Chapter Thirty-two

He was very right. Months ago, I wouldn’t ever admit to myself how right he was. Months ago, I would always stress how bad and how wrong everything he did to me were, I would hate to be anywhere near him and loathe to at least have a sight of him. Months ago, I wouldn’t have ever imagined or it would have never crossed my mind that we would be what we were now.

Who would have thought? Baka kapag nalaman ng mga magulang namin, baka hindi lang sila magulat, just we didn’t know as to what measure would they do if ever they would find out about us. Gaya nga ng sabi ko, the risk was scary, it wasn’t something worth taking because what was at stake was our relationship. Paano kung hindi nila magustuhuhan? Paano kung ilayo nila sa akin si Kuya Yoongi?

I was still not ready for something like that.

He was right. I was still too young to be in a commitment where emotions should be controlled and tamed, because I was like the very slave of my own emotions. Ako iyong tipo ng taong palaging kumikilos base sa kung anong nararamdaman ko. If I was sad and hurt, there was anything I could do but cry, it was a stimuli coming from within me. If I was happy, I would most likely show it too. My behavior was the reflection of my emotion so he was right.

He was right, but that didn’t mean I was wrong. There’s no wrong in following what you truly feel, it’s actually bravery. It wasn’t easy to accept what my heart had been screaming to me because at first, it felt wrong to me, it felt too deep for me to handle. At first, it felt wrong to me to be feeling something like this to someone I used to hate.

Also, did my heart need an explanation from Kuya Yoongi about Ate Mira’s stand in his life? My heart didn’t need an explanation because what he gave me was assurance, and it was more than enough. He assured me that Ate Mira might exist in his life, but not the way I existed in his life. He only wanted me, and that was more than enough to reassure me.

Kaya kahit na sila ni Ate Mira ang magka-pares sa dance sa naganap nilang Chirstmas ball noong nakaraang gabi, hindi ko iyon dinibdib. I just let the jealousy stayed in my mind but not in my heart because I knew, in his heart, it was only me. Kahit na puro posts ni Ate Mira kung nasaan silang dalawa ang nakikita ko sa IG na may tag pa ng username ni Kuya Yoongi na ako mismo ang gumawa, hinayaan ko iyon. For as long as his IG account still had one following… me.

Hindi ko rin naman maipagkakailang sobrang guwapo niya sa mga pictures. He was again in his familiar pair of white suit and white slacks, just I envied all the girls who attended their Christmas Ball because they got to see Kuya Yoongi in that outfit. Sa tuwing may Min Party, ganoon palagi ang outfit niya, alam din siguro niyang bagay-bagay sa kaniya iyon.

Ayaw ko na rin pang isipin kung ilang babae ang niyaya niyang sumayaw ng gabing iyon, o kung ilang babae ang nagawang hilahin siya para makipagsayaw.

What mattered was that at the following day, he found his way to our house and spent the first day of his Christmas break with me. Nagdala pa siya ng mga ingredients na gagamitin niya sa pag-bi-bake ng strawberry cookies na mayroon naman sa bahay. He actually planned to spend the whole break with me, I was surprised he didn’t drag his piano with him.

Letting my palms cover my mouth to suppress a giggle, I turned to my iPad that sat properly on the countertop as the screen showed me both of our reflections, I was nearer to the gadget since I was just leaning on the counter opposite of the center counter, taking my attention away from Kuya Yoongi’s broad back as he busied himself with what he was doing.

The fast movement of the comments at the left corner of the screen and the nonstop appearance of variants of hearts from the right down corner told me that a lot of viewers still stayed to watch Kuya Yoongi bake his famous strawberry cookies.

I meant, before I started this livestream with a caption of mentioning his IG username, a lot already joined us. Saglit lang din akong nag-introduction dahil mukhang wala namang nakikinig sa akin lalo na at puro pangalan niya ang nababasa ko sa comment section. My roses were starting to betray me to be honest.

Sa countertop ko piniling ilagay ang iPad ko para makita ang bawat mga kilos niya maging ang mga ingredients na gagamitin niya. It was a luck that our house’s kitchen was equipped with stuff he needed.

“What are you doing?” He was even confused when I followed him to the kitchen with my iPad in my hands when he said he would bake. Ngumuso lang ako sa kaniya dahil hindi ko alam kung papayag ba siyang i-film ko ang pag-bi-bake niya pero nang makita niyang dala ko ang iPad ko ay bumuntong-hininga siya saka mabagal na tumango, lumapit sa akin at hinalikan ako sa ulo.

He made me flushed with that. Hindi niya alam kung gaano ako naaapektuhan sa mga simpleng kilos niyang ganoon. He had been showing me his soft side, and it was scary to get used to it because I didn’t have the guarantee that it would be permanent. What he only gave me was the guarantee that it was only me, I still needed assurance for his attitude.

All throughout, he was asking me to hand stuff to him, he would ask me to hold things for him and to taste his mixing. I had never seen him bake his cookies so it amused me as I also watched him so focused on what he was doing. I meant, I had never seen someone so beautiful while intently doing something, the way his thin red lips would pout every time he would idle shortly as if thinking of what he should do next, the way his kitten eyes would roll to my form and meet my eyes as if checking for me, and the way his hands expertly did all the job, they were all mesmerising and beautiful.

Really, how could God create such a beautiful creation and let it mix with mortals? It actually should be illegal to walk on earth with that beauty, he could destruct a mentality and a heart… mines to be specific.

Kahit ang mga maids na aksidenteng nadatnan kami rito sa kusina at gulat na napapatitig sa kaniya ay halatang mesmerized din sa presensiya niya. Hindi malamang sanay ang mga ito sa madalas na niyang pagbisita rito sa manor ngayon. I told them it was fine if they had something to do here at the kitchen, they could freely and comfortably move around but each and every one of them only gave me a slight shake of head before stepping back out of the kitchen, not once they again raised a gaze at Kuya Yoongi who was nonchalant and just continued working on his cookies.

Naisip kong baka naiistorbo namin ang dapat ay trabaho nila rito sa kusina.

Nang matapos niyang maipasok sa oven ang tray ng mga cookies ay nakahalukipkip na humarap siya sa akin, nakasandal sa refrigerator habang tamad akong tinititigan. His lazy handsome form was very visible to the screen for our viewers to marvel at. Sa ideyang iyon ay hindi ko napigilang ngumuso dahil hindi maganda sa pakiramdam ang isiping pinagpapantasyahan siya ng iba.

Hindi pa nakatulong na kahit na simpleng pares ng beige plain oversized t-shirt at sweatpants lang ang suot niya ay litaw na litaw pa rin ang kaguwapuhan niya. His pitch black hair was messy, strands of his bangs were lightly covering his eyebrows, spectacles lazily hung over his nose and his thin lips were wet and red because of his casual and nonstop lickings.

Hindi na rin ako magtataka kung maglilitawan man ang screenshot ng livestream naming ito at kumalat sa feeds ko ang imahe niya…

He lightly tilted his head, still watching me intently as if waiting for me to do something. He must be well-aware how he could just stand there, do nothing and he could still send fluttering to my heart.

Gasping when his thin red lips protruded, I jumped along with the sudden leaping of my heart. Halos dalhin ko ang mga kamay ko sa dibdib ko sa takot na bigla na lang tumalon palabas ng dibdib ko ang puso ko.

It sounded exaggerating but that how it really felt.

If you haven’t yet felt like your heart is leaping out of your chest then you would fail to understand me.

“W-What…” Sobrang hina lang ng kinalabasan ng boses ko, napapaos pa na tila ilang taong hindi nagamit. I cleared my throat as I fixed my composure, remembering that there were at least hundreds of people watching us right now. “What?” Louder and clearer, I hardly bit my lower lip when a smirk slowly appeared from his lips, his kitten eyes were filled with the familiar amusement.

I also didn’t need to invade him mind to know how he was very aware of his effect to me. Alam niya iyon at palagi iyong nagdadala ng amusement sa kaniya. He really loved to see me react the way he was affecting me, for him, it was funny.

“End it,” simpleng sabi niya saka muling ngumuso, inginunguso ang gadget kong nasa countertop. Matagal akong nakasagot sa kaniya, nanghihina ang mga binti ko at pakiramdam ko, kung ihahakbang ko ang mga paa ko ay matutumba ako kaya hindi ko rin kaagad nasunod ang gusto niya. Sighing deeply, he stood straight before walking towards the counter. Yumuko siya para ilapit sa screen ang mukha niya.

As he let a wide smile stretch into his lips, his beautiful gummy smile was peeking, I knew it wasn’t only my being he quaked when he waved happily at the screen before clicking on it to finally end the livestream. Alam kong hindi lang ako ang nabaliw sa ngiti niyang iyon, aasahan ko nang papasabugin ng mga viewers namin kanina ang notification ko dahil sa kaniya.

Pouting hardly, my eyebrows furrowing, it was hard for me to stop myself from frowning because of what he did. How could he flirt in front of me?

Nang humarap siya sa akin ay kusang umangat ang mga braso ko sa dibdib ko at humalukipkip ako, masama na ang titig sa kaniya. He didn’t know how hard it was for me not to get affected every time I was seeing a random post from random people that regarded him! People were privileged to post something about him, admired him from a distance and show their admiration for him but here I was, very much restrained to post our photos together in my phone because I was afraid of what the public would say!

It wasn’t easy!

“Are you getting upset now?” he softly asked but the amusement that rang his voice didn’t escape my ears. Sa hitsura niya, tila alam na alam na niya kung paano ako babasahin.

“I am… you easily give smile to p-people…” I answered, hardly biting my lower lip to refrain myself from saying more.

His brows jumped high, his hands going anchored on his waist and his tongue appearing to wet his already wet lips. “Is that a bad thing?”

“You… y-you don’t do that to me…” Yumuko ako dahil kahit na alam ko kung gaano ka-immature iyon, hindi ko mapigilang isipin kung gaano siya kasuplado noon sa akin.

It was actually a rare occasion to see him smile before, it was only when he was playing with his piano, I would catch him smiling but it wasn’t directed to me, it was for his beloved piano. Kahit nitong nakaraan, kahit ngayong kami na, palagi pa rin akong nalalagutan ng hininga sa tuwing ngumingiti siya ng malapad dahil hindi niya iyon madalas gawin. It just didn’t feel right for me how he could easily give smile to people and only rarely to me.

He was being unfair.

I hardly held my ground, forcing my knees not to betray me and let me fall to the ground when I felt him move. Ang panunuot ng pamilyar niyang bango sa pang-amoy ko ang nagsabi sa aking tuluyan na siyang nakalapit sa akin, isama pa ang pares ng mga mapuputi niyang paa na nababalutan ng itim na indoor slippers. Even his toes were worth falling for, like, was there anything flawed about him?

“You want my smile then?” he asked, his voice weighing as the glassy circles of his eyes were quick to trade his amusement into something dark and primal…

Tumango ako kahit na nakayuko pa rin, ang mga mata ay bahagyang sumusulyap sa kaniya. Confessing things to him wasn’t so hard for me anymore, I pampered my emotion so much just like how he pampered me. Na kaya kong isiwalat sa kaniya ang bawat nararamdaman ko sa tuwing nandiyan siya at ibinibigay iyong reaksiyon na kailangan ko. He just knew so much how to handle my emotions, careful and better than the way I did.

“What about me? You don’t want me?”

Hearing his soft urging voice, I bravely raised my head to meet his kitten eyes that were staring deeply and darkly at me behind the glasses of his spectacles. No smiles and dark primal eyes but with the loud beats of my heart, it was even too doubtful to hear his soft voice despite the look he was giving me, nevertheless, I softly gazed back at him as I honestly answered, “I do… so much.”

Halos hindi ako makatitig ng diretso sa kaniya matapos niyang ikabit sa dingding ng leisure room ko ang huling framed drawing ko kasama ang iba pa na napagdesisyunan kong ikabit din. I meant, I was really planning to design them all to the walls of my room, it just didn’t really occur to me that it would be him who would do the work.

Nagsabi na ako kay Daddy na kailangan ko ng taong gagawa noon para sa akin kagabi sa dinner pero nag-volunteer siyang siya ang gagawa dahil nasa hapag din naman siya kagabi!

He didn’t stay here last night to sleep after the dinner but he arrived here early like the past days. Matapos ko siyang samahan kagabi sa balcony ng kuwarto ko habang naninigarilyo siya, na pinilit kong huwag paki-alaman sa kaniya kahit na hindi ko iyon gusto, ay sinabi niyang hindi siya mag-i-stay pero babalik naman siya kinabukasan. That had been our routine ever since Christmas break started, my parents weren’t really paying attention to how we were always together, for them, it was a good thing that we were finally hanging out with each other.

After breakfast earlier, he decided to start working on my framed drawings. Hindi ko pa rin nakakalimutang siya ang bumili ng lahat ng iyon sa exhibit para lang muling ibalik sa akin.

He causally dusted off the back of his black ripped jeans before he turned around to face me, very unaware how embarrassing it was for me to see him together with my drawings that had his face. Ni wala akong ideya kung natutuwa ba siya sa mga iyon. I could still remember how he got mad when I drew him without his permission at the Min Mansion back then.

“Your drawing skills have improved so much…” Nameywang siya habang nakatitig sa akin.

“You’re not mad I used your face…” Lumunok ako saka mabilis na nag-iwas ng tingin kaya nauwing nasa kandungan ko ang mga mata ko.

“No, I’m glad because it only shows that I’m always in your mind.”

And sweet words had always been his thing. I would have never thought that he was like this as a boyfriend. Ni hindi ko maiisip na kaya niyang magpaka-sweet kung magkaka-girlfriend man siya kaya siguro ngayon ay pinupurga niya ako ng ka-sweet-an. Ang nakaka-inis pa, napaka-effortless niyang magpakilig. I didn’t even know if he was even thinking of everything that came out of his mouth!

And how right he was again. Pag-aari na ng pangalan niya at ng buo niyang pagkatao ang isipan ko, to the point na ipipikit ko na lang ang mga mata ko sa gabi ay mukha niya ang lilitaw sa isipan ko at maghahari sa panaginip ko, paggising kinabukasan ay siya pa rin ang hahanapin ko.

In an instance, just everything in my life had become just about him, and only him.

Was it a good thing? For now, yes.

Nanatili akong nakatitig sa mga kamay kong nasa ibabaw ng kandungan ko pero rinig ko ang mga kalmadong yapak ng mga paa niya nang maglakad siya. Sighing at my heart once again doing somersault just because of his nearness, I refrained from raising my head to look up at him because I knew, his beauty would be so much for my eyes to take again. I just focused myself on calming down my heart and chasing after my breath…

Why was he seriously doing this to me? Napaka-unfair. Ibang-iba ang epekto niya sa akin pero parang wala naman akong epekto sa kaniya! He should also feel the same suffering I was internally going through because of him!

“Yet you dared to sell your drawings? I’m still not over that, Julie. Enlighten me…” Isa pa iyang pagiging bossy niya tapos sobrang lambot naman ng boses… hindi ko tuloy alam kung pinapagalitan ba niya ako o ano. Hindi ko rin alam kung gugustuhin ko bang galitin siya.

It was true that his punishment was stomach-twirling, but it was also gut-killing. Baka lumuhod na lang ako sa harap niya at hinging ibigay ang sukdulan sa akin oras na ulitin na naman niya iyon.

I pouted, letting my fingers battle on top of my lap. “It’s for school purposes…” I lowly answered.

“Hm?”

Kumunot ang noo ko dahil sa simpleng sagot niya na iyon kaya mabilis akong nag-angat ng tingin sa kaniya. He stood magnificent and very intimidating in front of me, hands on his waist and one brow arched as if he wasn’t just about to accept such simple answer from me and that he needed something more reasonable. Reasonable naman iyon!

Matagal akong nakipagtitigan sa kaniya kahit na sobrang hirap noon dahil ayaw ko nang magbigay pa ng ibang sagot sa kaniya pero dapat inasahan ko nang hindi basta-basta ganoon na lang iyon. He was Yoongi Min, if there were other people who knew me more than my parents did, it would be him.

“You couldn’t be telling me now that you willingly presented those drawings because I know, you wouldn’t. Kilala kita, Julie…” Mabagal na kumurap ang mga mata niya kasabay nang paglalim ng boses niya sa huling mga salita. He seriously looked so intimidating, superior and very imposing.

Softening under his primal and intimidating stares, I hardly bit my lower lip and stared shyly at him. Ayaw ko na sanang malaman niya ang tungkol sa mga naunang drawings ko na nasira dahil hindi ko alam kung anong puwede niyang gawin. The school’s student body had been doing their very best to investigate and find out who did those to my drawings and I was already letting those people off the hook because I didn’t want chaos. Palalagpasin ko kasi wala namang nasaktan…

“Julie…” He sternly called my name, lightly advancing towards me until his knees touched mine. Bahagya pa akong napa-igtad sa ginawa niyang iyon.

“The original drawings I presented were ruined so I didn’t have a choice but to present those…”

“And you planned to keep this from me?”

I slowly nodded my head, praying that he wouldn’t turn beast mode about this one. Kaya ko namang palagpasin iyon, tapos na iyon kaya dapat ay kinakalimutan na. Gulping hard when his kitten eyes behind his specs turned blander, emotions gone but his jaws still showed how mad he was right now, I felt my heart hurt seeing him like this.

He slowly took steps backward before throwing his head back, his Adam’s apple coming into view as he breathed harshly. His chest moving up and down, as if trying to calm himself.

Clearly, he wasn’t pleased.

“K-Kuya, I just don’t think I should make a big deal out o-of—“

“The big deal here’s you don’t trust me enough to tell me things like this, Julie.”

Yumuko ako habang kagat-kagat ko ang pang-ibabang labi ko dahil mas sumakit ang dibdib ko nang matunugan ko ang bahagyang pagkakabasag ng boses niya. Mabilis na nanubig ang mga mata ko pero mabilis ko rin namang inangat ang isang braso ko para punasan iyon. It actually never crossed my mind to tell him, let alone think about trusting him about that one because I knew, he wouldn’t just let it go.

Now I knew, that was my fault.

“You didn’t even tell me about the exhibit you joined. Tell me, is my feelings just a joke to you?”

Harshly shaking my head, my tears finally made their way out of my eyes and sobs sounded from my mouth. I raised both of my hands to reach for him but he just took a step back again, refusing to be held. Mas naiyak ako. Hindi ko naman talaga naisip iyon e, at nakaka-guilty kasi tama siya. Pinapatunayan ko lang sa kaniyang hindi pa nga ako handa sa mga ganitong relasyon.

I knew nothing about relationships, hurting him was something I couldn’t control because I was just going the way my heart told me to. Ni hindi ko alam na sinasaktan ko na pala siya. Iyon iyong bagay na pinipilit kong iwasan pero hindi ko alam kung paano pipigilan… avoiding it wouldn’t help, I should find ways not to make it happen. At hindi ko alam iyon.

“Kuya!” Tumayo ako sa pagkaka-upo sa couch na inuupuan ko saka mabilis na pinutol ang distansiya namin, niyakap ko siya bago pa man siya makalayo. I hugged him so tight because he just didn’t know how painful it was knowing he was also hurting by the way I was immaturely handling our relationship.

Hindi ko naman siya gustong saktan. It was just the way I chose to love him hurt him.

Natigilan ako sa naisip ko, kasabay ng mga hikbing kumakawala sa bibig ko ay ang pagsinghap ko sa dibdib niya, ang mga daliri ko ay kaagad na kumapit sa likod na parte ng damit niya. Masyado pa akong bata para roon, bago ako sa mga ganitong pakiramdam pero wala na akong ibang naiisip na sagot para ipaliwanag kung ano itong nararamdaman ko para sa kaniya.

Maybe, just maybe, Cali was right. Maybe love doesn’t really come to old people only, love really is no boundary, it chooses no people. Maybe, just maybe, what was my heart had been going through, that deep and scary, maybe it was love.

It was hurting me because it was love.

He didn’t move, he just let me hug him tightly as I made him feel like letting him go would seriously devastate me. I held onto him so tightly as if making him feel that I was also hurting for his pain. Na kung nasasaktan ko man siya, handa akong bumawi at iparamdam sa kaniya kung ano iyong isinisigaw ng puso ko. His strawberry scent that soothed into my nose somehow shortly made my heart at ease but only until I felt his hands softly hold my arms in attempt to take them away from him.

Marahas akong umiling saka mas nagsumiksik pa sa kaniya, kusang nagpakawala ng iyak ang bibig ko bilang protesta sa gusto niyang gawin.

“I’m s-sorry! I’m so s-sorry!” I cried harder against his chest before I felt his hard body start easing up against mine. Ang kaninang mararahas niyang paghinga ay bumagal na kasabay nang pagpulupot ng mga braso niya sa akin. As I hugged him tight, he hugged me much tighter, one arm around my waist while one arm in my underarm so his hand would hold my nape before he sank his face into my neck.

Hindi ko alintanang sa sobrang higpit ng yakap niya sa akin ay halos hindi na ako makahinga. He was squeezing my body so tight and so hard against his hard one, it felt to me like he was also trying to get strength from me by the way he was holding me.

“I’m so sorry, K-Kuya…” Paulit-ulit akong humingi ng tawad sa kaniya dahil sa pagkakataong ito, alam kong ako ang mali.

“Ssh, you must’ve really known how your precious tears and your painful sobs are my weakness. Stop now…” marahang bulong niya sa akin, ang mga labi ay bahagyang dumidikit sa balat ng leeg ko. “I’m not mad, I’m not mad anymore, baby.”

Even until the end, he showed me that to be mature in a relationship, I would have to understand everything even if it meant, it didn’t favor me. I would have to hold my anger just to give way for what my heart truly desired. He showed me that I would have to take control over my emotions…

He showed me that no matter how mad he was, he wouldn't let it drive him because he loved me more than his own emotions could drive him.

Umaga ng pasko, hindi lang ang mga kasambahay sa bahay ang abala, maging ang mga magulang ko dahil napagpasyahan ng mga itong imbitahin ang Min family para sa isang dinner. They said it had been like forever since Min family had set a foot into our land and that it was a good idea to celebrate the early hours of Christmas with them. They never asked my opinion about it but I gladly lent mine, saying I would love it.

“How’s you and your Kuya Yoongi, sweet pea?” malambing na tanong ni Mommy isang gabi habang nag-di-dinner kami bago tuluyang mapagdesisyunan ang pag-iimbita sa Min family dito sa bahay.

Kuya Yoongi was here earlier but he needed to go home for some unknown reason and made sure to come back here tomorrow.

I tried so hard not to frown with what my Mommy said as I just gave her a small smile. “We’re fine than ever, Mommy…”

“I’m glad you’re already hanging out with him. See? He’s not that bad, you’d just have to give him a chance.” Naging abala na sila sa pag-uusap ni Daddy na lubos kong ipinagpasalamat dahil hindi ako sigurado kung magagawa ko pa bang pigilan ang sarili kong huwag na magsalita ng tungkol sa amin ni Kuya Yoongi.

I didn’t want how they were both thinking so platonic about my relationship with Kuya Yoongi. Maiintindihan ko rin naman sila pareho kung sasabihin nilang wala kasi akong kapatid at gusto lang nila parehong maramdaman kahit papaano ang magkaroon ng lalaking anak sa katauhan ni Kuya Yoongi, pero hindi ko alam kung hanggang kailan ko sila kayang intindihin. I loved them both so much but I didn’t think my heart would seriously stay idle if they happened to push me to my limit.

Hiding things from them was hard alone itself, what more having to hear from them unpleasant things I wouldn’t seriously like to happen in actual? Hindi ko ma-imagine na maging totoong Kuya si Kuya Yoongi. I might just push myself down the grand staircase… kidding aside though.

Habang naghahanda ang lahat sa bahay ay nasa kuwarto ako at kausap si Cali sa telepono. She was already at their car on the way to our manor. Kahapon ko pa talaga siya in-invite dito sa bahay para maka-bonding siya dahil mahaba-haba pa ang bakasyon at para na rin maipakilala siya sa mga magulang ko. My Mommy was very happy upon knowing I had a friend coming over, though it was in the middle of our preparation for the night coming, she told me to make my friend feel very welcome and at home.

The moment a familiar car halted in front of the De Asis manor indicating the arrival of my best friend, my heart started beating so loud it made my feet also halt from excitedly striding down the stairs to meet her. I didn’t know if acting like there wasn’t anything happened would be a good idea but I seriously didn’t except Cali to bring her brother here as her driver when she knew all alone what happened.

Napag-usapan na namin ang tungkol dito. She wasn’t of course happy about it.

[“It’s the reason why I tried so hard not to let your paths cross again. Matigas lang talaga ang ulo ni Kuya…”] Cali once said to me through the phone one night when we were having a call session, one of the things we both had coped up with since the vacation started. Naalala ko ngang halos ipagtabuyan niya ang kapatid niya sa tuwing ito ang sumusundo sa kaniya, pinatigil niya rin ito. I thought it was only because she didn’t want other girls fan girling over her brother.

Hindi ko alam na ako pala ang dahilan.

“You should’ve told me, Cali. I feel bad for hurting your brother—“

[“Oh please don’t be. He has ways to cope up with his broken heart, Fraye, trust me. He has been dating several girls, even Daddy has been having headaches because of him.”]

Hindi rin naman ako galit sa kaniya sa paglilihim noon sa akin, nalulungkot lang ako dahil alam kong masakit din para sa kaniya ang nangyari. I wasn’t also happy about the fact that Cody de Villa resulted to dating girls just to cope up with it. I didn’t mean to break his heart as what Cali said so I just felt my heart hurt knowing I hurt her brother.

Seriously, why was everyone liking me all of a sudden? Like guys who weren't personally knew me. Puwede ba iyon? Magkagusto sa taong hindi mo naman lubusang kilala?

Daniel Kang might just like me, not for who I was but for what he saw in me. I understood him in that part, I showed people the flawless me in social media. Cody de Villa, I didn't know where his interest in me came from. Dahil ba nakikita niya ako sa The Min's resto-bar? I didn't think it was enough reason to like me…

“That just makes me even guiltier…” I told Cali.

Sinabi naman niyang simpleng crush lang ang nararamdaman sa akin ng Kuya niya na kahit papaano ay nagpagaan ng nararamdaman ko. Pinaniwalaan ko rin iyon dahil kung sakali mang malalim na iyon, hindi naman siguro magiging ganoon kadali lang para kay Cody de Villa na pakawalan ako? Because if it was me, it wouldn’t seriously be so easy for me to let Kuya Yoongi go. I would fight for him, all for my feelings.

That was how it was, right? You fight for something or even someone you love.

And now, Cali was proving me how everything wasn’t a big deal for her, and for his brother. I shouldn’t think much about it but I just couldn’t act so normal about it when everything was new to me. Ni hindi ko nga alam kung paano haharapin si Cali.

Sighing deeply in relief, I sent Cali a small smile when she quickly closed the door upon going out of the backseat, being assisted by some of the Min guards that littered around. Hindi na rin niya hinintay na makababa ako ng tuluyan dahil itinaboy na niya ang sasakyan saka ako sinalubong sa hagdan.

She was too pretty in her cool yellow summer dress, it was halter-top so her white shoulders and delicate collarbone were in sight, it was paired with a white ankle heels. Ang mahaba niyang buhok ay maayos na naka-ponytail tulad ng nakasanayan niya. She was too pretty while I was too simple in my pair of denim overall above a white loose shirt, my feet were protected with my pink indoor slippers that had a Peppa pig design. My curly long hair was just messily gathered in a bun.

Minsan naiinggit ako sa pagiging mature looking ni Cali pero aminado naman ako sa sarili kong hindi ako marunong mag-ayos tulad ng sa paraan niya ng pag-aayos. I was always contented with my pair of overall and a t-shirt or my classical dresses that Kuya Yoongi loved so much.

“I’m doing you a favor. Hindi ko gustong ihatid niya ako, Daddy made him do it. I know you’d feel uncomfortable seeing my brother…”

And I was so thankful because she was very understanding. Also, I knew she treasured her brother that was why she was doing this. She was doing me and her brother a big, very big favor…

Magkahawak-kamay kaming umakyat pabalik sa manor habang nakasunod sa amin ang ilang mga Min guards na huminto rin naman nang makapasok kami sa main gate. I brought her to the living room and made her sit, I even handed her the remote control so she could entertain herself with the television while I went to the kitchen to fetch my Mommy so she would meet my best friend.

Nakangiting tumango siya, sinasabing magiging okay siya.

Fetching my Mommy from the kitchen while she handed task by task to every maid wasn’t that hard. I just mentioned to her that Cali already arrived and she was already excitedly dragging me out of the kitchen, mumbling about how she really had waited for a moment like this. She even told me to wait so she could also fetch my father from his house office but I quickly shook my head.

“Mommy, Daddy can meet her later. I don’t want to disturb Daddy…”

With a light kiss on my head, she nodded her head in understanding before once again dragging me to the living room. Hindi pa man kami tuluyang nakakarating ay nakita na namin si Cali na abala ang mga mata sa TV habang nananahimik ang mga kamay sa ibabaw ng kandungan niya kung nasaan din ang remote control. Skipping at her feet, my Mommy instantly disappeared from my side as I only saw the back of her white floral dress, her long black hair hanging loosely behind her.

My heart swelled in happiness. She was clearly too happy and very excited.

“Hi darling!” masayang bati niya kay Cali na kagaad na lumingon, she quickly sat beside my best friend stopping Cali’s attempt of standing up.

“Hello!” Cali greeted back, showing the same amount of enthusiasm my mother was showing.

Hindi ko tuloy napigilang ngumuso dahil alam kong magkakasundo sila, hindi mahirap pakisamahan si Cali dahil natural siyang friendly at bubbly habang si Mommy naman ay ganoon din. Both my parents were very approachable, sila iyong tipo ng mga taong hindi ma-a-out of place sa isang pagtitipon dahil marunong silang makisama.

Sometimes, it was me who was doubting if I was really a De Asis, because even Kuya Fern and Kuya Key were both so approachable, they could also blend with the crowd and be with other people without difficulties.

“So you’re Cali, aww, you’re so pretty. Tell me, darling, my daughter isn’t so hard to befriend, right…”

Ngumuso ako habang umuupo sa single couch sa gilid ng long couch kung nasaan sila. I knew how foreign this moment for me and Mommy, it was the first time I ever brought a friend to the manor to introduce to her. Siyempre gugustuhin ni Mommy na malaman kung paano kami naging magkaibigan ni Cali. I watched as Cali smiled wider, her round big eyes that had the shades of pink rolling towards my form before she smirked.

“It was…” natatawang sagot niya. “Napaka-arte po niya, she didn’t want to befriend me at first but of course, when you really want someone to be your friend, you won’t stop until you get their good side. It was hard but worth it…”

With that, my lips slowly pulled up for a small smile though I tried so hard to hide it. Aaminin ko ring tama siya roon. I actually really tried to distance myself from her before because I wasn’t ready to have someone like her in my life yet, she was just too loud for me, too careless and too strong, like I thought our personalities wouldn’t match because we were the opposite of each other.

Nagpapasalamat akong insistent siya noon at hindi siya tumigil na kunin ang loob ko… I wouldn’t have her as my friend now if she did. Hindi ko rin ma-imagine ang sarili ko ngayon na walang Cali de Villa sa buhay ko. I also wouldn’t want anyone as my best friend but her, only her.

“Aw, I’m so sorry about that but thank you so much for dealing with my sweet pea. I hope you stay friends forever.” Hindi pa nakatulong na sobrang lambot ng boses ni Mommy. She sounded so thankful, and very much pleased. Tumayo ako at tumabi sa kaniya saka ko siya niyakap, agad din namang yumakap sa akin ang isang braso niya para mas isiksik pa ako sa kaniya.

“We’ll be friends forever, right Fraye?” Cali said.

“Forever…” I mumbled, feeling my cheeks heating up because I was both flushed and happy.

Nag-usap pa kami ng kung anu-ano lang sa living room habang kumakain ng pinahanda ni Mommy na blueberry strawberry shortcake at apple juice. My Mommy asked Cali about her family, and before anyone could open a conversation about business, a maid hesitantly approached us to inform my Mommy that Daddy wanted her to his office now.

“Okay, you girls enjoy for now. Make sure to make room in your tummies for lunch later, okay? Fraye’s father’s probably just missing me…”

Nang mawala si Mommy ay saglit pa kaming nagtinginan ni Cali bago sabay na natawa. Minsan naiisiip ko, dahil malamang sa dalas naming magkasama ni Cali sa school ay nagiging pareho na kami ng iniisip. We would just stare at each other and then we would know what we were both thinking. Matatawa na lang din kami sa mga sarili namin.

As the maids continued doing their works, we both bonded in the living room, watching television as we talked some random things. Napag-usapan namin ang tungkol sa mga pinaplano ng mga pamilya namin pagkatapos ng Christmas at bago ang New Year. She told me they were going to spend their new year in Finland with their other relatives there. It was a family tradition in her part, while I just told her that my family might also spend New Year with the Mins like the Christmas.

“Your family really is a close friend with the Mins…” she said when I mentioned Min family.

Carefully putting the glass of my juice back down on the center table, I slowly nodded my head, my eyes rolling towards her from the TV but her eyes remained stuck on the screen. Hindi naman siya mukhang interesado sa sinabi niya, she was just stating a fact she observed.

“Ever since time immemorial…”

Agad din namang nabago ang topic namin nang lumitaw ang trailer ng isa sa mga pinaka-inaabangang movie ngayon kaya roon naman napunta ang usapan namin. I knew nothing about the movie since I hadn’t watched its previous episodes though the trailer made me somewhat feel thrilled, while she was clapping all the time mentioning every hero’s name she recognized.

It was like that when we both heard noises coming from the main door that made our attention get pulled from the television.

“I told you already, Joon, Kuya’s coming and everything about the company will be under his hands. I can’t sign anything just to leave to him…”

“Can’t you consider this as a favor for me? Kuya, Min Industries is what Kim Records needs right now.”

“You couldn’t be telling me that your company’s limping because I won’t believe you. Go, and mess Hoseok or Jimin, I’m not signing anything.”

“I know about your compositions, they’re good.”

I watched silently, though my heart leaping internally, as two figures appeared from the main door. One looking so formal and very intimidating in his pair of black suit under a white dress shirt and black slack, his black hair parted in the middle showing his forehead while looking so distress, and one looking so casual and heart-leaping in his black and brown flannel long sleeves polo that was opened all the way showing his black oversized shirt underneath, a washed-out jeans on the bottom and a pair of boyfriend sneakers. His black hair was messy as locks of it were covering his lazy kitten eyes behind specs that instantly found mine.

Nagkita naman kami kahapon pero hindi talaga ako masanay-sanay sa presensiya at hitsura niya. It was like he could make my breath caught in my throat every single day.

Kung si Kuya Namjoon ay mukhang problemado, siya naman ay parang walang paki-alam sa paligid, at tila malalaglag na ang mga mata sa antok.

Lamely sending a small smile his way, my heart almost came to a halt when his thin red lips slowly stretched into a wide smile, revealing his beautiful gummy smile. Iniwan niya si Kuya Namjoon sa kinatatayuan nila para mabilis na makalapit sa amin. Strawberry scent all over the place as he gently placed himself beside me, though closer, he made sure to make a decent distance since we weren’t alone.

Alam ni Cali ang tungkol sa amin, pero hindi si Kuya Namjoon.

“How’s my pretty baby?” he whispered in a low raspy voice, I doubted if Cali even heard him. He really made sure I was the only one who could hear him.

Pursing my lips tightly to suppress an even wider smile, I just bowed my head as I mumbled in also a low voice, enough for him to hear. “I missed you…”

He nodded happily, still showing me his gummy smile before it slowly disappeared when he once again turned to Kuya Namjoon. Lihim tuloy akong natawa dahil parang sa akin niya lang ipinapakita ang ngiti niyang iyon. It was like I was the only privileged one to see his beautiful gummy smile. Kung wala lang si Cali rito at si Kuya Namjoon ay baka niyakap ko na siya ng sobrang higpit, ang bango-bango rin niya at paniguradong magtatagal na naman akong nakasiksik lang sa kaniya.

It became my favorite, to be wrapped in his arms as I silently smelled his good scent.

“Hey smartass, you got stoned there?” His voice was so much ruder and harder than his low raspy voice earlier as he talked to Kuya Namjoon.

Nilingon ko si Kuya Namjoon na ngayon ay nakatayo pa rin sa kinatatayuan niya pero wala sa amin ang mga mata. His pair of small eyes was directed to the figure beside me, who miraculously hadn’t said anything when the two guys arrived. Normally, she always had something to say. Nilingon ko naman si Cali. My best friend had her arms cross in front of her chest, her round big eyes narrowing as she glared at Kuya Namjoon.

Kung kami ni Kuya Yoongi ay may sariling mundo kanina, mukhang ganoon din sila sa paraan ng pagtititigan nila. Though Kuya Namjoon’s eyes were confused, I couldn’t help but think if they knew each other.

It wasn’t most likely for Cali to act this way towards someone. Siguro nga masungit siya pero hindi ganito. It was like she was trying to kill Kuya Namjoon in her mind by throwing dagger stares to him.

“Let them be and let’s go to your leisure room…” And maybe, Kuya Yoongi knew how focused the two on each other so he bravely circled his arms around my waist before carefully pulling me towards his body. I weakly let my back lean on his hard chest, feeling his soft lips leaving feather light kisses on my earlobe. “I want to kiss you.”

That was like the most tempting things he had ever said that I seriously wouldn’t ever dare turn down, even if I would, I couldn't.