Randomly dedicated to RaynaEpisode

Grace's P.O.V

"Nora!" I called from the kitchen.

"What?" I heard her answer back from somewhere in the house.

"Didn't we get eggs from the supermarket?"

"Yeah. They're somewhere in the fridge,"

I shook my head and peered into the fridge for the second time. It was packed with stuff. I have no idea how my sister manages to get to anything in all this chaos.
I expected the eggs to be on the door in their respective slots, but they weren't there. Nora probably never bothers to use the slots like a normal human being.

Taking a deep breath, I started to pull things out of the fridge. There was no way I was going to stay here with a refrigerator that looked like it had been packed by a five year.
Nora was lucky I had a knack for organizing.

Five minutes in and I could hear quarrelling coming from the front of the house. Nora was swinging obscenities like a drunk on a Friday night. I couldn't hear what the other person was saying, only the low hum of a male voice. I stood and made my way to the commotion. I was sure that Nora was arguing with a door-to-door sales man. She hated them.

Jeremy's P.O.V

"What the hell are you doing here?" Nora's voice was ice. Not a hint of care. 

I had hoped that Grace would open the front door when I knocked. I didn't particularly want to talk to Nora right now. I regarded her as I thought about her question. Her eyes were filled with anger as they gazed heavily upon me. Jawline tense and chiseled with arms set akimbo in a no nonsense type of way.

"Hello Nora. I just want to see Grace, please," I kept my eyes on hers as I spoke.

"I must be stupid to ever let you near her again. She doesn't want to see you,"

"I would like to hear that from her. I understand your apprehension, but she is my wife none the less. I want to see her,"

"No."

I swallowed hard to steady my breathing. I could feel myself getting angry. I expected Nora's resistance. It still wasn't easy talking to her. I would not work myself up. My anger never led to anything good.

"Please Nora. I want to see my son. It's been over three weeks. I just want to hold him. I just want to experience again what I lost for just a little while," I pleaded.

Nora looked like she was considering what I had said. A small bit of hope bloomed within me. Then her eyes glazed over with anger again and she shook her head.

"They don't want to see you. They don't need you Jeremy. Grace is truly happy. She's healthy without you beating the crap out of her. You don't deserve her attention. Now get your a-"

Nora stopped speaking and turned around. I looked behind her and my eyes settled on Grace. I swallowed hard again. I had rehearsed this elaborate speech while driving over here. Now my mind was blank.

Grace's P.O.V

Nora was standing in the doorway with her hands on her hips.

Things must be serious for her to pull that stance, I thought to myself.

The person outside said my name and my heart leaped in my chest. I recognized the voice instantly. My stomach was already filled with butterflies. I couldn't tell if they were butterflies of dread or something else.

"... I just want to experience again what  I lost for just a little while," 
Jeremy was saying. Nora hesitated like she was considering what he'd said. I expected her to let him see me. I was a little shocked at her response though, I'll admit. She was determined to keep him away.

"Nora," I called and interrupted her rant, " it's okay."

"But Grace I could-" she started.

"I can handle this. I won't take long. Give us a few minutes," my voice was soft, but firm. I could fight my own battles.

Nora gave Jeremy one last death stare then looked me over before heading back into the house.

I looked at Jeremy, but he was staring at the ground. I had seen him earlier today at Walmart. I thought that he would have tried to talk to me, but he just walked off towards the parking lot and left. What did he want now?

Jeremy's P.O.V

God please have mercy on me. I don't deserve her time, yet she's willing to see me. Please don't make me screw this up.
I prayed in my head.

I didn't look at her, but I could feel her eyes on me. She was waiting for me to say to something.

"Hey," I said quietly.

"Are you speaking to me or your shoes?" She asked with slight humor in her voice.

That gave me a bit of confidence and I raised my eyes to meet hers.

"Hey," I said again and she nodded.

"Hi."

Silence fell between us as I thought of what to say next.

"Do you want to see Levi?" She suggested before I could speak.

"Yes please," I replied with a eager smile.

Grace stepped aside and I entered the house. She closed the door behind us and then made her way upstairs. I hesitated before following her.

Grace's P.O.V

As we walked down the corridor to my room I focused on Jeremy's breathing behind me. It gave me a weird sense of comfort even though my stomach was doing flips. My heart was beating so fast and hard in my chest that I wondered if he could hear it.

I can't believe I'm doing this. I did not expect this day to take such a turn.

I stopped before my bedroom door and opened it quietly. Levi was still sleeping in his crib. I motioned to Jeremy and he went to him. I watched him carefully as he gazed down on Levi with a faint smile on his lips. He reached down and stroked Levi's hair.

"I've missed you little man," he whispered, "I messed up big time."

I rocked myself slightly as I stood in front the door.

Should I close the door? Should I give him some time alone with his son?

"I've started getting marriage counseling. I would like you to come with me next week," Jeremy said out of the blue.

I nodded, but then realized that he wasn't looking at me so I spoke,

"Okay,"

"I'll be taking a victims of abuse class as well. There are some things I need to deal with. I think you should take one too. I've hurt you so bad Grace," he said. This time he was looking directly at me.

"Yeah. I've been thinking about it," I admitted. Jeremy nodded before coming towards me. My breath hitched in my throat as he reached up and stroked my face.

"I'm sorry Grace. I should have been protecting you. All I've done is break you down," his words were so soft, but I caught them. I wanted to reach out and touch him as well, but I pulled away from him.

"You cheated Jeremy. You betrayed me. I can't just forget that. I won't,"

"I don't expect you to. Grace I've messed up so badly. I've been unfaithful to you and I regret it everyday. I regret so many things,"

"You can't just apologize your way back into my heart Jer. Being apart has given me time to think about a lot. To be honest, I've been thinking about making our separation permanent. I've been talking to my lawyer because I don't know if I can work through this,"

I waited for him to get upset. I was sure that he would go berserk.

Jeremy's P.O.V

She let me touch her. I've been dying to do that since I laid eyes on her. But then she pulled away and the reality of her pain hit me like a bullet.
She had been thinking about divorce. She admitted it to my face. I watched as she tensed up awaiting my response. I felt bad that she expected me to explode on her. But can I blame her? Exploding is what I've been doing for years. I let my eyes fall to the ground as I let out a sigh.

"I'm not going to hit you Grace. Please relax. You have all the right to leave me. Whatever you decide, I will respect because you deserve the best."

Grace grew quiet and I wondered if she was think about the guy I had seen her with at Walmart. I honestly hoped that he would treat her better than I did.

"What are you thinking about?" I asked.

"Us." she responded and then fell quiet again. Her lips formed a small pout and my insides ached with desire to pull her close to me. I knew that I shouldn't. I would let her be.

Grace's P.O.V

I was quite surprised with how calm Jeremy was being.
Was he seriously working on changing? Could he change for good?
I listened to everything he had to say. He would be willing to go through with divorce if it meant my happiness. That amazed me, but I didn't say so. Instead I lost myself in thought. I didn't want to make any hasty decisions. Having Jeremy here made me long for the old days, but was it just because I missed him? Could we really work through all this mess? I still couldn't get over his infidelity. That burnt me so badly knowing that I was oblivious for so long.
The thought of starting over alone with my son intrigued me slightly. I didn't see myself dating anyone soon, but knowing that I could start fresh and do things in my own timing appealed to me especially if Jeremy was going to be this open.

I glanced up at him. His hands were in his pocket, his eyes glazed over like he too was thinking a lot.
I needed more time to think things through. Sorting through my feelings for my husband would take a while and as unfair as it may seem, keeping him in suspense was all I could offer right now.

"I'm not coming home. I don't know what I'll do yet Jeremy. I need to think things through. You cheated. You hurt me really badly and being away from you has helped me heal a bit. I can't get over the thought of some other woman sharing what we have. Yes. I appreciate your efforts to change and be better, but I'm afraid of you. I've been afraid of you for a while and even if you never hit me again, trust will take some time to repair itself. Please don't take this the wrong way. I love you. I still care about you so much, but perhaps divorce could be the best option. I'm not saying that that's what I want to do. I haven't decided yet. I just think we should continue our separation for a while longer. Wait for me to decide what I want. You're given me a chance to make my own decision and when I do, I hope that we could go through with it together," I finished with a small sigh.

"How long do you need?" He asked. He still didn't look at me.

"A month at least. Let me gather myself,"

Jeremy didn't say anything, but I watched as his head snapped up while his hands pulled me to him. I let out a small squeal of panic at his sudden movement, but before I could brace myself his lips met mine. I didn't fight him. I let myself settle in his embrace as I kissed him back powerfully. I could feel myself getting lost in him. I missed this so much, but then the thought of someone else's lips on his crossed my mind and I pulled away with great effort.

Jeremy's P.O.V

I had to do it. I may never get a chance again. Against my better judgement, I kissed her and it was worth every second. At first I expected her to resist, but to my surprise, she melted right before me, kissing back just as eagerly. I tugged at her lips expertly as small moans escaped her mouth. Before I could do anything else, she pushed me away and I obeyed.

"Please don't do that. I can't afford to cloud my judgement right now," she stated.

"You didn't have to kiss me back," I countered with a small smile.

"You didn't have to kiss me,"

"It was worth it. I miss you," I said seriously.

Grace shook her head at me.

"You should go. Nora's probably having a fit downstairs,"

"Yeah, okay."

I walked back to Levi and gently laid a kiss on his forehead. He moved, but didn't wake up.
Grace walked me back down the stairs and at the front door I paused.

"Will you be coming to counseling with me next week then? I mean I don't want to cloud your judgement,"

Grace hesitated before speaking.

"I might as well get a taste of what I'll be returning to if we stay together. I'll be meeting with my lawyer next week as well so it will be okay,"

"Alright then. See you next week," I said before walking out towards my car.

The way she spoke of divorce so casually broke my heart. It sounded like she had made up her mind already.

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