Chapter Four

Yes, the night went by as the occasion ended without me seeing Kuya Yoongi all throughout, thing I was very glad about. Lalo na at kasama ko buong magdamag si Kuya Taehyung, isinama niya ako sa mga trip niya kahit na hindi ko na madalas masabayan ang mga iyon.

There was a lot more to Kuya Taehyung than what I already knew. He wasn't just a natural happy person, he was very carefree and very laid-back, as if the world could quake or turn upside-down and he would still stay the same. As if the world could cry a river and he would still shine brightly.

He introduced me to a lot of weird-and maybe very embarrassing things, at least, I was happy.

For the first time, I enjoyed one birthday party of the savage man.

Buong gabi kong nakalimutan si Kuya Yoongi, ni hindi siya pumasok sa isipan ko. I didn't have to feel scared thinking what the savage man was planning to do again because Kuya Taehyung was all enough to send ease to my mind. Gusto ko tuloy magpasalamat kay Kuya Taehyung dahil sa pagpapasaya niya sa akin, kay at Ate Mira para sa pagkuha niya sa atensyon ni Kuya Yoongi buong gabi.

Malungkot akong tumitig sa sasakyan ni Kuya Taehyung na papalayo na sa paningin ko habang nakatayo ako sa harap ng parking space kung nasaan ito kanina. I let my hands meet behind me as my fingers battled with each other, my gut feeling the loss of the most comfortable company I had ever had aside from my parents.

Nagsisi-uwian na ang karamihan sa mga bisita dahil patapos na ang okasiyon at masyado nang malalim ang gabi. Mins were very particular when it came to the time consumed with their every party held, they most likely to end the party at midnight, before or on.

Sina Kuya Jimin at Ate Hannan ang pinakamaagang umalis dahil sa nangyari kanina sa table samantalang si Kuya Namjoon ay pinili na lang na makisalamuha sa mga magulang niya pero maaga ring umalis. I had a glimpse of Kuya Jin earlier with some girls but I lost track already if he chose to stay longer, while I never saw Kuya Hoseok so I didn't know if he attended the party.

Tinanggihan ko si Kuya Taehyung nang mag-alok siya sa aking ihahatid ako dahil hindi ako puwedeng umuwi nang hindi sina Mommy at Daddy ang kasama ko. The cheerful charming man had understood it. Hinatid ko siya sa sasakyan niya hanggang sa maka-alis siya.

Sighing deeply, I couldn't help but let my lips break into a small yet happy smile. Ang suwerte suwerte ng babaeng mamahalin ni Kuya Taehyung. Sana kung mahahanap man siya agad nito, sana ay makilala ko ito dahil gusto kong magpasalamat rito para sa pag-aalaga at pagmamahal na ibibigay nito kay Kuya Taehyung.

I only wanted the best for one of my most favourite persons in this world.

Bumalik din ako kaagad sa loob ng Min mansion para hanapin ang mga magulang ko dahil gusto ko na rin umuwi. I still had school the next day. Kahit naman tapos na ang finals namin at puro clearances na lang ang mga pinagkaka-abalahan naming mga estudyante ay kailangan ko pa ring pumasok.

My ledger was still very neat and I needed it signed by my teachers. Iyon pa man din ang kailangan ko para makapag-cross over ako sa grade eleven. That ledger did not only cost my grades, also my effort and my time.

Seeing the only few remaining visitors around the wide hall somehow made me calm since Kuya Taehyung wasn't around me anymore to keep me protection from the people's eyes. Abala rin naman sila sa kani-kanilang mga ginagawa, some were probably bidding good-byes with each other while some were still enjoying the deepness of the night.

I silently strode along the wide hallway, my eyes trying to find the figures of my parents in the sea of people. Nadaanan na ng mga mata ko sina Tito Luigi at Tito Santi na nasa kani-kanilang mga pamilya, no hint of both Kuya Fern and Kuya Key so assumed they already left. I even felt my cheeks heat up thinking about the beautiful girl brought by Kuya Key, I just hoped he brought her back home safe.

My heart started pounding so hard, hurting my chest when my eyes failed to see the ones I was looking for. Madalas mangyari ang ganito, pero dahil masyado akong nadala sa sayang nararamdaman ko kanina ay nakalimutan kong posibleng magkaroon ng biglaang lakad ang mga magulang ko.

Often times, they would leave the party early for a sudden call and then leave me in the hands of Kuya Yoongi. I hated it, one of the things I hated in every Min's party. At sana hindi ganoon, sana hindi pa umuuwi ang mga magulang ko.

Mabilis kong hinanap sa clutch na hawak ko ang phone ko para tawagan sina Mommy at Daddy pero naunahan na nila ako. They had left a message to me and just, just they again broke my heart when I read their text.

Mommy:
sweat pea

be a good girl and don't give your Kuya Yoongi a hard time

we need to go early

see you at home

enjoy the party

we love you ♥

Ngumuso ako para pigilan ang panginginig ng mga labi ko saka mabilis na pumikit-pikit para naman itaboy ang mga luhang nagsisimulang mamuo sa mga mata ko. I needed to understand that my parents were very clueless and just trusted so much that savage man.

Pinagsisihan ko tuloy na hindi ako pumayag na magpahatid kay Kuya Taehyung kanina, nasa bahay na sana ako ngayon at hindi na kailangan pang makaharap si Kuya Yoongi. At siguro, siguro ibinigay lang sa akin si Kuya Taehyung para paunang consolation sa akin dahil hindi ko pa rin talaga matatakasan si Kuya Yoongi.

It was like I could run and run and run but at the end, it was still him who I would end up to.

"I suppose you had fun with Taehyung. Everyone was talking about the two of you."

I mentally scolded the traffic light for being in a red light just before Kuya Yoongi's car could pass the crossing so we were caught up with the halt. I just wanted to be home immediately and out of his car, out of his sight.

"I did..." I answered him in a low voice, lamely showing him how I didn't want to talk to him.

Sanay na sanay na akong maupo rito sa passenger's seat ng kotse niya na kilalang-kilala ko na ang bango ng sasakyan niya. For as much as I hated the man's company, the sweet scent of strawberry was making it up for him. Ni ayaw ko siyang lingunin din mas nakaka-aliw ang mga nadadaanan ng mga mata ko sa labas ng bintana kaysa ang makita ang walang emosyon niyang mukha.

It would only stress me how he was nonchalant to all this.

Hindi ko alam kung naramdaman ba niyang ayaw kong makipag-usap kaya hindi na siya muli pang nagsalita.

It wasn't impossible to have a dead atmosphere when with Kuya Yoongi. Sa tuwing magkasama kami ay wala talaga siyang imik parati bukod sa mga pasimple niyang pananaway sa bawat kilos ko. We would only have a conversation through our every argument, and throwing of banters.

Kilalang-kilala ko na siya, sa totoo lang. I could sit on a chair and enumerate all the things I knew about him, even little things just like how he could stay in one place without moving and talking for hours.

Na-antala lang ang tahimik kong pagmamasid sa kalsada sa labas ng bintana nang lumiko ang sasakyan salungat sa daan patungo sa De Asis Land kaya mabilis kong nilingon si Kuya Yoongi.

I pressed my lips together when I saw him quickly side-glance at me without moving his head, his left arm anchored on the window while his white and long fingers played with his lower lip... it was very thin and bloody. I could faintly remember how he habitually licked his lower lip, he would sometimes poke the side of his lips with the tip of his tongue or push his inner cheek.

They were a mannerism of him I had come to get used to...

I mentally shook my head as I kicked out of my mind the thought of him doing those. Guwapo si Kuya Yoongi pero hindi ko mahanap ang reason para isipin ko iyon.

"K-Kuya, gusto ko nang umuwi..." I hesitantly told him, my hands on top of my lap started fidgeting with my pouch. Nagtitiis na lang akong naka-upo sa passenger's seat ng kotse niya, ang pinakagusto ko na lang ay makarating na sa bahay para hindi ko na kailangan pang maramdaman ang takot at bigat sa puso ko dahil lang kasama ko na naman siya.

He was the last person I would ever want to be with in the same room. He might refuse to accept that, I knew he knew that.

Hindi ko naman itinatago sa kaniya ang disguto ko sa presensiya niya. Ganoon din naman siya sa akin kaya alam niya. We just so hated each other I was confused as to why we needed to exist into each other's life. Kung nagkaroon lang ako ng pagkakataong i-filter ang mga taong pumasok sa buhay ko, hinding-hindi siya kasama sa mga iyon.

He wouldn't even be in the list.

"I need a smoke," he lowly answered, finally giving me a look before quickly turning his head to look back at the road ahead.

"Then you c-can smoke after you t-take me home..." Pinilit kong huwag pagsalubungin ang mga kilay ko dahil hindi niya iyon magugustuhan.

Every time I would go against him, he would always tell me how feisty and bad of a young girl I was. He would always see me as a not so innocent girl just because I fought back at him. He would see me as a bad girl when in fact, he was just too bad for me, he was just too dangerous for me and too savage for me. That it always took me so much bravery and courage to survive a time with him.

Hindi niya iyon maiintindihan dahil salbahe siya at kailanman, hindi niya inintindi ang nararamdaman ko.

Somehow, I thanked God that Kuya Yoongi was the youngest son of the Mins, because I would seriously feel bad for his sister if he ever had one.

"You know the occasion today, right?" tanong niya, hindi na ako muling nilingon pero ang paglambot ng tono ng boses niya ang bahagyang nagpagaan ng loob ko.

It wasn't an impact but more likely a caved emotion I failed to grasp for it already grew every time he would go soft to me. Sometimes, his eyes did, sometimes the tone of his voice did which obviously he tried so hard to hide.

Minsan nga naiisip ko, just why was he so bad to me? Was it because he just so hated me, did I upset him every time or he just didn't have a sister to lend his abusive brotherly affection? Baka naman naiinis siya dahil sa kaniya ako naiiwan noong bata pa ako?

Seriously, if that was the case, knowing how mean he was, he could have bluntly told my parents that he didn't want to take good care of me but he didn't! Instead, kung ano-anong ginagawa niya sa akin. Hindi naman niya itinatago sa mga magulang namin na talagang ayaw niya sa akin, pero iba ang iniisip ng mga iyon.

They just thought he was a naturally bad tempered guy who didn't like kids, and was trying to do them a favour.

Kung sana lang din noon pa ako siniseryoso ng mga magulang namin.

"It's my birthday. I just want a smoke and you can't even give me that?" Tumabang ang tono ng boses niya dahil sa pananahimik ko kaya hindi ko magawang iiwas ang tingin ko sa kaniya.

"I... I just really w-wanna go ho-"

"I bet you didn't even bring any present for me. You parents might have brought one but it doesn't count. Where's your present for me?"

I lightly gasped when he lazily turned his head to me, his kitten eyes sleepily met my unfocused and shocked ones as I flinched in my seat. Ang bahagyang pagkakabinat ng mga maninipis niyang mga labi para sa isang maliit na ngisi ang nagpakaba ng sobra sa akin.

When he was like that, I knew, he was in his mischievous self.

"Like the old times, Julie? Sasabihin mo na naman bang napilitan ka lang na dumalo sa birthday ko? We've known each other for years, and you're still not learning..."

"K-Kuya..." Nabitawan ko ang pouch nasa lap ko saka mahigpit na napahawak sa seatbelt nang maramdaman ko ang pagbilis ng takbo ng sasakyan, ang mga mata ko ay natuon sa harap para lang makita ang bawat sasakyang nauunahan namin.

He was overtaking every car and going rapid, the speedometer showing the speed.

"Kuya! Slow down! Please, please!" I tightly closed my eyes because of fear.

"Bullshit! This night's supposed to be for me! And you really have the tendency to ruin it!" He angrily growled, loudly hitting the steering wheel just as I felt the car went even faster.

Nanatili akong nakapikit, ramdam ko ang mabilis na pagtataas-baba ng mga balikat ko. Ni hindi ko nalamayang umiiyak na pala ako dahil mas nangingibabaw ang takot na nararamdaman ko. I hated Kuya Yoongi, but I hated to anger him more.

Kahit nang maramdaman ko ang pagbagal at ang unti-unting pagtigil ng sasakyan ay hindi pa rin ako makalma. I sobbed pathetically as I let my gloved palms finally catch my tear-stained face. I again flinched in my seat when I heard the loud bang of the door.

Mukhang lumabas siya at nagpapasalamat ako roon dahil hindi ko yata kakayanin kung mananatili pa siya sa loob ng sasakyan. He scared me too much, I was afraid I would choke in my own breath.

Ilang minuto rin akong umiyak. Panigradong kumalat na ang makeup ko, sumasakit na rin ang mga mata ko dahil may suot akong contact lens.

I took my gloves off before I lamely wiped my tears off my face, slowly bringing my face to look out of the car. Sumalubong sa akin ang malawak at mahabang highway kung nasaan ang mabilis na daloy ng mga sasakyan, sa gilid ay ang bridge railing kaya nahulaan kong nasa kalagitnaan kami ng bridge road. I found Kuya Yoongi standing as he leaned on the railing, his broad back was on me as white smoke ghosted over his shoulder.

He was clearly smoking while staring at the darkness in front of him. He looked too magnificent with his all white suit attire on that part of the bridge railing. He had pale skin so the moon beautifully shone against his skin, making him a sight to see in the middle of the night.

Kahit sinong makakakita sa kaniya ay handang gugulin ang buong gabi para lang titigan siya. He had bad vices, smoking was one of it, but people would seriously understand that. He would still look perfect for them because he was such a beautiful human being. He could have been like that too in my eyes, only if he hadn't showed me his inner devil.

It was like he had his inner devil exclusively showed to me.

Why was he so mean to me, seriously?

Yes, I was afraid of him but I had also been trying to understand him. Kahit na hindi ko talaga alam kung saan nagmumula ang galit niya sa akin, sinusubukan ko pa rin madalas na makisama sa kaniya dahil noon ko pang tinanggap na parte na siya ng buhay ko.

My childhood life could actually define with him with it, also my teenage life.

Bumuntong-hininga ako saka umayos ng upo, may ilan pa ring mga sinok ang kumakawala sa lalamunan ko. Napagpasyahan kong alisin na rin ang contact lens ko at ibinalik sa lalagyan nito. I used the sun visor mirror to check for my face, and I almost swore I looked so ugly.

My dark smoke eyeshadow smudged and my tears colored with my mascara, it looked so messy and disgusting. Naisip kong gabi na at pauwi na rin kami kaya hindi na ako nag-ayos, nanahimik na lang ako hanggang sa ma-isipan ni Kuya Yoongi ang bumalik. And when he did, I took all the courage and shame to blurt out the words that could somehow make it up for him.

He was right, it was his birthday. Yes, I hated him but there should be a timeout for that. Wala nga akong regalo sa kaniya at ni wala akong inambag na kahit letter man lang sa regalo sa kaniya ng mga magulang ko tapos ginalit ko pa siya.

Hindi na ako magtataka kung itong araw man ang ituturing niyang pinaka-worst birthday niya.

"I... I'm s-sorry, K-Kuya Yoongi..." My voice came out husky because of crying, it hurt when I spoke.

Sumandal siya sa backrest ng driver's seat saka ako tamad na nilingon. His pair of deep kitten eyes lazily blinked at my apologetic ones, his tongue dangerously poking out at the corners of his lips again and his smell filled the air inside the car.

Ang kaninang matamis na amoy ng strawberry ay nahaluan na ng amoy ng sigarilyo, something menthol and cool. His favourite...

"I was thinking of not taking you home as a punishment for what you did, but..." His lips barely moved as he spoke but the natural coldness and deepness of it was never gone.

Lumunok ako, kapag parusa na ang pinag-uusapan ay alam na alam ko na ang kahihinantan ko.

"But it's my birthday, ayaw kong mas sirain pa ang gabing ito. I want to end this night the way I was planning too." With that being said, he sat properly and started the engine.

Hindi na ako umimik pa. I mentally thanked God when the car took a u-turn that meant we would be going home already. And when I already saw the familiar fortress of the De Asis Land, I tried so hard not to show him how happy I was. Tahimik ko na lang na hinintay na tuluyang makarating ang sasakyan sa mismong harap ng De Asis Manor, masyado pang malayo ang kinatatayuan ng manor pero hindi na ako mapakali. Kahit ang pagbubukas ng dalawang automated gate ay tila napakabagal para sa akin.

I couldn't hope not to see him again. I didn't hate how our families were closest of friends but I hoped, we weren't very attached to them so I would have a reason not to welcome him in my life anymore, just so he would stay away from me and I would live in peace, but no, it wasn't like that.

"I won't be seeing you again in the meantime but Pagoda Blue will still be there. Tigilan mo na ang pagpapalayas sa kanila dahil hindi sila susunod sa'yo. I'm their boss, and you're just their assignment."

Pagoda Blue was a Min Agents team he assigned to look out for me since he couldn't always be around me.

Sa school ay permitted ang mga bodyguards na makapasok ang hanggang sa labas ng mga classroom. It wasn't only me who had bodyguards. May schoolmate akong anak ng senador kaya limang bodyguards ang parating nakasunod sa kaniya, it was worst than my three bodyguards. May ilan namang isa lang ang bodyguards at may ilang katulad ko ay hindi rin maiwasang takasan ang mga iyon.

Simula yata nang tumuntong ako sa Maria Cresencia Institute, an exclusive school for girls, ay kasama ko na ang Pagoda Blue. Ang head of security nga nilang si Totoro ay close na kay Manong Estacio na siyang driver ko.

Totoro was not his real name. In security business, they were given codenames for some unknown reason. Si Kuya Yoongi ang nagbigay sa kanila ng team name at codenames since special assignment daw nila ang pagbabantay sa akin. They were not allowed to talk to me, of course but I didn't have friends so they had to keep up with me.

"I'm already s-seventeen, Kuya Yoongi. I don't need men to look out-"

"Bullshit, seventeen! Don't remind me."

Tulad ng madalas mangyari, nanahimik na lang ako at hindi na umangal pa. Hindi rin naman masusunod ang gusto ko dahil ang gusto pa rin niya ang masusunod.

Nang huminto ang sasakyan niya sa harap ng De Asis Manor ay may mga guards agad ang lumapit sa amin, also they were under Min Agents since our family was secured with Min Agents guards.

They opened the door of the passenger's seat for me.

Uttering a soft thanks, I hopped out of the car before running towards the main door though my feet were aching because of my heels. Hindi na ako nag-abala pang lingunin ang sasakyan niya, inviting him was not a good idea so I just ran directly towards my room.

Closing the door behind me, I heaved a deep a sigh. The next time there would be a Min's party, I would make sure to make a plan so that my parents couldn't drag me again. I seriously needed a long time break from Kuya Yoongi.

I would give everything just to have it.