A Lucifer X Vox X Alastor one. if the quote generator let's me, that is-

Vox, looking at Lucifer and Alastor: Couples are disgusting. But maybe that's just my crippling loneliness.

Alastor, talking to Vox: Lucifer should use that repressed anger on my prostate.
(Al got freaky 💀)

Vox: Lucifer, Alastor just wants you to be his trophy husbands!
Lucifer: I am a trophy husband!

Alastor: Vox will be here in 8 minutes.
Lucifer: I have to wait 8 minutes to get a husband?

Lucifer: Yes my bitch pool is large and Vox and Alastor are in it.

Lucifer: I can stick things up there!
Vox: Even a remote??
Alastor, hearing from the other room: I'm not even gonna ask.

Alastor: How do you like it?
Lucifer: Rough.
Vox: With large fries- what?
Lucifer: what

Lucifer: Alastor, share your screen. I want to see Vox.

Lucifer: My second favorite conversation topic is Vox.
Alastor: What's the first?
Lucifer: ... you..

Alastor: I will shit out baby Jesus for the second time.
Vox: You'll wha...-
Lucifer: THE SECOND TIME???

Vox: I'm always entertained by the rivalry between you and Alastor.
Lucifer: For it to be a rivalry we'd have to be at least close to equals.
(Lmfao, frrrrr. Lucifer is the fucking king of hell! Al ain't getting anywhere close to his power!)

Alastor: Idiots be like: WOW Hi I'm Vox!
Lucifer: dead silent
Alastor: ...I'm sor-
Lucifer: No, it's true. It just wasn't funny.

Lucifer & Alastor: start playing Jazz Megalovania
Vox: Are you fucking kidding me
(This would actually happen though, lol-)

Vox: Alastor is gonna scissor you!
Lucifer: I'm in.

Vox, threateningly: I'm gonna yiff you both into next week!
Alastor: Vox-
Lucifer: HAHAHAHA