"

atsushi looked back down, his hands trembling. guilt ate at his core, and he wanted nothing more than to give her the explanation that she deserved.

"she... we aren't together," atsushi said, looking at dazai's— surprisingly— serious face.

"what happened?"

atsushi hesitated at first, not sure if he even wanted to say it out loud. "i pushed her away."

dazai quirked an eyebrow. "you pushed her away?"

"i didn't want to hurt her!" he said in defense, standing up. he froze, then sat back down.

"i'm a monster... i didn't want to accidentally hurt her... so i started to ignore her. remember when i would leave really late? that was to avoid walking with her.

"and i wouldn't answer her calls or reply to her messages. i wouldn't even answer the door if it was her. i hadn't seen her days... and that's when i got a letter at my door. it was from her."

"what did it say?" dazai asked, leaning forward in his chair.

"long story— or should i say letter— short, she was leaving me. she didn't want to force me to talk to her or see her. she wanted to move on."

dazai wasn't surprised by atsushi's tears; he saw it coming.

dazai leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms. "do you regret your actions?"

atsushi shook his head. "no... after all, i am a monster, and there's no escaping that."