After a week at and with Ella, Zhan had to head back home. Back to Shanghai and back to his fiancé Wang Yibo, who called him almost every day and told him how much he missed him. Zhan also missed Yibo terribly, but he needed this one week to think about a lot of things and also to switch off a bit.

The last two months, since they started living in Shanghai, were sometimes not easy for him and even hard in the last two weeks. More and more he felt that he was taking away from Yibo what was most important to him, his career, his dream. After all, Zhan gave him little choice, when he told him he couldn't give Yibo a chance this way.

Had he perhaps been too selfish? Too selfish and had only considered his own feelings? Did he even have the right to make any demands on Yibo, even before he himself realized how much the former idol meant to him?

Again and again, Zhan had said that he didn't think much of idols. That he didn't want to have a relationship with an idol and criticized how little time an idol had for a relationship. By his words, had he been forcing Yibo to give up what he had worked so hard to achieve? These thoughts just wouldn't let go of Zhan and he knew there was only one solution. To talk to Yibo!

When Zhan landed in Shanghai in the late afternoon, he searched all over the airport for Yibo, who was supposed to pick him up. But since he couldn't find him, he called Yibo, who had overslept after studying all night for an exam. Therefore, Zhan took a cab, drove home and was welcomed with a stormy hug and a tender kiss from Yibo.

While they both cooked something for dinner, Zhan talked about his week with Ella and all the things they did together and how often they ran into Yibo's fans who kept uploading pictures of them, filled with all sorts of rumors, on the internet. Yibo nodded and explained that he saw all of that and laughed about it.

Then, as the two sat together in their living room, eating together while watching a show on TV to which Yibo had also been invited, Zhan noticed that look in Yibo's eyes again, reflecting sadness. And so he put his plate on the living room table, looked thoughtfully at Yibo for a moment, and decided he needed to talk to him.

"Would you have liked to be at the show?" Zhan asked him.

Yibo looked at Zhan confused and asked, "Where, at that show?"

"Mhm. Right."

"No. What makes you think that?"

"Well, to be honest. Whenever we've seen anything lately that you've been in or could have been in, you look so sad. And I wonder if you might be regretting your decision to say goodbye to show business now?"

Yibo looked at Zhan thoughtfully and shook his head. "No, I don't regret it." He said and Zhan found that this was a lie.

"Yibo, you don't have to lie to me. You know, every time I see that sad look, I wonder if maybe I expected too much from you. Because of me, you gave up your career that you worked so hard for. For 10 years you did nothing but work hard for your career and then there was me telling you I don't start anything with an idol. I don't believe in idols. Or that idols don't have time for relationships at all and for that reason alone I wouldn't start anything with an idol. Did you, and I want an honest answer from you, give up your career just because of that and now regret it?"

As tears suddenly ran down Yibo's cheeks and he had great difficulty chewing and swallowing the piece of meat he had just put in his mouth, Zhan saw his assumption confirmed and felt incredibly bad. Because while he was chasing his dream, he had forced Yibo to give up his dream.

Zhan took a handkerchief and wiped Yibo's tears. "I'm sorry Yibo." Said Zhan and explained further, "I should never have made you give up what you loved the most. And if you miss it so much, go back to show business. Go back to work in front of the camera. I won't stop you again as long as it means you're finally back to being the happy, sassy, brave man I first met."

More tears rolled down Yibo's cheeks and he shook his head. "No, I'm not going back there. Because I don't want to lose you."

"Please don't think I want to lose you Yibo. I just don't want to stop you from pursuing your dream anymore. I don't want you to give up what you love so much and sacrificed so much for because of me."

"Zhan please stop. You don't understand. You are the most important thing in my life. You are what I love the most. It's just that I thought it would be easier. You know, I just wanted to study and then open a dance studio. But studying is so incredibly hard for me. I study and study but as soon as I have an exam, everything is forgotten. I feel more and more like I'm not going to make it. I'm afraid of failing and that I won't achieve what I want to achieve. But this has nothing to do with you or us. I love you and I already decided, without your influence, that I'd like to have a life again that's away from cameras and fans."

"But that's what you always wanted. That was your life. You did everything for it. You worked so hard for it."

"No Zhan, my goals have changed. You are my life and I only want to be with you. Yes of course I enjoy the weekly show a lot at the moment. But only because it distracts me from my worries about my studies. But that doesn't mean I'm going to throw everything away and give up because of it. I really want to make this work and I want you. And just because I talk about where I've been invited or how a day of shooting for the series or the movie went doesn't mean I regret retiring from the show business."

"But then why do I feel like you regret it?"

"I don't know Zhan. But I swear it's not your fault. Yes, I left all this behind for you too. But not only for you. But rather for me as well. As I've told you so many times, for the last two years, I hardly felt joy when I was in front of the camera. I suffered from the situation of not even being able to take the trash outside without being immediately surrounded by masses of my fans. You were and are my bright spot. I want to marry you and stay with you. You are my dream!"

"And yet, I want to tell you, if you'd rather go back to show business instead of studying, go for it. I will not leave you. I'll stay by your side and support you."

"Zhan, listen to me my darling. I appreciate it very much. But, that's no longer an option for me. I want to continue this life we've built now with you. I want to be a private person. To be able to move freely. To hold your hand when we are outside. Hold you in my arms without fear of a camera. I want to marry you! I want to spend the rest of my life with you by my side. And nothing can stop me from fulfilling this dream. And if you really want to help me and support me, then do it with my studies, so that I can finally succeed at it and fulfill my second dream, of a dance studio."

"I'll be happy to help you study. I had classes in business administration back in the day, too, and maybe I can really help you study."

"Good, now please don't ever tell yourself that I gave up on my dream just because of you and that's why I'm miserable now. I hate it when you think like that. Because like I said, you are my dream! And nothing is more important to me than you are. And I promise, as soon as things get better in my studies, I'll be the old Yibo you fell in love with again." Replied Yibo. He took Zhan in his arms and hugged him tightly.

Yibo couldn't believe what was going through Zhan's mind and that he was blaming himself for it because he thought he was to blame for Yibo not being in a good mood at the moment.

And besides, Yibo thought Zhan should work on his dreams himself. He knew long ago that Zhan regretted giving up his gallery and would like to have his own gallery again. He also knows that Zhan wants to become better known as an author and write many more books. Instead of worrying about Yibo, Yibo thought, Zhan should start with himself first.

That evening, as Zhan sat in his studio painting, Yibo sat with him and admired him once again. He loved watching Zhan draw and being there as a few stitches, a few sketches, became a work of art. And these are moments that Yibo enjoys very much. That's how he imagines his life with him. They spend time together, he watches him paint, they cook together, they watch a movie or a series together, and now and then they go out together.

And already now Yibo dreams of their wedding together, even if they still want to take their time with it. Just like with everything else. Only in one thing Yibo was no longer so sure whether he wants to wait with it still. Because he and Zhan have been a couple for almost 9 months now and still they haven't slept with each other once.

Yibo always thought it would be more romantic to wait until the wedding. But now that they don't want to get married until he finishes his studies, he doesn't want to wait that long at all. And right now he's thinking about how to tell Zhan that. Because he doesn't want to just say, I don't want to wait and have sex with you from now on. Instead, he's looking for a way to show and tell Zhan differently.

The only problem is, he just can't think of anything. Again and again, he had rejected Zhan when he asked if they would like to take this step slowly and referred him to his wish to wait until the wedding. And now that he doesn't want to wait any longer, he just can't think of anything how to explain this to Zhan, after he rejected him over and over again.