H E' S M I N E

C H A P T E R – F O U R

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I got dressed to leave for Jay's place at around five in the afternoon. My mum is still at work obviously, and won't be back until tomorrow. Usually she's home on Saturdays, but we don't know what could happen tomorrow. I would like her to be here, I could really use some motherly advice on being friendly. I think I missed that lesson when I was younger.

"Spencer, don't wreck the house!" I call as I exit my room to bang on his door. He threw something at the door and I stepped back. "Don't worry, sis, I got it. It's only a few friends."

"It's never just a few friends," I roll my eyes just as the doorbell rang. He shouted for me to get it. I only decided to go down and get it because I'll have to go downstairs to leave, so I'm not exactly doing Spencer a favor. I skip down the stair, but then realized I had to go back up because my phone is still in my room. There is no way I'm leaving my phone with Spence potentially hosting a party in the house. No way.

I go to the door first and pull it open. Chelsea and Xander greeted me. Strangely, she wore a smile. That's a new thing. "Hey, you're the girl from the bathroom, right?" She grinned. I nod, "Yep. Spence is upstairs, he'll be right down." I only look at Chelsea as I opened the door wider for them to come in. They're awfully early, I wonder why. I close the door and lead them to the living room. Chelsea asked, "You aren't staying?"

"No. I uh I have to go out," My eyes flicker between them. It has become awkward so I decide to just turn around and go back upstairs for my phone. Spence is coming down, and he basically runs into me then begins to laugh. I roll my eyes and continued my way up.

In my room, I grabbed my phone, then looked around to make sure I don't want to carry anything else. I wonder if I'll be sleeping over. I guess that all depends on if Spence is actually throwing a party. I don't want to come home tonight to a loud house and drunken people. But if it's just his close friends or whatever, then sure. I would be able to sleep...

I turned and began to call him, but ended up only having my mouth open like an idiot. Xander stood at my door, his hands behind his back holding the door knob. He wore a playful smile, but all I could do was roll my eyes. "Why are you up here when your 'girlfriend' is down there."

"Because I totally prefer you," he says as I walk to him. Xander just seems so happy now, in contrast to how he seemed when he was with Chelsea. I pecked his lips softly and pull away, but he obviously had other plans. His arms wrap around my waist and he kissed me again. His tongue swiped my bottom lip, asking and successfully gaining entrance. The kiss deepened as he turned us round so I was pressed against the door. Xander began to kiss down my neck, sucking my tender skin.

I stopped him, saying, "Jay and Troy would question me about it..."

He bit his bottom lip as he stared at me. His eyes flickered between my eyes and lips. I rest my hands on his waist and stared down. "I have to go, okay?" I looked up and kissed his cheek.

"Hey, you upset or something?" He asks, furrowing his eyebrows. I shake my head and turned around to open the door. The hallway was empty and I walked out the room. I looked behind me, finding Xander walking into the bathroom. I hate that she's here. Why did he even bring her? I'm positively sure Spence hates her. That entire clique hates her. When will she realize she should just dump Xander and leave. Gosh...

I get out of the house really quickly and to my car. I text Jay I'll be there soon, seeing as his house isn't really far from mine. And him and Troy are basically neighbors. Tonight, I know Jay isn't actually planning for us to stay in. He would want to go out and whatnot, it's just how he is, him and Troy. They hate staying in their houses.

Upon reach Jay's house, I park the car and walk to the door. Jay answers and informs me that Troy isn't here, although he lives like one house away. I'm glad Troy isn't here yet, I still haven't talked to Jay and now is the time. His parent went out to dinner so we're alone. Jay is lucky enough to be an only child. Everything revolves around him in his family.

"Jay, can I ask you something, and you like have to answer honestly..." I say as we both take a seat on the couch. Jay already was drinking and I only shook my head at that. Jay nodded at me and I smiled, "You have a crush, don't you?"

He opened his mouth to say something, but I interrupted, "Don't deny it, because it's obvious."

"Okay, fine. I like Troy, so what? It's not like I have a chance, he still sees us as friends and he doesn't want a relationship," he says. I was surprised when he just admitted it. I got comfortable and grinned, "Jay, why didn't you tell me this! Oh my gosh, I could totally set you two up."

"No, Shae, don't. I want him to like, like me back you know, for me. Not because you went to his house with an axe," Jay rolled his eyes. I laughed. Troy wouldn't even fall for that, he knows I'm on shit and would only slam the door in my face.

"Okay, so when are you going to tell him?" I pressed. Jay shrugged, "Probably never. I want him to realize it himself. Like there was a movie where the guy liked the girl and he didn't tell her but she eventually figured it out and they totally lived happily ever after."

I furrowed my brows. "I'm one hundred percent sure that's not a movie, Jay."

"It doesn't matter. The point is, Troy will figure it out and then we'll go on from there," he shrugs and sips his drink. I nod. Moments later, Troy opened the door and entered the house. His smile and happiness radiated throughout the entire house, especially on Jay, who only began to look this happy when Troy entered. He stood up to hug his future boyfriend, and I did also.

"Okay guys, tonight, we're hitting the club!" exclaims Jay. I smile and nod excitedly. Jay and Troy are the best people to have as friends when partying. They know how to have a good time.

"Who's driving?" asks Troy. I look to Jay and he looked to Troy. I don't think any of them want to drive. I clear my throat, "If I drive to go to the club one of you have to drive back."

Troy laughed, "That's the issue, Shae."

I groan, "Okay, fine, I'll be the loser to drive to and from. Now get in," I planned to get wasted tonight with my gay best friends, but that is obviously not going to happen. Instead, I'll be taking care of them, how great. Maybe tonight they can both get really drunk and make out with each other or something, because I really want Troy to open his brown eyes and see that Jay is crushing big time.

We drive to their favorite club in silence. I actually love coming here. These guys are by far the best set of people I've ever hung out with (beside troy and Jay of course). We enter the club and a smile appears on my face. Everyone here is just so happy and the music is booming, it just has that gleeful feel to it. Jay and Troy quickly get lost and I immediately went to the bar. I'm only going to have like one drink, then I'm going to dance. If I have more than one drink, then I won't be able to drive.

"Hey Sean," I greet as I walked to the bar. The tall, built guy grinned at me, "Hey girl, what would you like tonight?"

"Uhm just a beer, thanks." Sean and I actually have a really good relationship and he just accepts my fake ID. I love him for that. Plus, it's just like one drink tonight.

"No problem, babe," he says then turns around to get me the beer. I keep my eyes peeled for any guys who is trying to hit on Troy, that's Jay's property. I just hope Troy doesn't hit on anyone either. That might potentially just break Jay, although he would hate to admit it. I take the beer and nodded a thanks to Sean. I sat with my back against the bar, sipping my beer and nodding my head to the catchy tunes.

"Damn," Sean says from behind me as a guy passed, "He's hot. You think he would go for the bartender?"

"Of course! Sean, you got the goods boy," I smile at him. He looked a lot more confident and when the guy finally came to the bar, he began to make conversation. I excused myself and went to find my friends. Oddly enough they were dancing together, with some other guys surrounding them.

"Hey guys!" I exclaim as I make my way to them. Jay grinned at me, "Hello Shae!"

"Hey Shae," the others mumbled or at least something of that sort. I laughed as I began to dance. It feels so great to dance here without stupid ass perverts watching you from a distance. I feel so safe with these guys. I lift my arms up as I dance, Troy and some other guys joining me. We're all dancing like a bunch of fishes out of water, but none of that shit matters.

Hours later, after I begin to get a killing pain in my feet, I decided to take a seat. A stumbling Jay walked to me at the bar, his eyes on every guy that passes him. He is obviously hammered. Troy came next, except he wasn't as half as drunk as Jay. We decided it was time to go. Two guys helped us with Jay to get him to the car and Troy thanked them both with a kiss on the cheek. Troy and I entered the car, allowing Jay to sleep in peace at the back.

While driving, I notice Troy continuously looking back at Jay. I bite my lip as I glanced at him. His eyes screamed that he cared a lot about Jay. I don't think I have to ask him; I just know he likes him back. He just needs to tell him now, or vice versa.

"Did you have fun?" I asked him. Troy looked to me, "Of course! My gosh, I feel like tonight was definitely the best."

"And why would you say that?" I question with one eyebrow rose. I glance at him to see a blush forming on his cheeks. Troy smiled, "Well I was admiring a guy from afar for the past few weeks and tonight he gave me his number!"

"What?" I tried to sound happy, but it didn't come out like that. It sounded like a mixture of shocked and angry and confused as to why?

"Trust me, Shae, he's a good guy. You'll love him."

"Uh yeah, of course. As long as your happy..." I tell him. Gosh, I feel horrible now. I know how Jay feels about Troy, but I also know that Jay might never get a chance because Troy is into another guy. I'm tore between telling him what I know, or not telling him. In both cases, when Jay finds out he'd be heartbroken. I know it's just a crush, but I saw a movie when a girl had a crush and he found out and then they got married happily ever after.

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"Why the hell are you in my room?" I shout, making them immediately snap out of their sleep and Spencer rushing to me. He cursed softly. They were basically stuck together, with his chest to her back and his arm wrapped around her waist. I'll admit, I felt a pang of jealousy as I saw them, but I was mostly angry.

"Uhm, sorry, Spencer said we could sleep here. I didn't want to sleep with all those guys so-" I interrupt Chelsea. God dammit, I feel like everywhere I go I have to face this girl.

"I don't give a shit! Spencer, what is this?" I turn to him. I shove him back, "How stupid could you be, Spence?" We were away from my room, where they could have heard us.

"Look, I'm sorry. But the guys were sleeping downstairs and she was the only girl so I suggested she slept in your room, and Xander wanted to protect her or some shit like that so he slept there too. I'm sorry, Shae. I know I was wrong; now could you lay off the shouting?"

"Seriously, Spence?" I groan at him. I turned around and walked back to my room.

"Shae, I'm sorry!" he called. It's around six in the morning, I just really want to sleep again, but instead I have to face this shit. I fucking told Spence this was a bad idea. Did he listen? no. Because Shae is an idiot, right? She didn't know shit like this would have happened.

"Just get out," I say to them both and walk straight to my bed. I'm glad they weren't actually sleeping in my bed that shit would have pissed me the fuck off. I hug my pillow and curl up like a ball as my bedroom door closed. I can't believe I have to live with this type of shit. I just need sleep right now.

At this point, I can't think about anything. I only want to hug my pillow and dream, although I doubt I do that...

Hours later, I feel someone shaking me and I groan before opening my eyes. Her hazel brown eyes and shoulder length dark hair greeted me. She smiled widely at me then leaned down to kiss my forehead. I smile up at her, but then turn my head to continue sleeping. Mum laughed softly then shook me again.

"Hey, Shae, get your ass up! Mum stopped making breakfast for you!" Spencer shouted, making me immediately get up. "Why don't you make your own breakfast!?"

"Because mum wants to make breakfast for me - her favorite child."

I sat up and hopped off my bed, leaving mum there. "You could never be favorite child because you're annoying as hell!" I follow his voice as he jumped down the stairs. I just love our morning arguments about who is the better child. It's obviously me. We make it down to the kitchen, mum following slowly behind.

"Hey, can you please not quarrel this early?" Mum sighed and rubbed her temple.

"Sorry..." Spencer and I replied, as usual. It's a usual thing on mornings. I would think mum has gotten accustomed to it, but seems not. I sigh and walk to the stove. I guess I could help with breakfast this morning instead of being lazy and just waiting for the plate to be presented in front of me. Unfortunately, Spencer is a lazy cow and he just sits on his phone.

After preparing breakfast, I serve my mum and myself, watching as Spencer sticks out his tongue and grabs a random grape on the counter and throws it at me. I rose my middle finger, only to have my mum slap my hand softly. I laughed and continued eating.

Moments later, I could hear my ringtone from upstairs. I look up as though God might answer the phone for me. Spencer looked at me with raised eyebrows, "Someone's important..."

"Yeah, I'm not a loser like you," I shout as I begin to run up the stairs. Spencer said something to me but I didn't hear him as I was already in my bedroom. I dive onto my bed to get my phone then quickly swipe to answer the phone without actually checking the caller ID

"Jay if this is you, I'll kill you because you made me run up those stairs to answer this call," I breath. I hear a laugh and it wasn't Jay's, nor Troy. I remove the phone from my ear and read the ID.

Zen.

"You idiot, why are you calling me? I don't want to talk to you," I groan.

"Shae, why are you angry? I really had no choice but to sleep with her."

"Yeah but my room? And you two were so close, I felt like puking," I roll my eyes.

"Listen, I'm sorry, if that's what you want to hear..." Xander says but I scoff. I don't care for his apologies. I mean, I get he has to pretend to like her and whatnot, but he knows I'd be home and I'd fucking hate that, so why do it in the first place? I hate when people don't think before they do crap.

"Babe, come on, let's go out or something..." he pleaded.

"So we could sneak around? No thanks, I'd much rather stay in my house where I can be comfortable," I tell him, and cock an eyebrow, although he obviously cannot see my disgust right now.

"Shae, you aren't serious..." he says in disbelieve, "I'm coming over."

"Why?" I scoff.

"I'm coming, and I don't care what you say."

"No, don't. I'll meet you wherever." I care about him too much to have him come here, which would expose him as a 'cheater', which won't be good for his reputation. It would hurt Chelsea but I don't think I care.

"Thank you," I knew he was smiling but I could care less, "Meet me at the end of your street in half an hour."

"Isn't that too close?" I ask him.

"Shae, I just need to see you, please, just compromise," he requests and I nod then hung up the phone. I have to shower and whatnot before I meet Xander. I actually really don't want to meet him because I'm really pissed. How could he even think to do that? Couldn't he persuade her out of sleeping in my room? Why would they even want to sleep there if everyone knows that I'm a bitch and I hate them... according to the public that is.

"Mum, I have to go out today, it'll only be for a little while," I stood at the frame leading into the lounge room. She was sat with her laptop in her hand, obviously working from home. I would just like to have a day with her, like without the talking about work and stuff. I sometimes want her to quiz me about what my friends are doing or talk to me about boys. I miss having my mum around sometimes.

She allowed me to leave and I thanked her. After showering and getting dressed, I checked the times then went to the front door. I wore casual clothes because I know we weren't actually going in public. I guess that's the disadvantages of being in my position. I wore a simple hoodie and a pair of black skinny jeans and converse. I stuff my hands in my pockets and walk down the street.

I was thankful that there was no interruption as I made my way to his car, ready to drive off as I took a seat. I pulled the hoodie over my head and slouched in the seat. "Seatbelt, please," he says as he began to drive. As much as I want to be defiant, I also don't want to get in an accident and die. As we drove off, passing my house, I notice Spencer getting in his car. Next, Xander phone begins to ring.

"Don't pick it up, its Spence and he'll want to hang out," I glance at him, watching as a cocky smirk formed on his lips. "So you want to remain with me..."

"No, I just want to get over this."

"You could never get over me, babe," he's cocky again and all I could do that won't harm him is roll my eyes. I take in a breath and stare out the window. Of course he's right, I can't get over him, but I don't know, I think I want to. I mean, as much as I like him, I can't be living in the darkness forever. And with Xander, I'm living in the darkness. I feel so committed to him and I refuse to see other people or talk to other guys, while he is gallivanting around with some girl that he is obviously afraid to dump.

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