H E' S M I N E

C H A P T E R – T W O

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Neither Jay nor Troy knows about Xander and I. No one does and sometimes I wish we weren't a secret, but we are and I guess I have to deal with it because I really like Xander. To the public, I'm a single girl without a care in the world, but in reality, I'm not single. I have him and he has me, and that's what's important, right?

Xander and I started this at the beginning of senior year. He was with Chelsea longer, but he obviously got bored of her. He isn't really a bad guy; I mean he probably just doesn't want to break her heart or something. He's never actually told me the reason why he hasn't dumped the bitch yet. But I can hardly wait for the day he does.

Our relationship isn't only about sex, if that's what you're thinking. He didn't just find me one day and we had sex. It's more than that. I mean, of course the sex is great, but after, we have conversations like a normal couple. He knows a lot about me and I to him. At school, I have to hate him, which sucks ass, but I'm a good actress.

I'm currently sitting up in bed, with my phone in hand, texting Jay. I still need to have a private conversation with him. He's going to deny everything, but it will all be true. I obviously cannot do that via text, but I need a time when Troy isn't here. I don't keep secrets from my friends, so I'm hoping I have this talk quickly so everyone can be in the know afterwards.

A knock on my window has me looking up and putting my phone down. Xander stood outside on my small balcony with a grin on his face. He could have simply opened the glass door and step inside, but he never does that. He always knocks. I roll my eyes and went to open the door for him to come inside. "Goodnight, darling," he smirks as he pulled me in to peck my lips.

"Don't you have a girlfriend you should be calling 'darling'?" I ask him, stepping back a bit. Xander stepped forward, his hands hooked around my waist.

"You're my girlfriend," he smiled. I laughed softly, keeping in mind that Spencer and my mum are asleep. It's around ten at night, but it's really quiet. I don't want to be the idiot to make noise because I'm laughing. I sit on my bed and Xander stood between my legs. I run my hands along his waistline and glanced up at him. "I think sometimes you're hornier than me," Xander laughed. I rolled my eyes, "I didn't want to do anything, I was just teasing."

"Lies," his smile remained. Xander is never like this with Chelsea. He always seems so gloomy with her. I just can't seem to understand why he hasn't left her yet. It's really annoying. It makes me feel like he actually has feelings for her and I mean nothing.

I look to my fluffy, white rug on the ground. Now I feel like her. I want him to tell me that I'm his and he's mine, because now I feel a bit unsure. Does he even want to be with me? Will he ever leave her for me? Or will I remain in the dark? I hate being in the dark. Oddly enough I like the spotlight. I like being on top, of everything.

"Baby, what's wrong?" asked Xander. I look up at him, "Do you treat her like this too?"

"Shae, please don't do this tonight." He sighed and took a seat next to me. I moved away a bit, but Xander only moved closer to me. He took my hand in his and I just know he's only going to tell me a bunch of shit that I really don't want to hear. "Just tell me why you won't break it off with her. It's not like you're married or whatever."

Xander lets out a breath and shrugged his shoulders. He took off his shoes then stood up to strip down to his boxers. How great, he wants to ignore me now. Honestly, I just want to lay down right now. Xander is annoying me a lot right now. He lays in my bed, his eyes never leaving me. I feel his eyes on me as I stand up to walk out the room to the bathroom.

After washing my face and using the bathroom, I walk out of the bathroom.

"Come here..." he requests as I walk across my small room, finding something to do so I wouldn't have to acknowledge him. "Please, Shae, just come lay with me."

I cave and look back at him. He wore an apologetic smile and had open arms. I stare into his eyes and bite my bottom lip. I could never say mad at him. He is by far the most charming guy I've met and forgiving him is so easy sometimes. We never actually argue over something important, it's mostly stuff like when he offers to do something for me then never fucking does it, or he sleeps on the wrong side of the bed. No matter where we sleep, I take the right side and he's left. He is always complaining about that and insists on sleeping on the right. But I can't sleep on the left. I guess the left side is haunted or something. Another major thing we argue about is the whole Chelsea topic, but we try our hardest to abstain from those conversations.

Except that's really hard to do. How am I supposed to abstain from that when every day I have to see him with another girl because for some reason he can't dump her. I walk to the bed and rest my head on his chest and pull the covers over us, with his help. "Do you know how that makes me feel? Like to see you with her..." I say to him. Xander's hand made tiny circles on my back as he said, "I'm sorry, love..."

"Just tell me why you won't break up with her," I continue.

"Okay," he answered, "Chelsea has confidence issues. I mean she needs someone there to be by her, and unfortunately that person is me. Her family expects me to be some kind of knight in shining armor or something for her. I can't just dump her. She's been through some things that kind of... broke her down."

"Well find someone else for her or something. I want you," I look up at him.

"I can't find someone else for her, Shae," Xander laughed softly, "She has to build her confidence... She needs a friend. Like a best friend. She basically has no one besides me." I hate that Xander is so caring. He actually cares about all this stuff. No other guy would care about this; they'd just dump her. No once gives a shit about her family or her issues.

I bit my bottom lip. "Find her a bestie, then dump her."

"It's not that easy... Everyone knows how she is," he rolls his eyes.

"I've been meaning to ask you; why did you even get involved with her in the first place?" I raise my eyebrow, a smile threatening to form. This would be an interesting story, as interesting as ours. Xander laughed softly, "She may be really lame and has low confidence, but she is really pretty. And when I saw her, I was immediately attracted."

"Seriously? You got stuck with her because you were thinking with your dick?"

"Hey! I was not..." he lied. I rolled my eyes. Chelsea is gorgeous, she has an amazing body and a perfect face. I can understand why he acted the way he did when he saw her, but damn! He should have gotten to know the chick first before doing whatever he did.

"When did you meet her parents?" I asked him.

"Like a month after."

"A month?" I gasp. Didn't he realize something wasn't right throughout that time? Or that it was way too soon to meet her parents? Xander chuckled, "In my defense, she was really good in bed. So I was sort of blinded."

I narrow my eyes at him, "Was she as good as me?"

"No, baby, no one can compare to you," he grinned and kissed me. I breathe in and rest my head on his chest once again. "You two don't do anything again, right?"

"What? Like fuck?" he asked, "No. I already told you that."

"Well it seems so. You kiss and shit in the halls like there's no tomorrow..." I scrunch up my face but he obviously couldn't see me. "It's acting, Shae."

"You don't enjoy it, right?" I ask, just to make sure. He's told me these things a million times but I just need to make sure he isn't slowly going back to her. It's him and I, not her. "Uh no, I don't."

"Why did you say 'uh'?" I furrow my brows. I feel him shrugging his shoulders, "Because..."

"Because what?" I turn to face him. I sat up. I don't know if I'm confused or angry, or both. God dammit, Xander, you ruined it. "Shae, relax. You know I only want you, right? She's nothing compared to you, I just can't break her heart like that."

"Fine. I will," I fold my arms over my chest. Xander reached up and pulled my arms. I groan softly and lay on him again. "You really are a dick," I say to him.

"It's not the first time hearing it."

"Which means it's obviously the truth," I laugh softly.

"Listen, babe, I'm going to ask you a favor." he says to me. I furrow my brows. I hate doing favors. They are always shitty, and I feel like I never benefit. I nod my head against his chest for him to continue. He did, "I just need Chelsea to have a friend..."

"No," I immediately answer. I move off of him and go on my side of the bed. "I'm tired."

"Baby, please, just hear me out," he lays next to me and hugs me waist, pulling me to him. His lips were at my neck and his breath was on my skin, making me want to just turn around and kiss him, but I refuse to do that. This is definitely one of the horrible favors. I don't want to be her friend, she's way too boring and I just don't like her. Plus, the major fact of her being with him and whatnot, that just screams 'NO!'.

"No, Xander. I'm not going to do that."

"Listen, after she gets an outgoing friend like you she'll realize it's okay to be there for yourself and have confidence, then she wouldn't have to be so dependent on me and I could dump her and she wouldn't hurt and my conscience would be clean."

"Yeah," I turn around to look at him, "And what about me?"

"You could drop her after and she'd be strong and whatnot."

"Xander, your plan makes no sense," I honestly tell him. I am convinced that he just thought of that crap. Guys are so idiotic sometimes.

"Yes, it does. You basically prepare her for the break up in a twisted way so when it happens she'd be okay," he continues with this silly plan of his.

"And when exactly do you plan on dumping her?" I question.

"Before graduation," he says. We're in May now, Grad is basically a month away. He expects me to transform a girl who's spent her entire life like a dork, into someone like me in just a month. How fucked up could he get?

"Zen, you aren't serious. I can't do that..." I say to him. He scoffed, "Babe, you can do anything. You're Shae Vega, AKA Ms. never-give-up, Ms. Perseverance and persistence, Ms. Can do bad all by herself, Ms. Capable of anything..."

"Mrs. Wilde," I finish for him. He nods his head and kissed my lips, "that too."

I laugh and roll my eyes, "Okay, so when do I start?"

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