*scoots in from out of the blue* Hi there. (    ͡ °  ͜ʖ   ͡ ° )

How's it goin'?

I'm going to be entering my terrible, cringeworthy, and nerdy puns into Google Translate. 

God help my future children. 

The song is "Bella Belle" by The Electric Swing Circus. It should not have been set as the soundtrack for this monstrosity.

Okay!

LET'S GET INTO THE INSANITY!!

Original: 

Did you hear about the guy that got his left half bitten off by a shark?

He's alright now...

Daddy Google:  

"Have you heard about the child about half an hour?

It's now ..."

Original (mine): 

What species are Ursa Major and Ursa Minor?

Circumpolar bears. (sorry, not sorry XD)

Daddy Google: 

"Fish Meiha miners and the like? 

Loromolar lous."

Ah, FORESHADOWING!!!!

Original (mine, taken directly out of my dad jokes journal)

Brace yourselves:

Given:

My math teacher isn't very focused.

Prove: My math teacher is weird.

Paragraph proof: 

He goes off on tangents most of the time, and is very irrational on how he handles the students. He's even eaten π in the middle of class! And yet, he won't even let us eat... It really is an odd class. The students were even divided over a mere addition problem. Come on people... It's not even that complex! And don't even get me started on the room; it is the single most cramped area I have ever been in; there is absolutely zero space to go inbetween the desks. And then there's the homework... It's constant-ly being given to us. Oh yeah, and another thing about the teacher: He has these radical  ideas about aliens, and how they want to take over control of their minds. Because of this, he wears a tin FOIL hat. He also believes that aliens are coming from the Δ Quadrant to evaluate our world. He wants us to be prepared for this, so he tries to help our brains function as best they can, in case we need to translate any of their language. So yeah, that's our teacher... He imagines things... He's weird... 

QED

Can you tell I hate proofs?

Because I can tell that I hate proofs.

Anyways, MOVING ON!!! (I'm so sorry lol)

Daddy Google: 

"Mom:

There is a science teacher is really focused.

Teaches a different doctrine to appear in my arms.

Signs indicate:

The drive to drive most of the time, and that his works in the performance of students. And it eats into the middle class! But do not let you eat ... This is too bad. The students on the problem. ... This came to be so hard? Do not bedroom. This is the most important part of my soul at any; are perforated between walking boards. Well, there's a school ... when it is uploaded to us. With this in mind to the other, apt to teach, and those who wish to control others to their ideas of what the situation is an idea of the drama. Now there were few elms thunder was added. Even credit from others who assess their Δ dialer worlds. Those who wish to, they may also prepare for you, and trying to help us was so cheerfully to the fatigue, the transfer of the language, if you wish to enter. Thus it is that she thinks she really is ... ... ...

It can be shown"

Keeping with the theme of math...

What do you call a math teacher's journal?

A common log. (end me)

Daddy Google: 

"What about the math teacher?

A common injury."

Anyways, I'm done.

BYE!