If you happen to be in search of good comebacks, you've come to the right place.

WELCOME!

The song is the live version of "Tous Les Mêmes" ("All the Same"), by Stromae. 

For those of you who have no idea what the heck's going on in the video, basically he's singing both the male and female parts of an argument between a couple. The girl thinks the guy is unfaithful, and the guy blames the girl's anger on "that time of the month." And then the two proceed to stereotype each other by their gender, saying that all men/women are the same, hence the name.

Wow, I'm a poet...

So the song is basically a bunch of roasts between the two, so I thought it was fitting for this in a way.

I may or may or may not be obsessed with Stromae's costume.

Anyways...

The following roasts will be rated on a scale of "Toasty,"  to "BURN, BABY BURN!"

Good?

Good.

"Your irritation wet - It will be easy for you to get rid of it."

Heat Index: "Half-toasted"

"Hey pincushion, eat any peanut butter?"

Heat Index: "My butt is in the oven getting roasted"

"Your daddy is cranky and terrible sunshine."

Heat Index: "Not quite an inferno."

"Your dad is a casualty."

OH BOY IS THIS EVER PERSONAL.

Heat index: "Have I been chucked into a volcano?"

"You must be kinking that it is rice crackers."

Heat Index: "A bomb was dropped and it seems to be atomic."

"You are ignorant of the air of the air in the welfare of the bees and the disease."

Heat Index: "This insult dropped in from space, its heat is supersonic."

"The friends who do not have a credit card are pornographic."

Pickup line... detected?????

Should I rate it by the Oof-A-Meter or the Heat Index?

Eh, I'll rate it for both:

Oof-A-Meter: *gets on a NASA shuttlecraft, oofs into the sun*

Heat index: "That diss is a deadly laser."

Fish is also a garbage: It smells like you guys!

Heat index: "Wit sharp as needles, Google be burning your legs like the Fitness Gram Pacer!"

Now go back and only read the words that I put under "Heat Index" and enjoy.

I promise you won't regret it. :)

And now for some nonsense I found along the way: 

Hanging out with a fear of getting awkward

Your coat is delicious.

The smell of your taste is delicious.

"I will sip your dad"

Me: "Google, what did I tell you about this very thing?"

Google: "'Don't pull a Beverly Crusher.'"

Me: "Precisely."

ST, TNG - "Phantasms," anyone?

No?

Okay...

"The smell of your legs, the smell of tender delicacy"

NO GOOGLE! BAD GOOGLE! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Bye!