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Hal's P.O.V

~ Hey, this is Jeremy.
I can't take your call right now unfortunately, but go ahead and leave me a message and I'll get back to you as soon as possible. Thanks. ~

***

" Hey Jerr. How you doing? It's... uh... Dad.. I - I mean... uh... Hal here. I - I... um... just wanted to say that it was good seeing you after all these years. You've really grown up. Despite our... history you've really made something of yourself. Uh... That's good. Great actually. I know you still see me as a home wrecker but... I'm not that man anymore. I've changed... And so can you. It took me awhile to get it right and it cost me my marriage to your mother. Life gave me a second chance with Luce. She's been good to me and I've been good to her, so much so that I told her about our relationship and the things I did wrong to you and your mom. I... Uh... Called your mother the other day... - "

~ If you're satisfied with your message please press one. If you'd like to redo your message please press... ~

I just ended the call. There was so much I wanted to say. So many things I needed to say to him that I couldn't in person. When Jeremy told me that he needed to talk to me after all these years, I'd hoped that it was about reconciliation. I didn't want to talk about the things I did. I didn't want to talk about the pain I'd inflicted. I just wanted to move on. I just wanted my son back.
I'd never expected to miss him so much after he left that day. I also never expected him to never return. I was hoping that he was doing all this to teach me a lesson. That he loved his father too much to just leave. Well that hope died after three weeks. By that time, I'd realized that he was serious... and that he hated my guts.
There isn't a day that goes by where I don't think about my son. I know that I messed things up more with what I said to him when I saw him last. He wanted me to apologize, to be sorry for my actions. I was sorry for the way things were between us. I should have just said it, but I didn't want to think about the past. I said somethings to him that were... Harsh. Things that I never planned to say. He'll never believe me now if I said how much I missed him. I had one job and I messed that up.

Frazzled, I ran my hands over my face a few times. Maybe it's for the best if I stay out of Jeremy's life. It's been almost two weeks since he'd come to see me and he hasn't called since, not that I would if I were him. I had been a douchebag again. Go figure.

He looked just like me when I was younger. A splitting image I swear.  Overgrown, dark, curly hair, eyes as black as night itself and a charming, crooked smile. He also looked like his mother. He had her golden skin tone and her oval shaped face. He had her wits too. They used to be so close, they still were I assumed. I had that with Jeremy once upon a time too, the closeness. It all changed when the abuse started though. I lost it all.

Jeremy's mother didn't deserve the way I treated her and the day she walked out will forever haunt me. Back then I was spiteful and angry and instead of nuturing the relationship I had left with Jeremy, I set it ablaze and watched it burn.

Now look at me. Yes, I was content with my life now, but I still lacked something that even my wife couldn't give me. I lacked a relationship with my child. Jeremy was my only child and it shamed me everyday knowing that I'd forced him away. All my friends boasted regularly of their children. Their daughters who were nurses or entrepreneurs. Their sons who who were pilots or chefs. I could never bask in that pride. I hadn't even known what Jeremy did for living until recently. I had been a bad father and part of me worried that I would never be able to make things right again. Too much time had passed.

I hope in my heart he wouldn't make the same mistakes I did. I hoped he'd actually be able to right things with his wife and swerve away from the lonely life I'd brought upon myself once upon a time.
It was clear to me that he was already a better man than me. Coming here must have been hard on him, but he did it anyways. He was already making better choices.

I wish him nothing but the best.