Three months later

I had just stepped off the private jet, with a major hangover. The paparazzi were bombarding me with questions on why I had disappeared.

Randy followed after me and wrapped his arm around me as we made our way through and got into the SUV.

We had flown back from Paris where I had been spending my three months off. I needed to be away from the States, I had certainly made headlines with my partying but I actually didn't care at all and it was the only way I could forget about Roman who hadn't contacted me once. Well I did throw my phone into the river on a boat ride so maybe he had.

'' These two days have been pretty crazy. So this is your lifestyle now?''

I looked out of the window to the city while we were driving to Kim's house to have lunch.

''My lifestyle has always been like this, don't give me a lecture please. You were the one who decided to fly down''

''Because I was concerned cause all I saw were these reports of you partying the night away in different clubs and bars, and since your phone was always dead and no one could contact you I figured I should track you down. And your hair went back to purple, I knew there was trouble.''

'' You forgot about my first tattoo!'' I lifted up my sweater to reveal my tattoo on the side of my stomach '' Live life to the fullest''

He rolled his eyes and looked out of the window.

●●●

'' So what made you go back to purple? '' Kim asked as she continued eating.

'' I decided I needed a change again, you like?''

''Yes it really suits you. So you ready to face everyone at the arena tonight?''

'' No but I have to go. I have been gone so long...''

'' But wouldn't they give you more time off since Roman is also out of action?''

'' Out of action, what do you mean?''

'' He had an emergency surgery a few weeks ago. He's still backstage but he cant fight right now though, so basically he's on vacation. If you had picked up your phone you would've known'' Randy commented.

I rolled my eyes, I wanted to call Roman right now but it wasn't the right time, I really hoped I wouldn't see him.

'' Guys please, lets just go to the arena.''

●●●

'' Mia! Your hair!'' I walked into my sister's office.

Randy and Kim had gone to his locker room.

'' I missed having it purple, I felt like being rebellious again''

'' I can see so''

I was wearing a tight-fitting mini black dress with platforms. '' Do you know where Roman is so I know that I shouldn't go there''

I sat on the couch and she followed. '' I think he'll be in the green room recording his message when he gets here. So you guys have still not spoken?''

I shook my head and took the magazine lying on the table and read through it.

''He asked for you , you know?''

I looked up at her.

'' He was sharing an hotel room with Dean and obviously Dean rode with him and through the pain, he kept telling Dean to call you. But your phone went straight to voicemail and even after the surgery he kept asking why you were taking so long to get there. Dean called me and Paul the entire time asking if we knew how to reach you or where you were at that time, but we obviously didn't. Mia I know you ended things with him because of his parents, but you need to speak to him''

'' No, I'm sorry but I cant face him. I know that once he returns I should act like the perfect girlfriend on screen , but off? We are done... He doesn't trust me after everything I have tried so many times. The constant fighting , he made me a better person but its time to realize that I always mess things up and people's lives, I have no filter and the more I try to hide it the more damage I do. So right now in my life Steph I honestly don't care about love and shit, he's better off without me.
Every guy is.. My heart is owned by so many and sure I am in love with him but can I honestly say that my feelings for Randy are gone? If I am completely honest with myself then no.... I love Roman so much it tears me up inside and he deserves so much better than me. Maybe him and Jenna can work things out again. I mean he is probably staying there now while he is off to be with Lucy.''

My tears were flowing and I brushed them away, '' He just deserves better than a screw up if he knew about my past, he would look at me differently. I'm just not good for him and deep down his parents know that, I mean look at my track record with guys. Sure they loved me but as a woman for their son? I'm not that person'' I turned to see Stephanie crying as well, she reached out to hug me.

'' You have to stop being so hard on yourself, he loves you so much and the fact that you don't feel worthy of him shows just how much you love him. Mia, you are not a screw up. Everyone has baggage hun, the person that you are has brought so much happiness to everyone's life Mia...''

I pulled away and got up, "I need to get to a bathroom and wash my face while its still empty backstage"

She nodded.

I could feel my mascara running down my face, it was a mistake coming back, everyone would be mentioning him. I looked down so that my hair could cover my face, the last thing I needed was one of the workers getting a picture of me like this.

I heard Roman's voice coming out of the room ahead.

I walked so fast by it hoping that he hadn't seen me, but then again its not like he would've come after me anyway.

Well I was wrong.

I heard him jogging after me and I felt an arm on my shoulder which caused me to stop. I wiped my cheeks as fast as I could before turning around with a smile on my face.

I don't know who I was kidding ,he knew me well enough to be able to tell that I was crying.

'' Hi '' I whispered.

He looked down, clearly bothered by my emotional state and then he looked directly into my eyes.

He was about to say something but I interrupted. '' I heard about your surgery, you feeling better?''

'' Yeah I'm okay, I'll be better once I can wrestle again''

I hugged myself and looked the other way, I just wanted to leave.

'' I'm sorry for what I said that night. I wasn't thinking clearly, I just love you so much that the fact that you wanted to leave...''

'' Its okay if you hate me for ending things Roman. You were right, I do threaten to end things when the going gets tough its...''
'' I could never hate you Mia, I am in love with you. I turned the anger that I had for my parents onto you. I should never have let you leave. When I was lying in hospital all I wanted was you, to hear you laugh, your lame jokes. To feel your kisses, you didn't mess up I did. You were being completely selfless and I was being selfish by being angry at you for it''

He moved closer and I moved back.

'' I need to go...''

'' Mia don't do this again.. '' his voice begged me.

'' I'm not good for you Roman, we're not good for eachother, I love you so much that it destroys me every single time we have a fight. I become this mess that parties every night and drinks my sorrows away because that is the only way I know how to deal with the pain. Every single time whether its from Dean or your cousins they'll be like 'I've never seen Roman like that, I've never seen Roman get so emotional like that'
I have changed you and made you like me, made you into someone who just breaks down. I have hurt you so many times whether it be with Paul or Randy even if I apologise or I don't mean it. That look in your eyes when you tell me to forget about it tells me that it hurts you...that's all I ever do and its unfair for you to be stuck with someone who does that''

He looked into my eyes. '' Mia I'm a big man. I'm a father and I am deeply in love with you, if you think pushing me away will change that, then you are wrong cause it wont... ''

'' Roman I cant do this anymore ''

'' So you are not in love with me then? Is that what you are telling me because by walking away right now that's what it feels like''

'' You know that isn't true Roman its..''

'' Hey Roman we need you in here now'' One of the camera guys came out and as Roman turned to reply to him.

I walked away as fast as I could I knew he couldn't come after me.