Moxxie: Where the devil is Millie?
Blitzø: Well, it is raining outside... Maybe they melted?
Loona: Shall I look outside for a pointy hat?

*Everyone is playing a board game together*
Millie: I will put 'A' down to make 'A'.
Blitzø: I will add onto your 'A' to make 'AT'.
Moxxie: I will add onto your 'AT' to make 'RAT'.
Loona: I will add onto your 'RAT' to make 'BIOSTRATAGRAPHIC'.
Moxxie: *flips the board*

Moxxie: Shh, here comes Millie!
Loona: Quick, Blitzø, start talking about boring nerd stuff!
Blitzø: You know, nerd culture is mainstream now, so when you use the word "nerd" derogatorily, it means you're the one that's out of the zeitgeist.
Loona: Yes, that's perfect. Just like that.

Millie: I just want someone to take me out.
Blitzø: On a date?
Moxxie: With a sniper gun?
Loona: Both if you're not a coward.

Moxxie: God has let me live another day and I'm going to make it everyone's problem.

Blitzø: Where is Loona?
Millie: I'll do you one better, who is Loona??
Moxxie: Here's a better question, why is Loona?

Moxxie: Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit, and wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
Blitzø: That's deep.
Millie: That means that ketchup is a smoothie.
Blitzø: That's deeper.
Loona: ...You guys are idiots.

Loona: Hey guys I just found a new song I really like-
Moxxie: Is it about death?
Loona: No.
Millie: Is it about drugs?
Blitzø: Is it about sex?
Loona: NO- it's about happiness and peace and-
Moxxie, Millie, and Blitzø:

Loona: You were stabbed. Do you remember anything?
Moxxie: Only the ambulance ride to the hospital.
Loona: That wasn't an ambulance, I drove you.
Moxxie: But I heard a siren.
Millie: That was Blitzø.
Blitzø: Sorry, I got nervous

Loona: We can bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or 4,000 degrees for 1 minute.
Millie: No, that's not how you make cookies.
Blitzø: FLOOR IT!!
Loona: How about 4,000,000 degrees for 1 second?!?
Millie: yOU'RE GONNA BURN THE HOUSE DOWN-
Loona: I'M GONNA HARNESS THE POWER OF THE FUCKING SUN TO MAKE COOKIES!
Moxxie: DO IT!
Millie: NO-

Blitzø: *Gasp*
Millie: wHAT??
Blitzø: What if soy milk is just milk introducing itself in Spanish?
Millie: *inhales*
Loona, in another room with Moxxie: Why can I hear screeching?

Millie: Blue M&Ms are the best.
Loona: whAT IS THIS SLANDER?
Millie: What about it? They are.
Loona: I WILL NOT ALLOW SUCH LIES ON MY CHRISTIAN MINECRAFT SERVER!
Loona: THE RED ONES ARE THE BEST!
Millie: YEAH? WELL YOUR MOM'S A HO!
Moxxie: They're all chocolate inside, the colors don't mean anything.
Blitzø: I like the yellow ones.
Millie and Loona: SHUT THE FUCK YOUR MOUTH!

Blitzø: If chickens were big enough to eat us do you think they would?
Moxxie: Without question!
Loona: Without remorse.
Millie: Without hesitation.
P.S.: My brain after listening to this went to Fizz and Ozzie. I am cackling. 🤣

Moxxie: Hi, could I ask how exactly does one accidentally set a lemon on fire??
Loona: Microwave for 40 minutes. 😔
Millie: Why were you microwaving a lemon???
Loona: I read boiling lemons helps cover up up bad smells (I wanted to cover up the scent of burnt oranges) but I didn't own any pots.
Blitzø: Did you burn an orange too? How???
Loona: Microwave for 40 minutes. 😔

Loona: Is stabbing someone immoral?
Moxxie: Not if they consent to it.
Millie: Depends on who your stabbing.
Blitzø: YES??!!?

Blitzø: Where's Moxxie?
Loona: Don't worry, I'll find them.
Loona, shouting: Millie sucks!
Moxxie, distantly: Millie is the best person ever! Fuck you!
Loona: Found them.
P.S.:- So damn accurate, lol.

Cop: What are your names?
Moxxie: Don't tell them, Blitzø.
Cop, writing: Blitzø...
Moxxie: Crap.
Blitzø: Nice going, Moxxie.
Cop:
Blitzø: Uh oh.

Loona: ARE YOU-
Blitzø: Fucking.
Loona: KIDDING ME?! YOU-
Blitzø Fucking.
Loona: IDIOT!
Moxxie: ...What was that?
Blitzø: Millie banned Loona from swearing, so I'm helping them out.

Millie: Are you laughing at that video of Blitzø and Loona fighting?
Moxxie: No.
Moxxie: I'm laughing at the comments.

Loona: What's the difference between America and yoghurt?
Blitzø: If you leave yoghurt alone for 200 years, it will develop a culture.
Moxxie: This was like the sickest burn I've ever seen.
Millie: Yoghurt can be fat free.

Millie: Die.
Moxxie: Please don't die!
Millie: DIE!
Moxxie: PLEASE DON'T DIE!
Blitzø, confused: Why are they yelling at a plant?
Loona, watching while eating popcorn: They bought it together and Moxxie wants Millie to accept it as their kid.

Millie: We need a way to lure in new customers?
Blitzø: Maybe we could have some fun, interactive events!
Moxxie: Loona bath water.
Loona: ABSOLUTELY NOT!

Loona: My stomach growled super loud in French.
Loona: I would like to clarify, my stomach did not speak in French. It growled during French class.
Moxxie: Bonjour.
Millie: Le growl.
Blitzø: Hon hon hon, feed me a baguette.

Moxxie: I currently have 7 empty notebooks and I have no idea what to put in them. Any suggestions?
Loona: Put spaghetti in it.
Moxxie: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone but you.
Millie: Put spaghetti in it.
Moxxie: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone but you two.
Blitzø: Put spaghetti in it.
Moxxie: I am no longer taking suggestions.

Moxxie: A shitty cryptid that's a knife block that screams when you put knives in it.
Millie: A human.
Loona: So, a human?
Blitzø: Julius Caesar.

Police: You're under arrest for trying to carry three people on a single motorcycle.
Moxxie, with Loona and Blitzø behind them: Wait, what do you mean THREE?!
Police: Yes...three.
Moxxie: Oh, my God— What the fuck!?
Police: Wha-
Moxxie: Millie FUCKING FELL OFF!

Blitzø: Hey, I say we go down there, kick Moxxie's door in, and let them know that we're in town.
Millie: That ain't the way we do things here. We may have to go in there and run a con, drop a bug, do the smooth talking.
Blitzø: Okay, you come with me, you do the smooth talking, let's go.
Millie: No, we just can't go in there and kick down Moxxie's door. We need a plan.
Blitzø: Well who makes the plans?
Millie: Loona.
Blitzø: Loona, what's the plan?
Loona: You guys are gonna go down there, kick Moxxie's door in, let them know you're in town.

Millie: Loona is taking credit for Blitzø's work, getting them to deal with everything, and making fun of them! You know what they sounds like?
Moxxie: You?
Millie: No, I meant... You know Blitzø. In spite of being clever and sarcastic they're also... fragile and weird and they have trouble fitting in. And Loona is taking advantage of their weakness! You know what that's called?
Moxxie: A Millie?
Millie: ...Yeah, but I'm the only one who should be allowed to do that, okay?!

Loona, at their gamer funeral, on their gamer deathbed: *Is dead*
Millie: My fellow gamers, today we press F, but from here on...
Blitzø and Moxxie: *Crying*
Millie: ...We must press W, and move forward.

*Comments under an image of a really hot knife cutting bread*
Loona: Imagine stabbing someone with this knife.
Blitzø: It would instantly cauterize the wound, so the person wouldn't bleed, so it's not very useful.
Millie: if you want information it is
Moxxie: why would you STAB a person when you can have TOAST?

Moxxie: "My dearest belived fuckos" is a fun, gender-neutral way to begin a speech.
Loona: See also: "Esteemed bastards".
Millie: "Gentlefolk, ferals and domesticated Cryptids".
Blitzø: "My fellow yees and haws".