Chapter Fourteen

Halos pare-parehong eksena lang ang nagaganap sa Min Mansion sa mga sumunod pang mga araw. Kung minsan ay nagugulat na lang ako dahil lumilitaw ang mga kaibigan niya ng walang pasabi. They wouldn’t come altogether, I hadn’t seen Kuya Hoseok and Kuya Jin come together but they would either be with anyone from their circle.

Palagi silang hati.

Ate Hannan and Kuya Jimin once visited with the others but neither with Kuya Jin and Kuya Hoseok around… mukhang sa tatlo nga nahahati ang grupo nila.

It actually very saddening to watch their group fall apart when I was once a witness to how happy they were before. I noticed how everyone seemed to avoid the topic about one another, just like how Kuya Jin and Kuya Hoseok’s name couldn’t be mentioned in front of Ate Hannan. Noong si Kuya Hoseok ang nandito ay hindi rin sila pareho nag-usap ni Kuya Yoongi ng tungkol kay Kuya Jin pero nabanggit nga nila si Ate Hannan.

"I treasure our friendship, Seok but we all can't let us to be like this for long." Kuya Yoongi's voice was dripping with concern and disappointment.

"Then what should I do? Mas magagalit lang si Hannan kapag nagsama kami sa iisang lugar, Kuya." Also, Kuya Hoseok, the man I knew as the happy pill and the energiser of the group was upset just like how Kuya Jin was when Ate Hannan was mentioned.

"Bullshit. Years have passed already! Everyone should move on!"

"I understand if she can't still move on, Kuya because even myself, I couldn't see myself being over what happened… never Kuya." Pain and sorrow then engulfed the energetic man before a deafening silence reigned in between them.

Narinig ko rin mula sa usapan nila Kuya Yoongi at Kuya Jimin isang araw na may isa pa silang kaibigan na nasa labas ng bansa.

That parted their group in four.

“Yeah, he has called already. It was awkward but we managed to get by…” nakangising sabi ni Kuya Jimin nang tanungin siya ni Kuya Yoongi tungkol sa kung sino, maliwanag ang mukha dahil sa tila masayang balitang iyon.

The carefree handsome guy had been glued to his girlfriend, Ate Hannan, who sat leaning on him and was focused on her phone. Kasama nilang pumunta rito si Kuya Namjoon at Kuya Taehyung pero agad umalis ang mga ito dahil sa biglaang tawag na natanggap ni Kuya Namjoon.

Tungkol daw sa negosyo. How could I forget that Kuya Namjoon was already being tasked to manage their business? Or it could be about family-business affair that was why he dragged Kuya Taehyung with him.

Iyong dalawang iyon talaga ang madalas kasama ng iba. Sometimes it would be Kuya Jin and Kuya Taehyung, or Kuya Hoseok and Kuya Namjoon. In that way, I could see them all trying to save their friendship from finally being ruined

From their past conversations the past few days, they had been planning a vacation but no one of them was really taking it seriously. Pumapayag naman sila sa bawat suggestions ng bawat isa pero walang kumikilos para bigyang kulay ang mga plano nila. I would just draw while listening to them, sometimes, minding my phone or watching a cartoon movie while they all talked.

Sa lagay nga naman ng pagkakaibigan nila, mas uunahin pa ba nila ang pagsasaya?

I hadn’t gone live ever since the last time, but I posted stuff like my recent drawings. Nagulat pa ako nang makatanggap ako isang araw ng notification mention mula sa isa sa mga roses ko at dinala ako noon sa picture na ipinost ni Kuya Taehyung.

The charming guy had posted a photo of us, he liked taking selfies so when he asked me, I willingly obliged. He seriously could gather thousands of hearts and comments with just one post. Everyone even noticed the interval of his last post to the recent one, it was years to be honest. Hindi ko naman alam na i-po-post niya iyong selfie namin, hindi niya rin ako tinag.

Ngayon ay nag-ri-rquest ang mga roses ko ng live at gusto nilang i-guest ko si Kuya Taehyung o kahit si Kuya Yoongi.

Really, my roses were becoming spoiled. Hindi naman sa ayaw kong sundin ang gusto nila, but I also should consider if it would be okay with Kuya Taehyung. I couldn’t consider Kuya Yoongi because there was no way I would drag his lazy self to a live stream. It would probably be boring anyway.

I could only imagine him being silent and lazy all the while the camera was rolling, I could even bet, he wouldn't ever give a damn about all the viewers who would come to see him.

“Mabuti naman. Kuya Jin and Hoseok aren’t still talking, hindi na dapat kayo dumagdag pa. Your issues with him are long overdue already…” tamad na sabi ni Kuya Yoongi. Nang nilingon ko siya ay nakita ko kung paanong mariing tinitigan niya si Ate Hannan na tila walang naririnig dahil focused pa rin sa phone nito.

She wore a black cami top that was tucked in her tight faded jeans, it matched her boyfriend’s black oversized long-tee and jeans. Pareho silang blonde hair. Hindi ko rin tuloy mapigilang isipin kung aware ba sila sa mga pictures nilang nagkalat sa IG? Sure they didn’t post much of their photos together but people who followed their relationship had ways, lalo na at hindi naman sila sikreto.

They would just go out together and photos of them would already be circulating the social media. Hindi naman sila mga celebrities pero model kasi si Kuya Jimin plus kilala talaga sila. Marami rin siguro talagang fans ang relationship nila lalo na at madalas din silang subject ng mga relationship-goal pages.

“I had been trying to reach out to him, it was him who was refusing to talk, Kuya. Kaya nga nagulat ako noong siya iyong tumawag sa akin…”

“Did you talk about your issue?”

Kumunot ang noo ni Kuya Jimin bago siya umiling. “We both believe, though not spoken, that it’s still too early for that, Kuya. We didn’t talk for years and now that we start talking again… maybe we both want it slow.”

Iyong sinabing iyon ni Kuya Jimin ang umagaw ng atensiyon ng girlfriend niya. Ate Hannan quickly raised a gaze at him, her eyes weren’t showing anything like usual. Hindi ko alam kung natutuwa ba siya dahil natural ang ganyang ekspresiyon sa kaniya. Kuya Jimin gently caressed her arm as he gave her a tender smile, it seemed like he knew what she was thinking.

“We’ll make sure he doesn’t have feelings for you anymore, Hannan,” he softly said before quickly dropping a peck on her lips. Nagpakawala ng malalim na buntong-hininga si Ate Hannan saka tumango.

All while that was happening, I couldn’t help but feel weird watching them. Sure, hindi na bago sa akin ang nakikita silang intimate sa isa’t isa, noon pa lang din ay alam ko nang sobrang clingy nila pareho na kahit napakaluwag ng long couch na inuupuan nila ay magsisiksikan talaga sila sa isang tabi habang magkayakap pero… pero may kakaibang pakiramdam sa loob ko ang hindi ko maintindihan.

My heart would always go soft for them, it was natural because they were so sweet together but the clenching in my stomach and the tingling in my heart were something new. Something I wasn’t used too…

Wala sa sariling bumaling ako kay Kuya Yoongi na naka-upo sa harap ng couch na inuupuan ko. Kaming dalawa ang nag-o-occupy ng magkaharap na single couches sa magkabilang gilid ng long couch. My heart felt like choking me as my lips parted in shock when I saw him lazily staring at me.

Isa pa ito! Isa pa itong ganitong pakiramdam sa loob ko na hindi ko alam kung kailan pa nabuhay! It could be because he was finally being kind and nice to me but it was unreasonable! It was too shallow for that, the exaggerated reaction of my heart was too shallow over just his changes!

Masarap sa pakiramdam pero nakakatakot…

Ngumuso ako sa kaniya pero hindi ako umiwas ng tingin tulad ng madalas kong gawin sa tuwing nagsasalubong ang mga mata namin. I stared back at his kitten lazy eyes behind his specs, my mind circulated thoughts I hadn’t even known I would. His eyes were the scariest thing for me.

They were too deep and mysterious, something I wouldn’t ever want to dive into because of the uncertainty, plus, every time he would hurt me before, the only thing my mind was capable of remembering was his cold dark eyes.

It became a trademark of his assaults to me.

Staying at the Min Mansion for almost two weeks wasn’t as bad as it was before. Maraming nagbago, mga pagbabagong paniguradong tatabunan na ang lahat ng mga hindi magagandang ala-alang mayroon ako sa mansiyon noong bata pa ako.

He bought me drawing materials, played me First Love many times, baked me strawberry cookies and made me milk constantly… all of it might make up to all his assaults to me. It could replace all the bad memories I had with him.

Nagbukas din iyon ng pinto para sa akin sa mas malalim pang parte ng buhay ng mga kaibigan niya.

I wasn’t included in their circle but it felt like I was. Hindi kasi sila nangingiming pag-usapan sa harap ko iyong mga problema nila. Though a lot was still vague for me since all I did was listened to each side of their point of views because they weren’t very direct to the point.

“Have you talked with your mother, Fraye?” tanong sa akin ni Tita Belle nang maabutan ko siya sa kusina.

She was wearing a white silky night gown, its long laces from both sides were untied and freely hanging on her sides. May hawak siyang isang baso ng tubig, sa countertop ay ang tray kung saan nakapatong ang isang pitcher.

Tumango ako. “Yes, I just finished talking to them po. They said I’d have to stay here for tonight and they’ll just pick me up tomorrow,” sagot ko.

Kausap ko ang mga magulang ko kanina. Nakabalik na sila from their business trip at dahil late na sila pareho dumating ay hinayaan kong magpahinga muna sila at bukas na lang ako sunduin.

Siguro ay naka-usap na rin nila si Tita Belle at Tito Thomas tungkol doon.

“Ah no, no, no. We already talked. Si Yoongi ang maghahatid sa’yo bukas.” Mabilis na umiling si Tita Belle habang nagsasalin ng tubig sa isa pang baso. Pagkatapos ay inabot niya sa akin iyon kaya mahina akong nagpasalamat. “He has been staying indoor for the whole week, he needs sunlight for his health. Hindi ka ba mahilig mag-shopping, Fraye? Why don’t you drag him to shop? Just make sure he’ll be out of this house.”

Matapos kong uminom ng tubig ay ngumuso ako saka bumuntong-hininga, malamang ay nakita na niya sa mukha ko ang sagot kaya bumuntong-hininga rin siya. She looked like she was having a big problem with her youngest son.

Hindi na ako nasurpresa. Kahit ako poproblemahin din ang lalaking iyon. Pinoproblema ko na nga pala siya…

“I don’t really go out to shop, Tita. Mommy has always handled that for me…” sagot ko dahil hindi naman talaga ako nag-sha-shop, si Mommy ang umaasikaso ng mga damit ko. Magugulat na lang ako dahil may mga bagong damit na sa walk-in closet ko kahit na hindi ko pa nasusuot ang karamihan sa mga binili niya.

My Daddy couldn’t be expected to buy me dresses, he preferred buying me kiddie stuff, mostly princess dolls. Sa kanila ni Mommy, siya talaga iyong tingin sa akin ay iyong five-year old Fraye pa rin. For him, I wasn’t growing.

“What about playing at the park? Maganda ang araw bukas dahil summer na, you can go to an amusement park.”

Hindi ko napigilan ang pagkunot ng noo ko dahil sa mga sinasabi niya. She sounded too desperate and very eager to get her son out of the Min Mansion. Mukhang napansin niya iyon kaya malungkot siyang ngumiti sa akin, umayos siya ng tayo saka bumuntong-hiningang muli.

“You see, I’ve been so worried of his social life. He doesn’t go out of the house, yes, he have friends in school but I want him to be socially active. Sa mga Min parties ay parati ko siyang itinutulak na makisalamuha sa mga bisita pero mailap talaga siya…” Her soft voice sounded so sad and upset. She was actually too soft and very light compared to her son.

I meant, nakakapagtakang parehong light-hearted ang mga magulang niya pero napaka-cold-hearted niya. Si Kuya Yexel din ay pareho ng mga magulang nila, siya lang talaga. I wondered what Tita Belle had been doing when she was conceiving him…

I couldn’t seriously take into the sad and upset demeanor of people close to me.

Mahigpit kong hinawakan ang basong inilapag ko sa countertop habang iniisip ko kung magiging magandang ideya ba ang binabalak kong gawin. Sure, it would have never crossed my mind but once wouldn’t hurt. Hindi na rin masamang lubusin ang pagiging mabait sa akin ni Kuya Yoongi, who knew if it wouldn’t be like this the next time.

Isa pa, wala naman akong gagawin bukas…

“Maybe I can drag…” Lumunok ako nang mabilis na nag-angat ng tingin sa akin si Tita Belle kaya napahinto ako. With her pair of beautiful hopeful eyes, she urged me to continue so I did. “I can drag him to the mall tomorrow before he takes me home, I’ll just tell him I n-need to buy something—“

“Aww, you’ll do that, Fraye? Thank you so much! I know you care for your Kuya…” Bago pa man ako makabawi sa pamumutol niya sa akin ay mabilis na niyang inabot ang mga pisngi ko para patakan ng mabilis na halik ang noo ko. “Good night, Fraye! It’ll be better if you go early so you can have all day tomorrow!”

And she was gone even before I realized how my heart clenched painfully and my stomach twirled wildly because of what she said. Nanghihinang sumandal ako sa counter at pinag-isipan kung tama ba ang ginawa ko.

Did I really just agree with Tita Belle that I would take Kuya Yoongi out? Yes, it looked like that to me. I didn’t like how she made me feel like Kuya Yoongi was my actual brother… she was always like that so I could understand. Hindi kami blood-related, pero sa sobrang close ng mga pamilya namin, iisipin ng mga magulang namin na para na kaming magkapatid.

It was always like that, I never minded them making me feel like the two sons of Mins were my brother but it suddenly didn’t feel right anymore.

Hindi ko Kuya si Kuya Yoongi! We were not blood-related! He was just years older than me but we were not blood-related…

It took me so hard to sleep that night. I needed to skim stuff in my phone, listen to soothing music and do things just to get myself to sleep. Nagtagumpay naman ako. Naalala kong mag-aalas-tres na ng madaling araw nang huli kong masulyapan ang orasan at bago ako tuluyang makatulog.

Sa hapag ay abala pareho sina Tita Belle at Tito Thomas sa kung anong usapan tungkol sa negosyo, bukod pa roon ay late na ako bumaba dahil naligo pa ako at nag-ayos kaya patapos na sila nang maabutan ko.

"Son, you take care of Fraye, okay?" Bilin ni Tita Belle kay Kuya Yoongi bago sila umalis. She attempted to kiss him on his cheek but he was quick to lean his head away from her with his infamous lazy blank expression. Natatawang nilapitan na lang ako ni Tita Belle para halikan sa pisngi at tuluyan na silang umalis.

Siya rin ang naunang matapos kumain. Without a word, he left the dining area. Hindi na rin naman ako nagsalita dahil napansin kong nakapantulog pa siya. Baka maliligo na iyon para maka-alis na kami. Naghintay na lang ako sa living room habang nanonood ng cartoon. Nang dumaan si Manang Christy ay nagpaalam na rin ako at nag-promise na babalik.

"Bumalik ka ha, noong huling nagpaalam ka sa akin ay ilang buwan kang hindi nagpakita."

I softly chuckled at the old lady. "I'll be back this time, I promise po." Kumapit ako sa gilid ng suot niyang duster para yumakap sa kaniya. Hinayaan kong i-sway niya kami habang nakapatong ang baba ko sa balikat niya.

"Ang laki-laki mo na, Fraye. Dalaga ka na. Wala pa bang nanliligaw?" pabirong tanong niya, hinahaplos ang likod ko.

"I'm not so exposed to boys po, Manang. I study at a school for girls, and I always stay home so I don't have boys around me. I also don't think Daddy will be fine with it po. Magagalit po iyon panigurado…" natatawang sagot ko.

"Hindi rin matutuwa ang Kuya Yoongi mo, Fraye."

I held back from grimacing when she mentioned Kuya Yoongi and from how I was again reminded that he was a brother to me. "That one also, I'm just surrounded with boys who seriously won't let guys near me. I have two overprotective cousins din po."

"Naykupo, kawawa naman ang mga lalaking magkakagusto sa'yo…"

Leaning away from her, we both laughed with what she said. I wasn't closing doors if anyone would seriously have the guts to show interest in me but I could also see how it wouldn't be so easy.

Kuya Fern and Kuya Key were one thing, but Kuya Yoongi was a different story.

And speaking of, I instantly felt my body tense when I saw him casually, and still, lazily walking down the grand staircase with his dark green pullover, black tight jeans and white rubber shoes. Mukhang basa pa ang buhok pero maayos namang nakasuklay ngayon.

He was a different story. I never had a man in my life, I meant, my life was too full-packed with my studies and him that I never had the time for it. Mas iniisip ko pa noon kung paano ko maiiwasan ang bawat Min party na dadaluhan namin, mas iisipin ko pa kung paano ko pipilitin ang mga magulang ko na iwan na lang ako sa De Asis manor kaysa sa Min mansion.

He actually took a spacious part of my life, that made it no room available for other boys. Hindi ko rin kinakalimutang siya ang dahilan kung bakit nasa school for girls ako.

"Let's go, Julie. Manang, we'll go now. Please take care of the house," aniya. He gently nodded at Manang Christy to show his respect before having his hand shove inside his pocket. "Ako na po ang tatawag ng tauhan para ilabas ang kotse ko."

Nang tumalikod na siya at maglakad patungo sa direksiyon ng hallway na magdadala sa amin sa main door ay nginitian ko muna si Mamang Christy bago ako sumunod. My heart was once again going wild at the acknowledgement of his good strawberry scent, it was cool and sweet this time.

Tahimik lang ako habang may kausap naman siyang tauhan sa phone niya. He just called to order the man to take his car out of the garage and in front of the mansion. Paglabas namin ay nasa baba na nga ang kotse niya at nagkalat sa paligid ang mga tauhan nila.

He silently opened the door of the passenger's seat for me and before he closed the door, he first made sure I wore my seatbelt safe around me. Nang makalabas na ang sasakyan sa lupain ng mga Min ay saka ako nagsalita para sabihin sa kaniya ang simula ng plano ko para sa amin sa araw na ito.

"Kuya, would you like to go out with me?"