Chapter Twenty-six
Daddy was right when he said, Kuya Yoongi was a busy man, and Kuya Yoongi was right when he said, I was a clingy girl.
Tulad nga ng sabi ko, bago ako sa lahat ng ito kaya natural lang sa akin na sundin ko ang kung anong nararamdaman ko, susundin ko kung ano ang gusto ko. My mind was a slave for my heart just as I was too. I was naive so I would really tend to follow my gut and emotions.
Ilang beses nakatanggap ng tawag si Kuya Yoongi mula sa Papa niya. Ilang beses na rin niyang sinabi sa aking kailangan siya sa kumpanya nila, it was already around lunch and we were about to eat lunch when he told me he needed to go for their company.
Did I let him go? My heart screamed I couldn’t, so I didn’t. Hindi ko naman sinabi sa kaniyang ayaw ko siyang umalis pero malamang ay nakita niya sa mukha ko na ayaw ko. That stopped him, but not the calls he was receiving. Sa dining table ay kinailangan niyang i-turn off ang phone niya matapos ko siyang bigyan ng malungkot na tingin.
I knew I was being selfish, I knew I was trying to take him away from his responsibilities but I couldn’t really tell him to stop ignoring his Papa’s calls but I also couldn’t tell him to stay and not leave me.
Basta ang alam ko, ayaw ko siyang umalis.
“Not me, Julie. You… you’re the boss here.”
Naalala ko iyong sinabi niya kanina sa living room. He was literally living with what he said, all too submissive just because I didn’t want him to leave. I thought he was the one who was dominating me, my heart was feasting at the thought that I had a say to whatever he had to do, he had me within the grasp of his fingers while I also had him within the grip of mine.
Just how overwhelming it was to have someone like Min Yoongi under my grip? I wouldn’t want any other man.
Once again, after lunch, instead of staying in the living room, we both went upstairs to my leisure room so I could draw. It was his idea. Kahit paano naman ay na-divert sa pag-do-drawing iyong atensiyon ko kaya saglit kong nakalimutan iyong guilt na nararamdaman ko kanina. He was miraculously patient again as he let me draw and draw, sometimes he was clearing his throat to get my attention and I would pout at him to let him know that I wasn’t forgetting about him.
Alam kong naiinip na rin siya dahil naka-upo lang siya roon sa couch at pinapanood ako, kung minsan ay nakikita ko siyang abala sa phone niya. Mas magiging madali nga naman kung aalis na siya at itutuon ang atensiyon sa mga mas mahahalagang bagay sa kumpanya nila. Mas mabuti iyon pero hindi iyon maintindihan ng puso ko.
I just didn’t want him to go.
“Julie…”
Sighing deeply, I hardly bit my lower lip as my fingers groped tightly at the pencil I was holding. My eyes landing on the monochromatic messes on my sketch pad as I refused to raise a gaze at him. I didn’t want to see the distress from his face just because I was making it so difficult for him. I just wanted him to stay, I wanted him beside me, he didn’t need to speak anymore, just being with me was more than enough.
Why did it have to be so difficult? Maybe I should really call Kuya Yexel to tell him he really needed to be here as soon as possible before I lost control over my emotions and just tell their parents to retrieve back the responsibilities they handed Kuya Yoongi.
I didn’t want his attention to anything but mine. Kung puwede ko lang gawin iyon…
“I’ll see you again before this day ends, what about that, hm?” His voice from the other end of the room was soft and bargaining. I didn’t have any idea about what he did in their company, but I knew it must be important for Tito Thomas to be bothering him nonstop.
Mas napayuko ako nang maramdaman ko ang panunubig ng mga mata ko. I knew it was unreasonable and very immature but what could I do? My eyes were only acting out for what my heart was feeling! I wasn’t happy that he needed to go but I had already held him long enough, and he already had stayed longer than he should!
Kailangan ko rin namang tanggapin na may buhay si Kuya Yoongi at may mga responsibilad na kailangang pagtuunan ng pansin.
My heart felt like being squeezed when I heard calm footsteps from his location towards where I sat. Ilang segundo lang ay naramdaman ko na ang presensiya niya sa tabi ko. I didn’t know if I was just being emotional because I knew he was there to pamper my emotions or he just triggered it but when tears were freed from my eyes, my sobs were also quick to accompany them.
Nakaka-inis. Umiiyak ako dahil aalis siya gayong noon ay halos umiyak ako sa mga magulang ko para lang paalisan na siya. The irony, really.
“Hey, hey, look here…” He panicked instantly. He held the sides of the high stool I was sitting on before he gently turned me around so I was facing him. The cold yet soft pads of his fingers smoothly touched my chin to lift my face, and in my tear-filled vision, I saw the distress and sorrow on his face.
Funny, my heart was also going through the same distress and sorrow because he would be leaving.
Matagal niya akong tinitigan habang tahimik akong umiiyak, mumuting sinok ang lumalabas sa bibig ko na sinasabayan ng walang tigil kong mga luha. He might have found it funny and amusing because a warm smile slowly appeared from his thin red lips. Bahagya noong ipinakita ang mga ngipin niya.
He found my misery amusing! I couldn’t believe him!
“I seriously don’t know what to do.” He admitted honestly, though confusion was evident from his pair of kitten eyes, amusement was still lingering in his lips. Inangat ko ang kamay ko para marahang tabigin ang kamay niyang nakahawak sa baba ko saka muling yumuko, ang mga kamay ko na ang pumalit sa pagpupunas ng mga luhang nasa pisngi ko.
I wanted to tell him that he should just stay, that it would make me happy if he did but I knew being selfish wouldn’t do us any good. Hindi pa kami pero sinasakal ko siya, baka bigla na lang niyang ma-realize na hindi maganda ang ganoon. The last thing I wanted to happen was to lose this new-found feelings I had for him.
“Should I go? Or stay? Tell me, Julie…”
That was like the biggest temptation ever given to me to take. I meant, I could just ignore being a good and mature girl and tell him to stay, I could just toss away the fact that he had responsibilities and let him take his responsibilities of me. I could just be selfish and pamper my heart…
It was painful because that wasn't what I really wanted.
He crouched down to me, levelling his face to mine. Shortly sparing him a look, I caught his soft weighing eyes trying to lock mine in a long gaze. Marahan akong umiling, mariing nakapinid ang mga labi para pigilan ang paghikbi at tuluyan nang iniinda ang papansin kong puso. It couldn’t be the lead now that it seemed to make wrong decisions for me. I needed to think like how big girls do, so I would fit for him.
I needed to be a big girl for him.
“Y-You… you should go, I think—“ Hindi ko na natapos ang sinasabi ko nang maramdaman ko ang mga palad niyang marahang sumalo sa mukha ko bago niya mabilis na pinutol ang distansya ng mga mukha namin. Gasping in surprise and unpreparedness, my lips were apart and unaware when it met his soft ones, his lips expertly trapping my lower lip in a tight sudden kiss.
Too much to say, it might be exaggerating to describe, but I seriously felt my heart skip a beat as it felt like my world stopped spinning just like how our twisted lips together were frozen in each other’s softness and comfort. It was steady, but very heart-hammering. Hindi ko kailanman inaasahang ang simpleng pagdadampi ng mga labi namin ay kayang bumuhay ng sari-saring emosyon sa kaibuturan ko.
It was too much to say, to be honest. It was more sensual and too good than I had ever imagined. His lips were much softer that it looked, and the feeling was something I had never felt before. It was even too mind-blowing thinking how our lips seemed to fit each other, his lips trapping my lower lip as my lips trapping his upper one.
Mabilis akong kumapit sa damit niya nang akmang lalayo na siya. Growls of protest escaped from my throat as I gladly parted my lips even more to kiss him like how my heart wanted it. I let my lips sensually trap his upper lip and imitate how he trapped mine a while ago. Closing my eyes tight, I felt him stiffen for a short amount of time before taking over the superiority I was holding.
Who didn’t know how to kiss? I sure didn’t know, but my lips weren’t mine to control for now, they had their own life and it was me who they were controlling. Again, they were being driven by my heart like how it always did to other parts of me.
We… we were all driven by my heart.
His lips tasted like the mixture of coffee and that familiar cool mint I always smelled from his breath when he was giving me eskimo kisses. No hint of cigarettes but with a whiff of his strawberry scent.
Halos mapasigaw ako nang maramdaman ko ang mabilis na pagpulupot ng mga braso niya sa baywang ko saka niya ako buong lakas na inangat, ang mga binti ko ay agad na pumalibot sa baywang niya saka siya umikot para umupo sa stool. He then gently placed me on top of his lap, his primal kisses making my lips swollen for his every gentle bites and smooth nips.
My eyes only opened once because it felt even more sensual to have my eyes closed as he made me feel different waves of emotions through his soft lips, from the way it moved like trying to teach my lips a rhythm too perfect that only our hearts knew, from the way it nipped like trying to tease my lips to imitate its every move and from the way his teeth bit my lips as if kissing me just wasn’t enough for him.
“God, Julie. S-See what you do to me?” He managed to speak in between our lips when it was too hard for me to even form a sound. His hands daringly held the lower part of my back, just above my bottom, before he pushed me closer to his body, my spine tingling at the feeling of a foreign bump against the sensitive heat between my legs.
It was hard and teasingly tempting… and I wasn’t stupid and so innocent not to know what that was.
It was like someone poured a whole pail of cold water to me, it suddenly died down the fire igniting between us, within me. My lips froze against his as my eyes shot up opened, meeting his lazy and sleepy ones, reality and embarrassment quickly filling my whole system. Mas lumala pa ang kahihiyang nararamdaman ko nang mapagtanto ko ang posisyon namin.
I was sitting on his clearly hardened erection!
My hands that clutched tightly at his shirt instantly pushed myself away from him, our lips painfully parting with a nipping sound only us could hear as my eyes lingered surprised on his kitten eyes behind his specs.
“K-Kuya…” Mabilis akong umalis sa kandungan niya habang hindi makapaniwalang nakatitig lang siya sa akin, bahagya pa akong natumba dahil sa panghihina ng mga tuhod ko. His lips were parted and his eyes were blinking in laziness and—I didn’t know how to name it.
“C’mon, Julie, don’t do this to me…” He tried to reach for my hands again but I instantly backed away from him, my mind was turning in a mess for what we just did. Bukod sa pinupuno ako ng kahihiyan ay hindi ako makapaniwalang hinalikan niya ako.
It was so different, it was so foreign for me but it scared me what kind of things it could have made me do if I didn’t stop, if we didn't stop.
Somehow, I thanked my embarrassment for holding me stronger than I could have ever done.
My eyes shamelessly landed on the mess that he was, on the mess he had in between his legs and I swore, I was ready to run for my life seeing the obvious lump there only if he hadn’t managed to reach me again. Mabilis niya akong nahilang muli at na-ipuwesto sa ibabaw ng mga hita niya. I also swore I was ready to give into him again only if my mind wasn’t fast to educate me that it wasn’t right!
Finally! It did something right against the will of my heart!
“No, Kuya! What happened to waiting till I turn eighteen?!” I shrieked in panic when his hand held my nape to push my head down to his face again.
Natigilan siya saka sinalubong ang mga mata ko. I would admit, his parted lips in nearest proximity, to the point that we were already sharing the same air to breathe, were tempting me to have a taste again.
I wanted again to have a taste of his coffee-mint tasted lips. Hindi pa nakatulong na amoy na amoy ko ang pamilyar niyang bango.
Kumunot ang noo niya bago dahan-dahang bumaba ang kamay niyang nasa batok ko sa likod ko. He gave me smooth and gentle caresses as if calming me, when it looked like it was him who needed to be calmed.
“You s-seriously asking me that?” nahihirapang turan niya, hindi maganda ang tono ng boses at unti-unti nang dumidilim ang mga mata. “After giving me earlier a look as if you were asking me to kiss you? God, Julie, you should be thankful I still can hold back…”
Pakiramdam ko nalaglag din ang puso ko nang kasabay nang pagkakalaglag ng mga kamay niya mula sa katawan ko ay ang pagkakalaglag din ng mga mata niya. He whispered something, and it didn’t take me long to notice that he was counting, he was whispering numbers one to ten. Mayamaya lang ay tinapik niya ang baywang ko.
“Now, be responsible enough and stop making it hard for me. A little distance would help…”
With heating cheeks, I again found myself jumping away from him. Inayos ko ang dulo ng suot kong dress para lang maiwasan ang tumitig sa kaniya habang inaayos naman niya ang sarili niya. Nakakahiya na ako pa iyong dahilan kung bakit muntik na kami parehong umabot doon. Kahit nang tumayo siya at tahimik na maglakad patungo sa kinaroroonan ng banyo ay hindi na ako umimik, ni hindi ako tumingin man lang sa direksiyon niya.
While he was inside the restroom, for God knew why, I just sat on the stool, contemplating hardly about what just happened. We kissed. We finally kissed! I almost lost track about how he tasted and how he smelled while he was kissing me because all that mattered while it was happening was the softness and the gentle movement of his lips on mine, but it still a luck that my mind was very attentive… of course, I couldn’t lost track of how he tasted.
He tasted so good…
The bizarreness of it was positively overwhelming, I couldn’t even think of a proper act to show him when he went out of the restroom. Aakto ba akong parang walang nangyari? But we kissed! That alone was a big deal! Hindi ko kayang umaktong parang walang nangyari!
Absentmindedly, my hand went up to touch my still swollen and sensitive lips. It was, yes, overwhelming but I liked how his lips felt soft and gentle against mine. I never knew a kiss felt like that. It never crossed my mind that I would be experiencing my first kiss with Kuya Yoongi.
It was perfect because it was him…
Matagal-tagal din bago siya lumabas ng banyo. And when he did, it became too hard for me to settle my leaping heart. Lalo na nang kaswal lang siyang naglakad palapit sa akin, bahagyang tagilid ang ulo at tamad na nakatitig sa akin. Parang hindi siya nahihirapan kanina lang. Before I could even move to escape from him, he was already locking me on the stool, hands on either side of me and he was crouching again to level his handsome face to mine.
“I kissed you already… and you know what that means?”
Halos maduling ako nang ilapit niya pa ang mukha niya sa akin pero hindi sapat para magdikit muli ang mga labi namin. It was only again the tips of our noses. There wasn’t a smile in his lips but the tone he used was again showcased his amusement.
“You’re now my girlfriend.” Backing away instantly, he casually dipped his hands in his pockets as he stood in front of me for me to marvel. Gusto ko siyang hilahin palapit sa akin para ipagpatuloy ang ginagawa namin kanina pero mas nangibabaw ang kahihiyan sa sistema ko, mas pinalala pa ng sinabi niya.
He just gave us label! I was now his girlfriend, that made no room for Ate Mira anymore! Hindi niya girlfriend si Ate Mira. At hindi niya alam kung paano niya akong napasaya.
Restricting a smile, I bowed my head to hide from him the happiness that might be showing from my face. I also didn’t know how relationship works but like I said, I would let him take control because I trusted that he would lead us just right. Isa pa, siya pa ba? For sure he had a lot of experience.
“That… that makes you my b-boyfriend t-then…” I uttered very lowly, barely audible even to my ears but he still heard it.
“That makes me your boyfriend.” He repeated in an amused and certain tone.
And well, yes again, he completely ignored his responsibilities just for me.
Hindi ko siya pinilit na umalis dahil hindi ko naman gustong umalis siya, if anything, baka umiyak pa ako kung umalis nga siya. We just did random things, mostly, he let me do things I usually did when at home, all the while I was low-key trying to forget what happened so my embarrassment would leave me. Ni hindi na ako ulit bumisita sa social media dahil sapat na ang presensiya niya para hindi ako mainip. I would just say sorry to my roses and make it up for them in my next live stream.
Nagulat pa sina Mommy at Daddy nang maabutan nila si Kuya Yoongi pagdating nila, kahit nang sinabi ni Kuya Yoongi na mag-stay pa siya ng isang gabi ay nagtinginan sila na para bang hindi sila makapaniwala sa nangyayari habang nahihiyang yumuyuko na lang ako.
It was too hard for me not to blurt out to them the development of my relationship with Kuya Yoongi. I still couldn’t see the guarantee that they would be fine with it so I refrained myself from opening it up though it felt like I was keeping a secret to them. I was always honest to them so it was really really hard.
I hesitantly started the live stream I had been planning for the day. My cheeks burned as people started joining me faster than ever. Naisip kong baka dahil iyon sa caption na nilagay ko, pero sino bang niloko ko? It was the very first time I would be showing up again days after Daniel Kang posted a video. My direct message was being filled up with a lot of messages from unknown people, my notification was being bombarded with a lot of follow requests and my roses were already looking for me, leaving comments on my last recent post.
Of course, I knew why people were here, because they wanted to see me for a reaction to Daniel Kang’s video post.
Fraye: with a special guest
‘omgggg whoooo?’
‘could it be teahyunggggg? like we requested?’
‘aahhh fraye don’t do this to us’
'your dress so prettyyyy'
'youre backkkkk'
‘hi frayeeee I missed you!’
I kindly smiled at the last comment I read before it disappeared with the fast up-going of the following comments. Bahagya kong sinulyapan si Kuya Yoongi na prente lang na naka-upo sa kaharap kong single couch, naghihintay ng signal mula sa akin kung kailan siya puwedeng magpakita sa screen. I meant, it wasn’t my idea to have a live stream now and guest him, though truthfully, I was planning to see my roses.
It was his idea to show up and meet my roses.
“I think it’s time I meet those people who follow you on social media…” he said it as lazily as he looked so I thought he wasn’t serious but when he stared longer at me like no plans in taking back what he said, I realized he was serious.
Wala akong nagawa kung hindi ang kunin ang iPad ko para simulan na ang live stream ko.
“Hi roses! It’s been a while, r-right!” I had never been conscious while talking to my roses but with the stares he was giving me, it felt like he was watching out for every word that would come out of my mouth and for every move I would make. “So yeah, I have a guest—“
“A very important one…” He nonchalantly cut me off, voice was loud enough to get recorded on the mouthpiece of my gadget.
Ngumuso ako sa kaniya dahil hindi siya puwedeng basta-basta na lang magsalita. I was trying so hard to low-key introduce him to my roses so they wouldn’t be so surprised but it seemed like it was too late for that. The comment section was already being filled with his name. Kung paanong kilala ng mga roses ko ang boses niya, hindi ko alam.
“What?” natatawang tanong niya nang hindi ko siya tinantanan ng titig.
“You should wait till I formally introduce you to them, Kuya…” inis kong sabi.
“Oh, I thought they already know me…”
Umirap ako dahil halatang-halata ang kayabangan sa boses niya. He must have also known how popular he was on social media. Ang buong akala ko ay wala siyang paki-alam. Wala naman kasi siyang social media accounts para malaman ang mga kaganapan. Though some of his friends did have, it wasn’t like they told him things about him on Instagram.
Si Ate Hannan at Kuya Jimin ang pinaka-active sa IG sa kanilang lahat, and by the looks of it, those two were more than focused on their own world to even notice things that weren’t related to them.
Muli kong ibinalik sa screen ang mga mata ko at hindi na nag-abala pang sulyapan ang comments para magbasa dahil bukod sa pare-pareho lang naman ang mga naroon, ay sobrang bilis din ng pag-angat noon at hindi ko na naaabutan. I just focused my attention on what I was planning to do. Kumaway ako para pormal nang bumati dahil sobrang dami na ng viewers.
“So yeah, the essence of surprise was already spoiled. I’ll let you have a peek of my special guest for today. Please, understand that the man doesn’t smile often—“
“Yah, Julie, I smile often.” Muli niyang pinutol ang sinasabi ko saka siya nakangiting kumaway sa likod ng iPad ko na ikinatawa ko ng mahina dahil hindi ko pa naman naililipat sa back camera kaya hindi pa siya nakikita. I let him have his spotlight already as I switched it to the back camera, his handsome posture instantly appearing on the screen with his gummy smile.
Naisip ko tuloy kung tama bang idea na i-guest ko siya gayong ang guwapo-guwapo niya. People would really feast on him and I didn’t want that. In the end, nagawa ko namang sawayin ang puso ko para pormal na ipaalam sa mga roses ko ang appearance niya kahit na halatang hindi naman na iyon kailangan pa.
They all knew him obviously.
“Everyone, please, be good with Yoongi Min,” natatawang sabi ko dahil kumakaway pa rin siya. He didn’t even have any idea how his simple appearance had made the comment section get bombarded with screams for his name and different colored hearts were showered on the screen. May mga nahuli pa ang mga mata kong nagpapahayag ng confession nila kay Kuya Yoongi through those three words. “Say something, Kuya…”
Actually, I expected him to just stay silent and be lazy so it surprised me seeing his enthusiasm meeting my roses.
“Hi people.” His voice didn’t sound excited nor down, it could be considered good for someone like him. Hindi ko rin naman inaasahang may sasabihin pa siya na higit pa sa mga salitang sinabi niya kaya nang wala na iyong karugtong ay hindi na ako nagulat. Ang mahalaga ay nakangiti siya at mukhang masaya naman.
So far, the live stream was good. No lazy Kuya Yoongi.
He moved to sit beside me as I talked to my roses, it was both to keep himself shown to my viewers and to spare me the closeness I had been seeking from him. We weren’t so close, just decent enough for my roses not to suspect anything between us. May ilan ngang nagsabi na gusto nila kung paano naming ituring na parang magkapatid ang isa’t isa.
It seriously took me so much courage not to pout and tell them we didn’t treat each other as siblings. Gusto kong sabihin sa kanilang boyfriend ko si Kuya Yoongi pero hangga’t hindi pa puwedeng sabihin sa mga magulang namin tungkol doon, siguro ay mas mabuting ilihim na lang muna namin. It was for good.
It was also too hard not to show how my cheeks were burning with the very idea that I already had a boyfriend when my roses had been looking forward to it. Kahit papaano ay nagawa ko namang ikalma ang sarili ko.
A lot also asked him about his relationship with Ate Mira that none of them he answered. Nababasa namin ang mga tanong pero pinipili na lang namin na huwag sumagot. Pinagbigyan niya ang ilang bumabati, at natatawa siya sa tuwing nakakabasa siya ng ‘i love you yoongi’. Proud na proud akala niya ikinatuwa ko iyon.
I just hoped my pouting face didn’t come off as a jealous one.
Also, Daniel Kang was mentioned several times in the comment and I was glad he didn’t appear. I meant, I just didn’t know what to do or what to tell him if I saw his username lingering in the comment section. Hindi rin panigurado magugustuhan ni Kuya Yoongi iyon.
Pagkatapos naming makipag-usap sa mga roses ko ay nanahimik kami sa living room habang kumakain ng strawberry cookies na pinagkaabalahan niyang i-bake habang nanonood ako ng cartoons.
I didn’t want to laugh at him but I couldn’t help it when he innocently gave me his phone, his pair of kitten eyes blinking and his lips parted. Sobrang labong pagsamahin si Kuya Yoongi at ang pagiging inosente kaya hindi ko napigilang dumuko sa kaniya para patakan ng mabilis na halik ang mga labi niya bago ko abutin ang phone niya.
Hindi ko na sinulyapan pa ang reaksiyon niya nang bumalik ako sa puwesto ko dahil mahihiya lang ako, patunay ang mabilis na pag-iinit ng mga pisngi ko pero nagawa ko pang ilibot ang mga mata ko sa kabuuan ng living room para lang i-check kung may mga maids bang nakakalat.
“Yah, you’re being too much. You can’t just steal a kiss from me like that…” Narinig ko ang tamad niyang boses pero hindi ko na iyon pinansin pa at nagsimula nang mag-scroll sa phone niya.
He wanted me to make him an Instagram account. Millennial period would cave in shame with how innocent and oblivious he was with things a millennial does nowadays. Naiintindihan kong hindi siya socially active na tao, pero ang ideyang wala siyang social accounts? I meant, puro business ba ang pakinabang ng phone niya kaya ganoon?
Ginawan ko siya ng Instagram account, I just connected it to his gmail account that was logged in on his phone and it directed me to his basic feeds. Inayos ko ang profile niya, mayroon naman siyang mga pictures sa photos ng phone niya kaya namili na lang ako roon ng display picture niya. Hindi pa man ako natatapos ay dinagsa na kaagad ng followers ang bagong account niya. Wala pang isang minuto may lampas isang libong followers na!
Letting my jealous inner devil work, I set his account to private so people wouldn’t easily follow him without a confirmation from him. Hinayaan ko ang isang libong nakalusot.
Nang matapos ay ibinalik ko sa kaniya ang phone niya. “You can already post anything…” mahinang sabi ko.
I guessed I didn’t have to teach him how Instagram works because he already freely clicked on his phone. Nang sinilip ko ang ginagawa niya ay uminit ang pisngi ko nang makita kong nasa feeds ko siya. His forehead was in a deep crease when he saw the privacy it held, he couldn’t see my feeds yet but he already sent me a follow request. I picked up my iPad to allow his follow request.
My heart didn't fail to flutter for a notice when I saw that my account was his very first following. He had zero post, a thousand followers and one following.
“Can you control who follows you?” he asked confusedly, scrolling through my feeds when it already showed the sequence of my photos, sometimes stopping to open one photo and go through the comments.
“Yes, if your account is in private but you can’t control who are already following you,” sagot ko.
“How can we reduce that thousands of followers you have?”
Staring at the side of his face, I sighed deeply as I saw him staring darkly at his phone. Wala na akong magagawa sa dami ng followers ko. I just got tired hoping they would unfollow me but they weren’t decreasing as I wanted. Hindi na rin naman sila nadadagdagan dahil hindi na ako tumatanggap ng follow request, well, except his follow request just now.
“If they’ll unfollow me…”
It was his time to utter a deep sigh. Mukha siyang problemado habang nakatitig sa dami ng followers ko na para bang bothered na bothered siya. It was also like he was trying to think of an effective way on how to dispatch all those numbers of followers. Mas mukha pa siyang stress kaysa sa akin sa totoo lang.
“What about I message them all and ask them to unfollow you?”
Brows furrowing, I stared intently at his confused innocent face, weighing if he was kidding or he was just really suggesting a very absurd resolution. I meant, messaging those thousands of followers I had was very absurd already, what more asking them to unfollow me?
Nang makita kong wala siyang balak bawiin ang sinabi niya ay nagpakawala ako ng malalim na buntong-hininga saka mabagal na umiling.
“Why would you mind my f-followers?” Nag-iwas ako ng tingin at itinoon na lang sa gadget ko ang atensiyon ko. I scrolled on the screen to go through my Instagram account. My bio still wasn’t changing, but I was still hoping people would stop following me.
“Nakikita ba ng mga iyan lahat ng posts mo?” muli niyang tanong na sinagot ko ng marahang tango. “Even these photos?”
Looking over at him again, I was met by the screen of his phone. Naroon na siya sa sequence ng feeds ko kung saan puro posts ko ay mga outfits ko lang. A lot of them were overall shorts since it was what I used to wear at home or outside. They weren’t really revealing, aside from those outfit revealed my long legs, my top was covered with sometimes an oversized sweater or a shirt.
“Yes.”
“Then delete these photos…”
Kung kanina ay hindi pa ako naniniwalang seryoso siya sa sinasabi niya, halos umatras ako palayo sa kaniya dahil nang mag-angat siya sa akin ng tingin ay salubong na ang mga kilay at hindi na maganda ang timpla ng mukha. His voice didn’t even sound calm or anything near that, it was firm and unbreakable.
I wanted to regret now ever making him an Instagram account.
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