c h a p t e r 2

The house is quiet.

A nice quiet.

A quiet that indicates Mom isn't home.

I close my eyes, and smile thinking about the conversation I had with Abi a couple hours ago.

She isn't as intimidating, nor anything I once thought her to be. She's nice, lively, and very funny.

Even if she thinks I'm Danny Sanderson. It's absolutely okay because talking to her means a lot, and even if it means having to lie about who I am. Then, it's fine.

I get up from my bed and play a couple hours of Halo, then I go to the kitchen to pour some milk and cereal in a bowl, and eat it.

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I wake up to the banging of pots and pans.

Sighing miserably, and rubbing my eyes to wake myself up. I sit up and think to myself, What the hell is Mom doing now?

There isn't no telling what Mom may have been doing.

I walk to the kitchen to find her head in the pantry. She's mumbling and muttering all types of things.

"Mom?" I say, rubbing my eye.

She doesn't turn around, nor does she acknowledge my presence. She continues moving around the pots and pans, and other shit in the pantry.

Then suddenly. Very suddenly.

She starts to throw the kitchenware.

I dodge the skillet that comes my way.

Mom screams, "I can't find it! I can't find the damn thing!"

I start to walk toward Mom. "Hey, Ma. What exactly are you looking for?"

She still doesn't turn around to acknowledge me. She is still looking inside the damn pantry. "I saw it a couple days ago, but I don't see it anywhere."

"Are you looking for a pot, a pan?"

"Without the yellow pan I won't be able to make salmon patties."

She finally turns around to look at me, and she starts to cry. "I want to make salmon patties! But I can't now, because of the yellow pan! The yellow pan is gone 'cause you fucking took it Collin! Where is the fucking pan!"

She leans in, and screams in my face. "It's your fault I can't do all the things I want to! Where did the damn pan go?"

I blink a couple times and stare at her before responding. "Remember, you threw the yellow pan outside over the fence, 'cause you said yellow made your head hurt!"

"Shut up! I didn't do that!"

"You did do it!"

"No I didn't!"

"You did Mom! You did!"

At this point, I'm tearing up because Mom isn't understanding. She isn't listening.

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School is.

I see Abi standing in the school's entrance with her friends. They're giggling and chatting it up about girl things.

I take a couple glances at Abi, because today she decides to wear her hair up in a ponytail. And she never wears her hair up in a ponytail. She always wears it down and wavy.

Why does she decide to wear her hair up?

I look at the piece of paper I'm holding, and I try to figure out what the answer to number 51 is on this one algebra problem.

When I glance at Abi again, I notice she and her friends have stopped conversing.

I follow what their eyes are looking at, and when I do. It's hard to not roll my eyes.

The guy I've been impersonating over the phone has made his appearance.

He chats with his friends; laughter and praise is what I hear from Danny and those around him.

I look at Abi, and I want for her to look my way.

Would she ever notice the geeky guy in glasses?

I look over at Danny again, and I frown. He still stands there, just talking to his friends, and laughing like crazy. Oblivious towards the girl who longs for him to finally notice her, or to take a glance.

I erase the the answer I put for number 52, and enter the algebra equation into the calculator again.

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"I need for you to stay after school and help her," the Chem teacher Mr Everett tells me.

I should be glad to hear this news.

Ecstatic.

"I don't think I can do that...I ride the bus." I glance at the clock, and realize I am most likely going to be late to English.

Mr Morgan isn't a prick, but that doesn't mean he isn't one to lecture and complain.

"Collin what if I give you extra credit?" Mr Everett asks. "Maybe, even when you start thinking about college I could send you in a good recommendation."

Do I even want to go to college?

Perhaps, I'm better off living at home playing video games all day.

Maybe I can ask Ethridge to pick me up. He isn't busy after school, and besides, we're both planning going over to Is-Su's house for a game of Call of Duty.

He also wants to show us his new virtual reality headset.

Also, Abi Dearest is who I'm tutoring.

The girl I am deceiving.

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"You're wrong. You need to find the molarity."

Abi rolls her eyes at me, and erases the answer she just wrote down on the worksheet. "I thought that was the molarity."

"No, it's the mass. I've already told you that a couple times. You're smart."

I explain to her the problem again, and help her get the answer right this time.

So far she's needed help on every Chemistry problem.

A tint comes on her cheeks, as she eyes me wearily. "Sorry...I'm not really good at Chem."

"Obviously."

She tries figuring out the next Chem problem, and this time she doesn't need my help.

But she still gets the answer wrong.

I snatch the worksheet away from her, and read over all her work. "What's so hard to get?" I point to the formula. "The formulas already been given to you. Now just do it."

She frowns, and snatches the worksheet from me. "You don't have to talk to me like I'm dumb. You know, Chem isn't for everybody."

I shrug, and look at the time on my phone. I texted Etheridge awhile ago asking him if he could give me a ride home, or if perhaps we could head over to Is-Su's together. He hasn't texted me back.

Abi has finished all the problems of the worksheet, and hands it back to me. I look over all her work again, and all of it's correct—finally. "Okay, it looks like we're done for today."

She smiles a little, and looks at me like she's trying to figure me out.  But that look is only on her face temporarily.

My phone beeps, indicating Etheridge has texted me back.

Abi and I part ways, and at the school's entrance I wait for Etheridge.