Rushed and unedited.

So here cuties, i seriously don't understand a lot of what i've written here and if you don't want sexual violence/tension, please see yourself out i love you💋.

⚠️ Contains 'mild' sexual tension ⚠️

🤭✌️

- Hannan ♥

🥀🥀🥀

Chapter Twenty

It wasn’t a good idea to have both a raging Kuya Yoongi and a furious Ate Hannan in one place, one table to be specific so Kuya Namjoon smartly suggested for either of them to steam off at the other table.

Matigas ang ulo ni Ate Hannan pero hindi rin naman nagpatinag si Kuya Yoongi. Sinubukan din ulit ni Kuya Jin na umalis at kumuha na lang ng isa pang table pero muling siyang pinigilan ni Kuya Yoongi.

“Jimin, take her away from here.” Pabagsak na naupo si Kuya Yoongi sa espasyong nasa tabi ni Kuya Namjoon, humalukipkip saka blankong tinitigan si Kuya Jimin na nasa kaharap na couch. It was clear that it wasn't him who needed the other table, it was a declaration that he wanted Ate Hannan away.

Harshly getting off from Kuya Jimin’s lap and arms, Ate Hannan quickly stood up, angrily wiping her tears. Nang nilingon niya si Kuya Yoongi ay masama na ang titig niya, ang mukha ay may bakas pa rin ng luha pero sobrang ganda pa rin. Wet strands of her blonde hair sticking on her face. She carelessly jerked Kuya Jimin’s hands away when he attempted to hold her again.

It all happened while I remained standing awkwardly at my ground, and didn’t seriously know what to do. The feeling of being out of place and unwelcome kicked into my system, I again questioned myself, why I was here again?

Hindi ba dapat ay nasa bahay na ako, nag-aaral o di kaya ay nanonood ng Netflix o nakikipag-usap sa mga roses ko? It didn't feel good to me that the cold guy brought me here for Ate Mira but it felt worst that I needed to witness them being like this.

I knew he hated me, he might despise my whole existence that was why he was doing this to me. Only if I had the courage to walk away, leave him here and go home, I might have done it already.

“East, c’mon, we have to talk to Kuya Jin—“

“No! Don’t touch me, Jimin! Mira, Fraye, let’s go—“

“Hindi mo isasama si Julie. She’ll stay here…”

From watching Ate Hannan go boar mode to her boyfriend, my attention quickly snapped towards Kuya Yoongi when he again spoke in a low and firm tone. Ganoon din ang ginawa ng lahat. I had never liked how he always looked so lazy and lame, as if he was too done and too tired to deal with anything in this world but again, for some unknown reason, my heart seemed to fall to my stomach when seeing him lazily draw his eyes to mine.

Bakit ganyan siya? Bakit ganito na lang bigla ang epekto niya sa akin?

I meant, his friends weren’t exactly in a very good condition, they weren’t stable in general but my heart was too stubborn, wanting to get noticed. Hindi ko kayang umaktong parang isa ako sa kanila, ni hindi maganda ang pakiramdam kong nandito ako at nasasaksihan silang ganito.

My heart must very thirsty for attention… for his attention.

“Yoo, maybe it’s a good idea to let us come with Hann—“

“You can come with that brat, Mira, but you’ll leave Julie here.”

Sa tigas at diin ng boses ni Kuya Yoongi ay alam kong hindi maganda kung susuway kami sa kaniya. Kahit sina Kuya Namjoon at Kuya Jin ay tahimik lang pareho, tila alam na alam na kapag seryoso siya, walang dapat na sumalungat sa gusto niya. It was too inappropriate to be honest. Hindi lang pala siya bossy at salbahe sa akin, maging sa mga kaibigan niya.

I knew I might pick on his bad side even more but I couldn’t let him act this way anymore. I was seriously disgusted with how he thought things were easy for him to order just anyone he wanted. I also knew more than going otherwise his words but my heart just suddenly couldn’t deal with it anymore.

I wasn't still fine about the fact that he brought me here for Ate Mira! Who wanted to witness their friendship fall apart? I would rather choose locking myself in my room and having sweet talks to my roses!

Pursing my lips tightly, my fist in front of my lap closed firmly as I hardly shook my head. Gusto kong manliit nang sa akin naman dumako ang mga atensiyon nila. I didn’t like eyes still, so it almost made me just turn around and leave but I stilled myself, bravely crossing Kuya Yoongi’s kitten eyes once again behind his intimidating specs.

Kahit na sobrang hirap gawin noon, nilakasan ko ang loob ko.

“I’ll go with them," I said in a hard and brave tone.

Mabilis na nagsalubong ang mga kilay niya at umawang ang mga labi niya. From beside him, I saw how Kuya Namjoon turned to him to check for his reaction. In the end, the smart man lamely shook his head at me. Parang sinasabi sa aking hindi magandang ideya ang gusto kong mangyari. Clearly, he also knew how Kuya Yoongi when mad.

“Perfect! Paiiyakin ka lang ng lalaking iyan, Fraye. Why don’t we just drink and talk?” Hindi ko namalayan ang paglapit ni Ate Hannan sa akin, ang paghawak niya sa kamay ko dahil abala ang mga mata ko sa paninitig kay Kuya Yoongi pero hindi nakalagpas sa ilong ko ang halimuyak ng alak mula sa kaniya.

Kuya Yoongi attempted to stand when she had reached me but Kuya Namjoon was quick to stop him.

“Kuya, just let them be. We’ll just watch over them,” kalmadong sabi ni Kuya Namjoon.

Sighing deeply in defeat, Kuya Yoongi stared up at the almost-wasted girl beside me. “Hannan, no, leave her here.” He tried again but Ate Hannan started pulling me away from their table when Ate Mira stood up.

The last thing I saw before I completely turned my attention to the two older girls by my sides was how Kuya Yoongi angrily swatted Kuya Namjoon’s hand away from him before sinking furiously on his seat.

Para siyang batang hindi napagbigyan ang gusto.

All the way to the table Ate Hannan had chosen for us, somewhere far from the boys but still visible for them, my mind was on where we left from. Kay Kuya Yoongi, to be specific. Somehow, I admired Ate Hannan for having the courage to talk back like that to Kuya Yoongi. Even Kuya Namjoon and Kuya Jimin seemed to avoid having an argument with him.

A soft squeeze on my hand pulled me back to where we were already. Nakita kong naka-upo na sina Ate Mira at Ate Hannan sa mahabang couch na napili nila, sa harap ay isang pabilog na mesa samantalang nananatili pa rin akong nakatayo.

I lightly smiled at Ate Hannan when she silently tapped the space in between them, telling me to sit.

The table they chose was one of the nearest to the platform in front where three boys got the honour to showcase their music. Mas maliwanag din dito dahil sa mga ilaw na nakapalibot sa stage, at mas maraming tao. The table where the boys were was kind of secluded, it was in the corner and the dimmer part of the place but near the bar counter.

“Are you sure you’re still sober, Hannan?”

Matapos akong maupo ay nagsalita si Ate Mira, itinataas niya ang kamay para tumawag ng isa sa mga nagkalat na waiter. Normally, people would go to the bar counter to order drinks and then just wait at the table till it served, but people also could just stay in the table, call for a waiter and ask for drinks. Madalas kasi ay napupuno ng mga tao ang bar counter.

May lumapit kaagad na waiter sa amin.

“Of course, and still sober enough to drink more…” Ate Hannan answered in a husky voice before telling the waiter what drinks she wanted. “And oh, milk tea for her but don’t make it too obvious. Hide it if possible…” She then sent the waiter off, waving her hand.

“Hannan, I don’t like what you’re planning to do…”

Imbis na pakinggan ang sinabi ni Ate Mira ay nakangising umiling lang si Ate Hannan saka ako binalingan, ang mga mapupungay na mga mata ay kumurap-kurap sa akin habang binibigyan naman ako ng matamis na ngiti. By the looks of it, she was already drunk. Siguro ay marami na siyang nainom kanina bago pa kami dumating, mukhang nakalimutan na rin niyang kanina lang ay umiiyak siya.

I pouted at her beautiful drunk form. Magulo na ang mahaba at blonde niyang buhok, dahil sa lasing siguro kaya wala na siyang paki-alam sa hitsura niya.

“You know what? You’re so cute!” Marahan niyang pinisil ang panga ko na tila pinanggigigilan saka ngumuso. “We’ll just anger him a little…” Itinaas niya ang mga daliri niya at ipinakita sa akin kung gaano kaliit lang ang ibig niyang sabihin.

“Hannan, you’re clearly not sob—“

“Just a little, hm?” And she leaned back from me as Ate Mira’s defeated sigh from my other side reached my ears.

Kahit hindi niya banggitin ay kilala ko kung sino ang tinutukoy niya. Kahit siya alam na pagdating sa akin, madaling nagagalit si Kuya Yoongi. The drunk girl must be thinking of using me to get even on Kuya Yoongi for what he said to her earlier.

Pouting more at her slurring form at the corner of the couch, I comforted myself in my own space and just turned my head to watch the performing guys at the stage. Nagulat pa ako nang makitang sa direksiyon namin nakatitig ang vocalist ng Boyz with Fun. I wasn’t assuming when clearly, from behind the strands of his bangs, the pair of his big round eyes was directed to me.

Isang beses ko pang kinompirma kung sa akin ba talaga siya nakatitig, iniwas ko ang tingin ko pero ibinalik din naman sa kaniya para lang makitang nakatitig pa rin siya. Suddenly, I felt uncomfortable. Having people’s eyes behind my back when I wasn’t looking was uncomfortable already, what more knowing someone was staring at me and not being fazed that I was aware?

Kilala ko siya sa mukha. Sa dalas ko rito noon, at sa dalas ko silang mapanood na mag-perform ay pamilyar na sa akin ang mga mukha nila pero hindi ang mga pangalan nila. Tatlo lang naman silang miyembro ng Boyz with Fun na siyang personal band ng The Min's resto-bar, ang isa ang siyang vocalist at guitarist, ang isa ay drummer at ang isa pa ay guitarist din. Also, though I wasn’t interested in music, I could tell that they were good.

Karamihan sa mga nandito ay sila ang ipinunta, kung minsan naman ay nasa stage din si Kuya Jimin at nagbibigay ng isang kanta.

Well, Kuya Jimin had a very beautiful voice. Noong unang beses ko siyang marinig na kumanta ay humanga talaga ako.

I was so grateful when the waiter arrived with our drinks. Kahit papaano ay nakita ko kung paanong nawala sa akin ang mga mata ng vocalist ng grupong nasa stage. He continued singing, slightly closing his eyes as if feeling the song. He had a very soothing voice, the one that was perfect for serenading.

I just thought that maybe, it wasn't really me who he was looking at. May mga tao rin naman sa likod ko kaya baka roon siya nakatitig kaya hindi ko na iyon pinansin.

“Let’s see, kapag pumunta siya rito sa table natin, palalayasin ko talaga siya.”

Nang mawala ang waiter ay mabilis na itinabi ni Ate Hannan ang milk tea na para sa akin, sinigurado niyang malapit iyon sa akin pero hindi makikita ng mga nasa likod. Also, she made sure to leave the beers on sight, those weren’t even light drinks, those were the types I knew could send anyone into a slurring state in one drink.

She was really serious when she said, she would anger Kuya Yoongi. Alam niyang hindi magugustuhan nito kapag uminom ako.

“Oh please, don’t make me watch after you when you can no longer carry yourself!” inis na sabi ni Ate Mira, muli na namang nabigo nang akmang aagawin niya ang kopitang sinalinan ni Ate Hannan ng beer.

“My boyfriend’s here, Miranda, he'll surely take care of me. You, don’t drink too much. Walang maghahatid sa’yo pauwi…”

Ate Mira whined at that, harshly taking the other bottle of beer from the table before pouring some on the other shot glass. Padabog niya iyong ininom. Nang makita niyang nakatitig ako ay tipid siyang ngumiti.

“When you grow up, don’t be like her, Fraye. Huwag mong pasasakitin ang ulo ng mga taong nakapaligid sa’yo…” She softly told me, putting the shot glass back to the table to pour some beer again. Her thoughtful advice accompanied by her soft lulling voice just pained my heart because of the guilt.

I seriously couldn't hate her when she was so kind and nice. If she was really Kuya Yoongi's girlfriend, though it might feel weird for me, I needed to accept it. It shouldn't change what was my initial perception of her.

“I heard that,” Ate Hannan drunkenly commented, her voice wasn’t straight and stable anymore.

“What? Magpapakalasing ka na lang ba riyan? What about your issue with Jin? Hannan, the boys are maturely talking it out, sober up and let’s talk!”

It was hard to stare alternately at them since they occupied the seats at both of my sides so I just chose Ate Hannan, it looked like she needed the watch more than Ate Mira did. Lasing na siya, hindi na diretso ang tono ng boses niya at bahagya na siyang napapapikit.

“Kuya Jin, Kuya Hoseok… A-Ate M. Can’t I be free from the thoughts of them just for a n-night? At least, l-let me forget…”

Kung gaano kadali lang na nalukot ang mukha niya at bumuhos ang mga luha niya ay ganoon kadali lang ding nagbago ang atmospera sa table namin. It suddenly felt empty and sad, seeing her vulnerably break down on her seat. I didn’t need to hear her story for me to sympathize with her, because if you knew her as a strong and difficult lady, it would probably rip your heart to see her cry.

She looked too lost and broken.

Hindi na rin nagsalita si Ate Mira, tumayo siya at lumipat sa kabilang bahagi ng couch. She instantly brought the crying lady into her arms, hugging her gently and whispering her comfort. While I just stayed silent, respecting that she needed peace and silent to make herself feel so free and fragile. We stayed like that for a couple of minutes, many songs had passed by already, people started leaving their tables but my milk tea was still untouched.

Once in a while, I was looking back to look at the back, seeing the boys talking and drinking. Kuya Jimin would always spare us concern look, obviously aware about his girlfriend's vulnerable state but seeing their serious faces while talking, I understood that he couldn't go to our table.

Kung minsan naman ay nahuhuli ako ni Kuya Yoongi na lumilingon kaya napapanguso ako at nag-iiwas ng tingin, kung minsan naman ay siya ang nahuhuli kong nakatitig sa table namin pero wala siyang ginagawa, para bang wala lang sa kaniyang nahuli ko siya.

He’s not looking at you, Fraye.

Sighing deeply, seeing the droplets of water that form on the glass of my milk tea, I refrained myself from thinking badly of Ate Mira and Kuya Yoongi. I meant, it was true that it didn’t feel good knowing that there might be something going on between them but I knew deep within me that true or not, it shouldn’t bother me.

Ayaw ko rin naman talagang uminom e. I knew I couldn’t afford it but drawing my eyes from my milk tea to the bottles of beer on the table, I raised my hand to pick one, feeling like I needed those bitter drinks more than Ate Hannan needed them. It felt like I wanted those beers more than my milk tea.

Ate Mira and Ate Hannan were both entangled in their own created bubble to even mind me. There were only two shot glasses so I didn’t have any choice but to drink directly from the bottle.

It was weird to be honest. It didn’t feel right I knew, but aside from that, I didn’t feel anything like hesitation. Kung mayroon man akong nararamdamang iba, siguro iyon iyong kaunting sabik sa sistema ko para sa panibagong inuming kailanman ay hindi ko inaakalang susubukan kong tikman.

Surely, my Daddy would visit The Min’s resto bar to ban me here himself if I would go home smelled like beer. Si Mommy? She wouldn’t be mad, she had been throwing me out of De Asis mansion, even asking her friends to ask their daughters to bring me to a night out.

Nang dumikit ang mga labi ko sa bukana ng bote ay agad kong naamoy ang mabangong amoy ng alak. It pushed me to have my first taste but I instantly winced when my hand was quickly taken away from near my mouth, long pianist fingers groping tightly my wrist as my fingers loosened.

Ang malakas na pagbagsak ng bote ng beer sa sahig mula sa kamay ko ang kumuha ng atensiyon nina Ate Mira at Ate Hannan.

“Sinusubukan mo talaga ang pasensya ko, Hannan! You know I don’t let her drink!”

Ate Hannan wasn’t wrong when she said Kuya Yoongi would go here, mad and furious because of the drinks she ordered. From the way he tightly gripped my wrist and his voice thundered angrily, I knew he was more than furious.

Kusa na rin akong tumayo nang maramdaman ko ang mas paghigpit pa ng hawak niya sa akin. Instantly, he pulled me closer to him, taking me away from the ground where shattered pieces of the bottles were scattered. My back straightening when I felt his body lightly grazing mine, his fingers on my wrist still held tightly.

I was scared, though ironically, my heart was feasting for the attention he was giving me again. My whole system almost shut down upon having his strawberry scent meet my nose again. My shocked form stood tensed and unmoving so close to him.

Fraye, you really need to quickly find out what's that feelings about… it's getting dangerous and out of control the longer you let it within your heart.

“Yoo, calm down. Hindi para kay Fraye iyong mga beers na in-order namin.” Ate Mira stood up to try to hold Kuya Yoongi, maybe in an attempt to calm him down but he stepped back, pulling me with him.

Masama ang tinging ibinato niya kay Ate Hannan na kunot ang noong nakatitig pabalik, ang mga mata nito ay sumaglit pa muna sa sahig kung nasaan ang basag na bote at nagkalat na alak.

Tears on her rosy cheeks still glistening, it still hadn’t dried out because it wasn’t still long before she stopped crying. She showed no fear or guilt, instead, her lips instantly pulled up in a wide grin before she happily clapped her hand. Ang lasing na mga mata ay antok na tumitig sa akin.

"You drank the beer, Fraye? Tuturuan pa lang sana kita pero mukhang hindi na kailangan. Seems like you got it al—"

"Bullshit! Get out! I want you out of this place, Hannan!" Kuya Yoongi angrily cut her off. Damang-dama ko ang pagpipigil sa boses niya, na siguro, kung hindi lang babae si Ate Hannan ay kanina niya pa ito nasaktan.

"Yoo, please calm down. Hannan, stop it. You're drunk, Yoo's angry. Please, please, just stop." Ate Mira's soft voice pleaded but none of the two paid attention to her. She even tried to reach for Kuya Yoongi again but was stopped again when Ate Hannan spoke.

"What? The little girl needs to learn how to enjoy life! You actually should be grateful to me…" Mas lumapad pa ang ngiti sa mga labi ni Ate Hannan nang tumagos sa likod ko ang lasing niyang mga mata, tila nagugustuhan ang nakikitang reaksiyon ng lalaking nasa likod ko.

"Miranda, take that brat out or bring her to Jimin. I'm so tired of her bullshit…" Iyon lang at marahas na niya akong hinila paalis sa table namin. As we strode towards somewhere the place, Ate Mira's soft voice that called for him was again ignored.

I was too lost and too stunned to even realize that he was dragging my oblivious form. All I could think of was how the way this felt so familiar, how his hands that gripped tightly on my wrist felt familiar, how they way he dragged me and how they way my world seemed to stop and only focused on him.

It had been like this. I was just too occupied with the fear of him before to give acknowledgment of such reality. Mas nangingibabaw kasi iyong takot ko noon sa kaniya kaya hindi ko nabibigyang-pansin ang ganitong pakiramdam noon. Now that fear was out of my system, the new-found feeling was strongly kicking, taking place of the fear I once housed in my heart.

What was this? It seriously and obviously wasn't fear anymore.

"Bullshit! Bullshit!" His harsh and loud profanity along with the loud thump made by the sudden closing of the door pulled me to where we were. Ni hindi niya ako binigyan ng pagkakataong makabawi sa pagtataka, ni hindi niya hinayaang tumatak sa isipan ko ang lugar na kinaroroonan namin dahil mabilis niya akong inikot at paharap na isinandal sa pinto.

A cry of yelp escaped my mouth at the hard contact of my front body to the hard door, my cheek pressed flat on the hard surface I was sure it would form a bruise. Fire immediately burst from within me, scorching every part of my body when I felt his body pushed against my back, his hard chest on my shoulder blades and the hard metal of his belt pressed against the curve of my bottom.

Sinubukan kong itulak ang pinto para kumawala sa kaniya pero mabilis niyang naabot ang mga kamay ko at ipinirmi sa parehong gilid ko. Pushing his body more against mine, his ragged breathing near my ear brought chills to my spine and his shaking body brought my legs to meet tightly.

He was too intimately close to me! To the point that I could really feel what his pants contained beneath! It felt hard and restricted against my bottom!

It made me shiver.

"K-Kuya…" It almost seemed like my poor attempt to speak was only a whisper. Ginalaw ko ang ulo ko para alisin ang mga labi niya malapit sa tainga ko pero mas isinubsob niya ang mukha niya sa leeg ko, idinidiin pa ang pisngi ko sa pinto.

"D-Dont. Don't move. Stay still, don't move and don't speak…" he said in a suffering tone, his hot breath on my skin sending waves of electricity once again confusing me. Dahan-dahang niyang binitiwan ang isang kamay ko para dalhin sa bibig ko ang palad niya. His big palm softly covered my mouth as if one word from me or any movement would only send him to his suffering.

Hindi talaga ako makakagalaw. One move and I could feel something on my bottom from his body. Did it feel nice? It felt so weird, and sexually weird!

I could just cry to let him know how it felt so odd and uncomfortable for me, but I couldn't! If anything, it felt so familiar and too hot for me. It felt too weird, yes but too overwhelming. Emotions in my heart just because we were literally so close to each other were bouncing within me, affecting every bit of my system, numbing my mind and weakening my body.

"You know more than making me angry, Julie. You know how I always act when mad…"

Mariin akong pumikit nang maramdaman ko ang banayad na pagdampi ng mga labi niya sa likod ng tainga ko, mainit iyon at malambot. For some unknown reason, my body was reacting so bizarre, it seemed like it missed his very assault to me. Iyon iyon… iyong pakiramdam na hindi ko siya magawang itulak palayo sa akin dahil bukod sa nanghihina ako… nagugustuhan ng katawan ko ang lapit namin sa isa't isa.

If only my rational mind wasn't pinned down by the insane and unstable part of my mind, I could have pushed him away from me, thinking that Ate Mira and his friends were just somewhere outside the room but I couldn't, I wanted us to stay like this.

It was hard to admit that but I suddenly wanted how he harshly manhandled me, touched me the way he wanted as if pulling the inner devil from me. It was his, my inner devil was just there, sitting patiently and waiting for his own inner devil to take her out.

Was I innocent? It came from him, I was no innocent. And I was proving him right all along.

"I told you, I was just holding myself. Drinking a beer? God, Julie, were you really trying to push my buttons? You know you're my trigger…"

Kaya ba pumasok sa isip ko ang uminom kanina? Dahil ba talaga sa kaniya? Dahil ba alam kong nakatitig siya sa bawat galaw ko? Alam kong nasa akin ang atensiyon niya at hindi ako kontento roon kaya binalak kong uminom.

"I stopped spanking you because you're already old enough for that kind of punishment. But I have something new in mind…"

Gasping against his palm that still covered my mouth, I closed my eyes firmly as my body shook hardly when I felt his other palm started trailing up along the skin of my inner thigh, leaving burning caresses on every skin his touch left from, my skirt riding up. Ipinagdikit ko ang mga hita ko kaya tumigil ang kamay niya, naipit sa pagitan ng mga ito saka ako mabilis na umiling.

"I won't anger you a-again!" Words barely even formed, it was still a luck that I managed to speak against his palm.

Hindi ko kaya! It wasn't fear, it was the anticipation of what would it felt like to be sexually assaulted by him because I knew, my mind could have been corrupted but my body was still very foreign when it came to that… I had never been touched that way so it scared me.

It was too much for me, that though I liked it, I knew my body wouldn't take it.

"Too late, I'm already more than angry… now, stop being a bad girl for once and open your legs before I make you."