Ryder's POV

"I agree my love." Was my reply to her mumbling worst beloved ever.

I knew.

I stared at her sleeping as I sat in my driveway. I have been a shit soulmate. After all this and almost losing her again will it change what I'm doing? I'm putting her needs on the back burner because I need to keep her safe. Not because I don't love her.

Does she even know how much I love her?

She gently stirred her in her sleep and lazily reached out to my side of the car. I stared at her hands wondered what she needed. She whimpered when she became cold and curled up again.

She was reaching for me.

I threw myself out of the car and went to her side and gently opened the door. She gently fell in my arms and she smiled as soon as we touched each other.

My body which was once tensed had finally relaxed. My muscles pained from being tensed since the last time I left her. I haven't held her and touched her.

I needed her.

Why did it take this long for me to realize everything I needed was in the smart assed beautiful mess of a woman?

I carried her through the door and up the stairs to my room. I laid her down and knelt by the side of the bed and watched her until she fell into a deep sleep.

Her breathing became calm and low. I smiled at the girl before me. The one who I always watched over. I would stare at from the back of the classroom. The one who made me smile on my worst days before I left her.

I need to be the man she needs and wants.

But first the shadow man.

I sighed as I stood up.

"Don't leave." She mumbled.

"Love. I have work to do." I said softly.

"No. You need to be with me." She growled out as she sat up in the bed.

It was pitch black in the bedroom. Even though she couldn't see me I know she could feel me.

I watched how her dark brown hair fell around her face. Her makeup slightly smudged from being drunk and sleeping in the car.

"Shower with me." She said. Well more like ordered.

I smirked at her tone of voice. She would try to tell me to do something when she's drunk.

"Don't smirk at me Ryder. Get me some fucking clothes and meet me in the shower." She ordered me again.

"Yes ma'am." I said smartly.

She rolled her eyes as she slowly walked by me.

A loud bump and then a moan full of pain quickly follower. She must have stubbed her toe.

"Fuck. Help me find the bathroom first Dracula. I can't see a damn thing." She grumbled and I chuckled. I picked her up and led her to the bathroom.

We showered as I stared. Creepily I might add. She commented on it a few times. I couldn't help it. I hadn't had a taste of an her in a while and I wanted to taste her again and again.

As soon as we stepped out of the shower she had a towel wrapped around her and I gave her some of my clothes to change in to.

"Sober enough my love?" I asked and she nodded in response.

"I said my peace on the fucking car. You need to respond to what I said." Her voice coming out barely above a whisper as she sat on the couch by my desk in my room.

"You're right. I'm a shit lover. A shit boyfriend, and a shit beloved. I have done it all wrong. I did it to keep you safe but all I did was push you away." I honestly spoke.

"You need to stop worrying about everything else and pay attention to me. That dude was at the club tonight. Staring at me from a dark corner. My first thought should have been to text you. But I didn't bother. Nicole texted Jack and I knew that you would find out regardless." She spoke freely. Her voice getting louder as she spoke more.

I deserved to be yelled at.

To be screamed at.

I don't deserve the affection or love from her.

"I love you Ryder. So fucking much. But I can't do this if it's all on me." She whispered.

"It won't be my love. Not anymore." I said.

"I've heard that before Ryder. Prove it by your actions. Do it old school. Date me. Prove to me that you want this." She said standing up and walking back to the bed.

I watch her strip herself of all the clothing and slip in to bed.

"Are you fucking coming to bed?" She asked loudly.

I muttered a curse and stripped, turning off the lights, and jumping in to bed beside her.

"Don't make me regret this asshole." She mumbled before she fell asleep again.

My love.

My everything.