When Zhan went home in the early evening, it was dark and the clouds in the sky were slightly colored orange. It was cold and snowing. A sight like Zhan had always loved since he was a little kid. That time of year when the snow hid everything with a white blanket underneath.

That evening, before driving home, Zhan decided to stop by the park, near his apartment complex and go for a little walk.

He parked his car and walked to the entrance of the park. He walked slowly until he reached the lake of the park. The first thing he learned when he first came to this park was not what the name of the lake was, but that this was a flowing water. It was obvious anyway, because of the river that also runs through this park and flows into the lake, but does not end. Because at the other end of the lake, the river continues to flow.

Today, however, Zhan did not see the river flowing, because it was frozen by the cold more than a week ago, just like the lake. So Zhan stood by the lake, breathed in the fresh cold air, and whispered to himself, "Just as the river will keep flowing, even under this ice, it will keep going for me. On and on and on every single day. And there will be, as always, good days and bad, but that doesn't change the course. Because always at midnight, a new day begins and it goes on and on."

An old woman standing next to Zhan smiled and said, "And sometimes we meet people who accompany us for a while. My father always told me, what you didn't get done today, you can get done tomorrow, because one thing is certain, there is a new day coming."

Zhan turned to her and nodded. "Yeah, that's right." He replied before turning and walking on. He walked around the park for quite a while before going back to his car and driving home.

When the elevator arrived at the top, Zhan exited it and saw Yibo standing in the hallway. Yibo smiled, though Zhan could also see that he felt more like crying. "Zhan? Can we talk for a minute?" Yibo asked, and Zhan nodded.

He unlocked his apartment door and Yibo followed him into the apartment. They went into the living room and sat down. Zhan didn't say a word, he just looked at Yibo and waited until he was ready to talk.

"It's like this, well, I wanted to thank you for being so honest with me. I've been thinking a lot in the last few hours and I have to admit, I was just thinking about my feelings the whole time. I haven't thought any further. And for that, I want to apologize." Said Yibo finally after two or three minutes.

"You don't have to apologize Yibo. In fact, I understand. Sometimes I just want to be crazy too. Thoughtlessly just do whatever I feel like. Just let myself go and follow my feelings." Replied Zhan.

"Why don't we just do that today? Just once, as a parting gift for both of us?"

"What do you mean by that?"

"I mean, being crazy. Let's just go out and do something."

"You can't, you know that."

"Yes it can, Zhan. This one time it has to work. Please let us spend one last evening together. Please give me at least this one more evening."

Zhan thought about it and was naturally unsure, but finally he nodded. Yibo smiled and happily ran to his apartment to get dressed.

Yibo put on his new winter jacket, put on a baseball cap and wore a mask. Then he went back to Zhan, who had also changed quickly and was also wearing a baseball cap and mask.

The two men walked to the elevator, Yibo holding Zhan's hand on the way down, but they did not talk. They took Yibo's car and drove it to a small neighborhood where Yibo stopped the car in front of a small Japanese restaurant.

In the small restaurant where only an elderly man was working and there were no other guests, Zhan and Yibo ordered a portion of soba and hot tea. The old man had no idea who the two guests were in his restaurant, he didn't care, he was just happy to see the two men praising him for his soba.

After the visit to the restaurant, the two went to an arcade where they played on several machines without being recognized. They appeared cheerful and exuberant while doing so. No one could see how heavy the hearts of these two men were. The two were even in a photo booth where they took pictures of themselves.

Every now and then, Yibo would stop and watch Zhan for a moment. And he vowed to himself that this would only be, for now, their last evening together. He will do whatever it takes to be with Zhan one day. To be able to give Zhan exactly the relationship he wants and deserves.

A relationship where they can both go outside together, where he has plenty of time for Zhan, and where Zhan doesn't have to worry about Yibo's fans or Yibo's career suffering. Yibo doesn't know yet how he should and will go about it, but he knows he won't rest until he finds a way.

Around midnight when the arcade closed, the two went once again to the park where Zhan had been once before that evening. Only now there was much more snow. They walked hand in hand along the path until they reached the lake, where they finally stopped and both looked at the snow cover of the frozen lake.

Yibo turned to Zhan and hugged him. He just wanted to hold him in his arms for a while longer, because he knew soon they would be going home and then they would part ways. It almost tore Yibo apart inside. He had been a fan of Zhan for so long and so in love with him that he was just overjoyed when he could get so close to Zhan. But now, before it has really started between them, he has to let Zhan go. And that's what hurts him more than anything else could.

Zhan smiled, he could see exactly what was going on inside Yibo and he somehow felt it too. He pulled Yibo's mask down and kissed him tenderly. When he released the kiss, tears ran down Yibo's cheeks. Zhan wiped them away and said softly, "Yibo, I love you. And I know it's hard and that it hurts. But right now, it's best for both of us. Enjoy your career that you've worked so hard for. Don't forget to take some time off now and then. And don't skip any more meals."

"And I love you Zhan. I love you very much. And most of all, I wish we had met under different circumstances." Replied Yibo, crying bitterly.

"Mhm, me too Yibo. But it's just the way it is. Who knows, maybe we'll meet again in a few years and maybe the circumstances will be different."

"I will find a way Zhan. I promise you, I will find a way. And once I find that way, I'll come back to you."

"Do that. You know where to find me. And until then, keep doing your best and keep impressing everyone around you with your great talents. And never let anyone tell you that you can't do something. Because if you want to, you can achieve anything, I'm sure of it."

Yibo was about to reply something else, but then they saw some other young people having a snowball fight. Zhan and Yibo smiled and joined them, they didn't recognize the two of them. They romped around in the snow with them like teenagers before slowly walking back to the car around 2 am.

When they arrived at the apartment complex parking garage, they got out, walked to the entrance and got the elevator. And while waiting for the elevator, they held each other in kissing in their arms before the elevator came.

Hand in hand, they rode up to their floor and said goodbye to each other in the hallway. Both had tears in their eyes and both wished they didn't have to do it, but both knew just as well that there was no other way. At least not at the moment.

With heavy hearts, they said their goodbyes and each went to their own apartment. Zhan stood in his hallway for quite a while, just staring ahead. While Yibo took off his winter jacket and shoes in his apartment and then went down on his knees in his living room in front of a drawing Zhan had made and cried.

Only after ten minutes did Zhan stir again. He took off his coat, his shoes, went into his bathroom and looked in the mirror. "Don't forget Zhan. One step at a time. One day at a time. On and on and on." He whispered as he looked at his crying reflection.

After a hot shower Zhan went to his studio, he was tired but he knew he couldn't sleep now. So he sat down in front of a large blank canvas and began to draw until he was so tired, that he could barely lift his arms.

It wasn't until around 6 am that Zhan finally went to bed, turned off the light on his nightstand, and thought about the previous evening with Yibo for a moment before closing his eyes and falling asleep.

Yibo was lying on his sofa in the living room at the time, also thinking about the evening he spent together with Zhan. He looked at the pictures he and Zhan took in the photo booth. He smiled and whispered, "I'll be back Zhan. I don't know when yet, but I promise I won't keep you waiting too long. Now that I know you love me too, I will find a way for us and then we can be together."

And then Yibo closed his eyes too, smiling as a lone tear ran down his cheek. He just knew that this would not be the last night with Zhan. He knows he will find a way and return to Zhan.