Chapter 34: Hello Rosie Part 1
Gathered in the hotel lounge, Vaggie informs everyone on what occurred while she and Charlie are in Heaven, revealing that Vaggie used to be an Exorcist, and how Adam decided to attack the hotel first on Extermination day, and the fact that Adam actually forced Zelda back to Earth.
Curious, Niffty asks, "So, like where are your wings?"
"Niffty, I don't have-" Vaggie says.
But Angel interrupts, "Did you ever think maybe she's sensitive about her lack of wings, just like her lack of tits?"
"Yeah," Niffty says before tugging at Vaggie's shirt, "Where are your tits?"
Vaggie sighs, "Any other questions?"
"I got one," Husk says, "How come every time Charlie talks to Heaven we get in deeper and deeper shit?"
"It's not her fault," Vaggie says, "Angels are just-"
"Liars?" Angel interjects.
"...Difficult," Vaggie says, "But Charlie's trying her best."
"Yeah, well, her best is turning out really well so far," Husk says.
Then Manny speaks up, "Still, I-I can't believe Adam would do that. To force Zelda back home."
"Trust me, I'm not happy about it either. Charlie was especially upset about it," Vaggie says.
"And those two angelic asswholes called Zelda a freak and abomination just because she's only half angel," Angel angrily says, "What the fuck is wrong with them?"
"Poor Charlie must be heartbroken," Usagi says.
Then Lola asks, "Is there a way to get Zelda back?"
"There might be a way, but we need to figure this out accordingly, and well..." Vaggie says and lets out a sigh, "Maybe it would be best to get Zelda after the Extermination."
"Maybe?" Manny questions.
"And where is miss fearless leader anyway?" Angel questions, "Isn't it about time for another 'doomed-to-fail' plan?"
"She's upstairs. Coming up with something, I'm sure, in our room. Alone," Vaggie says, dejected.
"Hmm," Alastor vanishes into black smoke.
Meanwhile in her bedroom, Charlie is in her bed under her covers softly crying. While Razzle and Dazzle comfort her with tissues.
Alastor reappears in her room and approaches her bedside, "Oh, Charlie, you look an absolute mess."
Charlie frowns in response, "Ugh, go away, Alastor," and hides under the covers once more.
Alastor sits down on her bed and says, "Now, now is that any way to act after picking a fight with all of Heaven and dooming everyone you love?"
Charlie emerges from the covers, "I have enough on my mind without hearing your sadistic idea of a joke, asshole," wraps herself under the covers again.
Only for Alastor appears beside her, "Who's joking?"
Charlie gets scared, jumps and falls off of the bed.
"You have a captive audience downstairs waiting to hear what kind of inspiring performance you have planned next," Alastor says.
Charlie groans, "Ugh, I can't. How can I face them after failing them all so hard?"
Alastor repositions himself on his stomach and begins kicking his legs in the air.
"They came here to be saved and all I gave them was more pain," Charlie says and begins tearing up, "I'm just as bad as the cruelest Overlord in Hell. And maybe worse."
Charlie stands and paces back and forth, "At least they don't go around giving false hope."
"Well, I never expected to see such a miserable display of self-loathing from you," Alastor says.
"Oh, fuck you, Alastor," Charlie angerly says.
Alastor adjusts himself, now laying on his side.
"All you do is stand there, smiling while you watch us struggle and fail. I don't know how you can enjoy all this suffering so much," Charlie says.
Alastor stands up, wraps his fingers on Charlie's shoulder while chuckling, "Just because you see a smile don't think you know what's going on underneath," and lets go of Charlie.
Alastor grabs Charlie's face with his hand and makes her smile, "A smile is a valuable tool, my dear. It inspires your friends, keeps your enemies guessing, and ensures that no matter what comes your way, you're the one in control."
"But I'm not," Charlie says, upset. She walks towards her bedroom window, "I'm the farthest thing from in control. The person I trust most has been lying to me for years. Heaven refuses to listen and forces Zelda back to Earth without her consent," She then thuds both fists against the window, "Even if they did, I can't prove the hotel works. Adam has an invincible exorcist Army pointed right at my doorstep and there's nothing I can do," and thuds the window, "About any of it!"
Alastor soon shows off a sinister smile. Then says in a sing-song tune, "I know something you don't know."
"Huh?" Charlie says, confused.
Alastor walks over and grabs Charlie's arms, "Those big, scary angels are not quite as indestructible as they seem," He lets her go and walks away.
"What are you talking about?" Charlie asks.
"Just that you and your little band of misfits might stand more of a chance than you think," Alastor says.
Hearing there is a chance, Charlie desperately begs, "How? I'll do anything."
"Anything?" Alastor questions, and soon reaches his hand out to her, "Then... let's make a deal."
Charlie becomes shocked and asks, "You... You want my soul?'
"Your soul?" Alastor says, sinisterly.
Then brightly says, "Heavens, no. All I need from you is one itty-bitty favor. What's a favor between friends?"
"I won't hurt anyone for you," Charlie refuses.
"Who's asking!" Alastor says, "One favor, at a time of my choosing, where you harm no one. In return, I tell you what I know," and reaches his hand forward to Charlie, "Do we have a deal?"
Razzle and Dazzle both growl as Charlie puts her hands down to stop them.
Charlie reaches her hand out, "Deal," And her demonic eyes and horns appear.
Then both Charlie and Alastor shake hands resulting in a green demon/ghost-like aura flash throughout the room.
In the lounge, Vaggie and the others, now in the hotel lobby as they observe the flash, happen.
Vaggie begins heading to her and Charlie's room, "No. No!"
Vaggie strains and slams the bedroom door open with her spear in hand.
"Right on cue!" Alastor says.
"What did you do? Let her go!" Vaggie cries out.
Alastor and Charlie finish their handshake.
Charlie quickly stops Vaggie, "Vaggie, Stop!"
"What?" Vaggie responds, confused and drops her spear.
She soon realizes in devastation, "No! Charlie, please tell me you didn't."
Vaggie pleads, "Charlie."
"Oh, calm down. She still owns her soul," Alastor says.
And then Charlie says to Vaggie, "He gave me info that can save the hotel, but we're going to need help. The angels can be defeated, and Carmilla is the key."
"What? Carmilla Carmine?" Vaggie says, confused.
"She killed an exorcist in the last extermination. She knows how they can be harmed," Charlie says.
This shocked Vaggie, "But... I- I didn't even know that was possible."
"If you did, would you have told me?" Charlie questions.
"Charlie, I-" Vaggie says, still stunned.
"I need you to go to Carmilla, convince her to teach us. If she can, we might have a chance," Charlie says.
"With just around one of us?" Vaggie questions.
"No, we're-" Charlie says, but soon realizes, "Ugh, we're going to need numbers too."
Alastor reenters the conversation, "And I know just who can help. As long as Charlie can be her normal, charming self."
"What's that you said about smiles?" Charlie questions.
Patting Charlie's head, Alastor says, "Good girl."
Vaggie whispers, "Charlie, can we talk about this-"
"We can talk later. Right now, we have a job to do," Charlie says, "You with us?"
Vaggie sighs, "Ugh."
Vaggie walks down the stairs, only to be met by a confused Angel Dust.
He asks, "So-ho, uh...Alastor and Charlie just left like they were runnin' away from their responsibilities. Should we be alarmed?"
"No," Vaggie answers, "We have a plan, but it includes defending ourselves against the angels."
This shocked Husk and questions, "Uh- are you fuckin' high?"
"They can be killed," Vaggie says.
Frank stops helping the others chase KeeKee and says, "Yeah! That knife lady, Camaro Carfight, killed one."
"Wait, you knew about this?" Vaggie asks.
"Uh, yeah. Zelda knows about it too," Frank says.
This shocked Vaggie, "Wait, Zelda knows about this too."
"Yeah. But she promised to keep it a secret because Camaro doesn't want anyone to know, and even made sure Alastor didn't tell. She even said she'll punch his teeth in if he does," Frank adds.
"Pretty gutsy of her to do that," Vaggie says with a smirk.
Then Frank turns to Pentious, "And I told Boss about it months ago."
"He what?" Vaggie asks with a frown and turns to Pentious.
"What? They say insane shit all the time! how was I supposed to know this one was true?" Pentious says in defense.
"Bank accounts are a scam created by the shadow government!" An Egg boi says.
"SEE?" Pentious says.
Vaggie sighs, "What's important now is that we're going to have a fight on our hands. Look, this hotel is about to become the most dangerous place in hell, and we... I, can't guarantee your safety anymore. I still believe in Charlie's dream. We know this place can work. But none of you signed up for this," she then walks to the front doors and opens it, "I'm gonna go learn how we can fight back."
"What about Zelda?" Manny asks.
Vaggie sighs, "Well, I think it's best that we wait until the Extermination ends to get Zelda. Zelda believes in Charlie's dreams and agreed to help with the hotel. However, Zelda did not sign up for this miss, so it probably is best she is sent home. I need to get going and when we come home...Well we'll understand if none of you are here," and she leaves the building.
"Well...This is awkward," Pentious says, feeling awkward.
"'Kay!" Niffty happily says.
The door closes behind her soon after.
Meanwhile...
Alastor escorts Charlie down the streets as he listens to Charlie, cleaning his monocle in the process.
"Three years!" Charlie rants, "THREE YEARS I've been sharing my life with her, and I tell her EVERYTHING! My hopes, my dreams, my insecurities, my embarrassing habits, what fucking DEODORANT I like, and she keeps something, like this, from ME? Why would she lie for so long? Did she think I wouldn't accept her? What about me—me—says un-understanding?" pauses, "misunderstanding," pauses, "dis-under, wait wh-"
But pause a moment to notice their current location.
Charlie turns to Alastor and asks, "Alastor, where are we?"
"Cannibal Town!" Alastor says, "There's a friend of mine I think you should meet."
"In Cannibal Town?" Charlie responds, "But it's, it's..." and looks at surroundings, "Surprisingly nice here."
"Isn't it though? and it's all thanks to a very special someone," Alastor says.
Alastor opens the door for Charlie as they enter Rosie's Emporium, where they meet the Cannibal Overlord herself at her desk speaking to a young woman at the front of a long line.
The Overlord, Rosie is a very tall demon with pale gray skin, and a wide mouth with black lips, sharp light pink teeth inside, and dusty-pink cheeks. Her eyes are pitch-black with no irises or pupils, and her hair is colored white-and-gray. She appears to be slightly taller than Alastor. Rosie's clothing suggests high-class fashion of the Victorian era, which consists of a large, pimped-out sun hat that is colored in a shade of maroon, with two skulls that are colored in a grayish-pink and red-pink, three dark burgundy flower-like decorations located at the brim, and large plumes which are black and pink-red respectively. In addition, her hat also includes pink frilled-trim around it, along with black lining inside. She wears a pale-maroon and pale-burgundy dress which includes puffed shoulders, thin pale-maroon swirl-like stripes on the high black collar, black-trimming around the waist and on the long sleeves' ruffled cuffs, and three black stripes and black trim located on the hem. Under her dress, she wears a pair of black kitten-heeled shoes.
Rosie says to the client, "Well who hasn't thought about eating their first husband? I certainly would have if he didn't taste so bad! Hehe, I tell ya what, you bring ol' tall dark and armless to me, and I'll straighten him right out, Okay sweetie?" She gives her card, "Now here's my card a-"
She soon notices Alastor, "Oh, my, stars! Do my eyes deceive me?" She peeks through the crowd, "Alastor?"
And makes her way through, "Alastor! Where have you been? These halls really lost some of their sparkle without your lively presence and-"
Rosie soon notices Charlie, and asks, "Oh. Who's this ya brought with you? Come now, Alastor, that girl is much too young for you!"
Charlie rolls her eyes in response.
"Oh I'm just kidding. I know you're an Ace in the hole," Rosie says.
"A what now?" Alastor says, not understanding."
But then Rosie says, "But where are your manners mister? Introduce us, why don't you?"
"Ahh, yes," Alastor says, and then introduces the girls to each other, "Charlie, this is Rosie," Rosie curtsies politely, "The most darling, delightful and dangerous Overlord this side of the Pentagram!"
"Oh! Always such a charmer," Rosie says.
"And Rosie, it's my pleasure to introduce you," Alastor says as he pushes Charlie up to her, "To Princess Charlie Morningstar. Daughter of Lucifer and heir to the throne of Hell!"
"How do you do?" Charlie says nervously, waving.
"Well well! isn't this a regal surprise!" Rosie says and pushes her to desk, "Come in! Come in! Can I offer you somethin' to eat? I'm sure I have a leg around here or somethin'. Oh, what am I thinkin'?" And pokes her stomach, "Small thing like you? You're probably watchin' your figure! How bout some nice pinkie fingers instead?"
She then gets out a box of cut off pinkie fingers in little pink wrappers.
But Charlie politely declines, "Um...No. no, thank you, though."
Rosie puts the box away, "Oh look at you!" and pats her head, "So polite! Alastor, you could learn a thing o' two."
Rosie then proceeded to take Charlie to a table with two chairs. Rosie sits Charlie down on one of them and she sits on the one across from her. Alastor walks up to Rosie.
"Well, sit down. Sit down. Tell Auntie Rosie what she can do for you," Rosie says and sits down.
Then Rosie turns to Alastor, "Ya know, Alastor. I got a premo-connect on a guy with about eight blocks of territory and not enough goons to run it. Prime pickin's for a deal to be made, my friend."
"Appreciate the offer," Alastor says and walks up to Charlie, "But we're here on business of another kind."
"Well don't keep me in suspense! I'm a very busy woman," Rosie says and drinks a cup of tea.
"Well, as you know..." Rosie says, and begins to panic, "The extermination is coming early. It'll be here in a month, and they're-they're coming for my hotel and my friends first, and I-I-I-I-"
Then Alastor interrupts, "We need your help. Well, your cannibals help at least, to fend off the attack."
"Wow!" Rosie says, amazed and puts down cup, "When you ask a favor ya don't start small, do ya, your highness? Oh now, don't fret," She then gets up, "I didn't say I wouldn't help. But I assume there's more to this plan then a bunch of unarmed cannibals."
"Oh, your people will be far from helpless when we're done with them. And by the end, they will be able to eat, their, fill," Alastor says to Rosie.
"Well, in that case, sure!" Rosie says, thinking a bit. And then says, "Why not?"
"Really?" Charlie asks.
"What can I say? I like your moxie girl. And old Alastor has never done me wrong before," Rosie says.
This makes Charlie happy, "Oooh! Thank you," and holds her hands, "Thank you, thank you!"
Meanwhile...
Vaggie is at Carmilla Carmine's house.
She bangs on the door and shouts, "Carmine! Carmine, we need to speak."
Then Vaggie walks to the camera to get in view, "We know what you did on extermination day! We can all talk about it inside, or I can yell about it out here!"
Soon, the door clanks open.
"Fuckin right you open the door," Vaggie says and walks inside.
Once inside, the door closes behind her.
Vaggie walks around the foyer as she calls out, "Hello?"
Suddenly, she hears Carmilla's voice echoing, "You have 2 minutes to convince me not to silence you for good."
Soon, a spotlight is turned on revealing Carmilla.
Vaggie steps forward and explains, "Miss Carmine, I'm here on appointment from the princess to enlist your aid in the defense of hell from the angelic extermination. We know an angel fell at your hands and we need to know how."
"No!" Carmilla refuses.
"What do you mean, no? The princess of hell-" Vaggie says
"Means nothing to me. You have to do better than that. 90," Carmilla says.
"With your knowledge, we wouldn't have to helplessly stand by while-" Vaggiesays.
"Clearly I am not the helpless one here. 80 seconds," Carmilla says.
"Well, then why? Why wouldn't you use what you know to fight?" Vaggie questions.
"To avoid the very problem you and your little friends are facing right now. I will not invite destruction into my house, on my people," Carmilla says.
Then Vaggie says, "You think we asked for this? All Charlie has ever done is try to make things better to help her people who, news flash, include your people too."
"And how exactly has that worked out for her? 45 seconds," Carmilla says.
Then Vaggie says, "We didn't pick this fight, but it's here now. And they aren't going to stop with us. You didn't see the look on their leader's face. With us out of the way, it's only a matter of time before they come for the rest of you. They won't stop until all of hell is wiped out, so you can help us make a stand here together, or you can stand alone tomorrow. And what do you think your chances will be then?"
"You're out of time," Carmilla says.
Carmilla jumps down and kicks Vaggie in the face. Vaggie slides on the floor.
Carmilla lands on the ground and says, "Angels attack quickly, viciously, and without mercy. You'll need to defend better than that."
Back at Cannibal Town...
Through the megaphone, Rosie announces, "Cannibals and Cannibettes, assemble in the square."
Rosie walks with Charlie to the stage and explains, "Now, darling, you know I would do anything, anything for my clients, but I can't exactly command all of Cannibal Town to follow someone else into battle. Now, don't get me wrong, they love carnage and bloodshed, but to get this group into line, you got to win 'em over," And through the megaphone, "Settle in! Settle in! Important meeting."
Soon, all the cannibals form a crowd around the stage.
"But how do I-" Charlie asks.
But Rosie answers, "With sparkle! Razzamatazz! And that oh so appealing moxie of yours."
"Shouldn't be a problem. It's not like you've ever failed to inspire before," Alastor says.
Charlie groans as she walks on stage.
Then Rosie advises, "Now, fair warning. This group sticks together. So in order to convince any of them, you'll need to convince all of them. And there's one in particular-"
Alastor expresses his annoyance, "Uuuugh, Susan."
"Susan, who's a bit of an... uh-" Rosie says.
"Ornery old bitch?" Alastor points out.
"That!" Rosie says, "She's tough, but win her over and the rest will be easy as pie. Ready?"
"I guess," Charlie says, sounding unsure.
Rosie then uses the megaphone to announce, "Everyone, we have a very special, very royal guest this evening! Please put your bloody hands together for Princess Charlie!"
Charlie smiles awkwardly and waves at the crowd.
But suddenly, someone shouts, "Booooo, bring Rosie back!"
Everyone in the audience turns to see a cannibal woman.
"Susan?" Charlie questions
Rosie and Alastor confirm, "Susan."
Charlie nervously laughs and says, "Sorry. Uh, okay, uh, my name's Charlie, and..."
Susan and Charlie both speak at the same timeWell, I run this hotel with my part... well someone and...Wait, let me start over. Angels are coming to kill us all and we need help defending our realm. So- we, uh... we need your help- With your assistance, we can make a stand for-" and Charlie soon begins to sing.
Charlie sings:
I...I have a dream
and I-
Then Susan yells, "Booooo! Get off the stage, you blue blood bitch! Booo! We don't give a shit about some hotel! Leave before I eat those big-ass eyes of yours! Boo! Get off! Where's the showmanship? Where's all the finesse? Fucking mediocre!"
Cracked under the pressure, Charlie flips Susan as she shouts, "FUCK YOU, YOU OLD BITCH!"
The Cannibal crowd gasps.
Rosie then walks to Charlie, "Okay! We'll be back after a brief intermission," and moves her away from the stage."
Back at the Hazbin Hotel...
Angel Dust and the others are trying to decide on what to do about the situation. Some of the group like Ussagi, Manny, and Lola miss Zelda.
Usagi sadly sighs, "What do you think we should do?"
"I'm not sure," Angel says.
"I'm not entirely sure myself," Pentious says.
Manny then says, "Still, we can't allow this to happen."
Lola then hugs Manny, "Do we... Do we have to leave?"
"I don't know," Manny says.
Husk says, "Can't believe we're sitting here complaining."
"I don't see you trying to think of something," Angel says, annoyed.
Manny then stands up, "Well, whatever the case on what you decide, I'm going to stay and fight back. I don't care if it's a lost cause. The hotel means alot to me and my sister, and it means a lot to Charlie and Zelda too."
"I want to help Zelda too," Lola says, raising her hand up.
Usagi soon nods and says, "I agree. I want to protect the hotel too."
Angel smiles and shrugs his shoulders, "Well, if you guys are in, then I'm in."
"I'll assist as well," Pentious says.
"Me too!" Niffty happily says, raising her hand.
Husk sighs with a smile, "Mighty as well. I've got used to you guys, might as well help out."
"So we're all in to protect the place," Angel says.
Everyone soon agrees.
Just then, the door opens and someone enters the room.
Then a familiar voice says, "And I'm very glad to hear it."
Everyone turns to the front door and is surprised.
"It can't be..." Angel says, surprised.
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