Chapter Thirty

“Five minutes, Niel. You have a scheduled meeting with the producers in an hour, we don’t want the company to send people to come and get you here.” From staring authoritatively at the shy man who stood awkward though very cute in front of me, I then brought my eyes to the man who spoke, the strict looking man who I just knew as Daniel Kang’s manager instantly sent a polite nod my way.

Mabilis din naman siyang nag-iwas ng tingin saka tumikhim habang namumulsa.

“F-Five minutes? Too short, Manager…” Daniel Kang cutely whined at the man, low-key sending his protest for the time given to him to talk to me.

Wala nang tao ngayon sa auditorium bukod sa aming tatlo. The student body went out already upon sensing that Daniel Kang wanted to talk to me alone. Pormal silang nagpaalam at in-assure kaming walang makaka-alam na nandito si Daniel Kang ngayon at kausap ako. If they thought that eased me up, well they were wrong, it took me so much courage not to pull Cali to stay here with me because being alone with Daniel Kang didn’t sound good for me but I didn’t want to humiliate the rapper-model when he seriously went here for me.

Mukha naman siyang harmless, mukha ngang siya pa iyong mas nangangailangan ng bantay sa aming dalawa. The first time I saw him on the video he posted, I knew from how the way he acted, I knew he was a shy guy. Medyo surprising para sa isang katulad niya na madalas lumabas sa camera, at lumitaw sa harap ng maraming tao. He was a performer so his shy demeanor just didn’t fit his personality.

Cali reassured me that she would be waiting outside of the auditorium. She even jokingly added that I would just have to scream if Daniel Kang would even dare touch me, which I seriously laughed off because I didn’t think he would even do. Or maybe he would, but not to bring harm to me.

I silently watched as his manager loudly uttered a defeated sigh before gently nodding his head at Daniel Kang. “Fine, take your time. I’ll just call the producers and tell them you have something more important things to do so you’ll be late. Niel, I’m telling you, this is a risk…” Mariin niyang tinitigan si Daniel Kang na nakangiting tumango lang bago siya tumalikod, hindi na muling bumaling sa akin.

Clearly, from the way the manager had easily caved into Daniel Kang's whims, I could tell that the rapper-model was spoiled. Iyong artistang palaging nasusunod ang gusto dahil masyadong pinapahalagahan ng agency.

The fluttering in my heart that I thought had left me already came back to me when the realization that we were really left alone inside the backstage of the auditorium quickly dawned into me. Mahigpit na kumapit sa sling ng suot kong bag ang mga kamay ko at halos mahigit ko ang paghinga ko nang bumaling siya sa akin.

We both have a fair and decent amount of distance in between us but his strong manly scent, representing a luxurious brand of perfume, was getting into me. It was intoxicatingly distracting and addictive. It smelled so boyish, fitting his personality and neat aura.

The room was very vast, but the operation in my heart was making it hard for me to consume all the available air to breathe. I meant, I was just seeing him on the screen, I knew very well how popular he was that everyone wanted to see him in person, and here he was, standing realistically handsome just feet away from me while throwing shy and awkward smiles my way.

I wasn't being affected the same way Kuya Yoongi did to my very being, it just seriously stunned me to see him personally now.

Hindi ako makapaniwalang sa dami ng mga magagandang teen actresses and models na nakakatrabaho niya, hindi ako makapaniwalang may gusto siya sa akin. I just wanted to think that it was a want of having me as his friend… I wished. Dahil hindi ko alam kung anong magiging reaksiyon ko kung hindi ganoon ang gusto niya.

“Uh, it’s really nice meeti—“

“Thanks for comi—“

I instantly shut my mouth when my voice got caught up with his beautiful soft baritone when we spoke at the same time. Sabay pa kaming yumuko dahil sa kahihiyan. It took us again a moment of agonizing silence, it felt like we were both just waiting for whoever from us would bravely pop the awkward bubble that surrounded us.

It felt like we were both weighing the situation, it didn't even help that we were both shy to each other!

“Should I speak fir—“

“You look prettier—“

Sabay na naman kaming nagsalita at sa pagkakataong ito, damang-dama ko na ang pag-iinit ng mga pisngi ko dahil sa sinabi niya. Mabilis akong nag-angat ng tingin sa kaniya para lang makasalubong ang nanlalaki niyang mga mata, buka ang mga labi na para bang hindi niya inaasahang iyon ang lalabas sa bibig niya. Hindi ko rin inaasahan iyon!

I seriously didn’t know how to handle things like this.

Here was a very handsome guy who confessed to me that he liked me months ago, my heart was fluttering nonstop in appreciation and gratefulness but my mind was hanging, it was lost.

Una sa lahat, kahit paulit-ulit na lang, sikat siya, pinapangarap ng marami, hindi iyon nakakapagtaka dahil bukod sa may hitsura niya, sa paraan ng pagkilos niya, masasabi kong mabait siya. Pangalawa, umamin siyang may gusto siya sa akin noon, kaya paanong hindi ako mahihiya? I wasn't that beautiful compare to those beautiful ladies he was working with!

And most of all, my mind was travelling back to where my heart had been, Kuya Yoongi was at The Min's Café, it wouldn't probably be good to let him see Daniel Kang here, let alone let him know that the rapper-model was here for me. That Daniel Kang was my special bidder that he was too eager to meet earlier! Ayaw ko na ring isipin pa kung anong magiging reaksiyon niya…

Sinubukan kong i-focus ang sarili ko at isipin na muna kung paano ko i-ha-handle ang nangyayari ngayon. Somehow, when I again saw Daniel Kang's shy smile, my heart started easing up as my mind was being pulled back to the now's situation. I would again admit, having someone like him to compliment me was very flattering.

“T-Thank you…” mahinang sabi ko, bahagya akong ngumiti sa kaniya habang unti-unting napapayukong muli dahil masyadong malalim ang mga mata niya. They were easy access to be honest, they showed the nakedness of his emotions and that was what drowned me, he was too honest and very transparent.

The guilt I was feeling was just dancing within me, that every time he would smile kindly at me, or stare warmly, my heart was twitching in pain because he was seriously very nice. Maiintindihan ko naman kung magagalit siya sa akin dahil hindi ko na siya pinapansin sa social media… pero hindi ganoon.

Mukhang gumaan ang loob niya sa sinabi ko dahil unti-unti ring gumuhit sa mga labi niya ang isang malapad at masayang ngiti. He reminded me again of someone when his pink gums appeared as his lips stretched, his set of whites were short just like Kuya Yoongi's set of white teeth and pink gums, they seriously both had a gummy smile. The stretching of his lips made curve lines on the side of his lips.

He was really handsome. Kung bakit ko nagagawang pagkumparahin sila ni Kuya Yoongi, hindi ko alam. The cold man was just always in my mind that every time I would see other people's smile, his gummy smile would wave at the back of my mind as if seeking for attention.

Kahit wala siya rito ay ginugulo talaga niya ang utak ko.

“I d-don’t have much time, but I r-really want to talk to you longer…” The rapper-model lightly bowed his head, but his eyes remained shyly staring back at mine as if he was checking for my reaction. Ngumuso siya saka malungkot na nalaglag ang mga mata bago muling tumitig sa akin. “I was really excited to s-see you, F-Fraye. I even skipped a practice just for this. You h-have been ignoring me so…”

Nalaglag din ang puso ko nang lumungkot ang boses niya. He could really bring out emotions too easily. It was hard not to get affected by it because he really looked so sad. Bumalik tuloy iyong guilt na nararamdaman ko dahil sa mga pang-i-ignore ko sa kaniya. I wished I could just tell him how I wanted to be his friend too but the chaos it accompanied would be very hard for me to handle.

Hindi pa nga kaming tuluyang nagiging magkaibigan ay may mga bashers na kaagad ako sa social media, mostly they were his fans… what more if we would be really friends for real? Baka hindi na ako matahimik sa social media.

“A-About that, I’m so sorry for ig-ignoring you. I just couldn’t really a-afford your chaotic f-fans…” Sinamahan ko iyon ng malalim na buntong-hininga dahil iyon ang pinakagusto kong sabihin na hindi ko masabi sa kaniya through online messaging.

“You’re really s-sorry?” he softly asked, voice weighing and assuring. Bumalik ang liwanag sa mukha niya nang dahan-dahan akong tumango, bahagya pa siyang napapalakpak na kulang na lang ay magtatalon siya. He looked like a kid who was granted to have the access on the desserts inside the refrigerator at night. As quick as his frowned appeared earlier, his wide cute gummy smile reappeared again. “Then you’ll do me a small favour?”

Hindi ko sinabi iyon kaya kumunot ang noo ko sa kaniya. I wanted to tell him I wouldn’t but not when his happy cute smile was too hard to break. Nakakapanghinayang na mapalitan ang ngiti niyang iyon ng malungkot niyang mukha. Imagine his fans bombing my IG account again? I wanted out to be honest, but if they would let me keep Daniel Kang as my friend, why not?

Smiling a little, I slowly nodded again. “Babawi a-ako…”

“Then I want you to join my new music video! I want to cast you as my leading lady!”

Jaw dropping, lips parting, I stared dumbfounded at him jumping in excitement and triumph. Sa hitsura niya, mukhang hindi siya tatanggap ng kahit anong pagtanggi mula sa akin. Though it was so funny and overwhelming to watch him child around, feasting his triumph through jumping around and throwing punches to the air, I needed to ruin his cute celebration because there was no way I would be appearing on his music video!

Ni hindi ako marunong umarte! And would their producer even agree to that? I meant, I wasn’t an actress. Panigurado rin namang hindi papayag ang agency nila, paano ang mga fans niya? Nakikita ko na talaga ang gulong susunguin ko kung sakali mang pumayag ako. Isa pa, not that Kuya Yoongi would agree of it! Ni hindi ko gustong banggitin sa kaniyang nandito si Daniel Kang, ni hindi niya puwedeng malaman na kausap ko ito ngayon.

The last thing I wanted to happen was to anger him again. Our relationship had been developing and I didn’t want anything that could ruin it.

“Dan… Daniel Kang…” alinlangang tawag ko sa lalaking hindi pa rin tapos sa pagsasaya kaya tumigil siya at nakangiting tumitig sa akin.

He lightly shook his head. “You can call me Niel.”

I smiled back, hesitant. “I d-don’t think I can do that favour…”

Once again, his expression instantly fell. Hindi na dapat ako nagugulat dahil modelo siya at parating naglalabas ng iba’t ibang emosyon pero sobrang nakaka-apekto ang bawat emosyon niya. Siya iyong tipo ng taong ang hirap-hirap tanggihan kasi ayaw mong makitang malungkot. His happy pretty smile was a blessing, he looked too innocent and very fragile, who would want to sadden him?

Not me but I couldn’t do what he wanted me to do. Hindi biro ang gusto niyang gawin ko, puwedeng bumawi na lang ako sa kaniya sa social media, hindi ganito.

“But you s-said you’ll do me a… a f-favor…” Malungkot siyang yumuko, hindi na makatingin sa akin.

Why was he doing this to me? I meant, ngayon pa lang kami nagkita, dapat ay masasaya lang ang pinag-uusapan namin. Or at least, we should be talking about the drawing he wanted to buy.

“I can’t a-act. I’m so flattered you came here for m-me, I’m also sorry for ignoring you, I’m willing to do you a favour, a-anything but this…” Umiling ako kahit na sumisikip ang dibdib ko dahil sa lungkot na nakikita ko sa kaniya. “And I u-understand if you won’t buy my drawing anymore—“

“My manager has already bought it,” malungkot niyang pinutol ang sinasabi ko.

“Oh, I g-guess I should thank him…” Nag-iwas ako ng tingin para hindi na ako maapektuhan ng malungkot niyang mukha pero narinig ko ang pagpapakawala niya ng malalim na buntong-hininga na mas lalong nagpahirap ng nararamdaman ko. Why I was so soft for people so nice to me, and for people I had done wrong to, I didn’t know. “Would you m-mind if I spare time to think about—“

Hindi ko na natuloy ang sasabihin ko dahil mabilis na siyang nag-angat ng tingin sa akin, kusang nagpakawala ng mahinang tawa ang lalamunan ko nang makita kong muli ang masayang mukha niya, sunod-sunod siyang tumango, lumilitaw ang gummy smile niyang muling nagpapa-alala sa akin kay Kuya Yoongi.

It didn’t feel right, I didn't know if my heart was fluttering for his softness or for the reminder of the cold man.

Lakas-loob kong inilahad sa kaniya ang kamay ko habang natatawa pa rin. “So, nice to finally meet y-you, Niel…” I softly told him, letting myself loosen with him.

Slowly bringing his hand to meet mine, he smiled even wider, his eyes blinking shyly at me. “So great to finally meet you, Fraye…” He gently shook our hands.

After that, pinag-usapan na lang namin ang tungkol sa drawing kong ang manager pala niya ang bumili. I stopped myself from retrieving it back and saying I didn’t want to sell those drawings anymore but I didn’t want to further spoil their speculations about those. They once had given me confused and questioning looks as long as they found out whose face were those…

“He’s my K-Kuya Yoongi…” I answered carefully, though deep inside, I was hating myself for it.

“Oh, yes, I heard about the Min family and De Asis family’s bond…” Daniel Kang’s manager nodded curtly at me, understanding what I meant.

The transaction was easily done as long as the payment was down on the student body president.

“You’re so lucky, Frayanne! I mean, I’ve seen him on social media but I never thought that he looked that dreamy in person! Alam mo bang hindi lang ako ang pigil na pigil na magsisigaw kagabi? Members of the student body were hyped up about him the moment we went out and left you two alone!”

Natatawang pinanood ko si Cali habang hindi mapakaling ipinapaypay niya sa sarili niyang ang maliit na card na ibinigay sa akin ng manager ni Daniel Kang. He said he could just contact me through IG because he was one hundred percent sure I wouldn’t be the one calling him but he still asked his manager to give me his business card.

He was actually going to give me his number but upon getting a ridiculous look from his manager, he realized it was wrong. Naintindihan ko iyon dahil public figure siya at kailangang private ang lahat ng tungkol sa kaniya. Hindi nga naman niya puwedeng ibigay kung kani-kanino lang ang number niya.

“I never liked celebrities, but he’s the exception! Crush ko na siya, Fraye!”

Ngumuso ako kay Cali na nauwi sa pagpipigil matawa dahil ngayon ko lang siya nakitang ganito sa isang tao. I meant, she admitted to me before that Kuya Yoongi was handsome, but she never really gushed over him like what she was doing over Daniel Kang now. Nahirapan din akong patahimikin siya kagabi para hindi niya masabi kay Kuya Yoongi ang tungkol kay Daniel Kang.

It was still very vivid to me how he got jealous when he had watched the video the rapper-model posted for me.

Pagkagaling sa auditorium ay dumiretso kami kaagad ni Cali sa The Min's Café kung saan siya naghihintay, nagtanong siya ng tungkol sa special bidder ko. I answered him he didn't know who it was so he didn't push through it already. I had a peaceful night with him until home because I invited him to dinner. Tuwang-tuwa rin sina Mommy at Daddy at tinukso pa kami pareho dahil palagi na kaming magkasama. Kung alam lang nila…

He said he would try to come to school again today but I wasn’t really expecting him because he said, they were also preparing for their upcoming Christmas ball. May sayaw silang pina-practice, at kahit na curious ako tungkol doon dahil hindi ko pa siya kailanman nakitang sumayaw ay hindi na ako nagtanong. Nahirapan pa siyang umuwi kagabi dahil ayaw ko siyang pauwiin, tinulungan pa siya ni Mommy na kumbinsihin akong puwede namang mag-stay siya sa bahay sa susunod na weekend.

“Sweet pea, your Kuya Yoongi is a busy man, you can’t just hold him like that, okay?” Bago ako iwan ni Mommy sa kuwarto ko matapos niya akong dalhan ng gatas ay pina-alala niya iyan sa akin. She just didn’t know how conflicted my mind was for trying to fight back the urge of telling her the truth.

It was a constant battle between my heart and my mind, but the risk it catered was too hard for me to handle because I knew, I wouldn’t want what I had with Kuya Yoongi to end soon. Iniisip ko pa lang na hindi magugustuhan ng mga magulang namin ang tungkol sa amin ay pinapatay na ako sa sakit.

I really had to divert my mind from his imageries and all of him just so I could peacefully sleep last night.

I was about to take from Cali the business card when she frowned at me, not letting me take the card as she took her hand far from me. Mas lalo akong natawa dahil hindi ako mapakapaniwalang seryoso siyang crush niya nga si Daniel Kang. I meant, it wasn’t a surprise anymore, but it just fascinated me to find out that she was really liking someone.

“Give back…” I chuckled even more when she hardly shook her head.

“I’m going to call him!”

“Cali, that’s not his number. You’ll probably get connected to his manager, give that back and I suggest, you follow him on Instagram.”

Nakasimangot man, matagal muna niyang tinitgan ang business card, I couldn’t tell if she was memorising the details in it, or she was really just trying to be funny, sa huli ay inabot din naman niya iyon pabalik sa akin. Inginuso ko sa kaniya ang bagels na nasa plato niya dahil hindi niya pa iyon nagagalaw.

“Don’t waste free foods, they’re even tastier than those priced goods…” sabi ko saka ko dinampot ang silverware ko at pinagkaabalahan na rin ang sarili kong pagkain.

Fourth day of the event, since we didn’t try those heavy activities anymore, we just visited some of the public tents scattered around the field. Napadpad kami kanina sa isang book fair at halos isang oras din ang itinagal namin doon. We didn’t buy books because we both weren’t bookworms, we liked watching motion pictures more than reading books, but our visit still counted as a donation because there was an entrance fee.

Ngayon naman ay may free bagels kami mula sa isang café dahil bumili kami ng handmade friendship bracelet, mayroong free bagels kapag umabot sa certain amount ang binili. Simple lang ang hitsura ng mga bracelets pero magandang tingnan sa pulupulsuhan, nakaka-amaze ding malaman na handmade. Marami na kaming napuntahan so far, mostly, we were just buying stuff. May mga keychains kaming binili, tote bags na handmade din at may inspirational quote print, at marami pang iba.

Mayroon pa ngang nagpapa-color hairspray pero magagalit si Mommy kapag umuwi akong may kulay ang buhok kaya kahit na gusto ni Cali noon ay hindi ako pumayag, hindi rin panigurado magugustuhan ni Kuya Yoongi. I said she could try and I would just wait for her but she said, she wanted us to do it together. May mga photo booths din na hindi namin pinalagpas, sobrang saya niyang kasama, nagawa nga rin niyang papasukin si Totoro sa photo booth kasama naming dalawa.

Tawa kami nang tawa kahit na halos walang reaksiyon si Totoro sa mga pictures na kinunan namin samantalang kung anu-anong pose ang pinaggagawa namin pareho.

It would really take just one soft and gentle ‘please’ from her and Totoro would cave in. Sino ba namang hindi? Kahit ako ay walang laban doon.

“Will you be staying until evening today?” tanong niya, abala na rin sa pagkain niya.

Kahapon kasi ay maaga kaming umuwi pareho. Pagkatapos kong kausapin si Daniel Kang ay nagyaya na si Kuya Yoongi na umuwi, wala namang kaso sa akin iyon dahil wala na rin namang activity ng mga oras na iyon maliban sa ingay ng battle of the bands na nagsisimula pa lang. Cali also seconded, saying her driver was also already waiting at the parking lot so she would already be going home too.

“Not sure, we didn’t watch the battle of the bands last night. I’m curious about how they work, and your brother’s band will be there, you wanna watch?”

Natigilan siya saka unti-unting nag-angat ng tingin sa akin, dahan-dahan din niyang ibinaba ang hawak niyang silverware bago siya bumuntong-hininga. She didn’t look pleased anymore. Para bang nawalan siya bigla ng gana. Her big round eyes stared deeply at me that it almost made me uncomfortably shift in my seat.

I pouted at her. “What’s w-wrong?” tanong ko.

“Let’s not watch, okay?” She softly said but the way her eyes rolled to her food from me told me that there was something wrong about it. Naisip kong baka gumagana na naman iyong pagiging possessive niya sa Kuya niya dahil paniguradong maraming manonood sa mga ito.

“You don’t wanna watch your brother?” takang-tanong ko, sinusubukang hagilapin sa mukha niya ang sagot pero muli siyang bumuntong-hininga saka dahan-dahang umiling.

“Okay, fine. We’ll watch." Pagsuko niya.

Hindi ko na pinansin pa ang bigat sa boses niya, sa halip ay ngumiti na lang ako para kahit papaano ay mawala ang hindi magandang mood niya. Cali was one of the people who could easily affect me, not how the way Kuya Yoongi was affecting me, but how the way Daniel Kang just made me feel yesterday. Ayaw kong may mga taong nalulungkot kaharap ko, they were contagious. Lalo na kapag ako ang dahilan, nakaka-guilty.

Nang matapos kami ni Cali roon ay nagpatuloy lang kami sa paglilibot. We both already had our lunch at The Min’s restaurant since the sun was near to setting down already. I would admit I was waiting for Kuya Yoongi to come, but I educated my mind that it needed to understand that the cold man had his own life, he had other responsibilities other than me, and that his life wasn’t revolving around just one thing, or one person.

Our relationship was just one of the dimensions he had in his world, and there were other dimensions in his life that I couldn’t touch. Medyo unfair, kasi sa buhay ko, pakiramdam ko lahat kontrolado niya.

Hindi ko inaasahang pupunta rito si Kuya Yoongi pero lalo naman ang isa sa mga pinsan ko. Hindi ko na masyadong pinansin si Cali na abala sa pamimili ng kung ano sa tent na pinasukan namin dahil abala na ang mga mata ko sa paninitig sa dalawang pigurang papasok pa lang ng tent.

I was used to my cousins being with girls, though I didn’t see them personally, their photos were all around my feeds so seeing Kuya Fern happily chatting with a very pretty girl while they seemed to throw all the care away from the world, oblivious of the people also gawking at them, I would admit, my cousin had a taste when it came to women.

I wouldn’t also forget that nowadays, my Kuya Key was somehow sticking to only one girl ever since he dated that Ara girl. Hindi ko pa ito nakikilala pero narinig ko kay Mommy at Daddy na tuwang-tuwa raw si Tito Luigi dahil sa wakas may ipinakilala na raw si Kuya Key na girlfriend sa kanila ni Tita Maleyn. It was Ara from what I also heard. Nakakapanibago iyon dahil mukhang tumitino na sila pero naisip ko, si Kuya Key iyon, magkaiba sila ni Kuya Fern.

I still couldn’t see my Kuya Fern sticking to one girl.

Mabilis akong tumalikod bago pa man ako mapansin ni Kuya Fern gayong tila napakalabo noon dahil tutok na tutok siya sa magandang babaeng kasama niya. Dumaan sila sa likod namin ni Cali at nagkunyari akong nagtitingin sa mga produktong tinitingnan din ni Cali.

“I hope you’re diverted…” Narinig ko ang natural na malalim na boses ni Kuya Fern ngunit malambot iyon na tila ba kino-comfort ang kausap.

“Thoughts of him are inked on my mind, Fern. It'll take more festive fairs to distract me from thinking about him…”

“Still, you need to ease up and don’t let him mess your mind. We’re here to enjoy, Soft!”

“Hands off, lothario! I know your history!”

"Lothario?! Hey, I’ve changed!”

Hindi naman sila pareho nagsisigawan pero bahagya kong narinig ang pag-uusap nila. Naguluhan pa ako dahil hindi ganoon ang mga inaasahan kong usapang mayroon si Kuya Fern sa mga babae niya.

I slightly raised my head to peek at them, seeing Kuya Fern having his arm tightly hook around the girl’s shoulders who struggled to desperately break free from his grasp. They only stopped in front of a set of similar yet differently designed products, but bodies were still so close to each other.

Hindi ko naman ugaling manghimasok sa buhay ng mga pinsan ko, hindi ko rin gustong magpakita sa kaniya kaya nang matapos kami ni Cali roon ay lumabas na kaming dalawa. The sky was already shaded with pink and purple when we went out, sun was completely down, and lamp posts were already lighted up to bring light all around the school ground in the middle of the night. Ang ilang tents ay nag-uumpisa nang mag-wrap up, samantalang ang iba ay sarado na.

"Let's go? I think it's starting…" yaya ko kay Cali nang makita ko ang karamihan sa mga tao ay nagpupunta sa field kung nasaan ang makeshift stage para sa battle of the bands.

I hadn't seen the setup yet since we didn't watch last night but I was excited to watch all the bands performing for tonight. Though I had already watched Boyz with Fun perform every now and then at The Min's resto-bar, it still excited me to watch them now.

Cali said, they wouldn't be competing, they would be just performing three fair songs.

"Fraye, I seriously d-don't think it's a good idea to wat—" Hindi na niya natapos ang sinasabi niya nang mabilis na kumunot ang noo niya.

Nang sinundan ko ang mga mata niya ay nakita namin ang grupo ng mga babaeng nagtatawanan habang naglalakad patungo sa school ground kung nasaan nagaganap ang battle of the bands, may hawak silang banner, mga nagtataasang placards kung nasaan naman ang mga pangalan.

"Forget it, let's go! Those bitches gotta know where to rightfully freaking place their fan girl selves!"

Natawa ako nang hindi na niya hinintay pang makasagot ako dahil mabilis na siyang naglakad. I saw one of the placards having Cody de Villa's name so I understood why Cali acted that way. She was really just being possessive again. Tahimik ko na lang siyang sinundan at nang makarating kami ay may banda nang tumutugtog sa stage, ang lahat ay nakatayo habang nakikisabay sa masiglang tugtugin maging sa boses ng kasalukuyang bokalistang kumakanta.

I also didn't mind when Cali brought me near the direction of the fan girls of his brother's band. Let's all just understand that she was just being possessive, it was funny thinking how Cali would seriously tantrum if her brother would seriously have someone he liked. Nakakalapit man lang ba ito sa mga babae kung sobrang higpit ng kapatid nito?

"I told him I don't want to see him here!" inis niyang sabi mayamaya, wala sa stage ang mga mata kung hindi nasa mga babae pa rin.

"Calm down, Cali…"

"You don't understand, Fraye. He's stubborn, as hell, we always fight but I never wanted for him to be in such situation that'll hurt him…" Her voice quivered as she was quick to bow her head.

Mabilis akong humarap sa kaniya, ang mga kamay ko ay kaagad na lumipad sa mga balikat niya para pagaanin ang loob niya. Though truth be told, I didn’t understand. I had always known how possessive she was to her brother, that she would prefer not being picked up by him just to deprive the girls a sight of him, but I couldn’t see beyond her reason now.

People were enjoying, performers on the stage were hyping up, but she wasn’t clearly having any of those. Inaasahan ko pa namang magugustuhan niya ang mga ganitong event kasi likas siyang masayahin.

“Can we just go?” It wasn’t a question, but more likely a plea.

Hardly biting my lower lip, I stared back at her troubled eyes with my conflicted and confused ones. Tumagal na ganoon hanggang sa bumuntong-hininga siya saka mabagal na umiling. I was about to nod my head at her and give into her plea when loud screams from the people both startled us.

We must have been staring at each other longer than we were aware of because the band that was performing earlier was already down the stage and was traded with the band that was now the source of scream and chaos of the crowd.

“Stupid, stupid Colorado!”

Cali muttered something that was too low and too muffled for me to hear because the crowd wasn’t still coming down from their hyping up. Hindi pa nakatulong nang nakangiting kumaway ang lalaking nasa likod ng drums habang abala ang dalawang gitarista sa pag-aayos ng mga sarili nila. Everyone seemed to shout each of their names, but one name was overpowering.

“Cody!” Halata namang siya ang may pinakamaraming tagahanga dahil siguro siya ang bokalitsa. They were all fairly handsome, they had their own charisma but Cody de Villa’s imposed a stronger effect to people.

From staring at Cali who instantly huffed beside me, her arms cross in front of her chest and angry eyes directed to the stage, I slowly brought my eyes back to look at the Boyz with Fun.

When I said Cody de Villa was a fan of black clothes, I meant it because as his band members were clad with either neon or pastel colored clothes, the vocalist was again clad in a pair of black shirt under a black oversized flannel that was all-button opened and a black ripped jeans. He was also wearing a black snapback, his smooth forehead was also having a show as pair of diamonds were sparkling on his earlobes, matching the sparkles of his silver necklace.

The crowd roared even louder when he gave his guitar a one harsh strum with a head bang, as if just trying the composition of his instrument, a loud string of long tune almost deafened my ears. Nagtuloy-tuloy iyon hanggang sa nakisabay na rin ang tugtog ng drums at ng isang pang gitarista.

I hadn’t seen bands perform, but I would say it was cool when no introduction from the band was made, instead, they instantly blessed the crowd with one rock song.

Mabilis na nadala ang katawan ko sa mga nagtatalunang mga tao. Ginaya ko rin ang mga nakataas nilang kamay kahit na hindi ko alam ang lyrics ng kanta. Everyone was singing along the beautiful and cool serenading voice of Cody de Villa, though screams of his name were still competing. I was too engrossed that I didn’t pay much attention anymore to my sulking friend.

She should actually be proud of her brother, he was too cool and very talented, and his voice could already bless every one of us here.

Mabilis na natapos ang unang kanta nila na mabilis din nilang sinundan ng isa pa. This time, the tune of the rock music slowly went down, representing a slightly mellow type of pop song. Alam ng lahat ang kanta dahil may nakita akong mga couples na mabilis na kumapit sa isa’t isa na tila sasayaw ng ballad. Even girls were giggling as they took each of them as their partner.

♪ Isasayaw ka sa ulap, damhin ang hangin
Ang ihip na nagsisilbing himig natin
Kasabay ng tibok ng mga puso nating
Nagniningning ang mga bituin
Nagniningning ang mga bituin ♪

I tried tapping Cali’s shoulder to get her to join me and dance with me along the crowd. Nang nilingon niya ako ay walang ekspresiyon ang mga mata niya at pinid ang mga labi. I pouted hardly at her as I lent her my palm, my eyes were silently asking her to dance with me.

“Fraye, he can’t seriously see you h-here…” she lowly said, still looking so troubled.

“Who? Who can’t see her?”

Head quickly snapping towards that raspy and deep voice, I stopped myself from jumping when my eyes caught the very gorgeous and eye-sparkling form of Kuya Yoongi in his pair of black and yellow stripes turtle neck sweater and black tight jeans, a yellow bonnet was on his head as he shot me a lazy look. He was too close behind me so it wasn’t a surprise to hear his low deep voice in the middle of the crowd with the mellow song blaring in the air.

Kung paanong nagagawa niyang maglakad sa public ng ganyan kaguwapo at hindi naaabala ng mga matang nakatitig sa kanya, hindi ko alam. Iisipin ko pa ba iyon kung masyado nang nagsasaya ang puso ko dahil sa nakakagulat niyang presensiya ngayon? Even Cali beside me was nearly forgotten!

I would admit I expected him, and waited for him but it didn’t really cross my mind that he would really come!

“Tsk, fvck life, this is just so frustrating…” Cali shot out in an irritated voice as she rolled her eyes at the cold man behind me.

♪ Oh kay sayang makita
ang liwanag ng buwan sa iyong mga mata
Alam ko na iyong nadarama
ang init na dulot ng ating pagmamahal ♪

Nakangusong nilingon ko si Kuya Yoongi dahil hindi ko alam kung para sa kaniya ba ang inis ni Cali dahil kanina pa talaga siya naiinis o dumagdag lang si Kuya Yoongi. I had a hard time sucking in for an air deep within my lungs when I faintly felt one of his strong and hard arm slowly yet gently circling my waist, my body was very willing to be pulled closer to his as my mind had seriously lost all the sanity because I willingly let him bring me into his arms in the middle of the crowd, with a lot of eyes to see.

It even made it more hard for me to breathe when his strawberry scent with a faint scent of menthol cigarette came filling my nose, bringing me into slowly caving myself into him. He smoked again, I never liked the idea of it but with him, it just seemed more manly and more mature for me.

“You’re partying without me? Who taught you this?” bulong niya sa tainga ko na marahan kong sinagot ng iling dahil hindi naman party ang tingin ko rito. This was still a part of the event and I just wanted to participate aside from I wanted to watch how bands perform. “Since I’m here already, put your hands around my shoulder and we’ll dance, baby…”

♪ Ohhhh tatakbo, lalayo
Ohhhh kasama mong, tutungo ♪

Kung hindi lang ako natatakot sa intimacy’ng ipapakita namin sa lahat kapag isinusbsob ko sa leeg niya ang mukha ko ay ginawa ko na. Malakas pa rin naman ang pagpipigil ko sa sarili ko dahil nakontento ako sa pag-ikot ng mga braso ko balikat niya saka ako bahagyang umatras para bigyan ng desenteng espasyo ang mga katawan namin.

To people, we just looked like the norms, but deep inside me, I was already too eager to be wrapped around his arms as he whispered me sweet nothings.

Nandito siya, pumunta siya, at sinasayaw ako ngayon. Iyon ang mahalaga. This felt like a trade for the supposedly Christmas ball but a lot more beautiful because he was the one who was dancing with me. Sa Christmas ball, may dance pero hindi ganito. I couldn’t probably bring him as my date because it would look suspicious so this felt a hundred more nice…

♪ Isasayaw ka sa ulap, damhin ang hangin
Ang ihip na nagsisilbing himig natin
Kasabay ng tibok ng mga puso nating
Nagniningning ang mga bituin
Nagniningning ang mga bituin ♪

It was funny how the song seriously matched the current emotions my heart was trying to scream. As we slowly swayed along the mellow music, as I felt every eyes on us, my whole universe was focused on the man in front of me as his pair of kitten eyes stared, though lazily, back at me, the softness it catered that only my eyes could see was fluttering my heart.

I had been so afraid of the eyes, I never wanted stares but now that I was staring back him, now that his kitten eyes stared deeply at me, I realized, it wasn’t that I hated eyes or stares, I just couldn’t find in those eyes the ethereal beauty I found in his very eyes. Na ayaw ko ng iba kasi gusto ko iyong mga mata niya. I wanted only his eyes to look at me…

“You’re not asking me to kiss you here right now with the way you’re staring at me, are you?” he asked smugly, eyes never leaving mine but his head tilted as if motioning the people around us. He was also careful as he let those words slip out of his mouth so low, almost in a whisper.

Pouting, I slowly shook my head. “Am w-wondering why are you here and how did you find m-me…” I almost choked in my saliva at the last word when I felt his fingers giving light pinches on my waist through the fabric of my shirt. Nakikiliti ako pero nagugustuhan ko iyon.

“Pagoda Blue,” simpleng sagot niya.

“But we’re in the middle of the crowd…” Paano niya ako nakita gayong sobrang dami ng tao ngayon?

“I wouldn’t have those men as my eyes to watch you if they could lose you from their watch. Mahahanap kita kahit nasa gitna ka pa ng milyong-milyong mga tao, baby…”

I couldn’t help but let my lower lip go from the grip of my teeth just to let my lips stretch into a wide smile. Kung hindi pa siya titigil diyan ay talagang kakalimutan kong nasa gitna kami ng daan-daang mga tao at yayakapin ko talaga siya mahigpit. I wouldn’t let him go until I get satisfied, and not even until he stopped calling me baby and started calling me a clingy girl again, he’ll see.

Pasalamat din talaga siya dahil kasama namin si Cali ngayon at—SI CALI!

I quickly took my arms from his shoulder, lightly stepping back from him as our simple little ballad dance was pulled in a halt, though his fingers didn’t let my waist go. Mabilis kong sinuklyapan ang kinaroroonan ni Cali pero wala na siya roon. Guilt was quick to fill my system as I thought I must have annoyed her, I forgot about her because of Kuya Yoongi!

May panibago na ring kanta ang tumutugtog at mas mellow iyon kaysa sa nauna. Cody de Villa’s voice was perfectly singing the famous song of one of the underrated singers nowadays, lyrics of Buwan were too hitting and very pulling to the point that everyone stopped dancing and just silently listened as if their souls was lulled by the song, or the voice blaring in the air.

“Kuya, Cali must have felt out of place again!”

We left the crowd to look for my friend. I just hoped she wasn’t mad at me. Nang makalabas kami sa crowd ay nakita namin ang Pagoda Blue na alertong-alerto sa isang tabi. Nakahinga ako ng maluwag nang makita ko sa tabi nila si Cali, nakahalukipkip at kaagad na umirap nang magtama ang mga mata namin. I knew she was pissed off but it still made me smile because I knew, she wouldn’t leave me though I left her forgotten earlier.

“I hate you, dumating lang iyang boyfriend mo, kinalimutan mo ako!” She angrily huffed.

Nahihiyang lumipad ang tingin ko sa Pagoda Blue bago ko nilingon si Kuya Yoongi para silipin ang reaksiyon niya. He was just staring lazily at me, not fazed about the fact that Cali was huffing because of him. Nang bumaling ako muli kay Cali ay ngumuso ako.

“I’m s-so sorry, Cali…”

“Hmp, you’re clearly so in love with him, what should I do?” And she stepped back a little, rolling her eyes at me as she hid herself behind the huge form of Totoro. It was like a clear declaration that she was pissed but she was stepping back so I would have my own time with Kuya Yoongi.

The event continued, the Boyz with Fun ending their performance with their third song. May mga ibang banda pa ang sumunod pero mapapansin ang pagiging matamlay ng crowd kahit na magagaling din naman ang mga sumunod, mukhang banda talaga nila Cody de villa ang pinaka-inabangan ngayong gabi. They already sang three songs so I assumed, they wouldn’t be attending the battle of the bands tomorrow night, which was the final night.

“We’ll send you to your driver, Cali…” alok ko sa kaibigan ko na talagang hindi na dumikit sa akin hanggang sa mapagdesisyunan naming umuwi na. I wouldn’t say that it favoured my heart because being close to Kuya Yoongi all throughout the night was what made it fluttering nonstop, tirelessly, to the point that I really hadn’t paid attention to anything, though I would admit it really did favour my heart.

“No need, Fraye. I’ll be riding with my brother.” Umiling siya saka kumaway sa akin. I couldn’t tell if she was still pissed off but I still tried my luck.

“Kuya, we’ll send her to their car, would you mind?” Bumaling ako kay Kuya Yoongi saka malamlam na tumitig sa kaniya. I smiled widely when he slowly shook his head, my heart stopping, shortly, when his hand smoothly went to my nape to gently bring my face closer to him. Isang mabilis ngunit malambot na halik sa noo ang natanggap ko mula sa kaniya saka niya ako hinayaang tumabi kay Cali.

“Lead the way, baby…” he softly said.

“Can you at least give me a break? I’ve been cringing the whole time you’re being oblivious of the world as if you have the whole universe all for you lovesick selves!” Cali spat annoyed when I reached her side. Natatawang iniyakap ko na lang ang kamay ko sa braso niya saka siya hinila na sa direksiyon ng parking lot.

She had been holding her phone so I assumed, she already texted her brother. Guilty pa rin ako dahil iniwan ko siya kanina gayong alam kong hindi maganda ang loob niya dahil sa mga babaeng humahanga sa Kuya niya. Dumating lang kasi si Kuya Yoongi, nakalimutan ko na lahat.

Just how more of a hopeless I could be just because of him?

“It’s scary to fall in love, seeing you, it’s scary how love can make people crazy.” She lightly tapped my shoulder that made me pout at her.

“It’s still too early to call this love, Cali. I’m young…” sagot ko kaya umani ako ng hindi magandang titig mula sa kaniya. Her brows jumped high, lips parting in disbelief as if she couldn’t believe the words I had said.

“You stupid girl, love doesn’t come to old people only, Fraye. Why do you stay in a relationship then if it’s not love?”

Natahimik ako sa sinabi niyang iyon dahil wala akong makuhang sagot mula sa isipan ko bukod sa sumang-ayon lang. I still couldn’t agree with it because I believed, I was still too young to feel such strong emotions. Love is for old people only, my young heart wasn’t still ready for the heaviness of it, not even for the any other emotions it accompanied. Hindi na ako umimik hanggang sa makarating kami sa parking lot at makita namin si Cody de villa sa harap ng sasakyan niya habang ipinapasok niya sa loob ng back seat ang gitara niya.

He wasn’t with his band members anymore. Baka umuwi na rin ang mga iyon. It was also a shock that no girls were crowding around the parking lot like how it always happened.

When Cody de Villa noticed us, his eyes first caught mine before it quickly flickered behind us. Marahan siyang tumango na para bang ina-acknowledge ang mga taong nasa likod. I let Cali when she took my hands away from her arm and slowly walked towards her brother.

“I told you not to come!” galit niyang sabi, ang mga nakasarang kamao ay nasa magkabilang gilid niya. She looked like ready to lodge to her brother any second now.

Cody de Villa gave her a defeated sigh. “Just get in, Cali. I’m tired, I don’t have enough energy to fight with you or argue against your trivial outburst.” Binuksan niya ang pinto para kay Cali.

“Talaga? Then fvcking sore your eyes with the sight of them—“

“California.” That was how he always warned his sister, always making Cali shut her mouth. Nagdadabog na pumasok si Cali sa loob ng sasakyan pero nahuli ko pa kung paanong marahas niyang pinunasan ang mga mata niya gamit ang mga braso niya.

That caught me off-guard. She never cried when she was having an argument with her brother, not even when he was pissing her off, so it surprised me how she just easily broke down now.

“C-Cody, I think she’s cry—“

“Julie.”

Hindi ko na natuloy pa ang akmang paglapit sa sasakyan ni Cody de Villa nang marinig ko ang boses ni Kuya Yoongi. Ilang sandali lang ay naramdaman ko na ang paglandas ng braso niya sa baywang ko at ang paghila niya sa akin palapit sa katawan niya. He stood beside me, his eyes were directed to the guy who stood emotionless in front of us, though Cody's eyes were on my waist where Kuya Yoongi’s fingers started pinching again.

My mind was already in a panic, afraid of how Cody de Villa would take the image of us so close and intimate to each other but it only went in a confusing turmoil when Kuya Yoongi let loose of the words I wouldn’t have ever thought possible.

“You like her.” As blunt as it sounded, the firmness matched his deep raspy voice. It wasn’t even a question that needed to be answered, not a statement that was only declared, it was a strong declaration that needed an immediate confirmation.

When my wide surprised eyes rolled back to Cody de Villa, it met his dark and troubled ones.