Randomly dedicated to JessicaAkanwa, wilbeback, Senyetekie, Maariiyahxx, shirokun117

Life is loud
All around
Sight and sound
Lost and found
Cross and crown

- Oxygen by Kings Kaleidoscope

One week later

Jeremy's P.O.V

"It was only a suggestion. It could be beneficial..." Mrs. Paul's voice trailed off.

"I can't. I'm sorry. I won't do it," I countered stubbornly.

"Jeremy, it has been years. Will you really take this grudge to your grave? You're doing so well. I believe this will help you heal. We've been focusing on your marriage, but what about your relationship with your Dad?"

"I do not care for that man. I haven't cared for a very long time,"

"Exactly! I believe it's time to change that. You need to let go of your hurt Jeremy. Can't you see? It has carried over into your relationship with Grace. We need to deal with the root of the problem. Your father has hurt you. There is no denying that. You fear that you have become what he once was to you. By going to see him you'll be confronting your fear Jeremy. You are doing what your father failed to do. You admitted that you have a problem and sought to fix it. Your father knew he had a problem and did nothing about it except bury it under years of denial,"

"I can't do this Mrs. Paul. You're asking me to revisit my childhood monster. You asking me to go back to dark days. You're asking me to forgive... how can I?" my voice broke a little after that statement.

Mrs. Paul gaze was steady on me. I could see the sadness in her eyes.

"You can do it. Your father cannot hurt you anymore. Would it be easier if Grace went with you?"

I shrugged. Grace hated my guts right now.

"I believe that you need to have a heart-to-heart with your Dad," she continued, "tell him everything. How he hurt you with his behavior, how you carried your pain around for years, how you're making an effort to distance yourself from that lifestyle. Be open. Be honest,"

"Mrs. Paul..."

"I believe in you Jeremy. It's okay if you can't do it right away, but think about all that we've discussed. This will help you heal,"

"You sound so sure,"

She smiled.

"I cannot guarantee that your father will admit his mistakes. I cannot guarantee that he will apologize or harbor the smallest bit of remorse for his actions, but you forgiving him is for you. It is the best gift you can give to yourself. You can finally let go of the hate that has been festering in your heart,"

"I don't desire a relationship with my father. I'm twenty six years old. I made it through college without his help. Got my first job without his help. I found me a wife, had a child and he was not apart of that. I've lived my life without him. I don't need him now,"

"Ahh, but I'm not asking you to develop a relationship with him. There is no way you can sweep your past under the rug. Your father has done some very bad things. Trust has been broken and it will not just magically reestablish itself. It will take time and work from both individuals. No Jeremy. You forgiving him has nothing to do with that. You forgiving him though, has everything to do with acceptance, growth and development. You're moving on Jeremy. You are closing this chapter in your life,"

I sighed heavily. This woman has no idea what she's asking of me. I haven't seen my father in a very long time. Eight years to be exact. I swore him out of my life. My own wife has never met him. I honestly would not care if he died. He deserved hell. I don't care if Levi never gets to meet him. Grace's father is all the grandpa he needs.

"I hope you listen to reason Jeremy even though it may not be what you want to hear. I am only here to help,"

I didn't respond. I gave Mrs. Paul a small nod.

"Alright. That's it for now. I'll see you next week Thursday. Take care of yourself," she said before leaning towards me with an out stretched hand. I shook it politely before standing to leave.

"And Jeremy," she called, "you're going to be fine,"

I nodded and then left.