Chapter Nine

I seriously didn’t know what to feel first. The bad nostalgia that started to creep within my system upon stepping inside the Min mansion without its grand and beautiful interior that I had somewhere in my mind upon being here just last night or the familiarity of the mansion that also became a part of my childhood, growing up.

Hindi ko na matandaan ang eksaktong panahon na nakatungtong akong muli rito sa Min mansion nang walang okasyon at hindi ito naka-ayos tulad ng nakasanayan ko sa tuwing may mga occasions na ipinagdidiwang ang Min family. Though it was still very vivid in my memories all that happened here.

I could still clearly remember my old and little self running all round the living room, chasing after Milktea and then I would wake up Kuya Yoongi and he would get mad at me. I could also remember being with Kuya Yoongi alone at the living room while he was silently watching his favourite basketball broadcast or his favourite music channel where he always listened to his favourite rapper, Eminem, and while I silently watched along with him, sulking and eating cookies because I wanted to watch cartoons.

Kahit papaano naman ay mahilig ako sa music in general pero siya ang nag-introduce sa akin ng urban and trap music.

I could even remember how he had coped up with me because it was him to whom I was always being left to since Kuya Yexel would be at his school and their parents would be at work. I could also remember sitting with him in front of the grand piano while I ate cookies and he beautifully played with the keys.

Huwag ko lang talaga siyang gagalitin at magkakasundo kami, the problem though was, he was always angry with me, with everything I did.

Hindi magagandang ala-ala ang karamihan sa mga ala-alang mayroon ako rito sa mansiyon na ito pero nakakagaan ng loob isiping kahit papaano ay may mga tahimik kaming moments ni Kuya Yoongi.

I meant, Kuya Yoongi was a natural silent person but I only had in my mind all the bad things he did to me and now that I was reminded of our low-key moments without those bad stuff, it was somehow comforting.

Masyado kasi akong nahulog sa ideyang ang salbahe niya kaya nawala na rin sa isipan kong madalas niya akong ipagtimpla ng gatas noon at ipag-bake ng cookies para sa merienda ko. Madalas din niya akong ipag-prepare ng mga isusuot ko sa tuwing matatapos akong maligo at madalas niyang papuntahin dito ang mga kaibigan niya para sa akin sa tuwing hindi na niya alam ang gagawin kapag umiiyak ako.

Lahat iyon natabunan sa isipan ko ng mga masasamang nagawa niya sa akin noon.

Pagpasok ng Min mansion ay ang malaki at mataas na bulwagan ang unang bumungad sa amin, sa harap ay ang hallway patungo sa mas malalim pang parte ng mansiyon kung nasaan ang living room. Advancing forward until we reached the living room, we were met by a grand staircase and that white grand piano he always played during occasion or whenever he felt like doing so.

May ilang mga kasambahay ang nakakalat sa living room at naglilinis, masyadong abala ang mga ito para pansinsin pa kami.

Meeting one pair of eyes from those maids, I let a small smile stretch into my lips when I felt my heart beat warmly. Gumagaan talaga ang loob ko kapag nakakakita ako ng mga taong kilala ko. I might not know them personally, at least I knew them because they were a part of my childhood. Sa ilang mga ala-alang nasa isipan ko, naroon sila.

I was safe with anything familiar, for as long as I was used to it.

“Dumating ka na pala, Yoongi.” Mula sa isang pasilyo kung saan nagmumula ang kusina ay lumabas doon si Manang Christy na siyang mayordoma ng mga Min. Quickly passing me a glance, she instantly turned her head again back to me. “Fraye! Bata ka! Ikaw pala iyan!”

Kusang gumuhit ang malapad na ngiti sa mga labi ko nang masaya siyang lumapit sa akin at hinawakan ang mga kamay ko saka ako pinasadahan ng tingin. Kung bakit hindi ko naisip na sa tinagal-tagal ko nang pag-i-stay rito sa Min mansion sa tuwing dito ako iniiwan ng mga magulang ko ay napalapit na rin ako kay Manang Christy.

The kind old lady was very nice to me ever since I was a child. Matagal na siyang naninilbihan sa mga Min at halos dito na niya iginugol ang buong buhay niya. She didn’t have a family aside from the Min Family, I knew how the Mins treated her like she was belonged to the family. Wala siyang anak kaya madalas noon, inaako niya ang pag-aalaga sa akin kung minsang wala rin sa bahay si Kuya Yoongi at naiiwan akong mag-isa rito.

“Hindi kita nakita noong gabi ng kaarawan ni Yoongi. Ilang taon na nga ba noong huli kitang nakita?” She sounded so happy and enthusiastic just seeing me again. Lumilitaw ang mga wrinkles sa gilid ng mga mata niya dahil sa pagkakangiti ng malapad, dulot iyon ng katandaan.

Normally, people her age already have grandchildren.

“Ilang buwan pa lang po, Manang Christy…” natatawang sabi ko dahil hindi pa naman nag-iisang taon simula noong hindi na ako iniiwan ng mga magulang ko rito sa Min mansion.

Ngumiti siya ng malapad saka nilingon si Kuya Yoongi na nasa tabi ko kaya napalingon na rin ako. Napanguso ako nang makitang tamad na tamad lang siyang nakatitig sa akin, ni hindi man lang kumurap nang magsalubong ang mga mata namin.

He looked too bored and if I knew, he was already missing his bed just like how I was also missing my bed, though for a different reason.

For sure, na-mi-miss niya ang kama niya dahil sa hitsura niya, tila antok na antok na siya samantalang na-mi-miss ko na ang kama ko dahil gusto ko nang mahiga at makipag-usap sa mga roses ko. Wala nang pasok bukas kaya hindi ko na kailangang magahol sa paggawa ng assignments tuwing gabi.

“Manang Christy, could you ask someone to clean her bedroom? I’ll bring her to the kitchen for her milk while her room is being cleaned.” He softly told Manang Christy but his kitten eyes were still lazily directed at me.

“Ay sige, hijo. Paniguradong maalikabok ang kuwarto niya dahil matagal nang hindi nagagamit.” Tumango si Manang Christy habang marahang hinahaplos ang mga kamay kong hawak pa rin niya. Nang binitawan niya ako ay inilibot niya ang paningin niya para humanap ng kasambahay na puwede niyang utusan na linisin ang kuwarto ko.

Having my own room here in the Min mansion wasn’t a new thing for me. Noon pa lang ay pinagawan na talaga ako nina Tita Bella at Tito Thomas ng kuwarto ko dahil sa dalas ko rito. It was also still very clear to me how they always wanted me because they didn’t have a daughter. Madalas nilang ibigay sa akin iyong mga bagay, laruan o kahit na ano pa noon kahit na hindi ko naman hinihingi dahil ako lang daw ang babae nila.

That was why maybe though our families weren’t even blood-related, they were fine with my parents’ pleas because it involved me.

Nang umalis si Manang Christy sa harap namin ay dumiretso na kami ni Kuya Yoongi sa kusina. And truth be told, he had me sit on a high stool behind the counter while he silently made me milk. Tahimik lang kami pareho habang pinapanood ko siya sa ginagawa niya. He was only in his simple pair of white T-shirt and black short because he had already peeled off his hoodie— that I left back in his car again.

Muli kong hinila ang dulo ng dress ko dahil umaangat talaga sa pagkaka-upo ko. The counter’s stool flat surface felt cold against the skin of my bottom and my back thighs. I would admit that the dress was beautiful but I would promise not to wear this again. Hindi na rin ako kailanman babalik sa Cypher Dos dahil hindi maganda ang unang karanasan ko roon.

I wasn’t still very fine about the fact that I was molested— okay, fine, it didn’t really reach to that point but deep within me, it was like that, that was how I saw and felt about it.

Nag-angat lang ako muli ng tingin nang ma-ilapag na ni Kuya Yoongi sa harap ko ang isang basong may lamang gatas. Seeing the drink, I suddenly missed my Mommy. Siya ang madalas na magtimpla sa akin ng gatas sa tuwing matutulog na ako.

“Would you like some cookies? I can have some heated for you or you want them cool?” tanong niya habang nakatukod na ang mga siko sa countertop, bahagyang nakayuko at matamang nakatitig sa akin.

Napayuko ako, nalaglag sa baso ng gatas ang mga mata ko dahil sa lapit ng mukha niya sa akin. He was so white, his handsome face was glittering in my sight being illuminated by the bright light above. Dahan-dahan akong umiling habang hinayaang malaglag ang ilang hibla ng buhok ko para tumakip sa mukha ko.

I was not sure about my face anymore. Panigurado ang pangit-pangit ko na dahil sa pagkalat ng makeup ko kaninang umiiyak ako. Sa sasakyan ay tinawagan ni Kuya Yoongi si Mang Estacio para ipaalam dito na wala ako sa bahay. Naiwan ko sa sasakyan ang phone at mga gamit ko kaya nag-utos din siya ng magpapadala ng mga iyon dito sa Min mansion bukas.

“I’m f-full… I just ate dinner, remember?” I answered him in a low voice, not really feeling like eating again.

“Yeah, I wanted to eat it with you but you ate your share while in the car.” Binuntunan niya ng mahinang tawa sa dulo ang sinabi niyang iyon.

Slowly raising my head to once again see his face, my heart strangely tightened within my chest that it almost felt like it would leap out. Nakangiti siya at nagpapakita ang buong ngipin niya. His gummy smile was showing. Ang guwapo-guwapo ni Kuya Yoongi, magkahawig sila ni Kuya Yexel pero mas istrikto ang hitsura ni Kuya Yoongi dahil sa hugis ng mga mata niya.

Ang suwerte-suwerte ni Ate Mira kung sakali mang magiging sila ni Kuya Yoongi.

“H-Hindi mo naman sinabi…” sabi ko, napapangusong muli.

“Julie, when a man bought foods for the two of you, it means, he wants to eat with you. Hindi ko alam kung ikatutuwa ko bang hindi mo alam ang bagay na iyon, o ano…” His voice sounded amused, his eyes already missing from the way his lips were stretching and his cheekbones were showing.

Kuya Yoongi was smiling at me. Birthday niya kahapon, gusto ko na talagang isipin na baka tumatanda na siya kaya nagbabago na ang ugali’t pag-iisip niya pero agad ko rin namang naalala iyong pag-uusap nila ni Ate Mira sa phone kanina.

Something good must have happened in between them earlier since they were together for him to have this very calm and good composure when talking to me.

If it was Ate Mira the reason why he was very nice to me now, then I would forever be grateful to her. Kung sana noon pa siya dumating sa buhay ni Kuya Yoongi para noon pa ito nagbago.

“You want to e-eat with me then?” tanong ko sa kaniya nang mapagtanto ko ang sinabi niya.

Unti-unting nawala ang ngiti sa mga labi niya bago siya umayos ng tayo, tumikhim siya saka pinatunog ang leeg niya sa pag-i-stetch. “I was hungry, of course, I’d want to eat with you. Nagmamaneho ako kanina tapos ikaw lang iyon kumakain.”

Napanguso ako dahil na-realize kong napaka-inconsiderate nga noon. Siya iyong bumili ng pagkaing iyon, tapos ni hindi ko man lang siya niyayang kumain, ni hindi ko hinintay na makarating kami rito sa bahay para sabay kaming kumain! Tapos paano nga naman siya makakain kanina kung nagmamaneho siya?

Why, Fraye? Why?

“I’m s-sorry, Kuya…” mahina kong sabi ko. “And thank you about earlier. I was s-so afraid, you know the f-feeling when you’re being touched by s-someone you’re not comfortable with? It felt so bad.” Sobrang hina lang ng boses ko dahil hindi pa rin talaga maganda ang pakiramdam ko sa nangyari. Hindi pa ako nagpapasalamat sa ginawa niya, at para makabawi sa ginawa ko sa sasakyan kanina, nagpasalamat ako para malaman niyang na-appreciate ko iyong ginawa niya kanina.

“And that’ll be the last time a rascal would touch you. Not anymore, Julie, not even a single strand of your hair. Huwag na huwag ka na ring magtangkang bumalik ulit sa lugar na iyon. I’ll have your face on every corners of Cypher Dos just so the bouncers will know not to let you in again. I’ll let the bullshit go for now since you asked me not to fire them but not on the second time. Not on the second time, Julie.” Humalukipkip siya at nang matapos sa pagsasalita ay inginuso niya ang baso ng gatas sa harap ko. “Drink that before it gets cold and go to your room. I still have things to do.”

Watching his straight back as he casually walked out of the kitchen, cupping the glass of milk with both of my palms, I couldn’t help but feel something very unknown and strange deep within my heart. It hurt a little but it also tickled my spine at the same time.

I was seriously whipped for his sudden softness towards me, I was afraid it would only be for this night. Nakakatakot na baka bukas, hindi na siya ganoon. Baka bukas, bumalik na naman siya sa nakakatakot na Kuya Yoongi samantalang nagugustuhan ko na ang ganoong ugali niya.

I was afraid that I was already loving that kind of Kuya Yoongi when it would only be for temporary. I was afraid to get used to something that wasn’t for good. And If it was really because of Ate Mira, I hoped it would for be good already.

Nakakatakot ding isipin na ganoon siya makitungo kay Ate Mira at naambunan lang ako dahil magkasama sila kanina bago kami magkita.

“We were informed last night that your Kuya Yoongi brought you here, so I informed your parents, Fraye. Sinabi ko na kasi kay Elaina na huwag nang mahiya at iwan ka na lang dito tulad nang dati sa tuwing lumalabas sila ng bansa.”

Kinabukasan, ang malamyos na boses ni Tita Bella ang gumising sa akin nang mag-abala siyang magtungo sa kuwarto ko para gisingin ako at makasalo sa hapag. Her touch was gentle as she softly combed my hair and her pair of small eyes was soft when I opened my eyes from sleep. My eyes hadn’t adjusted yet from the deep sleep but I was still able to see her beautiful face and her formal getup.

Kinukusot ko ang mga mata ko habang bumabangon ako at hinayaan kong malaglag sa kandungan ko ang malambot kong comforter. It was colour pink because Tita Belle wanted it. Kahit ang disenyo ng buong kuwarto ko ay kulay pink.

When I was a child, I really loved it though it seemed too much already now that I had grown.

Hinayaan na lang muna niya akong mag-ayos ng sarili ko. I didn’t bother myself slipping off my comfortable pair of pajamas because I was just planning to stay indoor like I used to and probably surf on social media. Hindi ko naka-usap kagabi ang mga roses ko dahil nakatulog na ako kaya baka mamaya ay mag-live ako para maka-usap sila.

Naghilamos lang ako at nagmumog saka kami bumaba ni Tita Bella sa dining room. Doon ko nakita si Tito Thomas na naka-upo sa kabisera, katulad ni Tita Bella ay naka-formal clothes din siya kaya nahulaan ko nang sa opisina na ang tungo nila pagkatapos ng breakfast.

My heart felt like choking me again as it tightened within my chest when my eyes found Kuya Yoongi on his usual spot in the table and was silently eating. Ni hindi siya nag-angat ng tingin nang dumating kami ng Mommy niya pero kitang-kita ko ang seryoso niyang mukha.

I remembered what happened last night. How he treated me last night. For temporary lang ba talaga iyon?

“I seriously don’t get your mother, Fraye. I’m not saying that our Min Agents people aren’t reliable, but it’ll be better if your parents will leave you here with us. Mas safe ka rito…” Pagpapatuloy ni Tita Bella habang tahimik kaming kumakain.

Hindi ko mapigilang paulit-ulit na nakawan si Kuya Yoongi ng tingin dahil naghahanap ako ng hint kung tuluyan na ba siyang nagbago o babalik ulit siya sa dati. The cold man wasn’t throwing me glances ever since I sat and ate with them. Sina Tita Bella at Tito Thomas ang kanina pa nakikipag-usap sa akin pero siya, uma-akto siya na parang hindi niya ako nakikita.

Hindi ko tuloy mapigilang ngumuso kasi naman, ang bait-bait niya sa akin kagabi! Tapos ngayon hindi niya ako pinapansin! Binati na ako ng mga magulang niya ng good morning pero ni isang sulyap man lang mula sa kaniya, wala.

How could he?

“Yoongi, the little girl has been frowning at you. May ginawa ka na naman ba kagabi?”

Nanlaki ang mga mata ko at napatuwid ako ng upo nang marinig ko ang sinabi ni Tito Thomas. Humigpit ang hawak ko sa kutsara’t tinidor ko habang pinapanood ko ang unti-unti niyang paglingon sa Daddy niya bago niya dahan-dahang ibinaling sa akin ang ulo niya.

Okay fine, I had been staring at him but I didn’t know that his father noticed it.

Hardly pressing my lips together so it wouldn’t fall into a frown like what his father said, I let my eyes bravely met his small lazy ones. Mabagal niyang nginunguya ang pagkaing nasa bibig niya at tinitigan ako na para bang tamad na tamad siya. I didn’t know if he had a good sleep but since he was Kuya Yoongi, I was sure, he was just being his lazy self again.

Kaya niyang manatili sa Min mansion buong araw at matulog lang.

Bakit ganyan siya? I was hoping of finally having a nice relationship with him, just like how we were both comfortable and nice to each other last night but when he was like that, it scared me that it would only be in my dreams because what happened last night was just temporary.

Baka nga talagang good mood lang siya kagabi.

“Tss, little girl…” he angrily uttered before loudly letting his silverware fall down his plate. Padabog siyang sumandal sa upuan niya habang inaabot ang baso ng tubig niya at niluluwagan ang necktie niya.

I just noticed that he was wearing a white long sleeves polo with a black tie. He must be wearing black contacts because he wasn’t wearing glasses. Kung minsan, kapag nasa bahay lang siya ay naka-glasses lang siya dahil medyo malabo na ang mga mata niya. Before, I had always seen him doing his assignments at the living room while wearing glasses.

Maayos na nasuklay pababa ang buhok niya kaya bahagyang natatabunan ng ilang tusok ng bangs niya ang mga kilay niya.

“She’s turning eighteen first month next year, Papa. Stop treating her like she doesn’t age.” He sounded so frustrated as his face slowly turned darker. Kahit nang ibinaba niya ang basong ininuman niya pabalik sa mesa ay lumikha ng malakas na ingay dahil sa pagdadabog niya.

Bahagya akong napatalon sa inuupuan ko dahil doon saka ko napagtantong temporary nga lang ang kabaitan niya sa akin kagabi. He was turning back to his old self! At ayaw kong manatili rito sa Min mansion kasama siya kung ganyan na naman ang ugali siya!

“You’re so grumpy, son. Kaya takot na takot sa’yo iyong bata e.” Tito Thomas didn’t even flinch nor got rattled about his son’s sudden harsh behavior. Kahit si Tita Bella ay tila hindi naapektuhan dahil sanay na sanay na sila sa ugali ng anak nila.

Ako lang naman itong hindi masanay-sanay sa sama ng ugali niya.

“Tss, I better go. Have some men to look out for the kid, you don’t want to know where I had picked her up last night.” Tumayo na siya habang inaayos ang mga manggas ng suot niyang long sleeves, pinakadiinan pa niya ang mga salitang 'the kid' na parang may pinupunto samantalang napapayuko na lang ako.

Hindi naman ako natatakot na malaman ng mga magulang niya o ng mga magulang ko kung nasaan ako kagabi. Sure, they might scold me and tell me to hang out to other places than that place but what I didn’t like was he reminded me again of what happened at the Cypher Dos last night.

Ayaw kong malaman ng mga magulang ko ang nangyaring iyon. It was embarrassing and very disgusting. I didn’t even want to remember it. Magbababad talaga sa bathtub mamaya para lang mawala sa katawan ko ang haplos ng lalaking iyon.

“Son, bring Mira here later for dinner! I want to see her again!” Pahabol ni Tita Bella nang umalis na si Kuya Yoongi at pare-pareho na lang namin siyang hinabol ng tingin.

Napunta kay Tita Bella ang tingin ko dahil sa sinabi niya. Nakilala na nga pala ni Ate Mira ang mga magulang ni Kuya Yoongi noong birthday niya. Of course, they would surely like her, who wouldn’t? Ang ganda-ganda at ang bait-bait niya. Kahit na sa iilang pagkakataon lang na nakasama ko siya, masasabi kong madali lang talaga niyang makukuha ang loob nina Tita Bella at Tito Thomas lalo na at hindi rin naman mahirap pakisamahan ang mga ito.

Muling bumalik ang usapan tungkol sa mga magulang ko hanggang sa matapos ang almusal. I was glad that Kuya Yoongi had to attend school today because I was not sure if I would like to be with him here alone with his quickly changing mood.

Before leaving for work, the Min couple told me to take care of myself while I was alone, they also asked a few of their men to look out for me just as what Kuya Yoongi said and told Manang Christy to also take care of me.

Iniisip talaga ng lalaking iyon na lalabas ako gayong wala naman akong maisip na puwede kong puntahan. Not that both Kuya Fern and Kuya Key would randomly invite me to hang out with them, nasa school din ang mga iyon dahil malapit na rin ang summer break nila. Panigurado, busy rin sila sa mga school papers nila.

Nang mapag-isa ay bumalik na lang ako sa kuwarto ko at tinawagan si Mommy. Saglit ko lang siyang naka-usap dahil nasa business gathering sila ni Daddy at isiningit lang talaga ang pagsagot sa tawag ko para kamustahin ako.

They just told me that they might need to stay there for a week but promised me to buy me stuff they knew I would love. Sinabihan din nila akong mag-ingat parati at ganoon din naman ako sa kanila.

The call ended with both ends saying 'I love you'.