*Adam's P.O.V.*

I tried to get cormfortable but failed miserably. I slept better when he was here, and he wasn't right now.

So to say the rest of the night was unbearable is an understatement. I groaned sitting up and running a hand over my sleep deprived face.

When I looked up I saw Tommy walking over. He came and sat on the floor next to the couch, pulling his knees up to his chest as he gave me a small smile that I knew was beyond fake.

I gave him a weird look as I gripped onto his arm, pulling him onto the couch and into my lap.

I ran my hand over his cheek and let my thumb trail over his beautiful pink lips. He flinched softly, quickly bringing his hand up to cover his mouth, before removing it.

''Sorry,'' He said shrugging. ''Sorry.'' He repeated again, gripping my hand in his and bringing the palm of my hand to rest back on his cheek. ''You can touch me.'' He told me.

''Are you okay?" I asked him, suddenly getting a feeling of worry that filled me quickly. I moved my hand from his face.

He nodded, and even though I didn't believe him I decided to let it slide. We'd talk about it later. I glanced out the bus window to see the sun coming up, I turned back to Tommy and he was staring into space again.

''Where'd you go? I get little to no sleep without you.'' I admitted, smiling at him as I let my hand rest on his leg. He turned to face me.

''I walked around 'till sunrise, just thinking.'' He said in a monotone voice. I leaned in towards him, placing kisses on his neck.

I felt his hand grip onto my shoulders as I trailed butterfly kiss up his neck and to his face.

''How about an early breakfast?'' I whispered to him, brushing my hand against his cheek as I leaned in kissing him gently on the lips.

The usual flavor of too many sweets didn't linger on his lips like it normally did. In fact; he actually tasted bitter. I pulled back from the kiss looking at him cryptically as my eyes scanned over his face.

''You taste like cigarettes.'' I told him. He stood up, leaving my embrace as he got to his feet. I watched as he brought his hand up to wipe his lips.

''Sorry,'' He said looking away from me. Even in the barely lit room I could see the conflicted look of fear in his deep brown eyes. ''I'm gonna go, um, go get cleaned up.'' He said, starting to walk off.

~~~~

*Tommy P.O.V.*

Guilt.

Guilt filled me and took over every part of my body. Everything was spinning. I was spinning. Nothing made sense, nothing was clear.

I stumbled and nearly fell but I felt a hand on my shoulder, steadying me. I blinked a few times, making my vision stay in focus.

''TJ are you okay, you look pale. Here,'' Ash's voice rang through my ears. ''Sit down.'' She ordered pushing me into a nearby chair.

I heard the faucet start and soon after a glass of water was being placed in my hand. I drunk a bit, feeling the cool liquid calm my body down before I handed her the glass back.

''What's wrong?'' She asked in a concerned voice. Moving some of my hair from my face, she let her hand press against my forehead.

What's wrong?

Everything is wrong. I'm wrong. I hated myself from the moment I realized it.

From the moment I realized he wouldn't love me anymore if he knew that I had not so much as let someone else kiss me, but I'd been kissed by someone else. And of all people that person was Isaac.

Isaac.

Just the thought of his name at this moment had me feeling sick. But it was all my fault. Adam was right. I shouldn't have pushed him.

I fucked everything up. I fucked up my friendship and my relationship. He wouldn't- He couldn't possibly still love me after he knew.

And he had to know. I had to tell him. Yet, I was so afraid to. I didn't want to visibly watch his feelings towards me change. I didn't want to do that. I didn't want this.

I never wanted any of this.

''Calm down, TJ. Please breath, you're scaring me.'' Only at the sound of Ashely's voice did I realize tears were streaming from my eyes and I was hyperventilating. I tried to take a deep breath to calm myself. I closed my eyes, bringing a hand up to wipe the tears away. ''I'm going to go get Ad--''

''No!'' I shrieked out, reaching my arm towards her and letting it latch onto her wrist. ''Please, no.'' I said, when she turned to look back at me. I shook my head, before getting to my feet. I was a little unsteady.

''I'm okay.'' I assured her. That lie burned my entire body. I'm not okay. I'm far from it. All the thoughts of the bad things soon to happen were flying around in my head. Mocking me. Scaring me.

I had to leave. I couldn't stay here. I couldn't face him. I can't do it.

I walked over to the bunks, reaching up towards the shelves and pulling my suitcase down.

I wasn't thinking, its better if I don't think. It'll all hit me like a million rocks if I do and I'll break down right here.

Ashely came up beside me just as I finished zipping my suitcase up. ''What are you doing?'' She asked. I could hear the worry laced in her voice. I sighed, turning to face her.

''I have to go. And all I'm asking is that you don't tell him, please Ash.'' I said trying to walk past her but she wouldn't let me. I had to leave. I had to leave before the tears toke over and I wouldn't be able to take a step.

''He'd hate me if I did that,'' She said. I could see her eyes brimming with tears. She was going to make me cry. I reached out pulling her into a hug. She wrapped her arms around my neck.

''Whatever happened, whatever's happening I know that he wouldn't want you to leave him. No matter what.'' She sobbed out, clinging onto me tighter.

I took a breath, forcing the tears back. I wish I could think that. I wish I could pretend that after he knows, he won't hate me and we could just go back to being us.

To being in love, but I know it won't turn out like that. And I'm such a horrible person I'm running from the downfall of it all. I don't want to witness it. I don't want to see us crumble firsthand.

''Promise me.'' I whispered to her, releasing her from the hug. She wiped her eyes, shaking her head at me as more tears replaced the wiped ones.

''I-I can't.'' She said.

''You have to,'' I begged. ''Just do this for me Ash, he can't follow me. I-I can't-He.'' I sighed, killing my rambling completely. I looked around the room, quickly producing a piece of paper and pencil.

My eyes stained with tears as I began scribbling fiercely on the paper. I moved back over to the bunks, taking a deep breath before pulling the ring off my finger.

Emptiness filled me without the feeling of it resting on my finger. But I didn't deserve it. I've never deserved his love.

I brought a shaky hand up wiping away the threatening tears before they could spill from my eyes. I placed the paper on his bunk and then sat the ring atop it.

''Bye Ash.'' I said, leaning down to kiss her forehead before leaving the bus. I didn't look back. I didn't give myself the right to. Because I deserved nothing.

~~~~

*Ashely P.O.V.*

''Bye Ash.'' Tommy said. I could hear it all in his voice. He didn't want to do what he was doing.

Even I didn't want him to do what he was doing and I sure as hell know Adam didn't either. He leaned down, placing a gentle kiss to my temple, before he left the bus.

I should tell Adam.

I should tell him.

I have to tell him.

It wouldn't be right if I didn't. But Tommy begged me not to. But Adam would hate me if I didn't. I'm throwing someone under the bus either way. And the hardest part was to pick who.

I wiped my eyes again, which was useless because the tears continued to stream. Why did he put me in the middle of this?

He had no right to do that. I don't want anything to do with this. It's all bad. Everything is bad and I don't even know what's wrong.

~~~~

*Adam P.O.V.*

I layed back down on the couch staring up at the ceiling...what just happened? He doesn't smoke. Well I've never seen him smoke, but I'm sure he doesn't. None of the bandmates do.

I wanted to back off and give him some space but I just couldn't. Worry over toke my body and remembering his timid state did not help me relax.

I took a deep breath. I just need to calm down. Nothings wrong. If anything was wrong he would tell me; I know that for sure. I sighed letting my head rest back against the couch.

I guess I should try to get as much sleep as I can before morning. I was up for more than twelve hours, because even though the band got off early I had to hang back and handle all of the extra things.

I closed my eyes and it wasn't hard to let sleep envelop me.

~~

When I woke up I could tell just by the color of the sun streaming in from the bus window, that it was past noon. I was beyond exhausted even though it may not have shown.

I sat up on the couch and groaned when I realized I actually could sit up on the couch, and there wasn't a blonde haired cutie preventing me from doing so.

I reached over and grabbed my phone, regretting it as soon as I looked through my planner. I had an interview in exactly an hour.

God, if tour alone wasn't enough stress; work, the publicity, and show appearances definitely took their toll. I sighed, getting up from the couch and running a hand over my face. At least I got to knock back a few hours of sleep.

I basically sleep walked my way to the bathroom, taking a quick shower and fixing my hair and makeup.

I exited the bathroom, noticing for the first time since I had woken up that the tour bus was awfully quiet. I glanced around, checking everywhere only to find that the bus was in-fact vacant.

''Just great,'' I muttered quietly. I glanced down at my watch. ''Thirty minutes to be there and my entire crew is M.I.A.'' I shook my head, trying to not let myself stress more than I wanted to.

Pulling my phone from my pocket I shot everyone a quick text, before grabbing my keys and walking from the bus.

I ended up running into Ashely as soon as I stepped off of the bus. ''Where is everyone?'' I asked her. ''We have a show in half an hour--'' I stopped talking when I noticed her eyes. She looked like she had been crying for hours.

''Ash, what's wrong?'' I asked, reaching over to pull her into a hug, bought she brought her hand up quickly waving me off.

''I'm fine,'' She assured. ''It's nothing. Um, the guys...the guys are,'' She turned away from me, wiping her eyes before turning back.

''Isaac is on his way back and Tommy...he wasn't feeling well. He said he's taking the day off.'' She said lowly, keeping her eyes averted to the ground.

I pushed down the panic I felt. I need to calm down. I don't know why I've been so jittery lately. I took a deep breath. ''I'll reschedule the appearance, do you know where he is? I need to make sure he's okay.'' I asked.

''He's fine, Adam.'' She assured me. But her weak voice wasn't convincing me and whether he was fine or not I still wanted to check on him.