I awoke to sunshine outside mine and Ashton's window, his arms around my waist and my head on his chest.

His snores were getting softer as he started to wake up and his hand began to rub up and down my arm.

I felt his lips land on my forehead and I was getting ready to kiss him back when our bedroom door flung open.

Ashton and I sat up to see Ender running into our room.

"Mom! Dad! It's Gracie's birthday!" He jumped on our bed.

"We know." I laughed as he crawled up to us. "Is she up yet?"

"No, she's still sleeping." He shook his head.

"Good, that gives me time to make her breakfast. Want to help me?"

He nodded and the two of us got out of the bed to head to the kitchen.

Ashton came in a few minutes later to help me make pancakes with strawberries, syrup, and whipped cream on top and a cup of hot chocolate for her breakfast.

He carried the tray upstairs and I followed behind with one of her presents from me as we went into her room. Sprinkles was curled up next to my sleeping princess, her thumb tucked in her mouth with her curls everywhere.

This was the first birthday we would get to spend with Gracie, and I wanted to make it special, so I sat down next to her and placed my hand on her back.

"Good morning, birthday girl." I rubbed her back and she turned over in the blankets, opening her eyes to see us.

"Happy Birthday baby!" Ashton grinned at her and she took her thumb out of her mouth to smile.

"It's my birthday!" She gasped happily making all of us laugh.

"It is." I kissed her cheek. "You're five years old now."

"I big girl!"

"Yes you are." Ashton hugged her. "Now, Mommy made you some breakfast in bed."

She loved eating her breakfast in bed and asked if she could do this every morning but I told her it was only for special occasions.

Once she was done eating we let her unwrap her first present which was the doll we had picked out for her.

She loved that as well and proceeded to carry it around the house with her as I got her ready for her birthday party.

We were having it at the house and had invited all of our family and friends to celebrate. The boys were coming and bringing their families so there would be their little cousins for Gracie to play with. Ari, Jason, and Becca were coming and so were the bands managers and crew that had gotten to know Gracie on tour.

Ashton was downstairs setting up tables outside along with the help of Ender and soon Ari, Jason, and his mom arrived to help decorate and set up.

Gracie pranced around with her new doll in hand and Sprinkles on her heels, a happy smile on her face as she checked on all of her birthday happenings.

She stopped by Ann and I to see what snacks we were preparing, Ashton and Jason to see if they were setting up the games, and Ari to see the pink balloons and glitter on the tables.

As I was frosting Gracie's cake, Ashton picking out Enders outfit upstairs, there was a knock on the open door and I looked to see a delivery man.

"Hi." I set down the piping back and walked over to him. "Can I help you?"

"Are you Ms. Chase?" He asked me.

"Yes I am."

"Then I have a delivery for you." He smiled and then handed me a vase of light pink roses and a large pink and silver wrapped present box.

"Thank you." I said as he left and set the gift with the other presents and then the vase on the counter. Someone who couldn't make it from the tour crew must have sent it.

I went back to frosting the cake and soon people began to arrive, filling up our living room and outside area.

Gracie, as always, was the center of attention. Just how she liked it.

She paraded around the house to greet all of her guests and finally Ashton brought her back in the room to let her eat something from the snack table.

After playing the games Ashton and Jason had set up such as ring toss, hoola hoops, and table tennis for the adults, we brought her into the living room so she could open her presents.

Ashton and I sat on each side of her and Ashton would hand her a present while I wrote down who gave her what so I could send out thank you notes.

Ender helped her open the boxes to find a multitude of dolls, board games, puzzles, books, clothes, and other toys.

Ari and Jason got her a baby doll and bed for it to go in so she could have her own baby while Ashton and I had ours.

Ann got her a fairy garden that we could put outside so the fairies would have a "house like we do" according to Gracie. It was glittery and very cute and Gracie couldn't wait to set it up so badly that we had to make her sit back down so she could open the rest of her presents.

Becca got her clothes of course but also matching outfits for her dolls which Gracie was over the moon about.

Ender had made her a jar full of slips of paper and called it the "big brother jar" and she could choose a slip whenever she wanted to get a hug, him to get her out of a chore, convince Mommy and Daddy not to give her a time out (which Ashton and I got a kick out of), play, or let her pick the movie to watch.

I thought that was so creative and sweet and I kissed his cheek after he gave her the present, smiling proudly at how nice my children were to each other.

We were getting ready for the rest of mine and Ashton's gifts when Ashton passed over the pink and silver present.

"Who's that one from?" I asked so I could write it down.

"I don't know, there's no name." He shrugged.

Gracie opened the box to find a princess vanity and a pink sparkly back back with her name on it.

As she was gushing over the gifts to Ann, I noticed a card inside and picked it up to see a note.

Happy 5th Birthday, Gracie! I hope your day is special and filled with lots of love and gifts. Enjoy the presents.

All of my love,

Uncle H

A fist clenched around my heart as I read it.

"Whose it from?" Ashton asked me.

"Harry." I gave him a sad smile before placing the note back in the box. "Okay, let's move along to the next one."

Ashton gave me a smile before passing over one of mine and his gifts to Gracie.

"Gray, this one is from me and Mommy." He told her and she tore off the paper from the box to find a music box Ashton had specially made for her.

"Open it." He smiled and when she did there was a little princess figurine that spun around and the music to Ashton's lullaby for her played.

"Daddy that's my song!" She exclaimed and then hugged him tightly, thanking him.

"Okay, this one is also from me and Mommy." He handed her the last present and she opened it to find a fairy house tent that she could set up and play in.

She was so excited by all of her presents, but it was also time for cake, so I brought out the dessert and lit the candles so everyone could sing Happy Birthday to her.

"Happy Birthday sweet girl." I hugged her once we had stopped singing. "I love you."

"I love you, Mommy!" She grinned before turning back to Ashton who was cutting her a piece of cake.

After cake the kids went back out to play and I was cleaning up the present disaster when I reached Harry's box and took the note out of it.

I was about to throw it in the trash pile when something caught my eye and I noticed another envelope in the box.

I picked it up to find my name scrolled in his handwriting across the paper and I quickly stuck it in my bedroom before returning to the party.

Slowly people began to leave after hugging Gracie goodbye, and we finally began to clean up and organise her presents.

Ashton and Gracie set up the fairy garden that Ann got her outside by the trees, and he told her they would go look for fairies that night.

In her bedroom I set up the princess vanity Harry got her and then put away all of her new clothes, shoes, and accessories in the closet.

Her other toys were put in her toy box but I was starting to realise that with an eleven year old, a five year old, and a baby on the way, the toys were going to add up fast and we needed more space in the house to put them.

Once everything was put away I went downstairs where Ashton and Gracie were coming back in from searching for fairies.

"It's bed time for you, baby girl." I smiled at her.

"Daddy say I can sleep in your room." She grinned up at me. "That mean I take bath in your bathroom."

Gracie loved our bathroom because we had a jacuzzi bathtub and she liked to put in a lot of bubbles along with the jets.

"Okay, then head into my room and i'll be right there." I sent her on her way and then looked back at Ashton.

"Here, you've been moving all day, i'll give her a bath and you can rest." Ashton smiled at me and kissed my cheek before leading me over to the couch to sit down.

Ann made me some decaf coffee and we sat together with Ender, watching television while Ashton bathed Gracie.

She ran out fifteen minutes later with a towel wrapped around her and Ashton chasing her up the stairs so he could get her in pyjamas.

"Dorks." I laughed as they ran by and Ann shook her head as well.

The two of them came back downstairs and Ann bid us all goodnight and went to the bed and breakfast where she was staying.

Ender went up to bed as well, taking Bear with him, and then Ashton and I took Gracie to our room to sleep.

She laid between us, exhausted from the days events and fell right to sleep, Ashton and I both sitting up on either side of her on our phones.

I was looking at all of my photos that had been taken of the party and chose one Ari had taken of my arms around Gracie while I kissed her cheek before she blew out the candles on her birthday cake, to post on my account.

I hadn't been very active on social media but I think my reasons for staying off were warranted.

'Happy Birthday my sweet princess!! 5 years ago you were brought to life and my world has been forever changed for the better. Since you arrived in mine and your daddy's life, we've been nothing but in love with you and your tender heart and caring mind. You show us everyday that there is good in the world and remind us to be positive even in the most difficult moments. Gracie, i'm so proud to have you as my daughter and i'm so glad we were able to make today so special for you. So Happy Birthday my sweet girl, I love you more than words can explain and can't wait to see you become a big sister in just a few weeks. Just don't grow up too fast, okay?'

I set my phone down before rolling over to see Ashton posted as well.

He had chosen one of Gracie opening presents with us on either side of her.

'My baby girl turned 5 today!!! I told myself I wouldn't cry but I admit I got teary eyed watching you smile so widely as everyone sang Happy Birthday to you. You are loved beyond measure and i've never seen you smile so big as you realised you have so many people who love you and wanted to be there with you on your special day. You are so beautiful and selfless, just like your Mommy, and I'm so thankful every day for how you changed me for the better. I love being your dad and for being able to celebrate this day with you. I love you my Darcy Grace, Happy Birthday sweet angel.'

He set his phone down and then reached over to turn off his lamp while Gracie rolled over on top of me, one leg on each side of my baby bump.

Ashton turned back and chucked when he saw and then moved closer to wrap his arm around both of us.

"Night, baby." He kissed my forehead.

"Night." I smiled, his warmth making me feel safe and protected and calm enough to fall asleep.

At around two in the morning I was awoken by the baby kicking in my stomach, and I opened my eyes to see Gracie now asleep on Ashton's chest.

I decided to get up to use the restroom and then get a cup of tea.

As I was leaving the bedroom I looked at the dresser and stopped to grab the letter from Harry to take it with me.

I left the bedroom and made myself comfortable on the sofa in the living room, carefully opening the envelope to pull out a thick stack of papers.

I unfolded them and ran my fingers over the first page, my fingers feelings the indentions his pen had made on the paper.

Dear Carter,

I hope this letter makes it to you. I didn't know how else to do this so I thought I'd incorporate it with Gracie's birthday gift.

We've needed to talk but I figured meeting in person would be out of the question, but there's so much I need to tell you, so writing you a letter was my only option. So here it goes:

I knew there was a chance that you would say no to being with me, but I was putting in all of my hope and future with the idea that you would say yes, so writing this to you is one of the most difficult things I have ever done, almost as difficult as walking away.

That night I admitted my love for you was so heated and emotional, there were so many things I wanted to say to you but didn't. But I want to tell you because if I don't...we'll whatever, i'm just going to tell you.

I bought us a house. Well, the land to build a house. I had the designs drawn up and was going to show them to you when I brought you back to London with me, but since that didn't happen I sent them along with this letter.

I also bought us a penthouse in Manhattan. You've always talked about how much you loved the city, and I wanted you...us...to have a place where we could relax and spend time together.

I had it all planned out. Every detail of the life we would spend together. You would move to London so we could live together. I would be able to put all of my focus on managing you and our public appearances, and maybe continue doing music, that is if you wanted me to.

The land for our house is...was...out in the country. There was a school a few miles away in case Gracie wanted to live with us. I knew Ender would want to stay with Ashton, but he would be welcome to come, even though he doesn't like me much. I had plans to build stables so Gracie could learn how to ride horses, and there was a pond surrounded by willow trees, where I planned to put a bench so you'd have a quiet place to read.

The night before the BRIT's I showed the floor plan to my sister and mum, and they told me I was planning way too far ahead, and that I needed to slow down and make sure you felt the same way about me. Part of me wishes I would've listened to them, but getting my heart broken by you makes me the luckiest man on earth. It's an honor.

My closet is filled with your dresses, jewelry, and shoes, and if you'd like me to return them I will. And I know you're thinking that they never belonged to you in the first place, but I got them for you, so they're yours.

I have refused to let anyone wash my sheets since the last time you slept in my bed, because my pillow case holds traces of your perfume, and i'm scared they'll wash it away. It's truly pathetic but I've lost the will to care.

I forced my self to turn off every television in my home so I won't see the news, and i've deleted every social media app off my phone, and i'm considering having Gemma delete my social media altogether because i'm scared of what i'll do if I see someone say something bad about you.

This wasn't your fault, it was mine. I put you in an awful position and you didn't deserve that. But, you can't tell me that you didn't feel something more for me.

You kissed me back.

When I kissed you, your lips moved with mine. You kissed me back, we both know it.

I didn't end the way I had hoped, but damn it Car, that was the best kiss of my life. You know the sparks they talk about in movies? I felt that.

I've always felt that with you.

Carter I know I went about this the wrong way, but that doesn't mean my intentions weren't good.

I love you more than I can explain to you, and i'm sorry things have turned out like this.

I'd still like to talk with you in person, so when you're ready, just give me a call.

I'd say i'd try to get over you in the meantime, but that's a lie, because I don't think I can.

Anyways, I hope you're happy. Or at least happier than me.

I love you,

Harry."

P.S. Jupiter is fine. He's missing you. I am too.

My hands were shaking as I set the letter aside and moved to the blue prints of the house he was planning on building us.

After flipping through the house plans I came across the deed to the Manhattan penthouse and read over to see I had signed it. Harry must have slipped it into a stack of modelling forms so I wouldn't pay attention.

I reached for my laptop of the coffee table and typed in the address, finding pictures of it online.

It was nothing short of stunning.

I didn't realise I was crying until tears hit my keyboard and I quickly shut it and slid it back in the table before wiping my tears away.

I couldn't believe Harry. I couldn't believe him.

"Car?"

I gasped as I looked up to see Ashton coming out of our bedroom.

"What are you doing up? And why are you crying?"

He came over to me and sat down on the sofa.

"Is it about the baby? I know you're nervous but I promise it's going to be okay." He took my hands in his.

"No, no it's Harry." I said as I tried to stop crying. "He sent me a letter and I was just reading it."

"Oh." He said.

"He bought us a freaking house." I huffed and Ashton got wide eyes before picking up the papers and looking at all of them, including the letter.

"Can I read it?" He asked and I nodded, watching as he read through the pages.

"Wow." He breathed when he finished.

"I know." I sighed.

Ashton tossed the papers onto the coffee table before pulling me into his embrace. He tucked my head under his chin and pressed his lips pressing to my forehead.

"I just wish he had never said anything. Everything would've been fine if he never said he loved me. We were friends and he ruined it."

"I know, but he told you how he felt, and even though it hurt, it was the right thing to do. He may not have done it the right way but still, like he said his intentions were good." Ashton rubbed my back.

"I lost my best friend." I gripped onto his shirt.

"I know, and that sucks, but he lost someone too. You'll both have to learn how to live without the other."

"I know, it's just that- I thought of him as a brother. I lost Cadwell but then Harry came along and he was like an older brother to me, that's how I saw him. I was going to ask him to walk me down the isle at our wedding but it breaks my heart to know he thought of us as something we could never be."

"Well, the good news is that you have a lot of other brothers to choose from, including a biological one who I know would love nothing more than to walk his big sister down the isle at her wedding." He smiled at me, lightening the mood.

"I thought he could be ring bearer." I laughed.

"Then what about Luke? You and him are close. Or Jason? I know Michael or Calum would be up for it also."

"I don't want to take away your best men."

"I think i'll be okay." He winked.

Closing my eyes I leaned into him more.

"Thank you, for everything. I don't know what i'd do without you." I whispered.

"I don't know what i'd do without you either." He kissed my skin.

We sat there for a while until I yawned.

"Come on, you need to get some rest. The baby will be here soon and you need all the rest you can get." He sat us up.

I gathered all of the papers Harry had sent and put them in the dresser cabinet in our bedroom before Ashton and I slipped back into bed with Gracie who rolled back over to me in her sleep.

As I hugged her and ran my fingers through her hair I realised that what truly made me sad about the whole Harry situation was that I would never know if he would be able to experience true love.

The love he had for me was not true, it was make believe.

But me, I had a loving fiancé, a nurturing mother in law, an amazing brother, a caring daughter, and a innocent little boy on the way.

This was my true love, and my true love loved me too.

--

Next chapter is gonna be a big one!

Much love xx-M