Nagtago ako sa likod ng puno. Dinig ko ang malakas na pagtangis ni Lorcan doon sa casita at ang kalmadong pang-aalo sa kanya ni Margaux. Hindi ko maintindihan pero alam kong nasasaktan siya.

Pinalis ko ang luha ko dahil alam kong hindi ako ang makakapagpagaan non at naging doble ang sakit non. Nakita kong sinarhan ni Margaux ang pinto ng casita, ilang sandali pa ay namatay na din ang ilaw. 

Tumigil ang pag-iyak ni Lorcan o hindi ko na lang iyon narinig. Napalitan iyon ng pagbagsak ng malalaking patak ng malungkot na ulan. Hindi ko ininda iyon. Baka sakaling kailanganin niya ako, hindi na niya kakailanganing maglakad, sasalubungin ko siya. Niyakap ko ang sarili ko sa pag-ihip ng malamig na hangin at ang pag-tulak ng alon sa may dalampasigan. Kasabay ng pagbuhos ng ulan ay ang pagpatak ng luha ko.

I stayed there until I don't remember anymore. May payong na tumakip sa akin at sa aking pagtingala, nakita ko doon si Ashton, umiling siya at hinaplos ang balikat ko para patigilin din ako sa pag-iyak.

"He has that moment once a year, Calla. Si Margaux lang ang nakakapagpakalma sa kanya. Let him be and trust him."

"Bakit hindi ako ang kailangan niya?" Lumabi ako at humikbi.

"He doesn't want to worry you, probably. Lorcan has this tendency to hide his real feelings." 

Pinalis ko ang luha ko. 

"And there's Lily. Lorcan doesn't openly talk about Lily. Lily was Lorcan's older sister. She died when she was nine trying to save Lorcan at their private beach in Calatagan. This is the same day she died. Sinisi si Lorcan nang mga magulang niya dahil doon. He breaks down everytime he remembers it. She saw his sister drowning at the same time he felt betrayed by his parents, hinayaan siyang magluksa mag-isa. Hinayaan siya ng mga ito bitbitin ang sisi buong buhay niya. Margaux was there to witness his pain all those years maybe that's the same reason why he looked for her. Old habits die hard, huh."

Dinala ako ni Ashton sa Villa namin ng kakambal ko at saka palang niya binitiwan ang kamay ko. "Please dry yourself up and rest. Dalawang araw na lang at kasal niyo na. You can't afford to get sick." Tumango ako, hindi ko naisantinig na kasal na kami ng kanyang kaibigan. 

Tulog na si Clover nang maabutan ko. Dumiretso ako sa banyo para maligo at makapagpalit ng puting summer dress. Umupo ako sa kama na para sa akin at tiningnan ang cellphone ko. Walang kahit anong mensahe doon. Naalala ko ang mukha ni Lorcan at binalot na naman ako ng pag-aalala. He cried so hard today and he didn't let me see it. I hate how his parents blamed young Lorcan for it. How they let them hate blame himself for that incident. Napakatagal na non at hindi na din nila napatawad ang musmos na anak.

I composed a message kahit wala naman akong balak ipadala iyon, just to console myself too.

'Hindi mo kasalanan iyon. If they cannot forgive you, at least forgive yourself. Lily must loved you so much to save you and you should love yourself more because there are people that walked into your life and loved you like that. You shouldn't put it to waste. Love while you still can.'

Pumikit ako at huminga ng malalim. I felt better typing the words, pagmulat ko ay napansin kong aksidente kong naipadala ang mensahe. 

I was giving him his time and I am avoiding to sound nosy but I ended up being one. 

Wala tuloy akong naging tulog hanggang kinaumagahan sa kakaintay ng sagot mula kay Lorcan pero bigo ako, kahit sana pagtatanong lang kung kanino ko nakuha ang impormasyon. 

Tulog pa ang kapatid ko nang lumabas ako ng Villa namin. Nabigla pa ako nang buksan ko ang pinto. There I saw Lorcan, sleeping on the visitor's couch. Agad akong lumapit doon at hinaplos ang mukha niya.

Nag-mulat agad siya sa mahinang haplos. "Calla." Napabangon siya.

"Kailan ka pa diyan?" 

Tipid siyang ngumiti at ipinakita ang kanyang cellphone kung nasaan ang mensahe ko, "When I read this." 

 "I am not supposed to send that. Nabanggit sa akin ni Ashton kung anong nangyari k-kaya—"

Sinalubong ako ni Lorcan ng mahigpit na yakap, "I think you are Lily's gift to me."

"I am sorry for what happened to your sister."

"I am sorry for having crude parents. We can't choose our parents, right?"

"They still care for you. Ayaw lang nilang ipakita iyon." Hinaplos ko ang mukha niya. Pagod at nangangalumata pero hindi man lang nabawasan ang kagwapuhan niya. "Sumugod agad sila dahil akala nila ay oportunista ako." I smiled.

"You are not like that."

"Ayos na sa akin na hindi mo ako pinag-iisipan ng ganon."

"This is not how I pictured our first night as husband and wife. Mabuti na lang at hapon tayo ikinasal." Kumindat siya at ipinahinga ang noo sa akin, his eyes burned with desire, pumula ang pisngi ko dahil doon. Napakaaga pa!

"Let's have breakfast."  Anyaya ko.

Kinuha ni Lorcan ang kamay ko at hinila sa restaurant kung saan naka-book ang mga guests at suppliers para sa breakfast. Natigilan kami ni Lorcan nang makita ang mga magulang niya doon, sa parehas na lamesa ay naroon si Margaux at masaya silang nagku-kwentuhan.

"Mr. Alcantara, this way please." Itinuro ng staff ng restaurant ang lamesa ng kanyang mga magulang. Tumiim bagang si Lorcan at hindi naglakad papunta doon. Ngunit huli na, nakita na kami ng kanyang mga magulang.

"Lorcan, come here." Maawtoridad na utos ng kanyang ama. Humakbang kami papalapit. Tumahimik ang kanilang lamesa sa aming pagdating.

Mayroon agad staff na nagbaba sa amin ng bowl ng soup. Katabi ni Aleana Alcantara si Margaux, samantalang sa pinakapuno ng lamesa ay si Rodrigo Alcantara. They all looked royal in their beach outfits. Hindi maikakaila na bumagay doon si Lorcan kahit wala siyang tulog.

"May misa mamaya para kay Lily. Padating na din ang Abuela mo mamayang hapon para doon. You should come." Pormal na wika ni Aleana.

Tumingin sa akin ang ina ni Lorcan, "Today is Lily's birthday, too. In case you don't know. You probably don't but—"

"Aleana."

Nagkibit balikat ang ina ni Lorcan. "Thank you for coming, Margaux."

Umiling naman si Margaux, "I wouldn't come if Lorcan didn't call me yesterday. Buti available pa ang private jet ni Daddy. You know how emotional Lorcan could get."

"He should. Siya naman ang may—"

"Aleana!" Mas malakas na suway ng ama ni Lorcan. Ibinagsak ni Lorcan ang kanyang table napkin at hinuli ako sa braso para tumayo.

"Magpapahatid na lang kami ng pagkain sa casita. Please excuse us." Tumalikod na kami nang magsalita ang kanyang ina.

"Aalis na din kami pagkatapos ng misa para kay Lily. Hindi ko masikmurang dumalo sa kasal niyo na ang puno't dulo naman ay pera. I am not sure what Mama saw in that girl. Siguro ay pinaparusahan ka din sa mga kapabayaan mo. Well, streak of luck."

Kumuyom ang kamao ni Lorcan at walang pakundangang lumingon iyon sa lamesa ng mga magulang.

"Well, thank you, my dear parents for ruining my life."

"Lorcan." Matigas din ang boses ni Rodrigo Alcantara.

"--For letting me carry this guilt alone. You are blaming me on how bad I turned out? Thanks to you, too. I don't need your insults, I didn't invite you here. Maybe Lily went to heaven early so she won't  how our parents turned to be monsters. Hindi na ninyo maaring ibato sa akin ang sisi. Come to think of it, two children playing at the beach, where were you? Where were the both of you? Will you blame Lily, too, if I died? I am sure you would. Diyan naman kayo magagaling!"

Tumalikod si Lorcan nang punong puno ng galit ang paraan ng paghinga. Hinaplos ko ang kanyang likod pero wala iyong epekto. Hinila niya ako sa kanyang casita pagkatapos ay ginawaran ng marahas na halik. Nag-luluksa siya, galit siya at pinakawalan ang nasasaktan niyang puso ng ilang taon.

He scraped my summer dress and it revealed my body. My breathing hitched when his kisses went down sensually. Erotically painful. Itinulak niya ako sa kama. He removed his shirt and attacked me again. He pressed his body to mine. He didn't stop kissing me hungrily until he stopped on my neck then like an automatic button was switched off, he stopped voluntarily.

I felt tears on my neck and it glided on my shoulders. Tahimik na umiyak si Lorcan at nanatili doon. I patted his back and let him cry on top of me.

"Dapat ito na ang huling araw na iiyakan mo si Lily. Ilang taon na iyon, Lorcan. Masaya na si Lily sa langit. Her star is up there. Hanapin natin siya mamaya para maramdaman mo na lagi mo siyang kasama."

Bumangon siya at hinalikan ang tungki ng ilong ko. "You are my star now hear on earth, Calla."

He reached for the side table and revealed a blue velvet box and opened it. There's black and white 'exactly the same rings' inside. White gold rings with black opal at the center, it was carved with three golden stars in the middle. It was so beautiful.

"We didn't had a vow yesterday." 

"Lorcan, we are half naked." Bulong ko.

Pinilit niya akong bumangon at kinuha ang kaliwang kamay ko.

"I thought I should marry someone that I can live with so I was chasing the wrong person for so long, but you came and it changed my perspective. I should marry someone that I cannot live without. When I realized that I cannot see you for three days because convention, it made me uncomfortable because you are not there. I cannot survive without you anymore. You made me so addicted that I know I have to marry you the moment I will see you again."

Lumuluha na ako nang ilagay ni Lorcan ang singsing sa aking daliri. I bit my lips to suppress my ugly cry. Kinuha ko ang singsing na para sa kanya at sinakyan ang gusto niya.

"You are the weirdest person I ever encountered but I love weird people because all my life people tell me that I am weird, but you are 10 times more." I sniffed. "I couldn't imagine how cliché romance stories happen. The hero and heroine fell in love only in weeks, or even a few  months of being together but it became my story. You are so weird that you made me fall for you because you are sad. You made me fall for you because you are so true. You made me fall for you by telling me what you think about the world and the universe. You made me fall for your shortcomings, for your imperfection, your annoying antics. I couldn't believe that I am capable of loving you so much that I am willing to let you go, kapag ayaw mo na."

Lorcan's lips twitched, he shook his head while trying to wipe the tears on my face. "If you love me that much then don't let me go."

"Sabi mo, pangit ako. Kung pangit ako bakit ba nagpopropose ka kung kailan ako pinakapangit? Bakit kapag nakapanty at nakabra lang ako? Pinakasalan mo ako nang nakaswimsuit ako tapos ang vow natin, ngayong sira sira ang damit ko. Bwisit ka!" Sinuot ko ang singsing sa kanya at niyakap niya ako ng mahigpit.

"I love you, Calla."

Humaplos iyon sa puso ko. The softness of his words sent chills to my spine.

"Mahal din kita."

"And I love you more if you're in your birthday suit."

He kissed me and we made love as slow as the down-tempo classical music. We took our time. We made it special as husband and wife.