H E' S M I N E

C H A P T E R – T E N

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I don't have my best friends, I don't have my secret boyfriend, my mum's not home and I'm being forced to clean the house with my annoying brother. My head is killing me and I just want to rest, but since Spencer solely believes he's older than me and he can boss me around, and I have to help clean. I mean I wouldn't want him to have to clean this entire place alone. That's just mean.

"Can't we hire help?" I drawl. My arms are tired form picking up garbage and putting it into a bag. I feel like I have been doing this for ages. I'm missing a day of school for this. But to be honest, I really would hate to be in school right now. There's Chelsea, and Xander and no Jay and Troy. I miss them so much, but neither of them are picking up, and even if I wasn't cleaning today, I couldn't go anywhere because I feel horrible.

"Shae, I have no money for help."

"Well, you should have thought of that shit before you threw a party," I groan, dropping the bag of garbage. We're just finishing the kitchen, which is the last thing that needs to be cleaned downstairs, we still have the entirety of upstairs to clean and I'm already beginning to feel lazy. We'll never get this shit done.

Spencer doesn't reply to me, only continuing his work. "You know you should have invited your little friends to come help you," I roll my eyes at him. I think my goal right now is to push him so far that he just wants me away and I'll go up to my room where I can be alone. But it's Spencer, and he always has something snappy to say. "And you could have invited yours, seeing as he nearly punched a guy for fucking kissing you."

I have nothing more to add, but Spencer obviously does, "Hell, I'm your brother and I didn't act like that."

"Uh isn't he your best friend?" I groan. I want this conversation to end, but I sort of also want to hear Spence's thoughts on his friend acting out. I want to know if he has any suspicions. I mean, I still care about Xander...

"Yeah, but it's just fucked up, you know..." he says while picking up a bunch of garbage with his gloved hands. He continued, "Why would he do that shit for you? I mean, don't you two hate each other?" I bite my lip and turned away. Xander ruined it all.

"Yeah, I hate him, that's for sure," I say to my brother.

"I think he hates you..."

I turn back to him, "You should know, you're his best friend!"

"Whatever. I'll just talk to him, obviously."

I rolled my eyes at Spencer, "I didn't ask you to talk about that."

"What's your fucking problem this morning?" he scoffed at me. He really doesn't want to know what my problem is.

"Period. Excuse me for being a bitch," I violently grab those stupid red cups, littered all over my god damn house. Why are teenagers so fucking annoying?

"That was unnecessary."

"You asked what my problem was and I told you," I groan.

"Jeez, Shae, relax. It's not the end of the fucking world," he comments. Spencer always has something to say, doesn't he? It's like he never shuts his face! I don't want to talk right now, but I'm not taking shit from Spencer of all people. "Shut the fuck up, Spence. You don't know shit I'm going through. Fuck, you're lucky I'm even helping you right now."

"Whatever, cranky pants," he walked passed me to go upstairs and I slap his head. As he was at the exit he turned around and stuck his tongue out at me. "Real fucking mature, big bro!" I hollered. I hear him laugh and I simply roll my eyes. How can I possibly be related to that clown? I let out a breath which is supposed to calm me, but sort of didn't and I ended up sitting on the ground with my back leaned against the kitchen island, facing the cupboards.

With my head in my hands and eyes closed, I groan softly. I feel like my entire life is ruined and it only took like one day. Everything is so fucked up. I don't even know why we even broke up; hell I don't even know if its permanent. I mean, we were both drunk, so whatever was said was obviously because we were drunk. I miss Xander so much, and it hasn't even been a proper day yet. I wonder if he missed me? Or maybe he can finally continue with his stupid girlfriend.

Speaking of, does that mean, I don't have to talk nor acknowledge her anymore, because she is really annoying. Especially now that I know Xander basically chose her over me. Why did he even walk away last night? He should have stayed, we would have talked about it and I wouldn't be going through this shit.

"Shae!" A female voice called me from outside my house. I groan loudly, as the person began to knock then ring the doorbell. Moments later, as expected, Spence ran down the stairs to where I sat. "What the hell is wrong with you? Someone's at the door!"

"You walked all the way down here to yell at me when you could just answer the door?" I roll my eyes at him and stand up. Spencer began again, "Because the door is for you!"

"It's just Chelsea," I grumble as Spencer and I separate. He went back upstairs and I went to the door. Spencer is a real idiot. He walked all the way down here to shout at me to get the door, then he has to walk back up to finish his cleaning. It's by far the most stupid thing I've ever seen. I make my way to the door and pull it open.

Chelsea stood there with a wide grin on her face, I was tempted to slam the door in her face, but I decided against it. She began to talk and I mentally roll my eyes. "I missed you today at school, so I decided to come by and check on you. I mean, I have to go back because it's just lunch but-"

"Do you want to come in?" I find myself asking. She looked shock, but nodded her head eventually. Chelsea moved past me and walked inside the house. Before I could say anything, or explain why I stayed home, she says, "I want to apologize for Xander last night. I mean I don't know what his problem was. He's never like that... I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize, Chelsea," I sigh, taking a seat on the couch with her. She's too nice.

"No, I mean, I know you probably hate him more than ever now, and you deserve an apology, so I just thought I should do it."

"It's okay. I barely even remember what happened." I only remember the important parts, like us breaking up. That's basically it, I have no idea why we were fighting in the first place I just can hear myself telling him that we're done. I hate myself for it.

"Oh okay. You're so understanding," she smiled at me. Before I could reply she said, "Would you like help here? It's a total mess and you two can't do it by yourself. Plus, we have to go out this afternoon."

"We do?" I raise my eyebrow at her and she nodded enthusiastically, "yes. The group remember. I'm actually really excited to go back, with you, because I feel so much more confident."

"Last night you were pretty confident," I smile at her, watching as a blush formed on her cheeks. Her horrible dancing came into my head.

"Please stop. I don't remember it and I don't want to..."

"You were dancing like never before, I think even when I wasn't there," I say to her with a smile on my face. I know she was drunk and all, but I'm actually proud of her. I think drunk Chelsea is the real Chelsea. I know she doesn't want to be the shy girl with the popular boyfriend that everyone sees, she's the random dancer who low-key doesn't really care. She wants to be independent and brave, but I can see she's scared.

And although it's (probably) over with Xander, and I said I wouldn't care for Chelsea anymore, I can't. I have to admit that Chelsea actually is a good friend, she came by today and is offering to help me. I know it really doesn't mean shit, but to be completely honest, it means a lot to me. I mean, I value friendship.

"Okay, well enough about that party. I'm totally willing to stay here and help you guys..." she smiled at me. I glance down at her flowy, short dress she has on. She can't clean in this, no way. She might be well off, but I doubt her parents would fancy the idea of her cleaning in a probably really expensive dress.

God dammit, why do I even care? I fucking hate her... she's just a good person. That doesn't mean I can't hate her.

"I'll lend you a change of clothes, yeah?" I suggested. Chelsea nodded excitedly and I rolled my eyes. I doubt she didn't expect that. I know we've only been 'friends' for like two weeks, but she must at least pick up something from me. I picked up that she talks a huge lot when she's comfortable around you. And she's apparently very comfortable around me... unfortunately.

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"Spencer, are you going anywhere tonight?" I ask him as I skip downstairs to meet him in the kitchen. Mum will be home tomorrow morning (according to Spence) and I am proud to say that the house looks normal again. To be honest it looks a little too clean, I'll have to break a vase or something. Mum will never buy this. She knows us too well.

"Uh yeah," he shoved pizza in his face and nodded his head. I rose my eyebrow, shocked that he ordered pizza and didn't tell me. I walk to him and take a slice, and since I'm staying home tonight, I don't have to give a fuck if a pepperoni falls on my top. But Spence on the other hand has a plate under his chin. I shake my head and continued eating.

This is basically how it always is when Mum is out for the night. We order a pizza and eat it together like pigs. And strangely enough, we don't make a mess of the entire kitchen island.

"So where are you going tonight?" I ask him.

"Uh well I was going with Xander but he claims he has plans, so I'm going on my own to find girls. Wanna come? We could get laid together. The Shae twins on the run!" he exclaimed. I screw up my face at his ridiculousness, "Psshh, no thanks. I totally prefer staying at home alone."

"No, invite one of your friends or something. I can't have you fucking alone."

"Aww, you care!" I smile and walk to hug him. Spence shrugged me off, "No, Mum will kill me if her ugly ass troll of a daughter gets hurt...surprisingly..."

"Fuck you, Spence," I take the pizza box and walk away. Spencer began to laugh at me. "I'll be leaving in like five minutes, so make up your mind."

"I'm staying home, Spence. I'm so tired from cleaning today," I mumble and put the box back on the counter. He was done eating anyway, plus there was only like two slices left, I could totally eat that in like five fucking minutes.

"Okay," he mumbled and picked up his phone from the counter. I went into the living room while he went back upstairs. I turned on the television quickly and got comfortable. Five minutes later, Spencer came back downstairs and in front my face. He blew his breath and I nodded my head. "Smells good, bro."

"Thanks, sis," he kissed me forehead, "Stay safe, okay?"

"Well I'm not going anywhere so..." I rolled my eyes. Spencer began to walk, "Hey, I really don't want to die, so just stay safe."

"Okay, Spencer." What a pest. I heard when Spencer opened and closed the door, then locked it from outside. I also heard when his car left the driveway some seconds after. And I'm alone. I grabbed my phone and began texting Jay but got no reply, as with Troy. I'm so worried about them. What if something happened and that's why they aren't answering their phones. But I couldn't visit them because I legit had no time. Chelsea basically took my entire afternoon with that stupid ass group session and now I'm tired as hell. I don't know why she just can't carry her actual boyfriend.

And as if on cue, the moment I thought of him, my phone began to ring and his name pop up. I bite my bottom lip and decided to just leave the phone to ring. He hung up but then called again and once again, I ignored it. I kind of want to talk to him and sort it out but I'm not doing it over a phone. Plus, I just like being a bitch, and he hasn't seen enough of this side of me, so I'm going to change that.

Xander stopped calling after he realized I was ignoring him, but then I heard a knock on the door and the doorbell ringing. He's just like his fucking girlfriend; Annoying. After he knocked a couple times and I think he was going to turn away because I hadn't heard him knock for a while, I dashed to the door and open it. As expected I see him walking away.

"Xander?" I call. He turned back to me and the sight of his face brings a smile to my face, but I immediately hide it. I could feel my heart beat quickening as he walked back to me. His brown orbs met mine and the butterflies in my stomach made themselves known. I tapped my fingers against the door which I held onto. Xander just stared at me and I wanted to just drop my gaze to escape from this intense moment, but I can't.

"Are we seriously over?" I ask him. He scratched the back of his neck, "I don't want us to be."

"Honestly, neither me," I cleared my throat awkwardly. Xander nodded his head, his eyes never leaving mine. What now?

"You know, I missed you today."

I nod, "Yeah, same here."

"Are we really going to be this awkward?" he asks me. I roll my shoulders and decided to open the door for him to step in. I closed the door behind me and remained in that position, watching him. "You lied to my brother..."

"So I could be here," he points out. I nod my head slowly. How could I honestly hate him? He's fucking giving up everything, his best friend, his girlfriend, his fucking sleep. I breathe in slowly, "Can I get a hug?"

"Of course, baby," he came to me in about a millisecond and wrapped his arms around my body, while I hugged his neck. It really wasn't the kind of hug I wanted, but this would do. I'm just happy I could touch him and know he's mine. Xander pulled away after a while and gazed into my eyes. He's such a compelling little guy... well he isn't little... like at all.

Fuck, what am I thinking about?

I locked my skinny fingers in his hair and pulled his head to me, smashing our lips onto each other. And this, ladies and gentlemen, is what I longed for. For him to hold me, and kiss me and touch me and squeeze me and I just want it all. I want him to show he loves me and only me. I like when he kisses me passionately like there's no tomorrow and he lifts me off the ground and we spin and I can just tell he's happy. Then our happiness mixes with lust and clothes begin to fly as he presses my back against the door. And then what seems like some seconds later we're in bed. Him hovering over me as his lips made their way down to my breasts and he leaves hickeys almost everywhere.

Then I'm naked and he's naked and it goes on from there. It's like a match made in heaven if I'm being completely honest. Xander is the only guy who I could ever picture myself like this with and I think that's great. I don't want us to break up because I don't think this is just a fling. Call me fucking messed up in the head, but I feel something when I'm with him. Xander is by far, like no other. And our relationship may be completely and totally wrong, but damn does it feel good!

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See you guys tomorrow for the next Chapter !!