Don't judge i cAnt thiNk oF a tiTLe Ok dEaL wiTh iT

I flip the covers off me, and head to the bathroom.

I instantly look at the mirror, and the same ugly, insane reflection of me stares right back into my eyes.

Monster.

Murder.

I tear my face away, and turn on the faucet to wash my face. Cool water soothes my skin. I turn it off, and use a nearby towl to dry off the excess water.

Knife.

I discard that last thought, and go to my closet.

Your fault.

I pick out a random shirt, and a pair of jeans.

He never loved you.

I put on my clothes, and walk to the kitchen for some food. I find pop tarts and smile, eating one of them.

Die.

I find my shoes and slip them on, while gathering my things to head onto class. It's been some days since i went to class, so im actually going instead of being lazy and saying i was sick. Im paying for college for gods sake.

*tiMe skiP cUz i duNNo wHat tO pUt hErE*

I arrive at my first class, which is biology. The teacher drones on, as i mindlessly take notes and doodle. I was drawing a bird with a top hat when a person tapped my shoulder.

"Your John laurens, correct?"

I turn my head to face them, and my gaze meets the face of none other than Jefferson himself.

"Um.. Yes."

"Ok. Do you know what happend to Alex? I heard you and him were a thing and i haven't seen him since last week."

Shit.

My heart starts to speed up, and i try to make an excuse.

"Oh... He's just visiting some lost family member... He'll be back soon."

"Oh... Well tell me when he gets back."

"Ok."

I turn back to my notebook, my head pounding.

Fuck.

Fuck i can't believe i said that. I hope he buys it. I can't...

"May i be excused?"

I rock back and forth, the bathroom tiles cold. I miss him. I don't know what to tell anyone, i forgot the fact that he had a few friends. I didn't think about making pretty little lies to avoid telling them the ugly truth.

Why...

Why did i put myself in this situation?

God what am i going to do?

"Are you ok?"

//////////////////////

Cliffhanger bish

-hiL