"You were the one who taught me," he said. "I never looked at you without seeing the sweetness of the way the world goes together, or without sorrow for its spoiling. I became a hero to serve you, and all that is like you."

― Peter S. Beagle, The Last Unicorn

I look at my cell phone, and smile to myself.

It's been a year since everything, and I'm glad to say I'm in a much better place now.

Homecoming is coming around again, and instead of going to the homecoming dance with Collin, we are going to go to his place, and watch movies, eat junk food, play Fall Out, and just talk.

But right now we're visiting his mother at the institution where she is currently staying.

"It's okay," I say softly to Collin, as we stop in front of the door to his mother's room. I take his hand, and interlace my fingers through his. "Your mother will be happy to see you."

He looks at me sadly, and nods. "I hope so. Maybe she'll blame me..."

"She won't blame you. B-because she knows why she's here."

He nods as a tear rolls down his cheek. "Yeah. But I hate seeing her like this. In restraints."

I nod in understanding, and give his hand another squeeze before he opens the door.

When we both walk in, his mother smiles at the sight of him. That's a good sign, because it lets Collin know that there are absolutely no hard feelings.

That's what Collin is always afraid of. That someone is mad at him. He's always so hard on himself, when really he shouldn't be.

"Mom," Collin says nervously, "This is Abi, my girlfriend."

His mother's smile falter temporarily, but immediately brightens up when (I suppose) it sinks in. "Good," is all she says, before asking Collin what day it is, and if he's doing alright without her.

He tells her about how he has his own place now, and that maybe sometime in the future she can pay it a visit.

Patting Collin on the shoulder affectionately, I leave the room so he and his mom can have their time to just be.

Walking down the hall of the institution, I spot where the vending machine is.

Skittles don't seem bad to have right now.

So, as I'm walking towards the vending machine, someone calls my name. "Abi?"

I look to where my name was called, and surprise, surprise. It's Danny Sanderson.

He's still the same person.

He still excels in soccer, and he currently dates a girl from the school's lacrosse team (I guess he kicked Bevin to the curb).

Genuinely, I'm not concerned about what's up in his love life. But I so happen to be in pom squad, and half of the members love to speak on school rumors.

So, when I see that it is him who called my name, I smile politely. But I must mention, there is something awfully insecure about him in his demeanor. His hands are in the pocket of a jacket he wears, and his posture is more slumped than anything.

"I would've never guessed you'd be in a place like this," he says lightly, "You're visiting somebody?"

I frown slightly. "Um, yeah, I am visiting somebody. Are you visiting somebody?"

He then gives me a look, like he's trying to figure me out. Truth is, I already have him figured out.

Why does he want to make unnecessary small talk? Yes, Collin, had been Danny Sanderson (The guy who stands before me) all along. But I'm more disgusted at the thought of having been once infatuated with Warner High's soccer star.

One time I asked my mom, when you see the guy you had a crush on, back in high school, at a high school reunion...What are your thoughts exactly?

My mom tells me she asks herself what in the hell was she thinking back then (?)

"I'm visiting somebody here too," Danny finally replies. "They're not cray or anything. I don't know what it is exactly..."

How superficial.

My mouth is set in a thin line, and he sees the genuine disinterest. His smile falters, and takes a half a step back. "So, you and Collin are together now?"

I nod.

"You settled, then?"

What is that supposed to mean? I didn't settle. I know for a fact that I didn't settle. If I settled I would've still been pursuing this jackass who stands before me. So, I slap him. Hard. "If I settled, we would have been together. Man, and I would have been so damn miserable." I dodged a bullet.

He holds his cheek, and he looks at me with perplexity evident in his eyes.

Danny opens his mouth, then he closes it.

I walk away in pursuit of the vending machine.

I stick five quarters inside of it, and I manage to get the red package of skittles I so candidly adore. As I pass where Danny still stands holding his cheek, I don't necessarily look his way, but I know how he looks coming from my peripheral.

—

Collin and I sit on the swings at the park. It's not as chilly as it has been most days in the month of October. I re-wrap the scarf around my neck.

"Collin, why did you pick Danny Sanderson to be out of all people?" I ask, curiously. There are guys at Warner High, who are even more popular than Danny Sanderson. There's Simon Moore (a complete dick. I don't think I've ever crushed on him), Chandler Leeds (He's a bit rough with the ladies...a dog), and a couple others I can't remember enough to name.

Collin's smile slightly wavers. But he appears willing to answer, even if it kind of kills the peaceful mood.

He takes off the grey beanie he wears, and he looks at me. "There's a story my mother told me when I was a kid. It was before she let her mind give up. That's what I call what happened to my mother. She let her mind give up.

"The story she told was about this guy. She gave him a name. It was an anonymous name. Something forgettable. Ha, I don't remember it. But let's say it was something like John Doe. She said John Doe didn't like himself. Even if God, who loves us, doesn't make any mistakes—and John Doe knew that of God—But John Doe still didn't like who he himself was.

"John Doe wasn't handsome. He wasn't striking. He didn't hold any sort of charisma. He hated his name. He'd hated who he'd grown up to become. He then figured it was best to be somebody that everyone guaranteed of adoring. The new identity John Doe adopted was that of a guy he identified with a word such as admirable. So, he became the guy. Adopted his mannerisms, the way he looked, how he talked.

"John Doe portrayed the character so convincingly. Everyone forgot about the actual person he'd based his mask on.

"John Doe liked that.

"Initially, I always felt my mother should've ended the story on that note. Nothing else. John gets a happy ending. He wins out in the end. But my mother says his friends, and all those who'd known him as his John Doe self muttered under their breaths always, when they'd see him playing the 'admirable role', 'What a shame it is to see such a nice guy do that to himself. He became exactly what he thought he wanted. Not the person he could have been, but exactly what he thought he wanted.'"

I open my mouth in shock, and a tear rolls down my cheek.

He gets off the swing, and walks over to me, and gives me a hug.

I hold on to him for dear life.

"You don't understand the story, do you?"

I smile through my tears and all, with my arms still wrapped around him I say "No, I get it. It's clear. Crystal clear."

-

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Typography credit: @sereneur

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