Fizz: *angrily presses Ozzie against a wall* WHERE'S THE MONEY?!
Ozzie: ...
Ozzie: Are we about to kiss-

Fizz: Talk dirty to me, baby~
Ozzie: The dishes.
Fizz: Wh-
Ozzie: They've been there for 4 days and it's your turn to wash them. You still haven't cleaned them and I have asked you to do so several times.

Fizz: Being gay is a constant battle between "I wish to sit on a window bench with my lover, our legs tangling as we listen to the birds" and "Hey, let's go throw rocks at fascists" and I think that's very sexy of us.
Ozzie: If the window's open and you time it right, you can do both.

Fizz: You fuckers don't know about my knife stick. It's a knife taped to a stick and it's the ultimate weapon.
Ozzie, not looking up from their book: Spear.
Fizz: BLOCKED.

Fizz, talking about Ozzie: WHAT THE FUCK I WAS ARGUING WITH THEM AND I SAID "OOH YOU WANNA KISS ME SO BAD" AND GUESS WHAT? THEY DID. THEY KISSED ME. WHAT THE FUCK WHAT DO I DO.

Fizz: *seductively takes off glasses*
Fizz: Wow...
Ozzie: *blushes* Haha... what?
Fizz: You're really fucking blurry.

Fizz, trying to cheer the group up: Things could be worse, you know!
Ozzie: How?
Fizz: How what?
Ozzie: How could they be worse?
Fizz: They couldn't, I lied.
Ozzie:

Ozzie: My future partner must be brave, strong, intelligent, successful and organized.
Fizz: *steps on a caterpillar and proceeds to drop to their knees and sob while apologizing profusely*
Ozzie: That one. I want that one.

Fizz: Look at me straight in the eyes and tell me the truth, Ozzie!
Ozzie: You can't expect me to look into your eyes and be straight.

Fizz: Hey, Ozzie, what do you think it would be like if we had kids?
Ozzie: What would it be like? Inconvenient, mostly.
Fizz: No, I mean, what would they be like, the kids? You ever think about it?
Ozzie: Can't really say I have.
Fizz: You know, for someone as eccentric as yourself, you can be boring as fuck sometimes.
Ozzie: Sorry, Fizz. For what it's worth, I'm picturing them now. A boy and a girl. Two perfect little freaks of nature raised by people who've clearly got no business bringin' up anybody.

Fizz: I'm gonna need a human skull and I can't have you ask any questions why.
Ozzie: Only if you also don't ask why
Ozzie: *Pulls out 7 pristine human skulls* Take your pick.
Fizz:
Ozzie:
Fizz: This one is fine

Ozzie: So you like cats?
Fizz: Yeah.
Ozzie: *tries to impress them by slowly pushing a glass off the table*

Fizz: Top 30 reasons why Fizz is sorry... Number 5 will surprise you!
Ozzie: Top 30 anime deaths. Number One: YOUR FUCKING ASS RIGHT NOW!!!

Fizz: When I was young, I left a trail of broken hearts like a rockstar. I'm not proud of it.
Ozzie: You're kind of proud of it. You work it into a lot of conversations.

Fizz: Three words. Say them and I'm yours.
Ozzie: Three words.
Fizz:

Ozzie: I can't take this anymore, someone needs to take me out!
Fizz: In a dating type of way, or an assassination type of way?
Ozzie: I don't know, surprise me!

Fizz: Ozzie... Why did you draw a pentagram on the floor?
Ozzie: Your text told me to satanize the house before you returned.
Fizz:
Fizz: I wrote sanitize, Ozzie.

Fizz, throwing their head into Ozzie's lap: Tell me I'm pretty!
Ozzie, lovingly stroking their hair: You're pretty fucking annoying, that's what you are.

Ozzie: So what's for dinner?
Fizz, staring at the food they just burnt: Regret.

Ozzie: My hands are cold.
Fizz: Here, let me hold them.
Ozzie: My lips are cold too.
Fizz: *covers Ozzie's mouth with their hand*

Fizz: I actually have a black belt.
Ozzie: In what, karate?
Fizz: No, from Gucci.

Ozzie: I would never say that my partner is a bitch and I don't don't like them. That's not true... My partner is a bitch and I like them so much!

Fizz: Date someone who will drag you outside at 3am to look at the stars.
Ozzie: If anyone, and I mean anyone, wakes me up at 3am to go look at the damn sky they will be removed indefinitely from my life.

*Ozzie comes home absolutely drunk, undresses, and stands in Fizz's bedroom.*
Fizz: Babe, are you.. coming to bed?
Ozzie: No thank you, I'm sure you're lovely but I am in a relationship.
Ozzie: *Lies on the ground and falls asleep*
Fizz: ...

Fizz: I'm incredibly fast at math.
Ozzie: Alright, what's 30x17?
Fizz: 47
Ozzie: That's not even close.
Fizz: But it was fast.

Fizz: Bro-
Ozzie: No, no, hold up, rewind.
Ozzie: My tongue was down in your throat just a second ago and now you're calling me bro??

Fizz: Don't worry, I have a few knives up my sleeve.
Ozzie: I think you mean cards.
Fizz, pulling knives out of their sleeves: No, I do not.

Fizz, standing with their back turned: I've been expecting you, Ozzie.
Ozzie: How did you do that without turning around?
Fizz: ... To be perfectly honest, the first couple of people I did that to were not you.

Fizz: I don't need to go to bed. I'm not tired, I'll be fine.
Ozzie: But, darling, I'll be so lonely without you. Come curl up in my arms so I can feel whole again.
Fizz: O-oh. Well. Are you trying to seduce me into healthy sleeping patterns??
Ozzie: Is it working?

Fizz: You're the love of my life and my best friend, I would do anything for you.
Ozzie: I want you to eat three meals a day and have a decent sleep schedule.
Fizz: Absolutely not.

Fizz: *Accidentally hits Ozzie in the face*
Fizz: *Trying to decide between saying 'I'm fucking sorry' and 'Are you okay'*
Fizz: ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY?!
Ozzie: What's wrong with you?!

Ozzie: Let's watch Sharkboy and Lavagirl.
Fizz: Okay.
Ozzie: And make out during the scary parts.
Fizz: Th-
Fizz: The scary parts.
Fizz: Of Sharkboy and Lavagirl.

Ozzie: Yeah, a partner sounds nice, but a supreme enemy you can make out with in secret sometimes sounds a lot more hardcore.

Fizz: I'm a reverse necromancer.
Ozzie: Isn't that just killing people?
Fizz: Ah, technicality.

Ozzie: You know, I'm starting to regret showing you how that blender works.
Fizz, drinking toast: Why do you say that?

Ozzie: Fizz, I...
Ozzie: I love you!
Fizz: Not my problem.

Fizz: Look. I may not be a saint, but it's not like I've killed anybody. I'm not an arsonist. I've never found a wallet outside of an IHOP and thought about returning it but saw the owner lived out of state so just took the cash and dropped the wallet back on the ground.
Ozzie: Okay, that's really specific, and that makes me think that you definitely did do that.

Fizz: petition to remove the 'd' from Wednesday
Ozzie: Wednesay
Fizz: Not what I had in mind, but I'm flexible

Fizz: Okay, but what if we went to dinner not as friends this time?
Ozzie: AS ENEMIES?!
Fizz:

Fizz: Don't worry, I know exactly what I'm doing. Everything is going to be fine!
Ozzie: How can you still say that?
Fizz: Because sometimes, when things get tough, denial is all we have.

Ozzie: I fell—
Fizz: From heaven?
Ozzie: No, I literally fell—
Fizz: In love with me the moment you saw me?
Ozzie: MY ARM IS BROKEN!
Fizz: Okay, but do you think I'm pretty? Be honest.

Fizz: In light of what you did for me, you can hug me for four to five seconds.
Ozzie: FORTY FIVE SECONDS?!?
Fizz: No! Four to five seconds!
Ozzie: Too late!!!

Fizz, tending to Ozzie's wounds: How would you rate your pain?
Ozzie: Zero stars. Would NOT recommend.

Fizz: I slept for almost 12 hours but I might still be tired so lets go for 12 more just incase.
Ozzie: Fizz, that's a coma.
Fizz: Sounds festive.

Ozzie: I am so cool. I am an absolute Chad. I am the epitome of coolness and awesomeness—
Fizz: Hi.
Ozzie: *melts down in a flustered heap of softness*

Ozzie: I want to be with you for the rest of my life.
Fizz: Damn, that sounds like a marriage proposal.
Ozzie, getting down on one knee: That's 'cause it is.

Fizz: What are your goals?
Ozzie: To pet all the dogs.
Fizz: No, fitness goals.
Ozzie: To be able to run fast enough to pet all the dogs.

Fizz: God, give me patience.
Ozzie: I think you mean 'give me strength'.
Fizz: If God gave me strength, you'd be dead.

Ozzie: Fizz is playing hard to get.
Ozzie: Little do they know, I'm a master at playing hard to get rid of.

Fizz walking into the kitchen and seeing all their limes peeled: Ozzie, I love you but, what the h-e-double FUCK.
Ozzie, sipping coffee happily: I love you too :)

Ozzie: How do I tell Fizz that I want them to yell at me like they're Gordon Ramsay and I'm a poor little chef who just ruined a crème brûlée?

Ozzie: Are you sure Fizz's even gay? They barely even looked at me.

Ozzie: Pros and cons of dating me.
Ozzie: Pros. You'll be the cute one.
Ozzie: Cons. Holy shit, where do I begin-

Fizz: Do you want to know your gay name?
Ozzie: My... my gay name?
Fizz: Yeah, it's your first name-
Ozzie: Haha. Very funny Fizz-
Fizz: *gets down on one knee* And my last name.
Ozzie: Oh- oh my god.

Fizz: I'm trash.
Ozzie: As someone who's environmentally conscious, it's my duty to pick you up. Does 7 work for you?
Fizz:
Fizz: You smooth motherfucker.
Fizz: And yes it does.

Ozzie: The first time I saw you, you stole my heart.
Fizz: But I'm a kleptomaniac, so that doesn't mean anything.

Fizz: Hey Ozzie can I get a sip of your water?
Ozzie: It's not water.
Fizz: Vodka, I like your style!
Ozzie: It's vinegar.
Fizz: Wh-Wha-
Ozzie: It's vinegar, COWARD.

Ozzie: I want to kiss you.
Fizz, not paying attention: What?
Ozzie: I said if you die, I wont miss you.

Ozzie: I was going to suggest we do Marilyn Monroe and JFK roleplay, but I'd get way too into it.
Fizz: What- how?
Ozzie: You'd be like "come to bed ... Mr. President" and I'd be like, "I need to increase the amount of American military advisors in South Vietnam by a factor of 18."

Fizz: How do I deal with my enemies?
Ozzie: Kill them
Fizz: That's a bit extreme, I was hoping for a more passive solution
Ozzie: Kill them only a little?

Fizz: Whaddya call a fish with no eye?
Ozzie, not looking up: Myxine Circifrons
Fizz:
Fizz: fsh

Fizz: You're 'the second worst thing to ever happen to those orphans', what does that mean?
Ozzie: It means i was second worst thing to happen to those orphans.
Fizz: but what's the first worst thing?
*Awkward pause*
Ozzie: Fizz, they...they weren't always orphans.
Fizz:

Fizz: Am I going too far?
Ozzie: No, no, no. You went too far about seven hours ago. Now you're going to prison.

Fizz: Ok, maybe playing 'whose family is most dysfunctional' wasn't the best idea we've had. Ozzie's been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get them out...

Ozzie: Look, last night was a mistake.
Fizz: A sexy mistake.
Ozzie: No, just a regular mistake.

Fizz: I was thinking I'd do some magic-
Ozzie: You? Magic? Fizz, it says talent show.

Fizz: Someone will die.
Ozzie: Of fun!

Fizz: This is bothering me.
Ozzie: Well, you are digging up a corpse.
Fizz: No, not that. That's, uh, pretty par for the course, actually.