Val and Vox are canon. They are in an on and off relationship in canon.

Valentino: Is something burning?
Vox: Just my love for you.
Valentino: Vox, the toaster is on fire.

Valentino: I'm incredibly fast at math.
Vox: Alright, what's 30x17?
Valentino: 47
Vox: That's not even close.
Valentino: But it was fast.

Valentino: Working sucks.
Valentino: I want to be a malewife where my only responsibilities are being sexy and cute.

Valentino: When I get murdered, can you make sure I become an unsolved case?
Vox: wHat?
Valentino: I want to be on Buzzfeed Unsolved.
Vox: Can we go back to the part when you said "when I get murdered"?

Vox: I've been dropping them the most insanely obvious hints for like a year now. No response.
Valentino: Wow. They sound stupid.
Vox: But they're not. They're really smart actually. Just dense.
Valentino: Maybe you need to be more obvious? Like, I don't know... "Hey! I love you!"
Vox: I guess you're right. Hey Valentino, I love you.
Valentino: See! Just say that!
Vox: Holy fucking shit.
Valentino: If that flies over their head then, sorry Vox, but they're too dumb for you.
Vox: Valentino.

Vox: Can I ask a dumb question?
Valentino: Better than anyone I know.

Valentino, in a beach shirt: So sue me, it's October and I'd like to be on Island Time for a day!
Vox: I have Spotify open right now on my computer, do you want me to blast you? Do you want me to put you on blast? Cuz I've got your history right here on the sidebar,
Vox: Take it Back by Jimmy Buffet, Nautical Wheelers by Jimmy Buffet, Jolly Mon Sing by Jimmy Buffet, Steamer by Jimmy Buffet, trEAT HER LIKE A LADY BY JIMMY BUFFET, MAÑANA BY JIMMY BUFFET, WHEN SALOME PLAYS THE DRUMS BY JAMES BUFFET, HAVANA DAYDREAMIN BY JIMMY BUFFET- What the FUCK happened to you?!
Valentino, laughing: I HAD A CASE OF THE MONDAYS
Vox: ARE YOU HAUNTED?! ARE YOU FUCKING POSSESSED?!
Vox: YOU USED TO BE MY FRIEND
Valentino, cry-laughing: ᴵ ᴴᴬᴰ ᴬ ᶜᴬˢᴱ ᴼᶠ ᵀᴴᴱ ᴹᴼᴺᴰᴬʸˢ

Valentino: The stars are so beautiful...
Vox: They're just giant balls of gas.
Valentino: You know what, if you're just going to ruin this, then-
Vox: And yet none of them are as huge as my love for you.
Valentino: Oh...

Valentino: What is the most illegal thing you can do with one gold?
Vox: Exchange it for a hundred copper, put them all in a sock, and then beat someone to death with it.

Vox: You have your weirdly sincere humility.
Valentino: I prefer the term "self-loathing", actually.

Valentino: My crush isn't picking up on my hints.
Vox: What hints have you given them?
Valentino: Well, I think about them a lot.
Valentino: And sometimes I even think about talking to them.

Valentino: Don't preach to me about romance, Vox. I had a three-way in a hot-air balloon.

Vox: Bro-
Valentino: No, no, hold up, rewind.
Valentino: My tongue was down in your throat just a second ago and now you're calling me bro??

Valentino: No, this is not a mess. You know what I consider a mess?
Vox: Your life?
Valentino: I- well yes, but-

Valentino: Not to be nsfw but I want someone to hold me while I sleep.

Vox: I think we should make it illegal to be mean to me. Who's with me?
Valentino: Not me.
Vox: In my new world, you'd be put to death for such indiscretions.

Vox: Hey, random question, what are your favorite flowers?
Valentino: Peonies, why?
Vox:
Valentino: Were you going to get me flowers?
Vox:
Valentino:
Vox: ᶦᵗ'ˢ ᵃ ᵖᵒˢˢᶦᵇᶦˡᶦᵗʸ

Valentino: STOP!
*Everyone stops*
Valentino: wAiT a MiNuTe-

Valentino: Whose Granny Smith and where is she getting all of these damn apples?
Vox: Fun fact! Granny Smith is nabed aftr marea am smift frugh huh dibrack biarn eat showegh whale snert yargh hugh mort b- hhhngh... *passes out*
Valentino patting Vox's unconcious shoulder: Each day I learn some more! Thank you for teaching me!

Valentino: Thanks for pulling the fire alarm, you saved me from giving an oral report about The Scarlet Web.
Vox: You were too lazy to read the book?!
Valentino: I was too lazy to watch the movie.

Vox: How do tall people possibly sleep at night when the blanket can't possibly cover you?
Valentino: Vox, it's four o'clock in the morning.
Vox: So, you can't sleep, huh? Is it because of the blanket?

Valentino: How do you tell someone their breath stinks?
Vox: Hey, I'm bored, let's drink mouthwash.

Vox: Wait, is Baja Blast a real thing? I thought all of you were talking about masturbating.
Valentino: The way it tastes, we might as well be.

Valentino: What the fuck is wrong with you??
Vox: What? No good morning?
Valentino: Good morning, what the fuck is wrong with you??

Vox: Mate. You wanna go?
Valentino: Yeah.
Vox: ...On a date with me-
Vox: Oh you do?
Valentino: You're saying that like I fell for a cunning prank. We're literally dating, you egg.

Valentino: Can you keep a secret?
Vox: Do you know anything about my life?
Valentino: No I do not. Good point.

Vox: You're violent.
Valentino: Yeah but I'm also short and that's adorable.
P.S. Val you are 10 fucking feet tall!

Vox: Why do you not believe that ghosts are real?
Valentino: Never seen one.
Vox: Okay, I mean, there's a lot of things that you can't see that are real.
Valentino: What can't I see?
Vox: You can't see gravity. That's real.
Valentino: Yeah, I can drop an apple.
Vox: Fuck

Vox: Hey, it's your turn to wash the dishes.
Valentino: I'll wash the walls red with your blood.
Vox: Okay, but before that, wash the dishes. Also, use soap this time.

Valentino: *slowly pushes a cannon into a 17th century bank* Okay everyone, be cool. This is a robbery.

Vox: Sorry people are being weird to you for liking murder. What's your favourite murder fact?
Valentino: When you kill someone, they die!

Valentino: What is your biggest weakness?
Vox: I can be uncooperative.
Valentino: Okay, can you give me an example?
Vox: No.

Valentino: *Walking in to a room* Sorry I'm late... I was... doing things.
*Sounds of running footsteps progressively getting louder*
Vox: *Out of breath* THEY PUSHED ME DOWN THE FUCKIN' STAIRS.

Valentino: *holding a salt packet* It's just a little sodium chloride.
Vox: Actually Valentino, it's salt.
Valentino: That's what I said, sodium chloride.
Vox: Uh Valentino, that would be salt.
Vox: *takes salt packer from Valentino* This is iodized table salt, which in addition to sodium chloride contains anti-caking agents and potassium iodate, which is added to prevent iodine deficiency. So not only are you being overly pretentious by insisting on using scientific terminology for everyday items, you are factually wrong. Your arrogance is your downfall, you annoying little shit.
P.S. Bro tried to outsmart a freaking TV

Vox: Valentino? What are you doing here?
Valentino, wearing a hawaiian shirt, sunglasses and holding a gatorade: My best.

Vox: Can I have your number?
Valentino, visible texting: I don't have a phone.

Valentino: Please, I'm begging you go to a doctor.
Vox: I'm sorry is this OUR stab wound? Stay out of it.

Valentino: If you were to vacuum up jello through a metal tube, well I think that'd be a neat noise
Vox: I beg to differ
Valentino: Then Beg

Valentino: Treat spiders the way you want to be treated.
Vox: Killed without hesitation.
Valentino: No.
P.S. Also Val: *proceeds to mistreat a spider demon*

Valentino: I'm going to take you out
Vox: great, it's a date!
Valentino: I meant that as a threat.
Vox: See you at five!

Valentino: I've already sent good vibes your way... they're coming. There's nothing you can do to stop them.
Vox: This is the most threatening way I've ever been cheered up.

Valentino: I need a long word.
Vox: T-rex but the long one.

Vox: Do you think sex without love is a sin?
Valentino: If it is, I'll see you in hell.

Valentino: When I first met you, I thought you were weird and annoying.
Vox: And?
Valentino: And you are.

Vox: I assume you realize that this kind of idiocy will not be tolerated in this house.
Valentino: Is there any kind of idiocy you would be more comfortable with?

Vox: I feel like doing something stupid.
Valentino: I'm stupid, do me.

Valentino: I'm going to hell.
Vox: Probably.
Valentino: I'll pick you up?
Vox: *nodding* Carpool.

Valentino: Every zoo is a petting zoo unless you're a coward.
Vox: I'm worried about you.

Vox: Valentino, how could you possibly have gotten into this much trouble in one day?
Valentino: It... It didn't take me the whole day...

Valentino: PLEASE EXPLAIN WHAT UPSEXY IS!
Vox: Could you rephrase the question, in like, two words maybe?

Vox,: Do you know how many bones the human body has? It's 206. We start with 369 when we're babies but they fuse. Wouldn't you want to go back? Have as many bones as a baby? What if I could help you.
Valentino: Hi, yeah, what the actual, literal, GENUINE fuck does that mean?

Valentino: My head hurts.
Vox: That's your brain trying to comprehend its own stupidity.

Vox: Why aren't you sleeping?
Valentino: I'm to busy plotting your murder to sleep, Vox.
Vox:
Valentino: ...The nightmares.
Vox: *wrapping their arms around Valentino* Awwww, sweetie-

Valentino: I've become a bread crumb dealer to four crows at the lake. They pay me with a bit of everything. Like shiny things, fabric, or pens. But recently they paid me with a 20 dollar bill they found somewhere. So I decided to buy them some more expensive bread. They loved it. So they understand what to do. Give me money. I've probably racked up about 200 dollars at this point. Is it morally wrong though, I mean. They're the ones who steal the money from others. Or perhaps they just have a big pile laying somewhere. Should I keep on doing this?
Vox: You sound like the start of a Batman villain.

Valentino: *is visibly upset*
Vox: Valentino, what happened? I haven't seen you like this since you found out candyland wasn't an actual country.

Vox: My level of gay has reached "sighing deeply whenever anything extremely heterosexual happens near me".

Valentino: Where are you going?
Vox: To either get ice cream or commit a felony. I'll decide on the way.

Vox: I'm very scary.
Valentino: You're about as scary as a wet kitten.
Vox: Wet kittens are cute, at least I've got that going for me.
Valentino: And small.
Vox:
Vox: ...Yeah, yeah. I guess.

Valentino: It's called hentai and it is art!
Vox: I hate my life

Valentino: Who the fuck-
Vox: Language!
Valentino: Whom the fuck-
Vox: No.

Valentino: Vox's voicemails from Sleep Away Camp sound like Civil War updates:
Vox: Hello. I'm in charge of taking everyone down Salt Creek in canoes. It's been pouring for days and our tents are soaking. Morale is low. I love you.

Valentino: So... How's your life?
Vox: Good, yours?
Valentino: Same.
Valentino:
Valentino: We both lyin' ain't we.
Vox: YES LOL.

Valentino: Holy shit, Vox, do you know what this means?!
Vox: Kid, whenever you start doing this, nobody knows what you mean.

Valentino: Is five a lot of followers?
Vox: Depends on the context.
Vox: On Instagram? No, not a lot of followers.
Vox: In a dark alley? Yes, a lot of followers.

Vox: What the fuck? People actually tell their crushes they like them??
Valentino: What the hell do you do?
Vox: I die? What kinda question...

Valentino: Are you ever going to listen to me?
Vox: Yes. Absolutely.
Valentino: When?
Vox: When you're right.

Vox, to Valentino: How do you tell someone politely you want to hit them with a brick?

Vox: Bro, I had a dream we fucked.
Valentino: Bro, relax it was just a dream.
Vox: Huh, gay, I wouldn't fuck you.
Valentino: You wouldn't?
Vox: I mean, unless you want to-

Valentino, wiping tears from their eyes: If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, it's meant to be...
Vox: I'm literally just going to the store.

Valentino: Can you cut me some slack, Vox? I'm sort of in love.
Vox: I'm sorry, but that's really not my problem.
Valentino: I'm in love with you.
Vox: *blushes* Oh. That brings me in the loop a little.

Vox: Everyone knows that Santa is an invention designed by the big five corporations to sell tinsel and video games to an unsuspecting public.
Valentino: The whole "childhood wonder" stage just blew right past you, didn't it?

Vox: Kinda gay for a man to have dark circles under his eyes. Why aren't you getting a good night's sleep? Too busy thinking about other men?
Valentino: Kinda gay for a man to be well rested. What are you dreaming peacefully about? Other men?

Vox: Can we go to a haunted house?
Valentino: What's wrong with the one we live in?
Vox: Wh-what?
Valentino: Goodnight, Vox.

Valentino: What if one day you just suddenly turned into an almond and you couldn't scream or do anything about it because you were just a fucking almond?
Vox: Are you okay?

Vox: I trained this chicken to talk!
Valentino: Let's see, then.
Vox: What's a male deer?
Chicken: Buck
Vox: How much is 200 pennies?
Chicken: Buck buck.
Valentino: This is stupid...
Vox: It gets better.
Chicken: It gets way better, Valentino.

Vox: Valentino likes to say 'you can be part of the problem or part of the solution,' but I happen to believe you can be both.

Vox: *in a jail cell* What about my Miranda rights!? You're supposed to say I have 'the right to remain silent'"! NOBODY SAID I HAD THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT!
Valentino: *in the cell next to them* You have the right to remain silent, what you lack is the capacity.

Valentino: I'm horny, wanna pick me up?
Vox: I only swiped right because your username is "guy" with a generic ab picture and I thought that was funny. It's 10 am.
Valentino: You don't like to have a little fun?
Vox: I think you are insane.
Valentino: I think you find my insanity sexy.
P.S. This is canon, you can't convince me otherwise.

Valentino: The weirdest thing about living alone is how many hours you go without speaking a single word...
Vox: Bold of you to assume that I don't talk to myself.

Valentino: Vox, can I ask you a question?
Vox: You just did.
Valentino: Okay, can I ask you two questions?
Vox: You just did.
Valentino, frustrated: OKAY, CAN I ASK YOU FOUR QUESTIONS?!
Vox: You just did.
Valentino: When?!
Vox: Just now.

Vox: Are you real?
Valentino: Wish i wasn't.

Vox: Stop failing.
Valentino: Don't tell me what to do! I'll fail right now!
Valentino: *Succeeds*
Valentino: Dang it!

*at a zoo*
Valentino: What are they in for?
Vox: Valentino, this isn't prison.
Valentino: So they can leave?
Vox: No, but-
Valentino, pointing at a meerkat: I bet that one murdered someone.
P.S. Val be going to prison for that joke 😶

Vox: N... No!
Valentino: A fair rebuttal. However, consider this counterpoint: Y... Yes???

Vox: Happy Canada day you syrup drinking, hockey loving piece of shit.
Valentino: Happy Fourth of July you gun toting, capitalist shitweasel.

Valentino: Hey.
Vox: *pissed off* You... complete ...ASS, Valentino! You show up here after WEEKS, and you say "hey"?!

*While planning to break in somewhere*
Valentino: Hey, let's do "Get Help!"
Vox: What?
Valentino: "Get Help."
Vox: No.
Valentino: C'mon, you love it!
Vox: I hate it.
Valentino: It's great! It works every time!
Vox: It's humiliating.
Valentino: Do you have a better plan?
Vox: No.
Valentino: We're doing it!
Vox: We are not doing "Get Help!"
*A Minute Later*
Valentino, carrying Vox: Get help! Please! They're dying! Help Them! *throws Vox at guards, knocking them out*
Valentino: Ahh, classic!
Vox: *gets up* I still hate it. It's humiliating.
Valentino, laughing: Not for me, it's not.

Vox: If you stole a second from every human's lifespam, you'd be able to live 240 more years!
Valentino: *Fucking steals a second off of your lifespan.*
Vox: ...Erm?
Valentino: *Hits you over the head with a bat.*

Valentino: I'm not funny, I'm just really mean and people think I'm joking.

Vox: You're giving me a sticker?
Valentino: Not just a sticker. That is a sticker of a kitty saying "me-wow!"
Vox: I'm not a preschooler.
Valentino: Fine, I'll take it back-
Vox: I earned this, back off!

Valentino: Hey bro, what you doing tonight?
Vox: Nothin', how about you?
Valentino: Having a party tonight, you down?
Vox: Hell yeah bro, I'm down. What time?
Valentino: 11pm, bro. There's gonna be a lotta fighting and a lotta fucking.
Vox: Can't wait bro! You know who's gonna be there?
Valentino: No one, bro. Just me and you.
Vox: ...Huh?
P.S. Val, you horny ass-

Valentino, holding an unconscious Vox: Oh no. Please don't be dead.

Vox, making coffee: This is going to fix everything.

Valentino: I think we should kiss.
Vox: And I think you should die but we don't always get what we want.
P.S. Yes Val, please die

Vox: Dammit, you ruin everything!
Valentino: You're welcome.

Valentino: Scrappy Doo has been found dead in Miami.
Vox: Is he okay...?
Valentino: He's alright but he died.

Valentino: *fast-forwards all the way through the movie*
Vox: You can't just skip to the happy ending!
Valentino: I don't have time for their problems.

Valentino: I'm just remembering that my second year in America someone asked me to "Validate their Parking" which was the first time I heard that phrase and after blinking stupidly for a full five seconds I said "Well, parking is very hard but I'm sure you did really well."

Valentino: Did you buy eggs like I asked?
Vox: Even better!
Valentino: What the fuck did you-
Vox: *holding up a chicken* His name is Ozz.
P.S. Throwback to that one time when Fizz said that line in chapter 4, lmao.

Vox: At first I thought you were foolish and incompetent.
Valentino: My apologies for whatever misstep I may have taken to dispel that impression. It was an honest mistake, I swear.

Valentino: I've never been in a snowball fight before. I don't know the rules.
Vox: What?
Valentino: Is there a point system, or is it to the death?

Valentino: Hey, can I get a sip of that water?
Vox: It's not water.
Valentino: Vodka! I like your sty-
Vox: It's vinegar.
Valentino: ...What?
Vox: It's vinegar, PUSSY.

Vox: What do you have?
Valentino: A KNIFE!
Vox: NO!