Randomly dedicated to karibaybee

Jeremy's P.O.V

I've been staring at my phone for hours. I wanted to just pick it up and call her, but what would I say? What could I say? It's been three days since I last saw her. Three days since we broke things off. I felt bad for hoping it was only temporary. I did not deserve anymore chances.

The fate of my father was now my own.

A chill ran through me as those words circled my head. Over the years, I've managed to lock all thought of my dad away in a vault, in the darkest corner of my mind. I hated him for what he did to our family - ripped us apart with infidelity and abuse. It shamed me to know that I had taken right after him. It shamed me to know that I was now the monster I feared growing up.
How did this happen? What happened to my quota of never being like my father? It felt like only yesterday I watched my mother pack up her stuff and leave. I suffered in her place at the ruthless hands of my father until I was old enough to move out.

I didn't want counseling as a young man, believing I was alright as long as I never saw my father again. That worked for a while until I started seeing Grace. Things escalated quickly. I blamed her for my behavior. I almost believed myself that she brought out the worst in me, that I wasn't the problem. The more I manipulated her, the more it felt okay to rough her up.
What would my mother think of me? Her son was a monster.

Grace's P.O.V

"You don't have to go back Grace. I know that this wasn't in your plan, but divorce is hardly ever planned for,"

Nora and I were sitting crossed leg on her bed drinking cinnamon tea. It was 10:00 in the morning and all I wanted to do was crawl into bed and wish my circumstances away.

Is it bad that part of me wanted to check on Jeremy? It's been three days. It's not that I wanted to go crawling back to him. Going back hadn't even crossed my mind yet. I just couldn't get his face out of my head.
Sometimes, I get upset at myself for caring about how he was doing. He had admitted to cheating and when I combined that with the abuse, it all just made me want to hate him even more.

"Grace?" Nora called and I jumped. I hadn't realized that I had zoned out. Nora gave me a weak smile.

"What are you thinking about?" She asked before taking a sip from her cup.

"What else would I be thinking about? How could I have been so blind? I gave him everything and he still cheated. I don't know if I can ever look past that," I said quietly.

"Then don't. Divorce him and don't look back," Nora said like it was the simplest thing in the world.

"I wish you'd give me some more advice besides divorce,"

"Grace, Jeremy doesn't deserve redemption,"

"This isn't just about Jeremy. I need to think about myself and Levi as well,"

Nora eyed me with annoyance.

"I can't believe you'd still try to salvage your marriage after all this. It isn't worth it Grace,"

"Nora," I sighed, " thank you for your concerns. I don't know what I'm going to do, but I'm trying to get all the advice I can. Whether I like it or not, that cheating mess is still my husband. I want to do what's best for me and my son,"

Nora shook her head like she couldn't understand what I was saying. I didn't blame her. I wasn't quite sure what I was feeling. All my emotions seemed to have just combined into a numbness.
I don't think it's possible for me to ever look at Jeremy the same again and it's not just the abuse that's got me thinking this way. He betrayed me and everything we tried to build together. He sought out some other woman while I was trying to make things work. How do you forgive that? Can you forgive that?

What if he's finding comfort in her right now?
I don't have to take this crap from him anymore.

All of a sudden, Nora's talk of divorce wasn't sounding so bad.