⚠️ mild sexual tension ⚠️

- Hannan ♥

🌹🌹🌹

Chapter One

With my pair of silver dangling earrings that slightly hitting the skin of my bare shoulders, midnight blue body-hugging asymmetric dress that only edged at the above of my knees and a pair of silver glass heels, my long curly hair was done nicely and my hands were clothed with silver lacy gloves, I frowned at my reflection on the life-sized mirror before looking at my mother's gorgeous reflection.

She knew too well that none of this was favouring me at all, and I couldn't believe why I was again being forced against my will.

Naka-upo siya sa kama ko kung nasaan nagkalat ang ilang bukas na jewelry boxes. Natatawang umiling siya habang ikinakabit ang isang pares ng black diamond earring sa kanang tainga niya, katulad ko ay may suot din siyang lacy gloves.

"You've really made it a habit to make us force you to every Min's party. Sweet pea, it's your Kuya Yoongi's birthday. C'mon, don't do this to him," malambing na sabi sa akin ni Mommy, dinampot ang isa pang pares ng diamond para naman ikabit sa kaliwang tainga niya.

It was easy for her to say that because well, she was still very clueless about the man's assaults to me. They were still very clueless. They didn't try to understand me or even try to ask the man because they all trusted him!

Pinipilit ko namang pakisamahan si Kuya Yoongi, pinipilit kong huwag siyang galitin o kahit inisin man lang siya sa tuwing nasa Min mansion ako pero ikinagagalit na niya kahit na maliit na bagay lang na nagagawa ko. The man just didn't favour my very existence, he just didn't like me at all and neither I did!

I would just accidentally bark at him and he would go spanking me like a father would do. I would just spill little amount of cookie crumbs on the coffee table and he would spank me. I would just unconsciously say something offensive about his favourite basketball broadcast and he would spank me. I would just roll my eyes at him! And he would spank me! He always spanked me!

I thought it was just like that. That was when I was still very young and so innocent. Dahil habang lumalaki ako ay nag-iiba ang parusang ibinibigay niya sa akin. Ayaw kong magpaka-sexual pero hindi ko mapigilang isipin na iyong mga pinaggagawa niya sa akin ay… pangha-harass na sa akin bilang babae. At hindi ko gusto iyon! Pero hindi ko rin magawang magsumbong!

"You know I hate him, Mommy! We'll never get along like ya'll have been trying to work out! Salbahe siya, Mommy!" Kulang na lang ay maglupasay ako sa sahig para makuha ni Mommy ang point ko. At pilitin ko man ang sarili kong magsumbong sa mga parents namin ay hindi ko magawa dahil alam ko namang hindi sila maniniwala sa akin, paniniwalaan pa rin nila ang salbaheng lalaking iyon.

For them, it was just my immature and bratty side. I was not a brat! I was actually very nice.

"I'll tell D-Daddy and Tito Thomas! I'll t-tell them!" I pathetically pushed myself to his bed's headboard, feeling my bottom aching and burning against the soft mattress because of his spankings and fearing to be anywhere near him again.

Ibinaba ko ang dulo ng suot kong black flowing dress para takpan ang mga hita kong dikit na dikit saka lumipad ang mga mata ko sa gilid kung nasaan ang floral underwear ko bago ako nag-angat ng tingin sa kaniya, may mga sinok na kumakawala sa lalamunan ko pero natuyo na sa pisngi ko ang mga luha ko.

Nameywang siya sa dulo ng kama at tamad akong tinitigan na para bang wala siyang ginawang masama sa akin kani-kanina lang. Magulo ang buhok niya dahil kagigising niya lang at na-istorbo ko siya kaya galit na galit na naman siya sa akin.

I was running down the hallway that happened to be just across the door of his room, the heels of my flat shoes loudly digging against the marbled floor. Hindi ko naman alam na natutulog pala siya, hinahabol ko lang naman si Milktea dahil kailangan na niyang kumain.

My eyes quivered under his bored and cold ones before staring down at his hips, my cheeks burned at the sight of the obvious lump in between his thighs through his rose colored silky pajama bottom, my throat felt like choking me and my heart drumming so wild inside.

Heto na naman siya, heto na naman ang mga kabastusan niya.

Of course, I knew! I didn't live my whole teen life just sulking and hiding inside the walls of the De Asis Manor! I had my life outside, I had my student life and my teen life within the millennial society! Kaya alam ko kung anong nangyayari sa kaniya, lalo na at hindi na rin naman ito bago sa aming dalawa.

"What? You'll tell them I kissed your butt? Why don't you tell them how my palm felt so nice against your butt's skin? Samahan kita?" His voice was full of mock and sarcasm but his kitten eyes remained staring coldly at me.

Pala-isipan talaga sa akin kung paano niya nagagawang magbitaw ng mga intense at vigorous words kalakip ang walang ekspresiyong mga mata.

I gritted my teeth as I forced a lump from resounding from down my throat, the last thing I would want to happen right now was to anger him even more and get spanked again. At hindi pa rin ako nakaka-get over kung paanong hinalikan nga niya ang pisngi ng puwet ko kanina! Ito ang unang beses na ginawa niya iyon! Dati naman ay pinagbibilang lang niya ako habang pinapalo!

I didn't know anymore! I didn't know why he was doing this to me!

"L-Lumabas ka na muna. I'm going to wear my u-underwear." Nag-iwas ako ng tingin dahil ayaw kong ipakita sa kaniya ang talunan kong mukha.

I knew! That sounded so weird and malicious in so many levels! It felt to me like we just had—! I might had known things like that but I didn't feel like blurting it vulgarly, not even in my mind!

Pagak siyang natawa kaya bumalik sa kaniya ang mga mata ko. The savage man was laughing with his bored kitten eyes, they went missing from how his cheekbones rose up high and stretched, his gummy smile was bleeding my eyes.

Nope! Ang sarap dukutin ng mga mata niya at ipakain kay Milktea tutal ay hindi naman niya ginagamit ng tama. On the second thought, hindi iyon kakainin ni Milktea dahil kapareho niya ang lalaking ito. Tulugin din iyon at baka tuluyan na siyang hindi magising sa kakatulog, plus they seemed to hate each other.

"I've seen that already, so what's to be shy about? Mag-underwear ka na at lumabas na. Matutulog pa ako."

Nagsalubong ang mga kilay ko sa sinabi niya. "Bastos ka talaga! I need privacy!" Hindi ko na talaga napigilang singhalan siya.

Mas matanda siya sa akin pero nakaka-inis na siya!

"Feisty, feisty little Julie. You're becoming very fierce as you grow old, I'm afraid I couldn't hold you down anymore." Nagtaas siya ng kilay sa akin saka ngumisi. "Anyway, I accidentally tore that panty. You have underwear inside my walk-in closet, feel free to choose."

My chest hurt with how my heart leaped wildly inside but my mind was quick to scold my heart, it needed a lecture. How dared it react that way towards the cold and savage man?

That memory wasn't so nice as it sounded, I knew.

It was one of my most hateful encounters with Kuya Yoongi, it was one of my hateful memories as a fourteen-year old girl, I was still in my puberty stage being assaulted by a twenty-year old guy! At paano ko pa masasabi sa mga magulang namin ang lahat kung umabot na ito sa puntong hindi na lang basta pamamalo ang ginagawa sa akin ni Kuya Yoongi?

It would be very embarrassing to tell them how the savage man always assaulted my vulnerable femininity. It would be very humiliating to break to them how the older guy found me a perfect release for his sexual puberty and maturity.

Yes, I was very clueless before.

Akala ko noong bata pa ako ay nasobrahan lang siya sa pagiging disiplinado na kahit maliliit na galaw ko ay kinakagalit niya na, pero dahil millennial ako ay nagkaroon na ako ng mga sarili kong observation at conclusion sa mga pinaggagawa niya sa akin… lalo na nang lumalampas na siya sa limit.

"No! No, Kuya Yoongi! I won't talk to him again! Please!" Pinagdikit ko ang mga palad ko na para bang nanalangin sa kaniya saka hinayaang maglandas ang mga luha ko dahil sa galit na sumasalamin sa mga mata niya.

I knew, I was going to get spanked again but I was still hoping he would have mercy on me, that he would consider this time because I was pleading.

"I thought we were done with this, Julie? Sinabi ko na sa'yong kapag nandito ka sa Min Mansion, dito ka lang sa bahay at hindi ka lalabas!" galit niyang sigaw at halos panlambutan ako ng mga tuhod nang makita kong kinakalas na niya ang sinturon niya.

He never spanked me with belts or any other solid stuff other than his hands, and I believed this wouldn't be the first time.

I hoped so!

"I was ju-just helping Manang Christy with the ta-trash and-and then I saw him! Babalik din naman ako ka-kaso his mother invited me into their hou—" Nanlaki ang mga mata ko nang mabilis siyang nakalapit sa akin at kinain na lang ng mga hikbi ko ang mga natitira pang sasabihin ko. "K-Kuya…"

Wala akong nagawa nang malakas niya akong hinila at hinagis padapa sa kama. Isinubsob ko ang mukha ko sa malambot na comforter at doon ibinuhos ang mga luha't hikbi ko nang maramdaman kong ang buong bigat niya sa likod ko.

He managed to harshly lift my dress up my hips, the coldness of the room immediately creeping in between and the skin of my thighs. His full weight was on me, crashing my little and soft body down the bed and his hot breath immediately going its way to the skin of my neck as mixture of both strawberry and menthol cigarette from him instantly soothed my nose.

He smoked! And he smelled like strawberry again!

"Kuya Yoongi, please," I uttered, lost and in so much resignation. Ramdam na ramdam ko ang kung anong bagay na iyon na nasa pagitan ng mga hita ko, it was hard and making my skin suddenly very sensitive.

It was the thing in between his thigh, freed from his pants but still hidden inside his underwear.

I knew!

My breath hitched when I felt him slowly move on top of me, making me curl my toes in both breath-hitching and heart-hammering sensation. My fingers pathetically curling against the sheets when I felt his hard body against my back, his skin felt hot against mine.

This was so sexually wrong and assaulting! And I couldn't help but just free sobs from my throat, my heart beating so fast in both fear and other unknown emotions.

"The rascal was holding your back, his arm was almost brushing with yours and his ugly face was in a maniac grin, you don't how I was just barely holding myself not to break his neck for even daring to touch you." Idiniin niya pa ang sarili niya sa akin habang mabagal na gumagalaw na nagpapikit sa akin, mas lumakas ang pang-amoy ng sigarilyo nang magsalita siya.

This felt so damn erotic and wrong in so many levels but my heart leaped wildly again with how it became very familiar and used to all of his sexual or just physical assaults to me.

He needed to stop before I let inappropriate sound come out of my mouth.

"I'll fvcking ask Tito Nigel to send that family out of that land, out of this village for good! Gagawin ko iyon sa mga pamilya ng bawat lalaking mangangahas na lumapit sa'yo rito. There's a reason why I asked your parents to enroll you to a school exclusively for girls! Bullshit, right?!"

That wasn't a news for me.

Alam kong siya ang dahilan kung bakit ako nasa school for girls, pero ang buong akala ko ay gusto niya lang na asarin ako at patunayan sa aking hindi lang ako ang hawak niya sa leeg, kung hindi maging ang mga magulang ko.

"Kuya Y-Yoongi, you're squ-squeezing me…" Lakas-loob kong ibinuka ang bibig ko kahit na nilulukob pa rin ng takot ang dibdib ko. I just couldn't directly tell him how it felt so erotic to have him on top of me, with his hard thing casually brushing my bottom!

Kung hindi lang dahil sa mga damit namin ay puwede ko nang masabi na…

No, I couldn't say it! Kainis! I was not that vulgar about that thing!

"No, hindi pa ako nag-uumpisa sa parusa ko sa'yo, Julie. A punishment for a bad girl, fair enough, right?" He breathed on my neck, menthol flavoured cigarette again.

"But I just got no other choice, K-kuya. It would be too rude if I re-refused his mother—"

I tightly shut my eyes close when I felt his warm hands on the skin at both sides of my waist, trailing tingling touches and giving me light pinches.

"That's why they'll also get their part of the punishment. As for now, your punishment first… hm."

And that was just one of his overboarded—sexual assaults to my fifteen-year old self, fortunately, hindi na iyon nasundan pa ng mas malala pa dahil ngayong seventeen na ako ay bumalik na lang sa pasimpleng palo sa puwet ang mga parusa niya sa akin. Isa pa, hindi na ako madalas magtungo sa bahay nila dahil kaya ko nang mag-isa rito sa De Asis Manor.

To say that his assault was becoming harsher and more sexual as I grew up would sound so wrong, and I might have let him do all those to me but deep inside me, I was still waiting for the end of it.

Naghihintay pa rin ako kung kailan niya ititigil ang mga pinaggagawa niya sa akin at habang ginagawa ko iyon, itinatatak ko sa isipan kong hindi ako puwedeng mahulog sa kaniya.

The man would always stay as the savage cold man of my nightmare. Dinungisan na niya ang sana ay magandang childhood life ko at dinumihan ang murang isipan ko. At hindi ko gugustuhing mag-settle sa isang katulad niya.

He wasn't someone who was worth loving. Of course, I would forever hate the man.

"You don't hate him, Fraye. You actually need the boy, you're just too in denial to admit it. He was your babysitter, remember?"

My mind that was travelling back to the past got pulled back to its place when I heard the soft voice of my mother. I again stared at her beautiful and graceful reflection on the mirror who was now done with her jewelries.

She looked so stunning in her simple silver round neck long dress, sleeves cut short at her shoulders and the hips part showing so nicely the perfect curves of her body as the long tail flowed spread on the ground, and her black hair was tied in a low bun. They said she had sharp and strong features, unang tingin ay mukhang hindi madaling pakisamahan pero kabaliktaran iyon ng totoong ugali ni Mommy. She was actually very nice and soft-spoken.

Sa kaniya ako nagmana ng ugali. Sa hitsura ay madalas sabihin ng mga tao na pinaghatian ako ng mga magulang ko.

"Because I didn't have a choice, Mommy. Kung kaya ko lang mag-stay rito sa bahay noon kapag wala kayo, I could've settled with that. He's the man of my—"

"He's the man of your nightmares, sweet pea," ani Mommy sa natatawang tinig, tulad ng dati ay hindi pa rin talaga nila siniseryoso ang mga reklamo ko sa lalaking iyon.

Imbis na ipagpilitan pa ang gusto ko ay bumuntong-hininga na lang ako saka muling ibinalik sa repleksiyon ko ang mga mata ko. My eyes had gray contacts to match with my accessories and my silver pouch. Hindi naman malabo ang mga mata ko, pampaganda lang kaya ako nagsusuot. A pair of gray contacts was my favourite, aside from they didn't look so eye-catching to others, they seemed normal and natural.

Pagbaba namin ni Mommy ng staircase ay naghihintay na si Daddy sa living room, tuwid siyang nakatayo sa dulo ng hagdan at nasa likod niya ang long couch na nakaharap sa center table, naroon ang mini-living room ng De Asis Manor.

In his neat pair of white tuxedo above a black long sleeves with a black bowtie, white slacks and black shiny shoes, my father stood handsomely and elegantly as if a Prince waiting for his princess, his princesses I might correct. A smile instantly found his lips, hands behind him and hair perfectly brushed up when he raised his gaze to see us, his princesses.

Well, that was my very handsome father.

Pinigilan ko ang mapahagikgik at ngumiti na lang ng malapad, nanatili sa likod ni Mommy para bigyan silang dalawa ng pagkakataong maglambingan. Pupurihin ko na sana ang kaguwapuhan ni Daddy nang madako ang mga mata ko sa bagay na nasa gilid ng mga sapatos ni Daddy, kulay itim iyon at mabalahibo.

Crouching lazily on top of a round furry mat at the floor, Milktea met my eyes with his pair of golden eyes.

"Promise me you'll set aside business this time around, Serge." Narinig kong sabi ni Mommy bago ako tuluyang yumuko para abutin si Milktea.

"It's hard when we're surrounded with people in field, El, but I'll try."

Hindi ko na pinakinggan pa ang usapan nila dahil itinoon ko na ang buo kong atensyon kay Milktea pero bago iyon ay nakita ko pa mula sa gilid ng mga mata ko ang pag-alis nina Mommy para lumabas na ng bahay.

Nasa labas na ang sasakyang maghahatid sa amin sa Min Mansion at paniguradong naroon na rin si Mang Tadeo na siyang family driver namin.

I hugged Milktea's fluffy and soft body to my chest, slowly caressing his black thick fur. My nose smelled his good scent, kaninang umaga ay dinala ko siya sa grooming house niya dahil ilang araw na siyang hindi napapaliguan, last week was a hell of a week for me because of school. Nasugatan kasi ako ng mahabang kuko niya kagabi kaya naisipan kong ipa-groom na siya, mabuti na lang at maliit na sugat sa braso lang ang mayroon ako.

"You'll behave here, okay? The last time I brought you to the Min mansion, I got assaulted by the savage man again. Uh-hm…" Umiling-iling ako sa pusang nakatitig lang sa akin at mukhang walang paki-alam sa mga pinagsasabi ko. "You should sleep early… on the second thought, you've been sleeping all day. Nagising ka lang yata dahil aalis kami."

Bumuntong-hininga ako, iniisip na simula nang ibigay sa akin ni Kuya Yexel ang pusang ito five years ago as a birthday gift, madalas ko nang mapansin ang mga habits nito, na talaga namang nakikita ko lang mula sa isang tao.

This Persian breed cat was named Milktea by Kuya Yexel himself, but the habit of the cat all spoke very… very Kuya Yoongi. Its sleeping habits, the lack of reaction to everything or even everyone and how the cat behaved, all Kuya Yoongi.

Ironic, kasi hindi gusto ni Kuya Yoongi si Milktea and vice versa.