H E' S M I N E

C H AP T E R – T W E N T Y - O N E

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"Is she still not talking to you?" Jay asked me as he munched on a potato chip. I groaned loudly. I miss Chelsea's weirdness. And I know I said I don't want her to talk to me again, but I kind of do. Chelsea is actually a really good friend, minus the talkative thing. Plus, she's building her confidence and she looks independent as she broke up with Xander. I'm so proud of her and I wish I could tell her that.

Jay's bedroom floor is so hard, but I feel too lazy to get up. I should call her and apologize already, right? Speaking of apologizing, I have to talk to Jake. I considered us just friends with small benefits, but I don't know if he considered it more. So I should just be honest with him.

"Nope," I shake my head as a reply.

"You know, I am so curious to see how she's going to act when she realizes you've been fucking around with her boyfriend," Jay rolls his eyes and Troy slapped him on the arm. "Stop it, you're discouraging her form being honest."

"No, I'm just being real. Chelsea would hate her," Jay chuckled as he said this, "well that is if she even liked Xander in the first place."

"She did like him. Like she went through some stuff and I guess Xander was there to help her out of it. That was one of the reasons why he refused to dump her," I inform them. I'm not going to tell them about her brother, that would only make her hate me more.

"Wow," Troy says. I nod my head. Chelsea doesn't speak to any of us. I think she should at least talk to Troy and Jay because they are actually really, really good friends towards her. If she doesn't want to be my friend, fine, but she deserves good friends like them. Everyone deserves a Troy and Jay.

I glance up at them on the bed. They were holding hands and Troy was leaning on Jay's shoulder and I think they were talking softly. I saw their lips moving. I didn't even realize I was smiling until I was snapped into reality by my phone vibrating on my chest. I sat up and answered the phone.

"Hey, Jake," I smile. I can't deny the fact that I actually like Jake. And it's not just because he's an excellent kisser. There's more to it. I guess I just really care for personality in a guy, and he has a great one. He isn't chasing sex like most guys. If we'd known each other longer, he'd be perfect boyfriend material.

"Hi, love. What are you doing?" he asks me. I look up at the guys.

"I'm with Jay and Troy. Why? What's up?"

"I've been thinking..." he says slowly. I want to laugh right now, and I just don't know why.

"Yes, me too."

"Really?" he sounds surprised, "Would you like to meet me somewhere?"

"Uh sure. Where?" This meeting can go two ways, he can tell me something that would be really exciting for him, but suckish for me, or something that's exciting for both of us. Or maybe it might just be me getting happy. After Jake told me where to meet him we both hung up.

I face them and began talking, interrupting their lovebird conversation. "Jake wants me to meet him," I tell them.

"Are you going to dump him?" Troy asked me. I shrug, but before I could answer, Jay said, "Although you barely had anything."

"Uh I'll see... I don't really know what might happen when I get there. He said he was thinking...?" I asked in a confused voice. What does that even mean? Guys are so fucking weird when it comes to things like thinking. They never do it right.

"Okay, well good luck in your love lives," Jay smirked.

"I only have one love life."

"And that's Xander," Troy completes with a wide grin. Neither of them judged me or criticized me when I told them Xander and I were back together. They were both actually really supportive. I think they like Xander as my boyfriend more than I do. I'm glad though. The worst thing is having your best friend hate your boyfriend then you have to choose. In all honesty, I'd totally choose Jay and Troy. I love Xander, but I will always find another guy. I could never ever find another pair of guys like Troy and Jay.

"Okay, guys, uh I'm leaving. I'll call you guys when I hear the big news," I cross my fingers.

"Sure thing."

"Troy, are you staying here?' I ask as I stand to my feet. His eyes follow me up, but then leaves to meet Jay's. "Yes."

"Okay, well uh I'll probably be back. If I'm not coming, I'll call you guys, yeah?" I pick up my back and step back to the door. They both nodded their heads at me, but I could tell they were too into each other to care about what I had to say. It's okay though, I totally expect that from two love birds. I leave jay's room and walk down the hall. I was surprised when I saw Jay's mum walking through the halls with an actual laundry basket. I wanted to smile at her, but it would have been too fake. So I just walk past her. I can't believe she actually have the audacity to call herself a mother and actually do motherly stuff. Hell, I'm a better mother to Jay than she could ever be. I mean it's not even about preparing food or giving him money, she is barely ever around. Jay needs emotional support from his family, mother especially. However, Jay really loves his mum, no matter what. That's understandable I guess because that's his mother. No matter what she does (or doesn't do) he will always have a love for her.

I skip down the stairs to the front door and exit quickly. I went to my car. We decided to meet at his place. I guess it would be so much easier to meet at his instead of a random place. Plus, I don't need Jake and I to be talking with Spence and my mother at home. They are way too annoying to have a boy over. Bottom line is, meeting at his place is perfectly fine for me.

After following the directions perfectly, I parked on his street. His driveway was empty but I thought maybe his parents might come home and want to park in their driveway. That is if they have a car. But then again why would they have a driveway if they don't have cars.

God dammit, Shae. What the hell?

I step out of the car and walked to the front door. I ring the doorbell and was surprisingly patient. Although I kind of wasn't. I was tapping my feet on the ground as I waited. Which was for like two minutes, then he appeared at the doorway. He wore a black tank top with graphics on it and a pair of skinny jeans. He was bare footed. I smiled at him, realizing I have never been to his place. It's not bad or anything, it's actually pretty nice. I guess it's expected to at least see each other's homes.

Jake allowed me in and led me to his living room and I took a seat. I don't think the mood was awkward, I actually enjoyed it. I mean, his house is really nice, his sofa is comfortable, so yeah, this is pretty relaxing. Though we must talk sometime. "You have a really nice house," I start the conversation safely. Jake laughed softly and ran his fingers through his hair, "Thanks."

"So," he continued, "I know."

"Uh know what exactly?" I furrow my eyebrows. Jake looked down then shook his head, "well your boyfriend-"

"Oh god, no. What happened?" he doesn't look injured. I really hope Xander didn't do anything. I begin to apologize, it's like a fricking reflex, "I'm so sorry, Jake. I didn't know Xander would-"

"He didn't do anything, Shae," I could tell he was feigning a chuckle. I bite my bottom lip and he continued, "Do you like him?"

"Uh yeah..." I shove hair behind my ear.

"So why do you do this? It's like the second time." He wasn't angry, he just seemed confused and a little hurt. I wouldn't have blamed him if he was angry, he deserves to hate me. I'm a fuck up and I drag everyone into it.

"I'm so sorry, Jake. Like really. I mean, I guess I just wanted him to hurt."

"So you used me?"

"Fuck no," I quickly answer, "I mean... yeah, but it... I..." I stopped when I realized it made no sense to lie. He already knows. "You hate me, right?"

"I want to," he says with a nod of his head. I took in a small breath. He really is a good guy and he seriously deserves someone other than me. A girl who would love him as much as I know he would love her. That obviously isn't me, I love someone else.

"Look, I really am sorry. I know its fucking hard to believe, but it's true. I know I used you and an apology doesn't really help but I guess you deserve it because you aren't a bad guy."

"Thanks," he nodded his head.

"And if it makes you feel any better, I'll fucking kill Xander because I wanted to tell you my way and he fucked up shit by being so idiotic and stupid," I roll my eyes, cursing Xander wherever he is right now. All seniors are not in school. It's the last week of school for us, we're leaving. Graduation is Thursday and Prom is Friday night. No one is actually going to go to school.

"Would you like a hug?" I raise my eyebrows hopefully. Jake laughed but shook his head, no. I pout but leaned over and hugged him anyway. Eventually he hugged me back, which was my goal. I wasn't going to let go until I got a hug in return. After I pulled away I said, "I'll see you at prom?"

"You aren't attending graduation?" he furrowed his eyebrows. I shook my head with a smile, "They'll mail it to me."

"Hmm, okay. Well see you at prom."

"Do you have a date?" I asked.

"Nope. It's cool, though. You're going with Xander, yeah?"

"No. I already told you I'm going with my brother," I laughed. Jake laughed along, "I thought you were kidding."

"Nope, I'm serious."

"Wow, okay," he smiled. I sighed then stood up. He did also. When we reached the door, I kissed his cheek and smiled at him. It feels good to be honest. I just wish I could be honest with everyone. I'm still waiting for that day. But until then, I guess I won't die. I went to my car, content that Jake is another person I don't have to lie to. However, the main person who I hate lying to isn't speaking to me. So even if I want to tell her, she won't even pass me a second glance.

In my car, I called Jay and Troy and told them I was going home.